sweetyas
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2008 10 March :: 12.10am
:: Mood: stupid
:: Music: Quite library noise
I don't know...
so, sometimes i wish the world would make sense. I want the guy i like to like me and the guys that shouldn't like me to go away! its easy right!?!?!? I don't know what happened today...i just acted stupid. I mean i wanted to cuddle just not with him...at all! now, i opened pandora's box and have to deal with that stupid drama! Grr. I really should write my paper but i don't know, i just feel stupid and used!
I don't know whats wrong with my dumbass...i need to get out and get away...maybe i will plan a weekend extravaganza to somewhere!! :) i need a trip...ill probably end up going to Wisconsin...not exciting.
How to fix my life:
1. write paper
2. figure out car situation
3. talk to stupid boy
4.write second paper
5.do presentation
6. take out trash
7. make dentist appt.
8. get NEW contacts!!!!
9. tell theresa the website
10.start studying for the 2 tests on thursday!
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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toki
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2008 20 February :: 9.30am
:: Mood: rushed
:: Music: Going Through the Motions- Bufffy!
Hi.
I'm pretty tired. Pretty much done with life.
I had to shoot portraits for my class today. I'm terrible at portraits. Like, so terrible that I might as well not go to class today. That and I still have to go to Calumet to buy paper to print these portraits and then get to school by noon to print then get to the art institute by 1 to meet my class. Afterwards, I'm coming home and eating a tasty salad, which will be my only food all day other than a slim fast. And then it's time to make 7 web pages. Then, somewhere between there, I have to get 5 shots for photojournalism. Yeah. Then I plan on dying. But only after Thursday. Because that's when a lot of stuff is due.
Only good news- buying my new iMac tomorrow. Yay. Tomorrow is the day I officially sell out and give into the world of mac.
Sorry, I know everyone is stressed out, but that's why I'm whining here so no one will read it. ;-)
Aight, I have to go wake Ryan up so he can get ready and drive me to Calumet. Because he's awesome like that.
I wish I lived in Buffy world. And I could be best friends with them and fight demons and talk all witty and stuff. Or I wish it was summer already so I could dye my hair red and pretend I'm Willow.
Poop- definitely in a mood today.
1 people are in a Solitary Shell |
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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toki
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2008 27 January :: 11.49pm
I just made a huge batch of uber chocolatey brownies. Which, of course, screws up my whole diet. I also did not work out today. Which is also very against what I am trying to do. I also did not do any laundry and did not clean the litter box or Sun's tank. All of these things should make me feel like a complete and total failure. They don't. I am enjoying the chocolatey goodness of my brownies and the amazing feeling that you get after spending an entire day on your ass watching television.
Anyways, I start school tomorrow. And I asked them to bump up my hours at work. Meaning after today, I will have no sit on my ass days left. Sad. Very very sad. That and my feet hurt really bad. And my shoulders and back and legs. God damn freaking working out.
Actually, I am very proud of the fact that three times last week I worked myself as hard as I could. It feels good. I mean, it was only 20 minutes each time. And I'm still a total fat ass. Still need to lose 20-30 pounds. But I'm three workout sessions closer, yes?....I guess.
Blech. Waiting for Ryan to get home so I can see him for 30 seconds before he takes a shower and goes to bed. Fun.
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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mudpiegrl
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2008 17 January :: 10.37pm
So I'm only writing in here so much cuz I seem to be missing friends, but mainly a roommate who I can just spew thoughts to.
I'm excited about this show, Scorched, because he wants something big and unrealistic, and we have an awesome budget for it. I'm worried that, like all the things I get super excited about, it's going to fall short or something will be retracted and I'll end up disappointed...again.
I'm pretty sick of that happening, actually. I don't mind going day to day with nothing exciting, though I'd probably whine there was nothing interesting. But it would be nice if the things that excite me so much that I tell everyone I see did not fall through so when they ask how it went, I don't have to embarressingly admit that it acutally didn't happen at all.
I can finally pay for school, so I can finally register this week, thank god.
1 people are in a Solitary Shell |
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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mudpiegrl
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2008 8 January :: 1.08pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: The Dryer
I don't know what i'm doing. i might not go to school next semester because of money and that means no lasers like i promised faith and no shows like i said i'd work on. i also can't pay rent. i hate myself for that. and also for doing whatever it is that i did wrong. i shouldn't be this affected, logically, being only a week, but it still stings to the point where i'm doing anything to avoid thinking about it. i've watched more movies the last three days than i have in all of the semester put together. it's easier.
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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mudpiegrl
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2007 15 December :: 11.39pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: the refrigerator
::edit:: whenever i make plans period, they fall apart.
and then i'm disappointed...big surprise.
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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sweetyas
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2007 10 December :: 11.31am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Michael Buble: kissing a fool
That stupid boy
I don't know how i got myself into this horrible awkward situation with this stupid boy. But it goes something like this: he dated my good friend, they broke up, they dated again, they broke up & we hung out....we both liked eachother (but didn't do anything b/c of her), this year we kissed, the next day he says your roommate is going to be pissed...they had something going on before hand, earlier that month they started(like they were kissing and perhaps relationship potential). I dont hang out with him & sorta get over him. Things go back to normal ( i dont like him & stay away from him still b/c im nice & think my roommate forgave me for kissing him, even though, i didnt know anything was going on at the time)
My roommate turns into a psycho bitch...really psycho bitch calling him 5 times a day!! She finally snapped @ me (she was intoxicated), she said she couldn't trust me & basically couldn't believe i wasn't a mind reader and should have known that there was something going on. It pisses me off, so i stop playing nice. i go back to the way me and the boys friendship used to be (it was always a lil flirty and so i let it be, no hurtful intentions just i am allowed to be friends with him and act normal). He has a party at our place and spends the entire time hitting on me (she was there!!) he tries to kiss me a couple of times and sends really really cute text messages. I like him again (prior to the party, but i didn't kiss him or really flirt back, he apologized/asked if i was upset later cause he knew he had fucked up with me). She broke up with him the next morning.
I like him...
he likes me...
she hasn't really talked to me or told me anything...
she has been crying & doesnt want me to know...
this is really hard!!
I am not allowed to ever do anything with him ever, right?? But, i really want to kiss him again and go out on dates....
I dont know how to get over him, how do u get over a boy??
I hate this!!
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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mudpiegrl
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2007 9 December :: 12.52am
It has been forever since I've written in here.
For everyone else, too, I checked.
I just need to vent about boys, I guess. It's easier to have my mind on that than the fact that I'll probably fail all my classes.
Why is it when I am bold enough to make plans with guys I'm interested in, they blow up at me? And why do I keep falling for everyone?
First was Whit in the summer from Redmoon.
Then it was sort of Mark
Then sort of Charlie
and now Axel (Frank) for sure.
Couldn't tell you why. But it'd be nice to actually have something come out of it.
A relationship, maybe.
It's probably the thing I need most right now. Despite how close Faith and I are, I know she'll find someone more interesting to spend all her time with and then I'll be searching for someone to grasp onto, just like always.
I know why Frank is the new one. He's playful. I miss having someone to play with. We got in a snow fight on Wednesday and he's always teasing and it's fun. I miss that.
Maybe an update later. I'm super behind in EVERYTHING!
1 people are in a Solitary Shell |
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sweetyas
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2007 3 December :: 2.56am
i want to be....empty instead of full!! i hate feelings...go the fuck away!! :(
Are you in a Solitary Shell?
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sweetyas
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2007 2 October :: 4.53pm
:: Music: Kevin Devine
Ok...so i'm supposed to be writing two papers and studying for a test...and what am i doing???
Take a wild guess!!
I am not motivated this semester to do well at ALL!! I DON'T CARE!! i have to take a bunch of bs core classes that i really don't care about...i just want the world to work!! :P
so random question ( i've been wondering the answer lately and i haven't come up with anything):
why do you wake up in the morning?? what gets you out of bed? why?
1 people are in a Solitary Shell |
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