mudpiegrl
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2005 23 May :: 7.18pm
so prom was awesome. the day after was as well. my calves hurt like hell, like i cant walk right, its ridiculous.
If i knew how to put pictures up i would. the nosegay he got was soooo prettyful!
my ditch dya was awesomely relaxing. yay for incredibles!
i want to know if kristen completed her misson today...;D?!?
btw, kristen, am soo sry for getting you in trouble today.
my mum's on another bitch attack.
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angel_bob
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2005 23 May :: 12.08am
:: Music: Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
Say goodnight and go (for goodness sake)
This song is so awesome. The music video is awesome too. (Bonus points for being on her mailing list.)
Even though I hate the show (coughsoapoperacough), I'm glad she got her music out there again.
I love you all.
Read more..
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mudpiegrl
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2005 20 May :: 1.48am
:: Mood: tired
due to shows and having a life, i havent updated in a whole three days or so.
Note one: be like mulan; make decisions on your own and make them quickly when needed.
note two: stay away from shonsky if you're going to explode.
note three: it's incredible how stuck up people can be
note four: ignore all boy intrests. it will only get you in trouble.
note five: good job on not screwing all your lights up.
note six: go to bed so that
note seven: you can have fun at prom with mike.
btw i got a dress. it's black with three pink bow stripes at the top. eep...pink, drapery, bows?!?
okie sweet dreams all g'night.
DULCE ET DECORUM EST
Wilfred Owen
Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.
Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! —An Ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime…
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, —
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori. (to die for the country is sweet and proper)
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angel_bob
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2005 18 May :: 10.53pm
:: Mood: confused
Congratulations cuz we've made it...
Today was my last day of high school.
It didn't really hit me until Katie and I were hanging out with Ben, Nick and Jackie.
And now I want to cry. I guess I'll go play WoW or something...
I have songs for occasions. Because I'm a dork.
This is my graduation song:
Lost at Sea by Eisley
Read more..
I love you all.
3 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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defiant
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2005 16 May :: 10.45pm
How can things that annoy you make good pets?
One of my pet peeves. Dictionarys that use root words to define a word.
se·ren·i·ty ( P ) Pronunciation Key (s-rn-t)
n.
The state or quality of being serene.
No shit, now what is it. I mean I know the word but when you're pasting that for someone on messenger who doesn't know the meaning, it's a whole lot more running around for you. You think people would know the concept of deduction laced with common sense and realize that adaptations of a word simply mean that word...only adapted.
2 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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jaganshi
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2005 16 May :: 6.26pm
Sitting here listening to music. What right to I have to be so profoundly unhappy?
There's nothing wrong with me. Nothing is being done to me. Just the same thousand petty torments that fly below my radar.
Even my repression isn't perfect.
I should not even be writing this. But then, why do I continue? Ah, the questions. *muses* I'd say that I'm probably writing because I'm doing the elevator-button thing. If I keep pressing the button, the elevator will go faster. If I keep writing, someone will log on and respond. The logic is roughly as sound.
Meh. Resume stoicism.
3 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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Jaganshi
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2005 16 May :: 5.23pm
Home sucks. All of them. If they didn't, no one would leave.
Read more..
1 See through my crystal fears |
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Jaganshi
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2005 16 May :: 5.23pm
Well. I was reprimanded for something interesting today. You know those picture holder things with the weighted base and a clip on a flexible wire? The clip holds the picture, and the base says something like "Butler Fall Ball 2004" on occasion?
My mother threw both of mine out, and told me never to bring drug paraphernalia home again. When I had no idea what the hell she was talking about, she told me she found two roach clips in my boxes from college. When she described those, I tried not to laugh at her, but I knew that laughing would only make it worse.
She told me that even though she knew I didn't know what they were (because God forbid they be for photos), if the military ever found out that shit was in this house, Mitch could be court-martialed. She said that she didn't tell Mitch what she'd found, she just threw them away. But if he'd known, he'd have been pissed and would have kicked me out of the house. (Which is just her trying to give us a common enemy to get me on her side.) Right.
"And it's not because we don't love you or anything like that, but we can't have these in our house. Don't ever bring drug paraphernalia home again."
"Wait, what? Where did that disclaimer come from?"
"Well, I don't want you to think that we don't love you or I'm just being mean about this, because I know that's how it must seem."
"Well, at the beginning I thought you were accusing me of smoking pot, but after that... that wasn't the conclusion I came to."
"No. I know that you aren't into all of that. [author note: Feel free to cast detect bullshit right about here.] But I was there in the 60's and 70's when all these came out, and that's what those are."
"Okay."
"Just don't bring drug shit home ever again."
Seriously. For fuck's sake.
Read more..
9 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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Angel_Bob
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2005 16 May :: 2.43am
So I stayed up all night. Kelly's going to pick me up in about two hours.
World of Warcraft is just finishing its stupid installation.
I didn't finish my government stuff so I'll be up late tonight/tomorrow night, whatever you want to call it.
My organs hurt.
I'll probably take a shower in an hour or so.
Have an awesome day.
I love you all.
P.S. Kyle, I hope you had fun yesterday.
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mudpiegrl
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2005 15 May :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: "pocahantas"
so the show's over. it doesnt feel like it. nothing feels. just tired and anticipation. that's all i got.
patrice you need to help me with my essay. :)
cresants are yummy.
"with all you got in ya boys, dig up virginia boys!"
chuck e. cheese sucked and apparently, janet's been treating us like crap because she got six complaints about how she was treating us from customers. and keith didnt show up one day becasue of how she's treating him. i wouldnt know; i work two days a week and for one of them, i spend the day locked in a room and dont talk to her. something with which am fine, but regardless. anyway, some people called corporate on her, i dont knwo what's happening with that...
let's see...oh mike gave me gummi bears after the show. it was soo sweet but i felt bad for not hugging him or anything but i dont think i'd feel comfortable. but then i did note the look on his and ryans and patrices faces and it made me feel really bad. so that's been like hte major thing on my mind.
i keep getting myself into exactly the same situations. before it was q>jorie>jeff, now, unsurely, more of a crap its turning into, mike>jorie>justin.
i dont want it like that i want to just like mike but i dont know him.
i feel so....stupid for continuing on about this because its something that i feel like i should have on my mind but i dont really care about. am anticipating the end of this year and turning in projects and stuff, but it might be to subconciously distract myself. i dont know
i feel really badly for kristen and stunkel. really, a very long story, and no they arent breaking up or anything. they have their own seperate entities (patrice, your word). but i feel bad for them and thats the point. but no pity for them.
i still need a dress for prom and its a week away but there's orchesis everyday until friday so no go there...unless iget it on friday. oh i think ill be so upset if i wear the purple quincenera dress...i was so excited for a pretty new dress just because tehy make me feel pretty, which will be especailly good next week after this one i hardly took care of myself. patrice, if we actually take our little vacation, it will be heaven.
okie...i think ive worded myself out. sweet dreams of gummi bears and chocolate kisses (hehe, trix). g'night.
"This is how we say hello: win-ga-po. and how we say goodbye: ah-na."
"I like hello better."
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Jaganshi
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2005 15 May :: 7.54pm
I'm considering doing one of those 'friends list cleanout' things.
So, if you still read anything on this blog, kindly post so I don't accidentally delete someone who might want to read the odds and ends I post.
9 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2005 15 May :: 1.08pm
:: Music: All You Need is Love
Tomorrow, Kelly and I go to Cedar Point with our Physics class. It's going to be awesome. Sort of. The bus leaves at 5:15 in the morning. It'll be really awesome because Kelly and I rode the bus together in 8th grade to Cedar Point so it's like we'll be little kids again. I think I'll pull an all-nighter tonight so I can get my government stuff done and it just feels lame to sleep for 2 or 3 hours.
Last night was the final night of the play. It wasn't that fantastic and it didn't really feel like anything. Maybe it's because I wasn't acting for anyone I knew or maybe it's because I wasn't going to the party afterwards. I don't know.
It was pretty final though. My friends in that play are juniors and freshmen. The junior I only see at lunch and Tuesday's the last day I'll ever have lunch.
Wednesday will be my last day of high school.
Finally.
My parents are in Las Vegas all this week so if you guys want to hang out or come over, feel free to do so because I'm not doing a thing.
I love you all.
1 See through my crystal fears |
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Angel_Bob
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2005 14 May :: 2.28pm
The play on Friday night was pretty awesome. Way better than Thursday night.
Nick, Ben, Kelly and Jackie came. Which was nice of them.
Something important...blah blah.
Final show is tonight. I don't really feel like doing it. Everyone wants me to go to the cast party tonight but I'm not a party person and there's going to be alcohol. People drinking makes me anxious.
I love you all.
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defiant
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2005 13 May :: 11.56pm
Something terribly strange happened today. My sister said something to me, and I looked at her, and I remember myself saying something and only hearing the last part. Then when I tried to remember what I'd said, it came back to me as if it was a dream. Like I didn't really say it. She looked at me and was like.....*nervous laugh* What...I don't....get it.
"It's not like you haven't killed anyone before."
1 See through my crystal fears |
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mudpiegrl
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2005 13 May :: 8.41am
so the show went pretty well last night, at least from the audience. it doesnt feel like show week at all, but maybe that's because i've lost all idea of time, as the kids i drive in the morning could probably vouch for. i finally finished my frickin psych project, and now i get a latin project due the day before prom and the one after orchesis. that sucks.
im tired cuz i didnt go to bed until five and i feel dirty cuz i woke up at 7:19, a minute before i had to leave, and didnt get to take a shower and it would have been nice to eat.
i should be cutting foamboard for architechtural drawing and im going to have to start working on my set for theatre tech; that's a lot of foam.
so apparently, this is our last show. i dont feel it, but maybe that's becuase in my head, it still isnt show week...
alright time to clean up foam balls.
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defiant
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2005 12 May :: 11.40pm
Oh, very menacing. I love how people talk down on others. Ever seen two guys in a fight? It's like two birds walking around puffing their chests out running into each other. The essence of homoerotic. If one would be so wise, they should take a lesson from the novel "White Fang" and go straight for the jugular rather then the big show that truly means they're too much of a coward to act.
A verbis ad verbera || Tis the way of fools
4 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2005 12 May :: 10.07pm
Tonight was opening night for the play.
We had a few bumps here and there (anything that could have gone wrong did, I'm glad Nick is going tomorrow) but overall it was awesome.
Katie made me the cutest thing ever.
I made the crowd laugh.
I'm so excited for the next two performances.
Thanks to everyone who came!
I love you all.
2 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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Jaganshi
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2005 12 May :: 4.29pm
This is all such a waste.
My mother is making me leave the house at night when they go to bed. I have to go out to my room now no matter when they retire. Don't get me wrong, I like living in the pool house. But I can't be online at night now without making a huge production out of it, and she bitches if I'm 'on that computer all day just like Mitch. I fucking hate that computer. All he ever does is play that game and I never see him and nothing ever gets done and I'm so fucking sick and tired of it." This goes on for another ten minutes until she gets tired, has something else to do or finds something else to bitch about.
Also, she bitches if I go out to my room to play final fantasy. That should tell you how hard up I am for effective escapism up here. Mindless repetitive leveling-up is preferable to anything else going on.
This is just such a waste. Where are those people who enjoy their vacations? Where are those people who look forward to going home from school so they can relax? Where are these people and why aren't any of them me?
We went shopping for food yesterday for four hours. Four hours of her bitching, both of them dithering about and Mitch wandering off because he doesn't want to be around her any more than I do. That kind of shit just drains the life right out of me. People wonder why I forgo emotions up here. I just don't have the energy for any of it. This is the kind of thing that saps the will to live right out of me until I'm just waiting for something to happen. Waiting for a good day, waiting for an open argument at least, waiting to be hit by a car. Anything.
Such a waste.
5 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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Angel_Bob
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2005 11 May :: 10.28pm
Yeah, we're sexy.
I cut my hair, not that you could tell if you don't know me/have never seen me.
That handsome man is Nick. Happy 11 month anniversary early, darling.
Hover on it to get rid of the words.
5 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2005 9 May :: 9.32pm
Just got home from play practice.
It feels like Tuesday.
My costume is different from all the other faeries so I'll stick out a lot.
Bought tickets for Ben, Jackie and Nick. Fourth row back, stage right.
Love you all.
4 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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angel_bob
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2005 8 May :: 3.35am
Prom was awesome.
Everyone was so beautiful and/or ruggedly handsome.
I loved getting out there and dancing without a care in the world.
I felt like a grown up.
I love you all.
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mudpiegrl
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2005 7 May :: 5.27pm
I am not resentful.
I do not regret.
I am not be impatient.
I have no frustration.
I feel no dissappointment.
I do not have stress.
I cannot feel emotions.
I do not feel worthless.
I am not dreading work.
I am not annoyed.
I am not dreadful.
I'm boosting morale...
1 See through my crystal fears |
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angel_bob
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2005 6 May :: 8.16pm
Prom is tomorrow. I'm excited.
I'm upset that I still have a week more of the play. I miss being home right after school. I don't have any time to be with my family or talk to anyone at all.
I miss that.
On Monday, we get to run through the play in costume. I can't wait.
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angel_bob
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2005 5 May :: 10.15pm
You know what I hate?
Those pants with words written on the seat.
Because I know those pants weren't made so some chick two years older than you is forced reflexively to stare at the same thing you poop out of. They're made so that guys will be staring at your rear involuntarily.
And I can't not look. It's a reflex. I have to read everything.
They forgot that girls can read too.
That's a fatal flaw in the design!
3 See through my crystal fearsXD |
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mudpiegrl
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2005 4 May :: 11.42pm
:: Mood: apathetic
50 Questions- I'm just like all the others. i did this backwards, it was fun.
1. What is your name? i have no name.
2. What color underwear are you wearing now? red. it was green stripes earlier
3. What are you listening to right now? craig something, english guy, late late show
4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? 46, or 14 if im home.
5. What was the last thing you ate? um i think it was a peach from my frozen fruit bag beside me
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? just not pink. maybe orange
7. How is the weather right now? good question. it probably changed since 10:30
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? i dont knw...that was so long ago.
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?Their body shape. i seem to be very attracted to skinny guys. very skinny guys.
10. Favorite Food? avocado and mango
11. Favorite Drink? Milk
12. Favorite Alcoholic Drink? ive tasted alcoholic stuff...i hate the taste of alcohol...ask my family they think im funny cuz i dont like it.
13. Favorite place to shop? world market.
14. Hair color: strawberry blonde
15. Eye Color: green
16. Do you wear contacts? nope 20/20
17. Top or Bottom? pants are nice...but if i had to walk around in a t-shirt and underwear or bra and pants, id pick the t-shirt and underwear cuz my shirt would probably be long enough.
18. Favorite Month? December makes me happy. though, the freedom of the summer is sweet too.
19. Favorite Fast Food? Rammy's!
20. Last Movie you Watched? good question. probably zim...does that count? oh kissing jessica stien? is that he title? i dont know it was on tv and i watched half of it....wasnt what i thought from the title.
21. Favorite Day of the Year? lol sandy said the last day of school. i say the first cuz it feels so fresh, like melon that's been in the fridge.
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? no
23. Summer or Winter? i love snow and i love sun. i lvoe being outside so either is just fine with me. people think snow sucks, but its sooo pretty and you can read outside in the summer, not to mention you can roll the windows down
24. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs
25. Chocolate or Vanilla? depends. every so often vanilla just tastes better, like not as heavy...even though it usually is just as much
26. Do you want your friends to respond back? doestn matter
27. Who is most likely to respond? You. if you get through it, you're likely to respond.
28. Who is least likely to respond? Everyone.
29. What books are you reading? A Great and Terrible Beauty and The Divinci Code.
30. Favorite TV Show? INVADER ZIM, closely followed by Tru calling, but i like the simpsons too. and any animal channel or oh i love when they do surgeries cuz you usually dont get to see taht stuff.
31. What's on your mouse pad? um...theres no pad at either comp. here, its a lap top...soo finger oil is on the mouse...upstairs is laser!
32. Favorite board game? Trivial Pursuit! no one likes playing it though. i also like LIFE.
33. What did you do last night? Crew. read susies story. slept.
34. Favorite Author? I dont know. one that writes. i found i actually really like E.L. Doctorow, and i know for sure i like J.K. Rowling. um... tamora pierce was entertaining for a while but im more into learning right now than fiction.
35. Who inspires you? everyone. everyone has some amazing quality, some have more than one!
36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? omg i love all of them. not carmel so much, but butter at the movie theatre, plain if i make it myself, and just salted at a campfire. mmm
37. Dogs or cats? Dogs
38. Favorite Flower? i dont know. i like two colour flowers. i only like real flowers though. painted or floral patterns bother me cuz nothing does them justice.
39. What do you say when you wake up in the A.M.? usually fuck cuz i realise i dont have enough time to take a shower or even to get to everyone and not be late.
40. Do you still talk to your best friends from middle school? no and im glad i dont. they're bad.
41. What's on your desk? five candles in a dish with some glass beads, april's dog fancy magazine, frozen fruit, a purple ribbon, a black pen, and a blue retractable dog leash. but the table looks clean...
42. Rock Concert or symphony? rock if im not on the floor getting smothered. symphony id go for anytime though.
43. Play or Opera? Dancing. i like watching dancing. ive never been to an opera, although, i want to see carmen so badly. play if its nto hs play...::snore:: *or* this sucks, that sucks, face your damn platforms and tape your stupid seams!!
44. Have you ever fired a gun? Sandy Kim "Nope. Wait....does a water gun count?" hehe. yea once at a carnival. at a piece of paper that i missed. oh and matts little guns with plastic pellets
45. Do you like to travel by plane? i love watching the ground get small and all the little cars...when it snows and you're landing its really cool too...oh...so yes.
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right, although ambidexterous would rock.
47. Smooth or Chunky Peanut Butter? stupid you sandy kim and your JIF reference. chunky...i feel safer like its not fake peanuts.
48. How many pillows do you sleep with? one right now, sometimes i switch
49. City and State you were born in? Fon du Lac, WI
50. Ever hitchhiked? No
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mudpiegrl
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2005 4 May :: 11.04pm
have you ever began to hate yourself so much that you wished you could sabatoge yourself? maybe people wouldnt dislike you so...maybe, if everything was wrong, then one thing right would feel so much better...
but then someone points it out. and the fact that it's unavoidable is not the painful thing. its the truth of it and you know you're wrong, but you cant do anything about it now.
so then you feel more like shit. and when that happens, the sabotaging instinct comes back.
::woosh::
but you'd miss out on so much pride.
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mudpiegrl
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2005 3 May :: 11.40pm
DAILYVirgo - August 23 - September 22
You're still quite focused on your sweetheart, and the feeling is mutual. Have dinner out, and don't be afraid to talk about the future. You won't be the only person at that candlelit table who's been thinking in terms of permanence.
WEEKLYVirgo - August 23 - September 22
Love's never perfect, despite you fervently wishing it would be so -- and trying with all your might to make it that way. Go easy on your efforts at the beginning of the week; you don't want to make anyone dear to you feel inadequate, and that includes yourself! Wednesday brings high spirits -- you're up for challenging the universe to give you exactly what you want. What a brilliant approach! By the weekend, someone compatible makes you question your expectations and deepen your definition of love. It's a good thing!
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