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2004 20 May :: 3.44pm
Where is the bottom?
So what are my choices? Oh, thats right, I've got none. And thats my own goddamned fault.
Today sucked...tomorrow will suck more by far.
I have nothing more to say...its pointless anyways
BYE
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2004 18 May :: 3.35pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: Goo Goo Dolls- Acoustic #3
So what...I suck
It's been awhile huh.
Lets see...
I decided to take on my notebook with topics instead of days. Im just going to concentrate on a topic and take it as far as it'll go. Irrelevent huh.
Im doing so bad in school. So bad...like worse than ever in my life. Bad bad bad.
I got a 950 on my SATs....not too proud of that. Ehh...atleast I heard of worse scores. Makes things feel alittle better.
Today was ok. I was hyper and annoying. It was nice outside. I have to go to Smith Road for an hour in about 20 minutes. Then to work. Speaking of work.
Tuesday- 430
Wednesday- 430
Thursday- 430
Friday- 6
Saturday- 430
Now say it with me...holy shit! Im going to be a very tired Karlene.
I dont mind, it keeps me out of the house and out of my mind...I couldnt ask for anything else.
Blah. BLAH.
I just took a turn for the worst and I feel like Im screaming underwater because the screams dont really leave me because I choke first. Sorry for that ramble
Im in a good mood : )
Talk to you next time I can. Oh pretend to worry.
BYE
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2004 15 May :: 10.56pm
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: Alkaline Trio- Trouble Breathing
No really, when does it end?
So I havent written is awhile again it seems.
Yesturday I was stuck in ISS which was relaxing. I dont mind being away from the normal people in my normal day. I dont like most of them anyways. Afterschool Sean and I got pizza and then went back to my house. We hung out until he had to go the Junior High. Then his dad picked me up and we went to the talent show to watch his band play. They did great. Afterwards we went to Applebees with his family. By then I was exhausted. I got locked out of the house and my mom had to wake up and let me in. Oops.
So Sean came over this morning and we hung out. Then we went to the zoo. It was the best zoo trip Ive ever been on. The animals were so lively today. They were all moving around and doing funny things. We saw them all and got soaked in the rain. Then we came back to my house and watched animal planet and talked a lot. *Thanks for the backrubs and please dont become a mountain loving entrepreneur*
Yep, I know, you dont care.
Theres a few things I want to do right now. A couple are ironic.
Maybe I should just go to bed.
Yeah...
maybe
BYE
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2004 13 May :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: hurt
:: Music: Yellowcard- Believe
I could use a good listener right now
right when I said that one called but I guess I dont want to talk anyways...way to go Karlene, way to go...
So this morning started off with everything going wrong. History was good...we talked about WWII which is always interesting. Then it was the AIDs talk in gym. Then Child Psych which was fine I guess. Then english...I just wanted to cry. Im so screwed. Damn me. At least we are reading a book that looks interesting.
Then my mom picked Sean and I up and we killed it. My mom and I at least. She just knows how to get to me and Im just so bad at taking it. I cant even begin to anymore. I hate myself for it. It all is my fault. I just dont have it in me. I hate me.
We got applebees and walked to the Junior High and ate. Then he had to go to rehersal and I went home. I was locked out because I left my bag in my moms car. Im so frustrated by this point. She drove by and opened the garage not even looking at me. Shes mad at me. I just burst into tears. I hate it so much.
So now Im here and so overwelmed. I feel so screwed up right now. I want to talk to someone but there isnt anyone I want or can talk to. I hate that too. I hate when I get like this...DAMN ME
They painted up your secrets
With the lies they told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew
And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming
No one's listening anyway
Your voice is small and fading
And you hide in here unknown
And your mother loves your father
Cause she's got nowhere to go
And she wonders where these dreams go
Cause the world got in her way
What's the point in ever trying
Nothing's changing anyway
They press their lips against you
And you love the lies they say
And I tried so hard to reach you
But you're falling anyway
And you know I see right through you
Cause the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming
You're not listening anyway
-Goo Goo Dolls-
That song has played so many times this week in my cd player...I love it. Its so short but I love it.
I have to work tonight and I really dont feel up to it. Im so dead right now.
Im sorry, Im done bitching
BYE
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2004 10 May :: 6.19pm
:: Mood: hot
:: Music: Cold- Rain Song
Ahh sun
So I didnt wake up this morning until 7. My dad had to come home from work and pick me up. That kind of blew. Right when I walked in a I had to go to the deans and set up a detention and then I walked into music with the teacher who hates me and she started giving me shit right away. Like she didnt notice I was having a bad morning or something. So she was a pain. Then I had to go bomb a math test. Then I found out that I have a brother older than my chem grade...thats shitty. Then studyhall was just boring.
After school I went home and Lauren came over for a little bit. Then I made Sean a lunch and brought it up to his rehersal at the junior high. I hung out with him for awhile and now I am home. My boss just called and Im going into work at 7. Extra hours...woohoo! I knew I needed icecream today.
This is my schedule for the week.
Tues- Work @ 4
Wed- Work @ 430
Thurs- Work@7
Fri- Talent Show
Sat- Reserved
Sun- Work @ 4
So thats that.
BYE
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2004 8 May :: 11.32pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: incubus- i miss you
The day of the Possum
Today my mom ran through a red light and killed a possum. I felt it crunch.
It gives me shivers.
BYE
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2004 8 May :: 2.46pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: ehh nothing
This is a record of some kind
I haven't updated in like 2 whole days!
So last night was prom. It was actually not bad. My mom went through 2 rolls of film...one i didnt even have my dress on yet. Seans family went picture crazy too. Thennnn my neighbor. So we finally got to go. We hung out there until 10. Then we went to Santangelos and ate yummy food. Then we went bowling with drunken annoying people next to us. I won a game! We went back to Seans and watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Simpsons. Haha. I got home around 3. I had to take my hair down which was a bitch seeing how there were like 100 bobby pins in my hair.
I slept til noon today which is long for me. Then I went and got my mom her mommy day stuff. We might go out to eat tonight because I dont have to work til 7 and tomorrow I have to work at 4:30 plus Survivor is on and I wouldnt want to disturb her during that.
Im so tired. I just want to sleep. I have no idea how Im going to make it tonight. Blaah.
BYE
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2004 5 May :: 6.34pm
:: Mood: thankful
:: Music: A mix
Cheesy Fries
So today wasnt horrible. ISS wasnt that bad. I did my homework, wrote a note and read my book. Sean was there too. We had some annoying teachers and such.
Then I went to Child Psych which was just a blast let me tell you. Then English which was off the charts. We finished "Thier Eyes were Watching God"...thank God. It was not my favorite book. I did like the way she wrote some things but the dialogue annoyed me pretty bad.
After school Lawson and I attempted to get food. We made it to blockbuster when he realized he had to go get his Tux. So he dropped me off and went to do that. Then he picked me up again and we went to Haufmans Hothaus and got cheesy fries. It was fun. I wonder who would take it? Haha. Let me just say, Lawson, you do rule....you and the green painters message tape.
So now Im home and Im in a pretty good mood...weird huh? I just want to take a shower. Thats all.
Tomorrow is going to blow...I cant tell.
Friday...we'll make it fun.
Saturday...BLOW
Sunday...BLOW MORE
Yeah, this weekend is going to be hell and a half. Maybe next weekend will be better. Ehh...2 bad days cant kill me...Ive gone through worse.
Ha Im rambling.
blaahhh.
Hyper?
BYE
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2004 4 May :: 10.02pm
graaaaah
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2004 4 May :: 3.50pm
:: Mood: Huh?
:: Music: Double Drive- Million People
Im here
So today was pretty crappy. I had to watch a so called movie in music that was unbelievably horrible. I got a 45% on a math quiz. Lunch I got wheat thins :). Chemistry, I was dreading but ended up not being so bad. Then studyhall where I got texts up the ying yang and I got to listen to my cd player. After school was the pizza place but I got chinese.
Im in a very dull mood. I dont know what my issue is.
I have to work in about 50 minutes. I hope I make it.
Yaaa! Meine Mutti ist in die Hause.
This weekend is going to blow.
Why am I worrying? Its tuesday.
I have ISS tomorrow. Its okay, so does Sean.
BYE
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2004 3 May :: 3.07pm
:: Mood: fluctuant
:: Music: Brand New
fluctuant?....that isnt even a word is it?
I dont think I like this cd. Its too...familiar. Maybe it'll get better...Im only on the third track.
Yesturday was sunday. Sunday was really good.
Today is Monday. History- We listened to Phil Collins. Gym- Ice Skating which was cold. Lunch which was lunch-like. Psych- we made climbing monkies and wrote a lot. English- I got a 14 on a quiz that I made up the answers to since I didnt read. Then I wrote a note.
Now Im home. Its the first time I have been home on a weekday, doing nothing for awhile.
So we're on track 5 and Im still not into this. Hey Karlene, how about you switch cd's. Wow great idea, thanks.
Jet, I like Jet.
Im done now.
BYE
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2004 2 May :: 9.52am
:: Mood: good
:: Music: BCR
Uhh
So I havent written in like a day. Oh no...its a dilema. Did I write on friday? No...I didnt.
Friday consisted of beautiful non learning weather. Sean and I took advantage of it. Then I had to work. It was a busy night. They let me leave at 10 since I had SATs in the morning.
Saturday, which was yesturday was a good day. I had a little bit of everything all mixed in one. Well, not really but it felt that way since it was a busy day. I went to the SATs and bombed them. Man, that was bad. Its going to be one low number I assure you. So after that I washed my moms car since I rule. But I did a really bad job. Sean showed up and we hung out. I dont remember exactly what we did but you dont care anyways so it doesnt matter. We had tacos...then work. Work started off kind of bad seeing how everyone was really pissy. It ended up fine though. Then I went bowling. Just I lost the alley and ended up somewhere else. Its weird how that happens sometimes. Haha it was fun and ny.
Today I do NOT have to work. Where do you think I'll be?
BYE
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2004 29 April :: 9.22pm
:: Mood: exhausted
wow
So school was fine. Do I remember it? No. I did my homework in every class which made me proud and stuff.
I came home for 10 minutes and went to work at 3. It was the busiest night so far. That might be because it hit 87 today. What a tease...it'll be gone tomorrow Im sure. But there were lines for hours to the sidewalk. Im so tired right now. I left early since I came in early...kind of feel bad. But my feet also feel bad. Fair trade?
So whats tomorrow? Friday. Work. Im missing prevention night. Oh well. Saturday is SAT annnnd then work.
Yeah.
My mom decided to clean my room today without telling me. So it clean....but I cant find a damn thing. I cant believe she didnt yell at me for anything. Whatever. I think they stopped yelling at me now.
for lack of anything better...
BYE
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2004 28 April :: 10.05pm
:: Mood: accomplished
Potato Roses and Green Eggs and Ham
So I had a good day reguardless how it should have went.
First block I actually did my work and ignored others complaining. Second block I sat around and played stupid as others did math. Then it was a SADD meeting. Then Sean and I left. We went to the pizza place and hung out for the rest of the day. We took the late bus home to my house and then went to the mall. Sean picked out my shoes and we looked for a shirt for him...didnt happen. We got Johnny Rockets. Theeen I dragged him along to my dress fitting. HEY it fits. So we went to the school for his brothers band thing and to applebees. It was a fullfilling day. SHIIIIIIIIPS....I forgot to do my english homework. I suck at life.
Tomorrow is work. Thats it.
BYE
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2004 27 April :: 3.34pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: coheed and cambria
New technique?
I guess so.
Well Im about to go to work. But I thought Id make a quick one.
Today was an easy day. We watched a movie in history. I went ice skating in gyme with Tasha. Ope Windon raise hand a push! I went to Gillette for the last time in the class. It was cute. They made us all cards and tissue paper flowers. Then english we just talked. Lauren came home with me and we ate noodles with alfredo sause.
Tomorrow is shoe,shirt,tie,bra shopping. Then hemming.
Well thats that I guess.
BYE
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