toki
|
::
2005 29 January :: 3.39pm
:: Mood: bored
I feel very black. Haha. No really. I'm wearing all black right now. For my self portraits. Hoping these will be cool. I left my costumes in Jill's car. Doh. So I can't use those now. :-( Makes me sad. But I'll be okay. My cat and dog are fighting now. Haaa. Stupid stupid dog. The cat won. Woo!
I now have 3 big bruises on my knee. And one on my arm. It hurts like H E double hockey stick. Or Hell. But swearing is bad. Tehehe. I just drew a square on a piece of paper. Haha. I am so exciting.
The little Key-sta(s?) might see Phantom tomorrow. Much Woopage.
Diantha two is working today. So hopefully she'll be gone by the time I get there. Argh, this new girl is the most annoying person ever. Think Shay. Then make Shay a 23 year old who can't add 6 and 4. Gahr. And I had to train her on box. My drawer was $9.50 off. -.- I feel bad for everyone working this morning with her.
Hol-ey Heeeelll. I'm bored. I don't want to work tonight. I'm working box with Brian. And yeah. Ryan thought(thinks?) I had (have?) a thing for Brian. Which I don't. But yeah. It's weird.
I have to go into work 30 minutes early.
You don't know how much I am kicking myself for not being able to drive. Urggggh.
I'm really tired now. Good night. I wish.
-Patrice
1 people are in a Solitary Shell |
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
|
mudpiegrl
|
::
2005 22 January :: 7.40pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: bzz
i hate parents friends everyone
my mother is so mean. she came up to give me something from elaine and steve (so of course, she was drunk) and she started bitching about how my rooms a fucking disaster and all that shit.
well great, i said. if you dont like it then get out of it. you dont have to come in here, and neither does anyone else. its like that story nipple jesus. not to mention the fact that i dont like that she talks to herself, yet she continues to do so, saying "if you dont like it, dont listen." so i told her that. i also asked what, other than my room being a mess, what else is she not proud of me for.
she said my grades, which ill let you know is the thing that pissed me off the most. i really went ape after that. how could she say that? all shes ever wanted was B's and now i have B's and now "it's too late". how could she ever say that. what a great encouragement to get me wanting to succeed in college.
once i go away, i will not send her my grades. i will not tell her how i am doing. in fact, i doubt that i will do much talking to her at all unless she is sober.
the other things that have been pissing me off is her with gail. okie great she has friends. she spends loads of time on the phone with gail and then she hangs up and goes over to elaines. okie thats all fine and whatever, even though its a pain to wait for dinner sometimes. but the other day i came home after spending two whole hours with jen (and mushroom) and she asked where i was and i told her. "god you're always with jen....jen, jen, jen". where the hell does she get off saying that now?!? i havent hung out with jen in forever and she's supposed to be my best friend! not to mention the fact that shes allowed to but im not? what the hell.
oh. and another thing about gail. well they talk so often that now their kids lives are like trading cards and they compare everything. so shaun got a job at a pet store; shaun got a $4,000 scholarship; shaun got put up a rank in his ROTC; shaun got all A's this semester; shaun thinks latin's hard; shaun got a 26 on his ACT.
oh thats nice shaun. seeing as you are clearly prouder of shaun than of me, how about you go live with him. ill live by myself, which, by the way, i am not mature enough to do according to her. oh, im also not expirienced enough to drive in the snow, but mother how can i get expirience if im not allowed out of the house when it snows?!?
all i wanted for christmas was a coat and shoes and shampoo and conditioner.
they told me to ask for more and got me an mp3 player and now i cant get my wisdom teeth pulled. im mad taht im such a burden money-wise, but i would think two jobs could help that. i dont ask for money to eat out; i dont ask for money for anything petty. i asked for it for all state but i wont ask for this show shirt. i wont ask for anything that i cant handle. im trying to buy a new computer before graduation. ill ask for a college education if they ask me what i want. that and my wisdom teeth pulled.
oh, damn. im complaining again.
you'd think the people who supposedly love you would be a tad more supportive.
i hate people. hermitism it is for me.
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
|
|
mudpiegrl
|
::
2005 19 January :: 8.53pm
:: Mood: not so happy
:: Music: bzzz
so i dont know whether i want to put this in or not now.
im excited for brian to respond. i just asked him if he was busy on the twelvth, but still, my question depends on his answer...funny how that works.
so im mad. first of all the highlight of my day, as ive told many people, is the fact that on the consumer management final i knew what per capita meant because "caput" means "head" in latin. so therefore, per capita means per person, or literally, per head. sad really, that it was the most exciting part of my day.
i realised that my parents are ridiculously irresponsible with their money. i cant get my wisdom teeth pulled until april (they really hurt) because my mum has to wait for tax returns. my dad said i cant go to a college that costs much cuz we cant afford it.
all good and well i would say...if only our house wasnt worth so much...and we didnt have a BMW in the garage next to the motorcycle. he has a company car that he's been driving because he fired the guy who used to drive it. so why in the world are we not using that money? gah. last time we got a big tax return, instead of using it to cover the bills and stop complaining about stuff, my parents painted the fucking house!
i think they need to take the consumer management class.
i also realised thats its odd how easily one is replaced.
i think its odd. i try to think of one item that i wouldnt give up for my friend's life. no items come to mind. i would give my own life even for someone who i dont know that well. how odd it is to say "you have made it to that level where you are more important than my guitar/all worldly possessions". i would think that friendship includes that, but then again, thats probably just me.
i also found out that im whiny, and annoyingly opinionated. somehow, that feeling that brian gave me a couple a weeks ago when he said that i was "tiny" as in width-wise is all gone now cuz hearing your friends say that.....its....well its kinda tough to take. i figure ill shut up about much now.
oh i dont know im just not doing so well. i cant stop eating which just makes me feel huge and then i weighed myself and the whole five pounds i lost a couple of weeks ago (at all state) are back and they brought five of their friends.
yes...no pity...am telling you all. i hate that. "oh im sorry...." i hate that...dont bother.
1 people are in a Solitary Shell |
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
|
|
mudpiegrl
|
::
2005 18 January :: 3.36pm
:: Mood: envious
:: Music: "the nightmare before xmas"
hm...
so...twice now ive been told that im more important than worldly possessions. doesnt that make me feel good? hmm...
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
|
|
mudpiegrl
|
::
2005 2 January :: 3.50pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: incubus
finally on!
woo. my computer downstairs isnt working and ive been wanting to write in here but too lazy to come upstairs.
so...finishing portfolio. tmro is loading day and then i leave yay!
new years sucked. just like xmas. neil was drinking....yea la de da cuz im not with him. but i have a feeling he was lying to me when he was at school.
so that sucked.
and i didnt do anything...that sucked too
oh well...
you know those time when you feel like you just need a week away from it all.
i actually get it this time.
yay.
okie...portfolio so i can get into college time.
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
|
sweetyas
|
::
2004 29 December :: 1.02am
:: Mood: Amazingly chipper
:: Music: silence
My grandma's will ~~i know doesnt make sense with my mood
My grandma and i were working on her will yesterday cuz she was going to go on hajj. i must say i made the experiance much better, we had fun. When she read it to me the first time i started to cry, i mean i love i cant imagine not living with out her. i mean i met her in 2001 i havent really had enough time with her, adn she went ot iraq for wat 2 years of the time ive known her its weird. i dunno i told her to put a house in my name but she sorta wouldnt. but she did write in her will that if people were unhappy with teh descisions then i could change them. i was entertaining.
i worked on biology labs over break. omg thats a first for me. but i almost finished the first one and it only took about 3.5 hours. yea im screwed and i have five of these. it saddens me.
love y'all
yasamin
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
|
sandatthebeach
|
::
2004 27 December :: 1.28am
I hate not being able to do anything...other than sit here and wait. I'm being pretty vague. Basically in this journal, I write whenever I wanna post something that I don't want to in my Xanga mainly because that's more public than this one. I figured people (referring to the general public) has given up on reading this one because I hardly update it as opposed to my Xanga which is updated almost daily (for the most part).
It kind of sucks when you want to do something but you can't. Because it's not right. As much as it sucks for me, there's one thing for sure....I will always respect the existence of someone's boy/girlfriend. Basically, I will never try to rip apart one's relationship because of my own selfish desires. I'm really quite hopeless...and I feel too stupid to tell anyone what it is that I'm thinking.
As time passes, I find myself keeping my mouth shut about how I feel about my personal issues. I mean, I love it when people talk to me about what's going on in their heads...I'm more grateful that they trust me. It's just, I feel like such a dumbass because I don't know what to say back without trying to relate to myself. And that's why I'm such a bad conversationalist. I don't know what to say. In response, I usually start with "well, with me..." 'shut the hell up, Sandy. The situation's not about you so stop trying to make the conversation revolve around you', I tell myself.
But at the same time, I wanna tell someone how I feel or what I'm thinking because I've reviewed it so many times in my head and it just sounds stupid and immature......and desperate. I have these questions that I want to ask but I don't because I don't want to sound conceited or selfish.
I don't want to go back to school. I feel like such a failure right now and I'm so worried I'm not going to get into college and stuff (which, by the way, is the only thing I ever talk about now to people).
I need to shut up and get some sleep. My throat is gradually becoming worse and me staying up isn't doing it much good.
I'll take the day off tomorrow....I was gonna do some homework, clean my room, study for finals......I'm gonna just sleep and bake cookies with the cookie dough that Pa-Trice got me :-) Holy mother and a crapcake....she and her mommy gave me a huge ass tub of cookie dough. When Pa-Trice told me that she going to give me cookie dough, I thought it was going to be in one of the Ziploc baggies....enough to make like 5 cookies. Nope....I can make like a billion now. So cookie baking party at my house....Anyone...Anyone???
Always, Sandy
2 people are in a Solitary Shell |
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
|
|
sweetyas
|
::
2004 27 December :: 10.29pm
Random
YASAMIN |
|---|
Y |
is for |
Yummy |
A |
is for |
Articulate |
S |
is for |
Snarky |
A |
is for |
Animated |
M |
is for |
Musical |
I |
is for |
Insane |
N |
is for |
Nervy |
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
|
|
toki
|
::
2004 25 December :: 4.43pm
I don't want to work right now.......:-(
I just want to be lazy.
I already worked a 13 hour day this weeeeek.
Why me?
Why christ-a-mas??
:-(
Sad.
I'll tell more about yesterday and today later. Despite impending doom of work, it's been a good two days. ;-)
-Patrice
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
|
|