canceled my hair cut yesterday since it was it was my last opportunity to be alone before Mike gets here. I'm already exhausted just thinking about all the social interaction I'll be having while he's here.

then I think about the rest of my life, and wonder if maybe I should try to be more social or risk regretting these years as wasted since I'm young and free currently.

and then I think "fuck it" and remain antisocial, because a lot of the time being alone is just so fantastic. I think the part I love the most is nobody expects me to talk. it's just so nice, not feeling pressured to participate in a conversation. not needing to think of something interesting or relevant to say. not worrying whether I'm being boring or sounding stupid or something. I really hate talking. I like listening. hate talking.

I'm not even sure why I hate it so much. I haven't had a negative experience involving me talking in quite a while, so what makes me dread it so much? no clue. but here's to hoping someday it goes away!

3 friends | friend?