"Sometimes" I'm dreamin about tomorrow, I'm thinkin of yesterday, I consume myself in sorrow this moment in time is what I betray, I am searching for the answers I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause I don't know which way to go, I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause my life is spinning out of control I never know what you want, I never know what you need, it was different from the start, when you cut me in two I never thought I would bleed, but I am searching for the answers I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause I don't know which way to go, I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause my life is spinning out of control I will go this alone I don't need nobody's help, I've got to do this myself, Alone, Alone, Alone, Alone I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause I don't know which way to go, I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause my life is spinning out of control I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause I don't know which way to go, I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause my life is spinning out of control

 

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evilgirl28666

:: 2004 15 November :: 4.25pm
:: Mood: im all grr n i dunno why
:: Music: saliva-rest in pieces

dave i guess...
yeah, so just called kim need my camera back. shes at brit's n dave is there. i dunno why its pissing me off so much. maybe its cuz im jelous or something...like that daves been ignoring me or maybe im blowing that up n im just paranoid or something about it.
i dunno
its just bugging me
like...grr i dont even wanna type it cuz it makes me feel like a friend whore or something.
im just wondering what it would be like if i never talked to dave when he was in my math class. 1-i probably woudnt be as big of a pot head. 2-i probably wouldnt be getting into harder drugs. umm...yeah
eh

trying to think of that i might be going to RI with jon n jamie spiker. that would be so fucking awsome. go see mychemical romance n the used. omfg id shit myself. mom probably wont let me go just cuz its on a tuesday....i can always pull the "you let me do it in the 7th grade. lol..." but i dunno. shell probably say no. but 2hour car ride with jon...hehe...then a what..3hour concert? omfg...hehe..then only problem is that id want to get wicked trashed n hes all straightedge. n not that it bothers me he choice about drugs n drinking,....hes got a good excuse...sort of the childhood trama thing going on....but id feel weird about being drunk or high around him. 1 cuz i just do n 2 cuz i know its kinda annoying to be around someone whos messed up while ur nt becuase they are annoying or just because u wanna be messed up too. but hey, maybe i can peer-pressure jon into a sip or two....not that id do nething like that...but hey...live a little.
eh
i love being messed up around guys neway...just kinda...i dunno...i get a rush or something lol

but o man...at a concet....high or drunk..im not just gonna be hyped up on sugar...illl bring weed lol but yeah...........
expecally when me n kim went to the 311 show n the whole place was fishbowled..omg the light show was insain lol
not that id do drugs ever.............
eh
ok so now im all not angry now.
thanx woohu
ttyl -ally

turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)


Evilgirl28666

:: 2004 12 November :: 7.01am
:: Mood: burnt out/hung over
:: Music: bush-glycerine

eh
so tired...
had thursday off
wednesday night told mom i was going to jaycee's house. we both went to rich's. spent the night. got so completely trashed n stoned that night. waked n baked the next morning....then i had to truck it back to my house before mom got home (at least 2 miles no joke) eh
then josh stopped by around 5.
three guesses what we did.
so right now i am completley brain dead
but i just had to forget this week...

turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)


Evilgirl28666

:: 2004 8 November :: 7.10pm
:: Mood: tired/stoned
:: Music: hoobastank-the reason

eh
today
was not fun
bobby n jaycee r fighting
and i dont wanna be drawn into the fight with my opinion about everything being the was it is
eh
im really
tired
.....
...
.

"Last" Survey

Created by blairie and taken 5470 times on bzoink!

Last Cigarette:umm...probably about a month ago but i didnt smoke cigarette....
Last Alcoholic Drink:friday
Last Car Ride:just right now...i drove bringing jamie home :)
Last Kiss:...
Last Good Cry:way over due
Last Library Book checked out:umm...probably stuff for summer reading lol
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:the grudge
Last Book Read:ahh...cut?
Last Movie Rented:...
Last Cuss Word Uttered:shit
Last Beverage Drank:fanta orange
Last Food Consumed:steak n french fries
Last Crush:b. j. + d.
Last Phone Call:to danielle
Last TV Show Watched:probably the farily oddparents
Last Time Showered:this morning
Last Shoes Worn:my chucks with the green star shoe laces
Last CD Played:my chemical romance
Last Item Bought:umm...a lighter
Last Download:...
Last Annoyance:bobby
Last Disappointment:bobby
Last Soda Drank:fanta
Last Thing Written:this survey
Last Key Used:y
Last Word Spoken:yeah
Last Sleep:last night
Last IM:7:08:46 PM to thegreatfig7
Last Sexual Fantasy:eh..dave lol
Last Weird Encounter:umm....driving while high
Last Ice Cream Eaten:umm i cant remember
Last Time Amused:few mins ago...driving while high
Last Time Wanting To Die:3:40ish
Last Time In Love:eh..today at lunch
Last Time Hugged:afterschool with jaycee
Last Time Scolded:um..ahhh
Last Time Resentful:today, 3:40ish
Last Chair Sat In:my piano chair
Last Lipstick Used:dont use lipstick
Last Underwear Worn:pink ones
Last Bra Worn:sports bra thingy
Last Shirt Worn:the black with the green part at the top
Last Webpage Visited:woohu/bzoink

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turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)


evilgirl28666

:: 2004 1 November :: 7.28pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: my chemical romance

X the ones you have done:

(x) I have been drunk
( ) I have kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) I have kissed a member of the same sex
( ) I crashed a friend's car
( ) I have been to Japan
( ) I rode in a taxi
(x ) I have been in love
( ) I've had sex
(x ) I've had sex in public
(x ) I've shoplifted
( ) I have been fired
( ) I have cut myself on purpose
(x ) I have smoked pot
(x ) I still smoke pot
( ) I've had a 3-some
( x) I've snuck out of my parent's house
( ) I have been tied up. (yes...in THAT way)
(x ) I pissed on myself
( ) I have been arrested
( ) I've made out with a stranger
( ) I've stolen something from my job
( ) I've celebrated New Year's in Time Square
( ) I've gone on a blind date
( x) I've lied to a friend
( ) I've had a crush on a teacher
( ) I've celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
( ) I have been to Europe
(x ) I've skipped school
( ) I have thrown up in a bar
( ) I have purposely set myself on fire
( ) I have eaten sushi
( ) I have been snowboarding
(x ) I have been happy with myself (keyword:have)
( ) I have met a movie star
( ) I had sex in a pool
( ) I went to a prom with someone of the same sex
( ) I've bungee jumped
( ) I have been to a pop concert
( ) I have dated someone for over a year
( ) I sold naked pictures of myself
( ) I have been in a car accident
(x ) I have slept in the nude
( x) I've eaten cheesecake (omg i love cheesecakke)
( ) I've had jury duty
(x ) I've hated someone without knowing them
( ) I have been to Maine
( ) I've shot a real gun
( ) I've ran around with my trousers around my ankles
( ) I've had sex with someone within a week of meeting them
( ) I've done ecstasy
(x ) I've gotten my ass kicked
( ) I've been caught smoking
( ) I've worn boxers
( ) I've milked a cow
(x) I've got in a verbal fight with a teacher
( ) I've cheated on someone
( ) had sex with a best friend
( x) Lied one time in this survey
( ) Lied more then once in this survey.
(x) lied to a friend you see everyday
( ) Kissed a person that has a g/f or b/f
( ) Used ice cubes as a foreplay accessory
(x ) wasted time filling this out instead of doing something productive
( ) have nude pics of yourself on your computer
( ) walked across 8 lanes of interstate highway
(x ) have been to camp
(x ) have read a book(s) more than one time
( ) have eaten cat food
( ) Have been pulled over by a cop
( ) own porn
( ) am a Republican
( ) likes classic movies
( x) own a kitty
( ) carried a lunchbox in high school
(x ) buy gumballs to watch them swirl in the machine
(x ) likes to be dominated
(x xx) likes to drive with the windows down and the music turned up
( ) eats PB &J for breakfast because there's nothing else

extremely long survey

Created by xfallingforyoux and taken 39724 times on bzoink!

ABOUT YOU
Your full name:alison *a**li*e hunt
Age:16
Height:5'7
Natural hair colour:brown
Eye colour:brown
Number of siblings:only chilld
Glasses/contacts?:nope
Piercings:no
Tattoos:no
Braces?:nope
FAVOURITE
Colour:i like em all
Band:i like alotof them
Song:same as the above
Stuffed animal:beanie babys
Video game:halo
TV show:buffy the vampire slayer
Movie:um..i like to many of them
Book:speak by anderson, you dont knnow me-klass, nething by garth nix
Food:umm...bonless baffalo wings
Game on a cell phone:the game with the snake n u cant touch the edges or urself
CD cover:?
Flower:anything pretty
Scent:guys/laundry/shampoo
Animal:cat
Comic book:
Cereal:oatmeal amond crisp
Website:www. .com
Cartoon:foamy/invader zim/angry beavers/AHHH Real Monsters/
DO YOU
Play an instrument?:piano/drums mostly, but guitar n bass sometimes
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:no, i usually dont watch even ten mins of it
Like to sing?:yeah
Have a job?:no
Have a cell phone?:no
Like to play sports?:no
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:no
Have a crush on someone?:of course
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:no
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:no
Have any special talents/skills?:i am the most sarcastic person youll ever meet
Excercise daily?:i walk to and from school usually
Like school?:sometimes
CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:no
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:yeah, but not on the tip tip
Speak any other languages?:some russian, even less spanish
Go a day without food?:yeaeh
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:yeah
Read music, not just tabs?:yeah
Roll your tongue?:yeah
Eat a whole pizza?:if i really really wanted to
HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:no
Cried to get out of trouble?:no
Gotten lost in your city?:no
Seen a shooting star?:yeah
Been to any other countries besides the united states?:no
Had a serious surgery?:no
Stolen something important to someone else?:no
Solved a rubiks cube?:ive solved on side
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:yeah, probably
Cried over a girl?:my friends
Cried over a boy?:all the time
Kissed a random stranger?:no
Hugged a random stranger?:no
Been in a fist fight?:no
Been arrested?:no
Done drugs?:yeah
Had alcohol?:yeah
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:yeah, soda is the worse
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:yup
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:nope
Swore at your parents?:yeah
Been to warped tour?:no
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:no
Been in love?:sure
Been close to love?:maybe
Been to a casino?:no
Ran over an animal and killed it?:no
Broken a bone?:yeah
Gotten stitches?:yeah
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:no
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:no
Made homemade muffins?:no
Bitten someone?:yes
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:no
More than 5 times?:no
Been to niagra falls?:no
Burped in someones face?:yup
Gotten the chicken pox?:yeah
WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:umm...friday? lol.
Went to the bathroom:3 pm ish
Saw a movie in theaters:sunday, the grude for the second time
Read a book:last night
Had a snow day:last year
Had a party:sep. 9th
Had a slumber party:saturday-sunday
Made fun of someone:today
Tripped in front of someone:like an hour ago, but i dono if neone saw me
Went to the grocery store:more than two weeks
Got sick:ahh...
Cursed:like right fucking now
PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:neither
Black/white:both
Lights on/lights off:off
TV/movie:depends
Car/truck:car
Body spray/lotion:spray
Cash/check:cash
Pillows/blankets:blankets
Headache/stomach ache:headache
Paint/charcoal:boh
Chinese food/mexican food:both
Summer/winter:both
Snow/rain:i love em both
Fog/misty:misty
Rock/rap:rock
Meat/vegetarian:MMMEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAATTTTTTTT
Boy/girl:boy
Chocolate/vanilla:vanilla all the way baby
Sprinkles/icing:icing
Cake/pie:cake
French toast/french fries:fries
Strawberries/blueberries:neither...ewwy
Ocean/swimming pool:ocean
Hugs/kisses:kisses
Cookies/muffins:cookies
p33n/bewbz:if i knew wtf theres were
Wallet/pocket:wallet
Window/door:window
Emo/goth:both
Pink/purple:both
Cat/dog:cat
Long sleeve/short sleeve:short
Pants/shorts:pants
Winter break/spring break:both
Spring/autumn:both
Clouds/clear sky:both
Moon/mars:earth
FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:ahh...depends on ur def. of friend
What are their names?:....
Do you have a best friend?:i dont know anymore
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:yeah
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:way more guy friends
Have you ever lost a friend?:yeah
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:yeah
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:yeah lol...omg its 3:03
Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?:yeah..just like last week
Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?:ahh..i dono.
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:walked through freezing ocean water, carring a bike....even though "my friend" then ignored me for a month after that long story..
Do you miss any of your old friends?:yeah
What friend have you known the longest?:kim
Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?:yeah, i reget screwing every fucking thing up with everyone
If so, what is it?:................
How often do you spend time with your friends?:i spend as much time as i want whenever i want
Do any of your friends drive?:no
Has a friend of yours ever died?:no
Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?:drugs probaably
What do you think your friends think of you?:i dono....
LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?:i have no fucking idea
If you have, with who?:..
Are you single?:yeah
Are you in a relationship?:no
If so, for how long?:no
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:yeah.,...i gotta
What is your idea of the best date?:walking around n just being able to talk about nething..im not that hard to impress
What was your first kiss like?:still waiting
How old were you when you got your first kiss?:
Do you think love is a load of shit?:
Whats the best experiance youve ever had with the opposite sex?:not really a lot of choices..well thanx to tirelle, he made me feel good when we "fast" danced together
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?:no
Have you ever been dumped?:no
Have you ever dumped someone?:no
Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex?:grabbed asses, touched covered balls,
WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers:slide
Hat:bobby
Hard:penis
Free:memory
Space:waster
Taste:s like chicken
Good charlotte:sucks
Red:blood
Deep:cuts
Heart:cold
Cord:wire
Cheese:cake
Rain:walk
Work:no
Pedal:bike
Head:dead
Bed:where i wanna be
Fluff:er nutter
Hardcore:the best
Race:me
Knife:wrist
Jump:higher
I....
am:fucked up
want:to be liked
need:a fucking lot of pot
crave:drugs
love:i dono what i love
hate:too much
did:bad things
feel:like shit
miss:bobby comming over at 9 in the morning
am annoyed by:bobby
would rather:kill myself
am tired of:everything
will always:hate myself
SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:nething except country n freaky religious
What time is it now?:8:01 pm
What day is it?:monday
Whens the last time you called someone?:like an hour ago
How much money do you have right now?:umm...20bucks?
Are you hungry?:yeah
Whatcha doin?:this thingy
Do you like parades?:yeah
Do you like the moon?:http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:i dono..sit at my computer
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:yeah
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:to read peoples minds
Have you ever had a picnic?:yeah
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:omg yes
What about sock em boppers?:no
Are you wearing any socks right now?:yeah
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:some days
pretty?:no
sarcastic?:yeahhhhhhhhh
lazy?:yeah
hyper?:yeah
friendly?:yeah
evil?:yeah
smart?:kinda
strong?:eh...i got force
talented?:eh
dorky?:yeah
ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)
high:dave
skip:jaycee
dance:danielle
lonely:amanda
pen:ryan
flower:jaycee (she made me one with patty paper)
window:the russian 2 class
psycho:andrew
brain freeze:kim
orange:kim
sassy:sasha
jelly:kim
FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:...
love:yeah
drunk drivers:against
airplanes:?
war:sure, just as long as i dont get dragged into it
canada:yeah
united states:yeah
rock music:YES
gay marriage:yeeah, who gives fuck what other people wanna do with there lives
school:never
surveys:yeah
parents:no way in hell
cars:yeah
killing:eh
britney spears:no
coffee:no
pants:nope
WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:no
Play strip poker?:no
Run away?:yeah
Curse at a teacher?:yeah
Not take a shower for a week?:no
Ask someone out?:eh
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:well i have before
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:perhaps
Go scuba diving?:eh
Write a book?:yeah
Become a rockstar?:yeah
Have casual sex?:if i was high enough
LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:herbal essencse
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?:....
What kind of computer do you have?:gatway
What grade are you in?:10
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:yup
Or just make out?:i would like to make out
How many posters do you have in your room?:like 11
How many cds do you have?:a lot
What time is it now?:8:08

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turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)


Evilgirl28666

:: 2004 1 November :: 7.03am
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: jimmy eat world

blah!
this weekend was awsome
besides yesterdays minor freak out at like 5:30 because bobby cant read a fucking train schedual

friday: friday was the halloween dance, and i went over danielles house with jaycee tirelle n melody. it was wicked fun, tirelle was hue heffiner n danielle n jaycee were bunnies. i thought they all looked wicked good. a was a whore. i got this wicked awsome shirt with all these frilly things and this awsome skirt n some cool shoes with fishnet tights. i looked like a friggin nun compared to some of the other girls there. but it was pretty cool. pcock was a woman and i didnt even reckonize him. i left a little early. some people noticed i left lol...yeah
saturday me jaycee danielle n kim all chilled at my house till like 6 then we went to daves house. he was having a party. he said that like 20people were gonna go n like 13 showed. i didnt know most of them.
kim n steve were there for like 2hours. me jaycee danielle n jaycees bf rich then left like 20mins after kim. we walked all around beverly, including to bobbys house n threw stuff at his window but i guess he was sleeping or something. so we walked to danielles house n i slept over there. we were insane. i was like peeing myself laughing and between the laughing i feel asleep for like 10 mins. there were 4 people on danielles bed. it was amusing. we made PASTA n all this shiz-nit. lol yeah.
sunday we got up at like 1 n bobby calls n is like lets take the train to salem. n i was like why cant we walk but he wanted to take the stupid train. oh well. so we hauled our asses over to the train station. (me taking a 5min shower n getting ready) so we get there n bobby says that we have to wait 20mins for the next train. ok. 2hours later bobby figures out hes a moron and says "sry for ruining ur day" and leaves. me and danielle have minor break down because for the past 2 days we have been happy constantly and all of a sudden we feel like major shit. so everyone goes home but i go to kims house. get my slut clothes on n get ready with everyone. kims a slut, so is brit n im a whore lol.
dave shows up with andrew n emo-john. dave paints his whole face blue which kinda pissed me off incase i was in the situation to kiss him or something. i didnt want a blue face lol. andrew painted his whole face red with horns n a cape. it was all really funny. brits brother was in a chicken suit n her bf was in a gorilla outfit. i laughed my ass off about that.
so we walked voer the bridge n past bill n bobs and i randomly asked kim for her cell n it turns out my mom called twice. i was flipping out but it turns out jon crean just wanted to hang out, he showed up at my house. so i really wanted to hang out with him so i went back to bill n bobs to wait for him. he was wearing a poncho thing with little guitar on his back. it looked really funny but i always think halloween is your chance to be something insane. but oh well. me n him spent most of the night walking next to each other n talking. which was nice because i havent talked to him in like a month. at one point dave was like "are you guys holding hands?" n i was like wtf when did this happen but we werent. i did make sure that the hand that was next to him was open at all times though..lol...im too hopeful.
yeah, since jon lives like down the street from me we walked home together n it was pretty nice being able to walk with him
yeah
i g2g
ttyl
home
paz

turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)


eragedbluerat

:: 2004 26 October :: 2.50pm
:: Mood: sad would be an understatement
:: Music: One Thing - Finger Eleven

I Miss Bob
I'm sitting here crying right now. Full on balling my eyes out. I dont know what brought this on. but i miss Bob so much. he was the coolest little bunny ever. He made me so happy. Especially when i was depressed and upset. Bob just made me smile and laugh. And you know what the worst part is? I killed him. ME. Despite how much i loved him i was the one that eventually killed him. he was overweight and i didnt push him hard enough to run or exercise. I didnt take good enough care of him. And i know he suffered. its all so upsetting. I cant take it anymore. I need him back now. i need to know that Bob isnt mad at me. i knew he's just a bunny but to me he wasnt just a bunny. he was a source of joy. he was MY bunny. I know that friends die and stuff. Especially now with Ian being dead. But the thing is, i didnt know Ian. and Bob was there no matter what. Probably because he was in a cage. but he never flipped ou and got mad for a dumb reason. he didnt have those stupid human qualities like jelousy and hatred. He never got angry at me for saying something stupid. He was just Bob. Always happy to see me. And i killed him. God i need help.
~BOYER

2 And the wings that you burn..... | turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)


evilgirl28666

:: 2004 21 October :: 7.14am
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: jimmy eat world-hear you me

eh
well
this week has been mostly down, compaired to the ups. and this weekend i have to write my research paper for english. and ive only written the plot section out of everything.
i think i might write it tonight. get it out of the way and im sure there'll be things that i dont know how to do on it.
joy
i almost dont wanna pass it in
but im going to

so ive been attempting at not liking bobby
eh
"i didnt talk to you for a month cuz it kinda freaked me out that you liked me"
dono why that shocked me
never has before
eh
that was really depressing
gonna get really stoned/wasted/something this weekend n forget all this shit

-said to bobby-
im pretty sure i have you figured out
and im pretty sure you know im avoiding you or something
because you've been i.m.ing me alot
well just yesterday you did
yeah i know im a freak n shit
sry that i like you
if i had some say over it then i wouldnt
sry that i think ur great even though u
sry for that


blah
i feel like immense crap
jamie just called

at the end of the world
or the last thing i see
you are never comming home....

turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)


evilgirl28666

:: 2004 19 October :: 6.18pm
:: Mood: i dont think i wanna live anymore
:: Music: my chemical romance-the ghost of you

i dont think i want to live anymore

turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)


evilgirl28666

:: 2004 18 October :: 9.48pm
:: Mood: happy and proud of myself, and yet fucking depress
:: Music: my chemical romance-helena

got my permit and bobby is so fucking
yeah, got my permit
ever though i answered one of the questions wrong "yes, its ok to go through intersections with red lights and without slowly down."
haha oh well.
got three wrong -including that- something about random ages and blood acohol level and licence suspending.
eh.
its bothering me a lil
but not as much as bobby

cuz he like -verbally- attacked dave yesterday, and i only asked why and he like flipped out and blocked me
and blocked me today
eh.
wtf
goes on
in your head
i will -probably- never know
gotta figure you out though
if its the last thing i do
ill make it my life goal...lol
eh, which brings me to jon
and the whole me screwing what pathedic friendship we had
wow
typing that out made me completely depressed.
i was talking to dave today and im pretty sure somethings up with him.
he wasnt talking.
and its dave. he always talks.

-pigs now fly, bobby just unblocked me-

yeah, so i will be all talking to dave tommorow
trying not to be all over him

but im also figuring out more about bobby,
like the fact that he pushes anyone/everyone away.
and how he is wicked insecure and has to present himself differently around out people and how he has low self-esteem.

and ill admit
i could be wrong
but im not usually wrong about people.
i got people figured out basically.

yeah
just figured bobby out

hehe


and told him

g2g

`ttyl

turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)


eragedbluerat

:: 2004 18 October :: 5.58pm
:: Mood: im thinking
:: Music: a sad song in my head

Wow
A kid died in a car crash this friday. He was in my sociology class. His name was Ian. I didnt know him well, so im not going to act like i did. But you get used to seeing someone everyday in class after about 2 months. he was an amazing kid. even from the little time i knew him i found that out. he had this way of making everybody laugh, and he wasn't judgemental at all. he was the perfect friend. He came into class everyday with a smile on his face. always happy and laughing. not that annoying perky shit but he was genuinely happy. He was different. he had long braids in his hair and he didnt excatly fit with the "in crowd". but thats what made him Ian. He never cared about that kind of stuff. I think my sociology teacher said it best, "he didnt be different simply to be different. He was different because thats who Ian was." it's hard to watch people i know crying and not being able to help them. to find some way to ease their pain. ive offered to all my friends that if they need me for anything im there. And they know that. but its all i can do. It really gets you thinking about your own mortality. How many things have i left undone? How many things have i wasted or given up or thrown away? Its scary to see someone and then find out that 4 hours later they died. Your life is fragile but so important. never waste it. dont do drugs. dont drink. Be like Ian. and live your life, happy everyday.
~BOYER

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