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2007 21 December :: 1.40pm
you know, i'm kind of with lindsay on this one.
this is a time for togetherness and love and going out and doing fun stuff.
and when you don't have anyone to have that with, it's a royal pain in the heart.
however, the difference between my situation and the majority of everybody else's, is that i could have had that, and i decided to let it go.
not that i'm regretting the decision. i know i did the right thing. it's just that more difficult to deal with, knowing that i only have myself to blame.
5 People gave me |
lovin'
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eddy
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2007 21 December :: 8.22am
I'm getting sick of seeing really beautiful sunrises and not being able to take pictures of them. I wish my camera were more portable.
This one was positively Apocalyptic. I wonder why that attracts me so?
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2007 14 December :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: pink floyd - animals
i really like this album a lot. i always have. and somehow it always helps me.
but it doesn't change the fact that i'm sitting in my apartment, now half-empty, waiting for nothing to happen; just as i have been for the past couple of days.
i got a C on my last abelard and heloise paper. my botany professor was not in her office, so i still don't know how i did on my mistletoe paper. i'm not very optimistic though. but i suppose i did alright on the exam, and that should help make up for it.
there's a bunch of cleaning to be done here, but i really don't want to do it.
i can't decide if i want to get out of here and escape from it all for awhile, or if i want to laze around and wallow in it. i don't have any good food here though. i really want some good food, some good company, and just something to make things different than they have been for the past week or so.
yep. and starving kids in africa want food. but just because you want something, doesn't mean you'll get it.
8 People gave me |
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2007 13 December :: 1.23pm
exams are over. the semester is over. nearly twenty-one years of my life are over. nearly 2008 years have passed since the institution of that which is currently referred to as the common era.
and mostly i'm just tired. i'm sexy, sitting here with my shirtless, pajama-pantsed self, waiting for the next thing to happen. mostly, i'm just trying to figure out what that next thing is, and what i need to do to prepare for it.
edit:
and you know what the worst part is? i'm more than halfway done with college (62.5%, to be exact), and yet i feel as though i'm almost farther from my destination now than i was when i started. i know that's not true, but that's how it feels.
and i know that in the end it'll be over faster than i ever could have realized, and i'll wish it wasn't gone. but right now it just seems so oppressive and eternal, and - horribly - completely useless. i can't help but have this notion that i'm going to graduate and get some job that i could have gotten with a high school diploma, that has nothing at all to do with my major, and be utterly content for all of existence.
i suppose it's not a bad ending. but there's a very expensive extra half-decade thrown in there somewhere.
3 People gave me |
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eddy
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2007 13 December :: 12.16pm
This is the seventh time I've watched it, in about a week.
And counting!
<3
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2007 12 December :: 10.52pm
OK . so .. i think i just figured it out. As long as I get at least a 50% my next test and a 75% on my paper and a 60 on my final... ummm wow that's horrible. well then i think i will pass.
SHIT i suck. that class just kicked my ass so bad but i swear it was so stupid. seriously. we were the guinea pigs for that class. the teacher was brand new. the book was WAY too advanced. the teacher said they are definitly getting a different book for next semester and that the book is way too advanced it is for people who are actually going to be cell biologists and it is just way too hard and our entire grade was based on only the tests. i hate that because it's like you get 5 little chances and if you do bad at all on any of the tests it brings your grade wayyyyy down. the only thing i'm hoping helped my grade was my paper and i'm not even too sure about that. i just know i need to study hard for my exam because it is all answers from past tests. seriously i'm going to memorize those answers and get 100 percent. i'm going to my moms house and studying the entire day as long as she will help me. ALL next week that is what i'm doing . mark my words lol
1 People gave me |
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2007 12 December :: 10.38pm
i wanna go see that guys light show that he made. someone take me. and while you're at it...
oh nevermind... maybe it's at the whitecaps thing i thought it was at his house.
while you're at it take me to japan.
everytime i start thinking that i shouldn'tbe a nurse and that it isn't for me i talk to my mom and she makes me feel like i'll be good at it or that i can at least pass the school. i'm not stupid but i'm not brilliant. i duno. she always makes me not want to quit. i feel like i would disappoint my parents if i quit and it's not like i have something else wonderful in mind and my college is free so i might as well keep going... right?
i had to write this will thing for my online class and I gave my money and our cats to Roman and my car to Brandon and that was pretty much it... hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
tomorrow i have my last test and then next week i have two exams and then two online class exams that should be pretty easy. Only one really hard exam. I just hope i pass cell biology or I will be screwed and sad. ughghhghghgh i hope i get 100 on the paper i wrote. then i wont be as worried
i just called my phone company because i wanted to add text messaging and they wont let me because roman's name is the one on the account the FCC just changed their rules that sucks because usually i am the one who takes care of all that stuff. I call and fix stuff when it gets messed up, i pay the bills through my account and then roman just writes me checks for his half. like i do EVERYTHING and then now i can't even have control over it. it is understandable but still it sucks.
i really should be studying.
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd. i duno. we almost got another cat tonight. we are like...obsessed with cats. we are freaks.
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2007 11 December :: 12.04am
:: Mood: flusterated
:: Music: our refrigerator
my terrible memory
i feel like someone wanted to hang out tomorrow night, but i don't remember who. there's also the german club christmas party happening at the same time.
and i have my two "hard" exams.
sometimes i suck at life, just a little. it's not like hardcore suckage, it's more along the lines of moderate.
6 People gave me |
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2007 10 December :: 1.05am
i just turned in the shittiest paper in the world. via email. half an hour late.
...
yep. pretty sure i just nabbed myself a C in botany.
on the plus side, i should do semi-okay everywhere else.
that and i don't have to write any more fucking papers for at least a month.
no really, the shittiest. in the world. paper.
Edit:
1 - i'm enjoying the sudden popularity that my journal has been experiencing. i think it has something to do with a general increasing trend in the overall woohu traffic.
2 - emo philips is currently on my journal header. i like it.
2 People gave me |
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2007 8 December :: 3.05pm
There's a penny on the ground, and it's sporting a frown while it's raining outside.
There's another one around, facing neither up nor down, because it is worth two points.
if you were playing horseshoes.
8 People gave me |
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