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shannonw55

:: 2005 4 May :: 4.34pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Bright Eyes - It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends

Conor Oberst is exactly 10 years older than me.
How awesome is that?

8 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 28 April :: 5.03pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: Third Eye Blind - Thanks a Lot

Oh my Lord, what a jackass.
Now what I don't understand is why he would make up a lie I wasn't the one to break up with him. He really wants to be a macho man. You can completely ditch the idea of me wanting to be friends with him again. What an ass. He better be shelling out the apologies tomorrow, and I don't mean just to me. I can't believe he made me believe that girl was like that. I really don't think he has a resonable explaination at all. He just a big liar.
And I trust that you guys aren't gonna believe the crap that he's saying, right? That is seriously the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Why the hell is he still trying to hurt me?

2 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


loupgarou

:: 2005 27 April :: 4.05pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: A Kiss to Build a Dream On - Louis Armstrong

Breakaway day, another political statement, and other things
First off, just to get up-to-date, we are finished with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It was fun while it lasted, and I made friends with a lot of people. Hopefully I will be able to post something about the experiences later.

Today I went on our freshman breakaway day. It's basically a retreat. I wasn't supposed to go this time. I was supposed to go about a month ago, but because I was sick that day, they let me go this time. The best part was right after lunch, when Sara, Louise, Bethany, and I hiked in the rain. We saw a salamander! I've never seen one of those in the wilderness before. But it was resting in the mud in the trail and then climbed lazily over a mound of mud mush, swam through a narrow foggy puddle, and came out the other side to begin his journey up the hill. He was an orange brown color and very cute!

The thing that was kind of funny was, I usually am not excited to go hiking. But i realized today that that is probably because my mom always makes us go on very hot, sunny days, when all the mosquitos and gnats are out, preparing themselves to begin their purpose of existance - to bother the crap out of you. But I truly think that rain is one of the most beautiful things in the world, so that changes the whole thing for me. Especially when you can do it with friends. Though Bethany was kind of annoying me because she kept making arguments about the smallest things. Otherwise, today, there was no sun to bother me, nor too many bugs buzzing around your head. The forest was just beautiful. The leaves were glistening with droplets of water, which rolled down the leaves and fell in large drops onto the earth, or occasionally, your head. And the mud made fun squishy noises. The whole thing made me so happy. Sara, Louise, and I started skipping on the way back, chanting "I do believe in faeries! I do! I do!". Haha it was fun. But the whole thing seemed so short.
By the time we got back to the main gathering place, Sara and I at least, were soaked.

Thinking back on that almost makes me sad that I feel the need to make another political statement. Ah, oh well. For those that are tired of them, you don't need to read it. Though I would appreciate it if you did.

...

Well, I can't find any of the quotes that I wanted to, so this will be relatively short. Anyway, apparently the radical left wing people have gone too far with a lot of this bush hating stuff. It saddens me, that people can hate someone so much. Especially since they are so loud about it. To other countries, we must seem like idiots. It not only shows that our leader is most likely a bad man, it gives a bad name to Americans as well, because it shows that we have no trust in him what-so-ever, when we were the ones that voted for him. We really don't need people disliking us more than they do.
And knowing media in general, when other countries hear about America and their opinion on their leader, that's probably all the news they hear. They hear the bad things. For example, you rarely ever seen headlines in the newspaper such as: "Mongolia Cheers for their new leader, who did this and this and this" As opposed to headlines like: "Mongolians unhappy about their new leader." Maybe it would be news stating that a new leader has been elected, but after that unless the person had a brilliant idea that is affecting our country as well as the other ones, you usually hear negative things about it. And knowing how many protests we have and how uttterly viscious we are towards our own president, other countries will read about how we hate our leader and how bad of a man he is. They then will get the impression that our leader is a bad man and that the people in the country he is the leader of are stupid for putting him into office. It reflects badly on everyone in the country.
I'm hearing things now that they are comparing him to Adolf Hitler, and I am sick and tired of things like this. I think it's terrible to call someone like that when in reality he is nothing like that man. If president Bush were really that terrible of a man, we would have had enough sense to get him out of office. It's despicable, really. I heard quotes from them going off on the radio while in the car, and I truly was disgusted on how cruel and stupid we can be. It is pointless to hate someone so much and be blinded by that hate that everything he does further is a stupid idea and makes him a terrible man, even before the accuser sees the outcome of his plan. Or, they shoot down his ideas and curse him for them without any better ideas of their own. They don't give the man a chance. The guy's plans so far have not been a complete failure. We've liberated over 50, 000 people so far. Different countries have decided to go to democracies.
The man is not Satan. He is not pure evil. And he is most definitely nothing compared to Adolf Hitler.
Not to mention many of the same old arguments are being brought up over and over again. "He made tax cuts for the rich! Is that fair?!" Yes. Yes, it is fair. Rich people pay the vast majority of the taxes in America, while middle and poor classes hardly make up any of it. So, to these people that have worked hard to get a good job and become successful, instead of living off of wellfare and having kids just to get more money from it, yes, they deserve to be given a break. I could go on and on about this, but I don't really want to.

Another thing that is sad that i heard is that there is this sixteen year old girl who was given a date rape drug when she was fourteen and then raped while unconcious. The boy that did it to her was not convicted of anything because a senator or something of whatever state she is in thinks that it can't really be considered rape because she was unconscious at the time, therefore it was not technically by force. The thing is, the boy did it once before. And to a twelve year old girl. He's eighteen now, and his record is clean.

I heard a clip from the girl telling why she wanted him to be punished, and it makes perfect sense to me. She said, through many tears, that it was like a loop-hole. If that rule stays, anyone can rape anyone as long as they are unconscious and not get in trouble for it. It makes me very mad to hear that the woman person that is not letting this be charged as rape is doing something like that. I think that if she were raped, she would want the guy to be in trouble for it too.

My grandpa's been having heart problems again. My mommy is worried. Now I'm worried.

2 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 27 April :: 9.39pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Third Eye Blind - God of Wine

Heh.. and I wrote:
"I hope we can still be friends and this isn't gonna be some "oh-crap-i-see-you-in-the-hallway-must-avert-eyes" kinda deal."

So much for that. Whatever.

Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 25 April :: 10.08pm

I never put these things in my journal, but I will today.

01. who are you, what's our relationship:
02. how and where did we meet:
03. what's my middle name:
04. how long have you known me:
05. tell me one good thing about myself:
06. when you first saw me what was your impression:
07. my age:
08. birthday:
09. my favorite band at the moment:
10. color of eyes:
11. do i have any siblings:
12. have you ever had a crush on me:
13. what's one of my favorite things to do:
14. do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you:
15. describe me in 3 words:
16. name 5 things i love:
17. do you think i'm good looking:
18. how would you describe me to someone:
19. would you ever date me:
20. tell me one thing you've always wanted to say to me but never did:
21: what do you like most about me:
22: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
23: have we ever gotten in a fight:
24: do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years:
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
26. What do you think my weakness is?
27. Do you think I'll get married?
28. What makes me happy?
29. What makes me sad?
30. What reminds you of me?
31. If you could give me anything what would it be?
32. When's the last time you saw me?
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
35. Are you going to put this on your xanga and see what I say about you?
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
39. Would you make a move on me?
40. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day?

1 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 25 April :: 9.32pm
:: Mood: hurt
:: Music: Third Eye Blind - The Background

I just can't make up my mind about how I feel. I'm just angry. This is probably going to be the last post about this because I'm not going to get caught up in this. But today I was so happy and I was just pissed off and didn't care about him. But then people bring to my attention how much time and energy I've wasted. That I've gotten nothing out of this. And he's not concerned at all. That's what bothers me the most. He doesn't need to run away from me. That's about the wimpiest thing a guy has ever done. I'm not trying to beg for you back. I mean what do you think? I wanted to say I wanted to be his friend, and be there for him and shit. But.. I don't know now if he doesn't want to even look at me. Like.. I didn't do anything. It pisses me off. I'm done with worrying about this because I've got the greatest friends on earth. So that's about it. Well here's the song I told Ben I'd put in here. It doesn't really relate to anything. I'm just learning it on the guitar sort of.

Third Eye Blind - The Background Lyrics
Read more..

Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 22 April :: 4.06pm
:: Mood: numb
:: Music: Third Eye Blind

So I guess he just couldn't commit. He's not the right guy for me. But I will miss it.
I think I'm okay now. I'm kinda mad though, cuz I made this big long list on woohu that I was gonna privitize anyway of all the stupid reasons I didn't like him anymore. It ended up being kinda funny. Andrea and I would have a good laugh if it hadn't gotten DELETED! arrg. whatever.
This really isn't explaining how I feel.
It would have been cool if he had told me what was bugging him.
I'm sorry I'm not "fun" and that I'm "happy in the morning". I bet you had a field day when I cried this morning. I'm glad I've finally made you smile. We really could have talked this out. You're missing out, Josh. You're not a good breaker-upper. Way to let me down really hard a week after I thought it was going really well.
I know you'll never read this, but I still care about you. And if you ever need somebody, I'm still here.
I'm completely pathetic. I'm going to go puke. I was wondering if I should jump out my window. That would be fun. Straight into the pool. I wonder which would kill me first? Impact or suffocation? I'm sorry I said that. I wouldn't do it. I'm just being emotional.
But ya know what bugs me? I left 1st hour because I was upset and didn't wanna be all upset in front of the whole world. So I came back 4th hour in time for lunch so that I could talk to Josh about it. I was telling myself that I was so tough for coming back. So, so tough. But really, I'm a wimp. I'm a stupid wimp for caring that much to talk to him. I still want to talk to him, but I'm not gonna go beg for him back. I guess there just had to be one time in my life that I have to learn that I can't love hard. I loved too much and he was just looking for a damn fling. I'll definetly be okay in time. I refuse to get myself sick over this. I'm drinking orange juice. lol. Whenever I get upset I get ill. But this isn't gonna do it. Sigh..-hence the reason I haven't been sick all that time I was going out with Josh. I wasn't upset.- ugg. And he doesn't care. So. I need to shut up. One day he's gonna look back and wonder why he ditched such a good girl. I'm a good girl. Maybe that's just not what he's into. So I guess he'll never regret it. Nevermind.
I hope we can still be friends and this isn't gonna be some "oh-crap-i-see-you-in-the-hallway-must-avert-eyes" kinda deal. I still care about him.
I'm an idiot. I really hate myself. I must be a damn moron for him to only last 2 months w/ me. I'm being dumb. I'm done with this entry.

5 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 20 April :: 7.32pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Blink 182 - Stockholm Syndrome

This is making me completely sick to my stomach. It's sad I still don't know exactly what's going on, and I act like it's nothing.

Andrea, I don't know where you are right now, but I tried calling you like 5 times. I kinda need somebody to talk to...

1 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 19 April :: 5.38pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Seether/Amy Lee - Broken

I have a problem with over-analyzing things.

1 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 8 April :: 7.32pm
:: Mood: shocked
:: Music: John Mayer

Who else is disgusted?

www.bonsaikitten.com

...kittiessssss..... :'(

3 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 3 April :: 6.29pm
:: Mood: refreshed
:: Music: Greenwheel - Breathe

So I'm in Florida. We got here 4 hours late because of a four hour traffic jam in Cordelle, Georgia. It was crazy. There were people getting out of their cars and talking to other people and getting out to pee in the bushes and such. It was gross. So we got here at midnight. Now my dad's gone so im online but i probably have to get off soon. My sentences suck in this journal. It is warm. I think I got sunburned. :) It's nice. I miss you guys. Me and Josh's 2 month is tomorrow. It will be cool... cept i won't be there... :( See ya'll soon.

"And home is a feeling I've buried in you."
-Greenwheel

1 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 31 March :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Third Eye Blind - I Want You

So I'm going to Florida tomorrow.
There's no mailbox. It sucks. I'm gonna miss everybody. I hope we have fun.
The talent show was disappointing. There were good singers but it wasn't as much fun as Middle School. I'm gonna try out for it next year. Play my acoustic. It will be bomb. I can't bring my guitar w/ me to Florida. I will miss Jasmine. :( And Andrea. And Josh.
I don't think I'm prepared to go. I know that I'm forgetting a lot of stuff, but I can't think of what it is. Pretty much all I've packed so far are clothes.
So send me emails because I'll probably be bored with nothing but my clothes. What can you do w/ clothes? Maybe I'll go streaking. ahaha.. No. I'll see you when I get back. I'm determined to have fun...

1 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


LoupGarou

:: 2005 24 March :: 10.48pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: So Close - Evanescence

Power and things like that

Gen.ius
-
1. a. Extraordinary intellectual and creative power.
b. A person of extraordinary intellect and talent.
c. A person who has an exceptionally high intelligence quotient, typically above 140 IQ.
2. a. A strong natural talent, aptitude, or inclination.
b. One who has such talent or inclination.



What do people think of when they think of the word "genius"? Albert Einstein, most likely. The man was indeed someone very intelligent. So intelligent that he couldn't even memorize his own phone number. But who are the other geniuses?
I want to bring up some points that I need to get out, not because I want people to agree with me, but because I at least want people to understand where I am coming from. Here I have the freedom to argue it more viciously than I allowed myself to in the discussion I had about this with someone. I asked six different people who they thought of when they heard the word: "genius".
4 - Einstein
1 - Steven Hawkings
1 - Mizuno Ami (Sailor Mercury)

Then I asked them if Abraham Lincoln was a genius:
- "ya. he signed the emancipation proclamation and helped point to the direction of civil liberties for all."
- "i guess lol"
- "Hai!"
- "Yeah"
- "no, just a good pres"
- "no"

And one more. Was Hitler a genius?:
- "Yes indeedy!"
- "yep"
- "yes"
- "yeah"
- "I guess.. but i dont consider him as... i think he's juss nuts.. and crazy."
- "no"

Now you are probably wondering where the hell I am going with this. Most people, when asked, as shown, immediately think of Einstien when they think of a "genius". But Einstein is only one type of genius. He is a genius IQ wise. Opinions vary when it comes to other people. If you asked someone if Einstein was a genius, almost everyone who knew who he was would say "yes."
But what about people without scientific smarts? What about people with a vision? The person I was discussing this with which has now given me the urge to talk about it in here, stated that they believed that Hitler was not a genius, and most people don't think someone such as Walt Disney was a genius because when they think of the definition they think of someone who was smart and that hitler was a "stupidass" or a crazy person.
People who aren't smart, however, can be geniuses just the same. Abraham Lincoln accomplished some great things in his presidency, but his education wasn't nearly at the level as someone's like Einstein's. Because of his accomplishements, and because he had a vision, he has gone down into the world as someone who kept his eyes on those dreams and accomplished them. Whether he personally accomplished them, such as going into battle and personally defeating the enemy is not the case, it's that he had the dream to do it and hired sufficient people to take care of the job for him. What he couldn't do himself, he found people who could.
"There is no such thing as a genius in the sense of animation." Walt Disney created the first full length animated feature film in the history of the world - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. For the movie Bambi, he had deer brought in, not trapped, to the studio so that the animators could study the way they moved and the way they looked. He discovered Julie Andrews. He had the vision to create an amusement park completely different than any ever before. By doing these things he advanced animation like no one before, including entertainment and its whole new form, and created something completely new for entertainment.
And people can still say that there was no genius involved in that.
On the issue of Hitler being a dumb as psychotic nutjob, that he was. But he was a genius. Anyone that can convice a good part of Germany and Europe that his ideal vision for his country included torture, experiments, and ethnic cleansing in general has got to be one clever man.
A person can be a genius without being a good person. After all, don't we often hear about the villain in a story being an evil genius? My point is, I suppose, that people can be considered a genius without them actually being a smart person academically. There are geniuses of different types everywhere. J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkein, C.S. Lewis are all geniuses of literature. Alfred hitchcock of horror films, and Steven Spielberg of films in general. Martin Luther King Junior was a genius. Jhonen Vasquez is a genius ^.^
I guess I wanted to try to explain this whole thing better, but i got distracted and my thoughts became chopped up. But I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Geniuses aren't always people that are smart, they are people that pursue a vision that they have.

5 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 22 March :: 4.20pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Maria Mena - You're The Only One

Ok yeah. I feel really dumb now. But I don't think it's my fault... right?

Shed Your Light


shannonw55

:: 2005 21 March :: 7.39pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: The Killers - Mr. Brightside

How do you do the "read more" link thing?

6 Illuminated My Path | Shed Your Light

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