He seemed no different from the rest Just a healthy normal boy His mama always did her best And he was daddy's pride and joy He learned to walk and talk on time But never cared much to be held and steadily he would decline Into his solitary shell As a boy he was considered somewhat odd Kept to himself most of the time He would daydream in and out of his own world but in every other way he was fine He's a Monday morning lunatic Disturbed from time to time Lost within himself In his solitary shell A temporary catatonic Madman on occasion When will he break out Of his solitary shell He struggled to get through his day He was helplessly behind He poured himself onto the page Writing for hours at a time As a man he was a danger to himself Fearful and sad most of the time He was drifting in and out of sanity But in every other way he was fine He's a Monday morning lunatic Disturbed from time to time Lost within himself In his solitary shell A momentary maniac With casual delusions When will he be let out Of his solitary shell

 

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A temporary catatonic Madman

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mudpiegrl

:: 2004 24 June :: 12.55am
:: Mood: complacent

i dont know if the mood word realy works....but it sounds smooth with a bump [the p] and ends with a snap...like my day!

neil was sweet

i wasnt feeling well...and he got me water and i told him not to kiss me so he didnt get sick and he didnt and then wehn i was leaving he told me to go to sleep early and not stay out til like midnight so you can get better...:)

aww...

1 people are in a Solitary Shell | Are you in a Solitary Shell?


sweetyas

:: 2004 24 June :: 12.40am
:: Mood: content

Work
You guys know me and myself esteem issues and how i think im a horrible butt. Well, today made me feel like im not a horrible butt. Story time. I was at the pharmacy today working(it was so SLOW) so i went to the front of the store to get something and pharmacist guy was like hey if you see a tribune cna you get it for me, and i was like yea sure (hes cool pharmacist guy). so i get it and were still slow and hes done with it so i go to put it away (yes you get all the details cuz this made me feel special) so there is a guy reading like the headlines so im like excuse me and i put in its place and walk away and then he comes behind me and like talks to me right and then i go back cuz im like ok. then i dunno he stalks the pharmacy for a bit, then i ring up some people and hes like um heres my number blah blah. so im like ha, im not htat ugly. and he wasnt like some ugly mexican 40 year old guy he was cute. So now the problem is that i have to call and him and tell him im not interested and that he shouldnt talk to me ever ever again in the pharmacy b/c me mother works there (yea i cant date or hang out with guys). Problems, so i need to be able ot say that elquoently. yea. its funny how ppls actions just make you feel better. i looked like shit today, im breaking out and i worked twice i didnt have time to liek to put on make up or even try to make me hair look nice so it was like omg i might be able to get a guy ( even if it is by going to iraq and getting any guy who wants to go to america and not blow himself up or any of that whoo haw). SO yea, thats all, ifyou guys ahve ways of saying that kindly (to the guy) tell me cuz yea.

1 people are in a Solitary Shell | Are you in a Solitary Shell?


sandatthebeach

:: 2004 22 June :: 8.19pm
:: Mood: super ass bored

more surveys to melt your brain with!!
::DO RE MEEEEEEE!!!!!!:::
Name:::Sandy Kim
Age:::according to my birthday 16 but i can be 6 or 7 or 10...depends on my mood
DOB:::February 11, 1988 remember it!
Girl or Boy:::ok I won't lie...I'm a boy...wait I mean a girl...hold on...a boy....oh fine I'm a girl...yes I'm positive!!
Freak or not Freaky:::not freaky
Hair:::I swear it's brown...if you don't believe me...come outside with me int he sun...or under the light...then tell me what color it is
Eyes:::brown....I wanted colored contacts at one point....but thought it wouldn't look right if i had blue eyes
Height:::just under 6 feet...no really...i'm under 6 feet....i'm 5'4"-5'5"
Are you really bored to take this?:::yes I am pretty bored...that's why I'm filling out surveys
Suckz for you:::well sucks you to BE you
::MAH FRIENDS!!!!!!...I think...::
Funniest?:::you
Loudest:::the person next to you
Smartest:::turn around...they're looking at you
Loudest:::me
Nicest:::you
Shyest:::you
Someone like you:::me
Best Friend:::I don't believe in best friends
Enemy:::no comment
Do you Looove::
pepsi or coke:::water or lemonade...oh fine if I had to choose pepsi
vanilla or chcocolate:::chocolate...what girl doesn't love chocolate?
condoms or candy:::candy flavored condoms...just kidding....candy
boys or girls:::"i'm not lesbian..i'm bisexual" i prefer the male gender
making out or hugs:::hugs...spit swapping makes me nausous
cellphones or internet:::er....how about a cell phone with internet? hey they got those nowadays
Harry Potter or LOTR:::HARRY POTTER!!! dude LOTR doesn't make me anti-social
me or you X ) :::us
Rock or Rap:::rock fo sho lol
this survey?:your survey
::Turbulent PASTTT!!!!::
gotten kissed?:::actually no ::blushes::
had a bf/gf?:::no...well...not really...sorta....but it didn't count....because it was...no....
drunk?:::alcohol's nasty
high?:::high on life
beaten up?:::i'll beat you up
talked to someone?:::well...at one point
was it me?o_0:::hell yeah
touched someone?:::where?
eaten?:::I eat food when I'm hungry thank you very much
::OVER OVER OVER...TURN::
it ended:::what did? your face?
did you like it?:I like you
would you come back for more?:::more of what? questions???????
did you love me at the end?:::I've loved you from the start
are you an animal lover?:::I'm not a hater
would you sign my petition:::if you sign mine
where? at www.petitiononline.com/122288R/petition.html:::or on a piece of paper
BYEEEE LOVER!!!!:::BYE DUDE!!!

DO RE MEEEEEE!!!!!!!! brought to you by BZOINK!

People have you loved?:I believe just one...otherwise none
People have you kissed?:with my virgin lips?
Commandments have you broken?:more than half
Places have you lived in (for over 3 months)?:um as in cities or houses?...for cities: 2 (Chicago and Vernon Hills) for homes: 4 i think?
Countries have you been to?:just one other...wait Niagra Falls is in Canada right? ok then 2 other countries
Languages can you speak fluently?:dos...English and Korean
People are you talking to right now?:just one...but he went away boo!
Times have you been in a car today?:oh man let's count: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6....6 times
Different kinds of meat have you eaten?:more than 3
Different kinds of liquor have you tasted?:I have never tried any kind of alcoholic beverage
Jobs you have held?:just babysitting count?
Years of school have you attended?:well you got the um...so far up to grade 10
Shows have you been to this month?:shows? this month none last month...er...1?
Friends would you call "close"?:I believe only 2

How Many.... brought to you by BZOINK!

People have you loved?:I believe just one...otherwise none
People have you kissed?:with my virgin lips?
Commandments have you broken?:more than half
Places have you lived in (for over 3 months)?:um as in cities or houses?...for cities: 2 (Chicago and Vernon Hills) for homes: 4 i think?
Countries have you been to?:just one other...wait Niagra Falls is in Canada right? ok then 2 other countries
Languages can you speak fluently?:dos...English and Korean
People are you talking to right now?:just one...but he went away boo!
Times have you been in a car today?:oh man let's count: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6....6 times
Different kinds of meat have you eaten?:more than 3
Different kinds of liquor have you tasted?:I have never tried any kind of alcoholic beverage
Jobs you have held?:just babysitting count?
Years of school have you attended?:well you got the um...so far up to grade 10
Shows have you been to this month?:shows? this month none last month...er...1?
Friends would you call "close"?:I believe only 2

How Many.... brought to you by BZOINK!

I know you just love yourself so much, this whole section is of you!
Name? I said FULL name!:Sandy Kim
where were you born? state? city?:I was born in Chicago, Illinois on February 11, 1988
Do you still live in that same place?:no I don't...I currently live in Vernon Hills, Illinois
If no, do you wan't to go back?:not really...I lived in the more suburban area of Chicago...I would love to live downtown though
Zodiac sign?:Aquarius
Are you single?:I have been for awhile
if not, who are you dating?:you
Eye color?:brown
Hair Color?:brown
is it fake?:nope
Do you have glasses?:when I'm not wearing contacts
Are you one of those kid's who don't eat meat?:I'm one of those kids who do eat meat
Are you a trouble maker in school?:Are you? I'm not...not usually....unless the teacher really likes me...then I start talking for the hell of it
Do you get good grades?:I tend to
Favorites.
color?:purple and blue
Food?:pasta!!
Boy's name?:Tyler
Girl's name?:Hm...I don't know...I can name the one's I won't name my child
Day of the week?:the one that ends with -day
Month of the year?:I'm not sure....I like August and May why? I don't know
Hour of the day?:midnight
Okay on to the "Not making any sence section"
Why are you taking this?:Why aren't you?
Is this what you concider fun?:not really...occupies free time....
What is on your desktop backround?:Linkin Park from their Numb video...I found it on lpassociation.com...you should go there too
What time is it?:time for you to get a watch
What is the last thing you ate?:brown rice and a carrot
Look around the room your in...Tell me 5 things you see?:picture of patrice, jill and wender, invitation to a party, planner, post-it notes, black pen
Guess how many stairs you have in your house?:enough to get me to the first floor, the second floor and the basement
Guess how many windows you have in your house?:enough to let the sun in
Do believe that breaking a mirror brings you 7 years of bad luck?:no...cuz I would have 14 years of bad luck now...and I don't have bad luck ALL the time
What was the last thing you laughed about?:Um...at Goli's...our rehearsal
Could you see yourself being a murderer?:no i actually can't
mumble jumbles
what animial do you think has the best life?*not humans*:dogs
why?:why not?
5 things you thought about today?:auditions, getting there on time, voice not cracking, rehearsal, what we would do during rehearsal
What are you wearing?:clothes (or just a belt )
Do you rember what your wore yesterday?:more clothes?
Do you have a best friend?:I don't believe in best friends
What is "its" name?:waht's your name?
Pick a number 1-10:5
Do you like roller costers?:sometimes
Do you play any sports?:yeah the one called theatre
What is your favorite sport to watch?:a musical
What is your favorite teams for all sports?:theatre
If the internet was sex i would be?:waht?!
Can you see yourself getting aressted?:um...maybe
Do you really think cop's sit at a desk and eat doughnuts?:no i don't
Do you crack your knucles? or any other bone in your body?:yeah....i should stop
Have you ever broken a bone?:no ::knocks on wooden desk::
Have you ever broken anyone elses bone?:nope
Have you ever been in a fight, a real fight, a fist fight?:just a verbal one
What time is it now?:time for you to get a watch
What is your IM screename?:toki358
What is your favorite candy?:something sweet....ooo sweedish fish!!!
Are you a gum chewer?:hell yeah
Have you or do you have braces?:i got them off middle of freshman year
Have you ever gotten stiches?:nope
How often do you lie, white lies count. scale 1-10 ten being a lot.:7
What is your favorie fruit:pineapples
Question 44 Did you pick 3 or 7?:no i chose 5

The Time Killer. brought to you by BZOINK!

Are you in a Solitary Shell?


mudpiegrl

:: 2004 21 June :: 3.20pm
:: Music: "Lightning Crashes"~Live

i forgot to say i played in the rain today!!!

neil burned me a whole bunch of songs

heres one of them

"Lightning Crashes"

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
her placenta falls to the floor
the angel opens her eyes
the confusion sets in
before the doctor can even close the door

lightning crashes, an old mother dies
her intentions fall to the floor
the angel closes her eyes
the confusion that was hers
belongs now, to the baby down the hall

oh now feel it comin' back again
like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
forces pullin' from the center of the earth again
I can feel it.

lightning crashes, a new mother cries
this moment she's been waiting for
the angel opens her eyes
pale blue colored eyes,
presents the circle
and puts the glory out to hide, hide

1 people are in a Solitary Shell | Are you in a Solitary Shell?


mudpiegrl

:: 2004 21 June :: 2.40pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: "Take My Picture"~Filter

last night i cried.

i cried because neils leaving...but also because of what he said to me

it made me so happy

i asked him if he thinks its possible we'll get married and he said he was thinking about it a lot too

"You're the kind of girl I want to come home to. Melanie and Sandy and all them are lots of fun to be around but you would make the house warm. Like if i came home from a long day at work and you'd be sitting the on the couch watching tv or soemthing and hearing your voice ask how my day was."


it made me cry. i feel soo loved by him.

i was thinking about my childhood and realised how horrendously forgotten i was...but i was so happy by myself being independent i didnt even notice til now.

6 people are in a Solitary Shell | Are you in a Solitary Shell?


toki

:: 2004 20 June :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: Burnt

A message from the beach
Ow. My stupid medicine stuff that makes me more able to be burnt....it sucks!!! Owwwwww! :-(

Well, I'm still at the beach. Don't get too excited. Not as bad as I imagined, but still...urgh. I don't know. I think I should just stay away from online journals. They make me want to be home more. I know I'll get back though and have to work alot and no one will want to spend time with me anyways. Whatever dudes. I'm just very....not happy right now. But that's been common on this trip. I kinda just want to sit down with someone and talk. Not about anything, but the extent of any conversation here has been "that guy is cute..." or "look at my tan..."

Ergh. Hmm....good things, eh? You want to hear good things??? Okay. Here goes. There was a cute guy at the pool today. Very Hanson-esque. Yasamin leaves me voice messages..hehe. They're funny. Make me laugh.

We were driving today and saw this one cat...we stopped but my mom wouldn't let us stop...then we saw a mom and three babies and 2 other cats...my heart was breaking. Poor kitties. :-(

A 20-year old walked up to me at the beach and was all...woosh woooosh...but he saw I was young...and he turned away. It made me laugh.

Umm....okay. Good bye dudes. It's been a par-tay. See ya.
-Patrice

2 people are in a Solitary Shell | Are you in a Solitary Shell?


sandatthebeach

:: 2004 20 June :: 4.15pm
:: Mood: bored

BEADS!!!
i've had this crazy inspiration where i want to make everything.....but....er...i don't always have the patience to do so. but yesterday i went to hobby lobby and got a whole mess of beads right? it was so sweet cuz i was like i never wear jewelry because one i think they're annoying and two because i don't want to spend the money. well i figured if i made my own stuff i'd wear it....so i got a whole mess of beads....i wanted to get more things but i didn't have enough money. anywho...i was cleaning out my room the other night and i found some of my old clothes...i'm like hm...if i add a little something here and cut off this piece here it'd look really cool. so i decided...i'm gonna go to all these thrift stores and buy clothes but like alter them and make them look all cool and stuff....i'm just waiting for my mom to finally get me a sewing machine....

i feel really bad though because my parents are having to spend so much money on me. before school starts they promised me a new flute (eek!) which i'm happy about. i still have the vocal workshop that i'm going to and we only have the down payment paid....so that's some more money thye ahve to spend....and then if i make this one choir thing....that's another couple hundred. ::sigh:: i'm debating on whether i should go to theatre fest or not....it's not exactly free....and there's other things i want to do/get. i'm trying to decide...waht's more important? ::sigh::

i was talking to my dad the other night about college and whatnot.....and i decided...i really do want to go now. before i was afraid to....i was scared of leaving home...but now i'm ready. and i'm gonna work my ass off so i can get into the college that i want...or somewhere near that one school. the more i read about that school the more i want to go. it's like oh man...this place rocks and has so opportunities. ::crosses fingers:: i hope i get in....and i swear not to slack on purpose....shh it makes sense to me.

i'm gonna go for now....

Always, Sandy

1 people are in a Solitary Shell | Are you in a Solitary Shell?


mudpiegrl

:: 2004 19 June :: 9.43pm
:: Mood: amused

another update:

Roseprincess1826: just so you know, im not trying to steal neil from you, believe me, i would never want to hurt you like that! its just, im going away for the whole summer, and when i get back, hes going to be going away, so i dont know if ill get to see him again so i wanted to spend time with him. in my jounal i wasnt trying to mock you, im sry if you got that impression... i felt really bad for you.... i mean, u hadnt seen him in a while.... i am going to try my hardest to not be as flirty with him, if thats what you want... i really dont want to go away with you so upset with me like this, cause im not sure if ill have the best time at camp or not knowing that when i come home, ill have someone pist at me.... so please, could we try to start things all over again, try to make it all better?

Auto response from battlestarre: C H I C K E N ! ! !

Roseprincess1826: i wouldnt even want to go out with neil, hes more of the best friend type for me.... a big brother, my cousin... whatever you want to think of it as... hes just a lot of fun to be around, i have a good time when he's around... i dont know... i just dont want you to think that my goal in life is to take him away from you

5 people are in a Solitary Shell | Are you in a Solitary Shell?


mudpiegrl

:: 2004 19 June :: 1.23am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: velvet revolver

an update:

Currently Watching
Everybody Loves Raymond - The Complete First Season
By Ray Romano
see related

nothings wrong with my ear! thats always a good thing for me! Im so glad that im leaving now! get away from all the shiz that is going on here! there are just too many people that are either pist at me or pissing me off. blair- i know i cant run and hide forever, but the whole summer is a long time for people to calm down! woo hoo only 3 days left till i get to go to my most favoritest place in the world, OSRUI!!

yeah, so today i went to the movies to see the terminal. that was a good movie, it was just sooo long!!! but still good. afterwards i went over to blairs for a bit with her, jen, shroom, and campy. there we ate frosting... yummy and waved at cars passing by.... then we were going to go to neils house to hang out... cept i wasnt invited, and it wasnt neil who said no... it was jorie.... o well, she can calm the freak down while im at camp! get the hell over whatever her problem is with me!

o well, i really have to go and get packing!! happiness and kisses to all (or at least most people).

Posted 6/18/2004 at 7:01 PM - email it

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1 Comment
this is me


alright you want to know the issue...

you see, i havent been around to notice...which is half the issue...but the other half is that you seem to be obsessed with neil

and i honestly dont hate you or dislike you or anything of the sort...in fact...i expected you to come over...it was jen who said dont.

now i dont really care if you like neil or all that...believe me ive had this issue before...but this time its not neil im worried about.

it's you.

yea...i dont sugar-coat things.

like i said i dont dislike you...but it seems like you are trying to steal neil from me.

whether you are or not...it seems like it...

and that bothers me.

especially with you spending more time with him than me...

and reading your journal...it sounds like youre mocking my being upset that night at the park

i dont know...thats what i feel...whether you accept it or not...

just keep in mind...ive been going out with him for a year...stacey wanted him...jackie wanted him...goli seemed a threat...as did melanie at one time...and you see, you are the fifth...and most likely not the last.

i pray of you...please do not overdo your closeness with him.

2 people are in a Solitary Shell | Are you in a Solitary Shell?


sandatthebeach

:: 2004 19 June :: 12.21am
:: Mood: blank

it's been awhile
i haven't updated in forever and a half....so i thought i'd update. um...what is new with me? doing talent show, auditioning for this crazy choir thing, in need of a job because i need money.

yeah, how about you guys? what's new with you?

always, Sandy

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