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Black roses and Silver tears

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Angel_Bob

:: 2006 28 April :: 5.24pm

It's Friday!

Today my sister has her choir dinner theatre. I'm excited. She said the choreography is horrid so I'm looking forward to laughing with her. Or at her. Ha ha. She's a good sport.

I am hot. Wink wink, nudge nudge. It is very warm and beautiful outside. I am excited for spring. However, I am quite distraught because all the trees in my yard are the only kind of trees that don't have leaves on them right now.

The kids who're in France right now are coming back on the 28th of May. So it looks like I will be gone for 5 months. I'm going to France! Sometimes I forget all about it and it just surprises me. I am scared shitless. I will be GOING TO SCHOOL in a FOREIGN COUNTRY where all the classes will be taught in a language OTHER THAN THE ONE I HAVE BEEN SPEAKING SINCE BIRTH and one that I have FIVE YEARS of experience in. Yeah, I'm freaked out.

Lalalala.

I have exams next week and then I am done with my first year of college. Excitement!

I love you all.

P.S. Jessa, now I see what you mean about his family. She's being a poopyhead and you should just kill kick her. I was going to leave her a nasty message but that wouldn't be nice. I'm trying to resist the temptation.

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


mudpiegrl

:: 2006 27 April :: 3.20pm

I am so happy that Patrice is my friend. She basically rocks. Much better at rocking she is than me.

Poor me. If only I could be as rocking.

Oh well, I'll have to live my life one day of Peter Frampton after another.

Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 26 April :: 10.25pm

I'm pretty sure iPods die after about a year.

Mine needs wiped and reset but I'd like to get my music off first.

Pretty please, Julio.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 25 April :: 8.58am

The car poem
she being Brand

-new;and you
know consequently a
little stiff i was
careful of her and(having

thoroughly oiled the universal
joint tested my gas felt of
her radiator made sure her springs were O.

K.)i went right to it flooded-the-carburetor cranked her

up,slipped the
clutch(and then somehow got into reverse she
kicked what
the hell)next
minute i was back in neutral tried and

again slo-wly;bare,ly nudg. ing(my

lev-er Right-
oh and her gears being in
A 1 shape passed
from low through
second-in-to-high like
greasedlightning)just as we turned the corner of Divinity

avenue i touched the accelerator and give

her the juice,good

(it

was the first ride and believe i we was
happy to see how nice she acted right up to
the last minute coming back down by the Public
Gardens i slammed on

the
internalexpanding
&
externalcontracting
brakes Bothatonce and

brought allofher tremB
-ling
to a:dead.

stand-
;Still)

5 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


mudpiegrl

:: 2006 25 April :: 12.29am
:: Music: new pornographers, nada surf, belle & sebastian

this was begun as a result of a past entry here that begins "this is a rant about god". ServusDraconis: The one big gripe that I have with "The Three Religions of the World" is the arrogance of their creators and followers.
battlestarre: i keep thinking of stuff
battlestarre: omg me too
battlestarre: they all say that there's only one god to worship in entirety, but then say that theirs is the only one and tell you your religion is wrong
ServusDraconis: Well, I was mentioning the fact that in Islam, Christianity, and Judaism, the idea that all living things are subserviant to man.
battlestarre: i hate the whole prospect of religion. it's interesting and definatly plays a huge part in our actions and history, but i really do only think it was something we created to feel like we arent alone.
ServusDraconis: But you're right there as well.
battlestarre: yea.
battlestarre: theres a george orwell quote...
ServusDraconis: And Christianity is a breeding ground for irresponsibility.

Auto response from battlestarre: All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
George Orwell

battlestarre: it applies to every arguement alive
ServusDraconis: Mainly because there is no idea of cause and effect.
ServusDraconis: There is wrondoing, but no equal and opposite reaction.
ServusDraconis: Just wrongdoing, and then...
battlestarre: yes, agreed.
ServusDraconis: repent!
battlestarre: more wrongdoing, in retaliation
battlestarre: pf...it's just so you feel better about yourself though. if it's truely a sin, there is no repent
ServusDraconis: So you can commit all the sins you want, because Christ died for them, so he's already payed your dues as well as his.
battlestarre: yea, exactly.
ServusDraconis: I like to think that I'm an open minded person, but this is the general trend that I've observed.
ServusDraconis: And the more I read, the more this view prevails.
battlestarre: see, this is what i mean. even my friend, who is hardcore christian...the second person who defends me...agrees that humans have played the idea up so much and it's more worshiping an idea of selfishness than an idea of a presiding being
ServusDraconis: Oh, wow, I'm confused.
ServusDraconis: I need to actually read this posting instead of simply screening it.
battlestarre: the thing that frustrates me the most abotu that persons response is that they were like you're wrong, but im not saying your wrong
battlestarre: and they also said, you need to look more into it...as if i randomly state something i've heard and have not thought about
battlestarre: even worse because i spent so long at a catholic school
ServusDraconis: Yes.
battlestarre: and while it's quite the coincidence that cultures tend to follow the same trends within their very different religions, it doesnt mean it's true.
battlestarre: nearly every culture in the world has pictoral dragons in the history, but that doesnt mean they're real or were ever real.
ServusDraconis: All I can say is that, when asked who the wisest man in all Greece was, the oracle at Delphi simply stated, "Socrates."
ServusDraconis: Yet, when asked Socrates stated, "I am not wise, but at least I know that."
ServusDraconis: Well...
battlestarre: :-). thats why he's wise
ServusDraconis: Dragon theory is a specialty of mine...
ServusDraconis: Exactly.
ServusDraconis: Which is why when asked about my religious beliefs, I always state that I am man, and such things are beyond my understanding.
battlestarre: hm.
battlestarre: i guess i have a very scientific view on things.
ServusDraconis: In what way?
battlestarre: and you know, it's strange because religion is a theory. science is a theory. math is a working theory. history is a story created with theory. life is a theory...and to say you believe so strongly is something so pliable, so subject to change...its so strange.
battlestarre: well, i see humans as being created just the same as anything else...and not by some dirt and gentle hands but by evolution, survival...because the idea is not just reminiscent in our everyday lives, but relentlessly pounding on our backs
ServusDraconis: They are all theories.
battlestarre: i see no creature as more advanced as any other, rather, adapted to it's surroundings.
ServusDraconis: And each theory, being molded of differing points, is tested within its own bounds.
battlestarre: a giraffe is no better than a camel because he is taller
ServusDraconis: However, theorists seem to think that their particular method of testing ought to be applied to all theories.
ServusDraconis: Indeed.
battlestarre: it frustrates me a lot when people talk about how humans are far more intelligent.
ServusDraconis: I know.
ServusDraconis: I've held conversation with animals.
battlestarre: and for the longest while, i simply believed that humans had, in fact, been regressing in their dependence on automation
ServusDraconis: They're very intelligent.
battlestarre: agreed. as've i.
ServusDraconis: I fed a snapping turtle yesterday, and was effectively communicating with him.
battlestarre: but recently i've come upon the fact that all animals have evolved and adapted to what they have. some are just happier with sticking to what they know works for them.
battlestarre: :-)
battlestarre: which is apparent everyday in the human world
ServusDraconis: All animals stick to what they know works for them.
battlestarre: humans have this consistant idea that innovation will progress them, but they still have incessent dependencies on everything that surrounds them.
ServusDraconis: I do believe humans are more beautiful than other animals in that they often pursue wholeheartedly things that, according to the laws of survival, don't work.
ServusDraconis: Yes.
ServusDraconis: It's a tragic beauty that only the best of humans have.
ServusDraconis: Though nature would call it stupidity.
battlestarre: and yet, i find it intimidating and admirable that creatures such as socrates and shakespeare and gandhi and dali and mozart have existed...to create such unnatural but beautiful ideas
battlestarre: (music and art and writing are just as much a philosophy as philosophy itself)
battlestarre: (or as i see it...)
ServusDraconis: Yes.
ServusDraconis: Indeed!
ServusDraconis: There are four areas of the human intellect.
ServusDraconis: History, Art, Science, and Philosophy.
ServusDraconis: History is the actual.
ServusDraconis: Art is the possible.
ServusDraconis: Science is the probable.
ServusDraconis: And Philosophy is the desirable.
battlestarre: and despite how i despise the insistance of progressiveness, i admit i am a part of it and contribute to it. i abhor anyone who simply lives only for themselves. but that is only appropriate for what we have been taught in such a young society.
battlestarre: i often wonder, in fact, believe that animals have similar societies, however, they feel it's unnecessary to actually build durable homes. they're intelligent to see that avoidence of natural disasters is impossible, and they're, in fact, necessary for the ecosystem to thrive.
battlestarre: i get the feeling they're laughing at our insecurities about the ability to live, the fact that we keep our weakest alive.
ServusDraconis: Yes.
battlestarre: and that we would attempt to sabotage ourselves while we live in such a pillowed world.
ServusDraconis: I admit I would do almost anything to avoid death.
ServusDraconis: Define progressiveness.
battlestarre: "life must be nice when you dont have lions chasing you ten miles til you drop from exhaustion." "yea...too bad they forgot what that's like."
battlestarre: that's the thing. is progress what humans have created? or is it keeping the creme of your species alive, creating a stronger, more resilient species?
battlestarre: it's a question i constatly struggle with.
battlestarre: constantly
battlestarre: society commonly defines "civilization" or the building of buildings and creating of interlocking residences and businesses as progress
battlestarre: however, while we are finding more ways to defend ourselves from the "wild", we're also ending up wiht mroe ways to harm ourselves
battlestarre: humans can be defined like the rings placed ceremoniously around a woman's neck in some african tribes. they build until they are hte only support, and if you took them off, the neck, which was once made solely for supporting, can no longer do even that.
ServusDraconis: Philosophy fascinates me.
ServusDraconis: Yet I try to leave it to the philosophers.
battlestarre: i dont even see it as philosophy. it blends in with sociology and psychology and science for me.
battlestarre: and you cant have any of that without history.
ServusDraconis: I'm just trying to help as many people as possible to live rich, meaningful, lives.
battlestarre: that's why i love learning
battlestarre: and art without history doesnt exist, nor history without art
ServusDraconis: I am the same way.
ServusDraconis: Yes.

...
ServusDraconis: Did you know that General Eisenhower didn't go to college, yet he read all kinds of books and educated himself.
ServusDraconis: And his mastery of the battlefield was gleaned from reading things like Thucydides and Caesar.
ServusDraconis: He believed that he was re-incarnated from warriors who fought and died in these battles.
battlestarre: no, but that's interesting. if we didnt need the fuckin' paperwork to get good jobs, i wouldnt go to school either. i'd rather learn faster tahn we do in school
ServusDraconis: Yes.
battlestarre: school is now purely an institution to instill behaviour that is appropiate to society.
ServusDraconis: I agree.
ServusDraconis: It used to exist to create a societal elite, but no longer.
ServusDraconis: Not since "capitalism" and "socialism" took over.
ServusDraconis: Now everyone is the same.
battlestarre: i disagree, to a certain extent.
battlestarre: everyone has the same ability to learn. honestly, i dont believe that the majority of people who have learning disorders really do, it's just they weren't taught to "learn" the same way the other half of the kids were.
battlestarre: i think everyone has the right to learn, despite the fact that it's a strictly vain attempt at progressing.
ServusDraconis: Yes, and by giving "everyone" that right, it drains much of the sustenance of the idea of higher education.
ServusDraconis: Because the masses take advantage of it, and pass the system's requirements without actually becoming more educated individuals.

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


mudpiegrl

:: 2006 24 April :: 10.49pm

so tonight kristen and mushroom came over. we were sewing...or trying to for a bit. my mum and brother decided to get sushi...and decided to have a family dinner...so they went home...

well, lemme tell you about this family dinner...

mum wouldnt let us talk because she wanted to watch twenty-four...so tyler and i were laughing about that. he asked, "so where's the part where we talk about our days?"

then they were talking about someone they saw at sushi masa, the restaurant we got our food at. and my mum didnt understand that i knew who she was talking about and that it's the same person's family who owns silk manderin. so she kept talking about it and tyler was like...ok, she gets it. watch twenty four. and she started talking about how she was going to go in the garage, but the reaosn we were watching in the house is because it was tivo'd there as opposed to the garage, where it was over. so she started throwing a fit

and left the room. what news, eh?

but whatever.

my monologue went strangely. i was so worried that i had underprepared and i didnt know it well enough, but strangely, i was in the group of more memorized ones. one girl didnt even try. she was avoiding it because she's terrible at memorizing...which is the most ridiculous excuse i've ever heard. why wouldn't you even try? the fact that it was more difficult made me try harder to get it down...because i know im not so great at memorization.

regardless...it was just the first thing and we have to continue working on it for the rest of the semester. woo. mine's depressing as hell, too. oh well...i actually just found a few things to relate to my own life and character. interesting, i suppose.

amanda finally gave me the bright eyes cds...but neither of them have bowl of oranges on them...and just hearing his voice made it get stuck in my head. but dont worry...i found it on radio blog club.

so i'm mostly carefree right now...im just paranoid that someone's mad at me or i did something wrong...it's a bit guiltifying, really.

kristen and i have been working hardcore on our costumes...it's going ot be fun. and im going to come back saturday night for patrice's party. it's going to be an awesome weekend.

Are you crying?


Angel_Bob

:: 2006 23 April :: 9.57am

Yeah. Definitely growing my hair out.

This is the second time my father has called me by my brother's name/nicknames.

In my defense, he wasn't wearing his glasses.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 22 April :: 6.57pm

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 20 April :: 10.05am

For all you complete and total dorks out there:

There is an airport in Paris, France called Orly. I'm not even kidding.

Now try to tell me you still don't want to go to France.

9 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 19 April :: 8.03pm

I hate being sick.

Are you crying?


mudpiegrl

:: 2006 18 April :: 8.30am

i haven't actually made a real post in here in forever.
class was cancelled. life is busy but boring. wake up-drive-yellow line-purple/red line-class-class-red line-yellow line-drive-home-eat-change-drive-work-break-work-eat-drive-sleep...start over. Read more..

i dont even know what time my next class starts. 9:30? 10?

click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click
but iuno wha to put there you could put a blue background just a ... hah hah ha h ah
clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack
.............inhale............exhale
click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click
.....zzzzip................................................rustle
.................bing bing.......................................bing bing
..............................vvverer vverer

life is interesting in the library...

Are you crying?


mudpiegrl

:: 2006 16 April :: 8.37pm

im going to rant about god. im going to lay it straight out: i believe god is an idea that humans created to explain exsistance. it's straightforward, i think. i have yet to have someone really full-out argue with me. i think we've reached a point in our culture that it's completely acceptable to "believe" in god, but still doubt the idea. outside of church anyway.
patrice and i were discussing fate. some people argue that god has control over everything and from the moment we're born, knows our mistakes and successes and the moment we'll die (q related this theory to playing the sims ::click:: write rant about god ::click::). however, there are other's who believe god only initiates life, which would be the domino effect; flick the first and watch the rest fall.
the thing that kinda gets to me is not the indecision among the human race, nor the insistant denial by those i've talked to (because, as i said, most agree), but the fact that someone can say...yea, i suppose i look at it the same way, but later, in the same sentance, can say...im going to church, but im probably going to burn when i walk in the door.
do you sense the confusion in this person's head? sadly, this happens a lot.

8 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 15 April :: 9.25am

[Solid, Liquid and Big Boss] Snakes on a Plane.

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 14 April :: 9.09am

It is Friday.

(doot dee doot doot!)

And I don't have school.

(doot dee doot doot!)

(Tangent)Read more..(/Tangent)

And since I go to a Catholic college.

(doot dee doot doot!)

I don't have school on Monday either.

(doot dee doot doot!)

My father got back from Taiwan and China last night.

(doot dee doot doot!)

Which is excting.

(doot dee doot doot!)

I got a letter from Kelly yesterday.

(doot dee doot doot!)

Which looks like an adventure.

(doot dee doot doot!)

I'm really tempted [odd use of the word] to go to mass on Sunday.

(doot dee doot doot!)

But Hannah says rumor has it that they don't let you touch the communion wafer with your hands anymore.

(doot dee doot doot!)

And I don't want to throw a fit.

(doot dee doot doot!)

But I'm pretty sure it's not the 70's.

(doot dee doot doot!)

And I can put my own gosh darned host in my mouth.

(doot dee doot doot!)

Um. I think that's it.

(doot dee doot doot!)



Anyway, I'm done. My hand hurts and for some reason, I didn't just copy and paste the tune of my song.

I love you all.

P.S. I've started using the phrase "snakes on a plane" as a screenwriter says he started using it: "Somewhere in between 'C'est la vie', 'Whattya gonna do?' and 'Shit happens' falls my new zen koan: 'Snakes on a Plane'.

WIFE: Honey you stepped in dog poop again.
ME: Snakes on a Plane...
DOCTOR: Your cholesterol is 290. Perhaps you want to mix in a walk once in a while.
ME: Snakes on a Plane...
WIFE: Honey while you were on your cholesterol walk you stepped in dog poop again."


Yeah. Like that.

Loves.

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 13 April :: 9.19am

Of course I have to be sick during a break from school.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


Angel_Bob

:: 2006 12 April :: 4.39pm

ZOMFG.

I have two weeks of school left, not counting exam week. Next week is a four-day week. So is this one.

I'm almost done with my first year of college.

Exuberance!

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


goose

:: 2006 12 April :: 2.52pm

why did i bother coming to this site today? why am i bothering to write here? the only people that know about this, and could possibly read it all hate me. so why am i here? dont know... there are a lot of things i dont know.
i do know what im doing right now and i know what im going to do next, and for the rest of the evening. that i do know... i dont know why i haven't called kathryn back yet either. i told her i would and i want to but i just havent...
i really dont know why im writing in here... you all hate me anyway no matter what i do

Are you crying?


Angel_Bob

:: 2006 11 April :: 2.04pm

Why I called 911: A Story
Actually, this will be pretty brief.

I did not have French class today because we have our oral exams this week. I also did not have my business class today because today is a "research day." The only class I had was Cultural Anthropology, which began at 1:40.

So I got off to a late start and when I went to leave, I noticed a wire going from the telephone pole in our neighbor's yard to a point in front of our mailbox. I glanced over to the telephone pole and noticed that all the wires running from that pole across the street on Peachtree were hanging down low.

After much debate on who to call, I finally ended up calling 911. I didn't use the house phone because it turned out that the wire in the middle of the road was our telephone service. I used my cell phone to dial 911 and after being transfered told the guy I didn't know who to call but this was what was up. He said they'd contact the people who fix things like that and it would get fixed.

After over an hour, I called Cannon Township. Their non-emergency line is apparently the firestation. I talked to the fireman and he told me that he had put yellow flags on the power lines that were hanging down and contacted the telephone company. This was at about 9 and the telephone company said they'd be around in 4 hours. I asked the fireman if they were safe to drive under (and if the one ON THE GROUND WITH WIRES SHOWING was safe to drive over or around). He said the sagging ones were about 6 feet off the ground and there were higher points that I could drive under. He also said the one on the ground was safe but to be sure, I shouldn't drive on the part WITH WIRES HANGING OUT. I thanked him and hung up.

I eventually got up the courage and left because I still had my one class and then work. I decided not to go to Anthro because it really doesn't matter. I might be late to work.

All in all, it was pretty exciting. I thought I was going to get killed. I took pictures so I'll post those later, when I get home.

Even though it wasn't an emergency, I hope that's the last time I have to call 911.

I love you all.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


Angel_Bob

:: 2006 11 April :: 11.07am

I called 911. It was exciting.

More details later.

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 11 April :: 9.49am
:: Music: Cloud Cult

Cloud Cult is why I wish I could sing.
Bobby's got a spacesuit made out of squirrel skin. He's pushing downwards out and sucking upwards in. This is truth to him.

Gina burns her Barbie til it's unrecognizable rubber. Screw your D-size cups 'cause I'm a way better lover. This is truth to her.

Turn my stupid question marks into simple candy canes. This is truth to me.

P.S.
It's the feeling that you're falling but there's a fine line between falling and flying.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 8 April :: 10.59pm

I think my car is dying. It's doing this loud shuddering death moan that makes me uncomfortable driving it.

I have sadness.

Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 6 April :: 10.31pm

So.

When's everyone's last day of school?

Mine will be either May 3 or 4. That first week of May is exam week.

5 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 5 April :: 8.09am

One year ago today, I was on spring break. I was excited about prom and waiting for my dress to arrive. I was going to graduate from high school soon and I was anxious for our physics trip to Cedar Point.

Today, I am tired and not on spring break. I am excited about my first year of college life to be over and I'm waiting for 8:15 to arrive so I can get ready for class. I am going to drive myself in my car to Aquinas College and I'm anxious for my two dogs downstairs to shut up.

One year from today, I will be in France. I will be excited about the next weekend trip Emily and I take and will be waiting for my turn in the bathroom after my host siblings. I will be going to class at a French university with students from all over the world and will be anxious because Emily wasn't feeling well last night and it must be hard to be sick in a foreign country.



A lot changes in a year. It's amazing. I never really stop and think about it but one year ago I was attending high school in Rockford, Michigan. Today, I'm attending college at Aquinas College in Grand Rapids, Michigan and I drive myself to school everyday. One year from now I will be attending university in Perpignan, France and taking weekend trips to Spain.

Wow.

I can't say I'm not a little scared.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


Angel_Bob

:: 2006 3 April :: 10.46pm

My name is Rachel.

I am cool.

I steal people's husbands by having hot icons like the one I have now.

I also do it by having ones like these:


























Yep.
Read more..





Yeah. I'm cool.

2 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 3 April :: 9.29pm

I spelled the word "happy" incorrectly on Kyle's celebratory entry.

I feel stew-pod.

In other words, check the 'con.

P.S. Hannah: "They made Evita look so nice but she was the supreme dictator of a fascist totalitarian government. If anybody's crying for her, it's because she's wiping out their families. Everybody did love her though. I have to give her that. Nice tennis shoes."

My family is awesome.

P.P.S. Kyle, remember that totally awesome present I gave you that one year? How was that anyway?

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


angel_bob

:: 2006 3 April :: 9.25am

It's someone's birthday today.

Hap[p]y day of birth.

1 See through my crystal fears | Are you crying?


mudpiegrl

:: 2006 2 April :: 4.31pm

sleeeeeeeeeeep would be reaaaaally nice...

Are you crying?


Angel_Bob

:: 2006 1 April :: 10.02pm

And her secret is revealed!
I really would not mind raising my kids in Rockford.

Yes, it's boring. It's also a safe and quaint little town. I like it, it's cute and small.

However, California or Georgia would still be awesome. Or Ashland, Oregon.

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


Angel_Bob

:: 2006 29 March :: 10.14pm

Kelly!

Au Revoir Les Enfants is on DVD now.

Excitement!

P.S. The Lovely Bones is being made into a movie a la Peter Jackson. No, I'm not looking forward to it. I don't feel like crying and I don't think he can do sentimental/story about a girl who gets raped and stabbed to death then tells the whole story from heaven. Plus he's doing Halo that same year. Eh, not sure on how that'll turn out.

4 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?


Angel_Bob

:: 2006 28 March :: 10.31pm

Why did you turn down FIVE MILLION DOLLARS, Morrissey?

Why?

I would pay that much to see The Smiths in concert.

3 See through my crystal fearsXD | Are you crying?

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