godessalthena
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2019 13 June :: 11.23pm
tomorrow is the big day... when I find out if I got the training job. I'm so nervous I can't sleep is like Christmas Eve when all you can think about is how your parents had to have gotten you that kitten this year is the year..... but deep down you know there is no kitten.
I am trying to remain optimistic. that my trip to Canada with emy will be a celebration vacation rather than that of defeat... I'm so excited getting pedicures then staying in a restort for a few days right on the ocean. I miss the ocean, I need the ocean again. I just hope this time I come back feeling better, because something has to give.
I just hope it isn't me.
now I just need to learn how to love someone again, and trust him, but it's just so damn hard to not be scared that I'm going to be hurt again
you make me cry sometimes baby and I wish ... I could move you like you move me sometimes ...
Oh, honey I'm worried 'bout you
You're too much to lose
You're all that I have
And, honey I'm worried 'bout you
Put yourself in my shoes
You're all that I have so please don't die
Wherever you are tonight
3 Kelsey Grammeri |
Thank You
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charlie
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2019 11 June :: 7.12pm
:: Music: Flatliners
Grab me by the throat. Your hands are freezing cold
And fingernails tear nice and slow. You know
I'm not afraid of all the things you think about
When you're alone swallowing your day
Hold on tight. Just hold on tight
Cataclysmic prose. Eye sockets will erode
When days to weeks to months seem half full
Yet I can't impose with another wilted rose
You'll feel this when you see how I've grown
We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Keep breathing. Stay broken
Our blood's boiled thin
You can taste it with every breath taken in
It's 2:30 AM. Years become layers of skin
I've shed them all but I'm not done yet
Heavy hearts my friends, come sing in unison
And drag me out of this hole I'm in
We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Keep breathing. Stay broken
Our blood's boiled thin
You can taste it with every breath taken in
Are you breathing?
Stay broken
I've earned my bitterness
My legs are planted firm in transit-stance
For this dead romance
Grab me by the throat. Your hands are freezing cold
And fingernails tear nice and slow. You know
I'm not afraid of all the things you think about
When you're alone swallowing your whole...
We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Keep breathing. Stay broken
Our blood's boiled thin
You can taste it with every breath taken in
We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2019 4 June :: 9.33pm
finally listening to the taking back Sunday album I thought I was buying when I drunkenly bought that all American rejects album
that's the good shit
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2019 4 June :: 1.27pm
this happens every month
where I just fill up with every negative emotions I bury deep down
and every sad song is about me
and I feel so alone
desolate and isolated stuck on an island of my own design
I was hoping these pills would make me a zombie but all they do is make me an ifrit
Thank You
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spud
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2019 24 May :: 11.15am
Recorded on 5.22.19
POD 17
In which I am serenaded by Alec.
Thank You
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spud
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2019 18 May :: 1.23pm
looks like it's time for
yet another DRUM BREAK!
I happened across an old recording of this drum pattern I'd written for basement audio lab. It was a crappy demo version consisting of me tapping on my legs and kicking the mic stand. It was virtually unlistenable, with a horrendous click track going in the background. I was surprised to find the pattern came much more naturally to me this time around, and the click was not necessary. I just wanted to make a better recording of the part for future reference. I don't know what prog rock band I'm going to join someday that will have a need for a part in 7/8 time, but you never know. When the time comes, I guess I'll have this to contribute.
Doing fills in 7 is hard. It's not a natural thing to feel when you were raised on groups of 2 and 4. Most people understand 3, I guess. Waltzes and such. Sometimes you'll hear radio stuff in 6 (which is really just 2 groups of 3, or 3 groups of 2, depending). 5 and 7 are a lot trickier, since you're mashing a 2 and a 3, or a 4 and a 3, or 2 twos and a 3 together at once. Makes it harder to find the downbeat. Actually, what I really like to do is carry it over 2 measures, then the "down" beat becomes the "up" beat for the second measure, before it turns back around again.
Thank You
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spud
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2019 16 May :: 10.52pm
I went to the KCCC meeting tonight
They were having elections. I am now officially Trustee #3 on the Board of Directors. Which is mostly an honorary title, but it was nice of them to include me.
I decided to celebrate at a place down the road ... with a poke bowl:
then i was like, wait...
poke bowl = poke ball?
2 Kelsey Grammeri |
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2019 8 May :: 6.43am
update to favorite word list:
skin
mirror
ephemeral
wrinkle wrinkly wrinkles wrinkled
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2019 22 April :: 8.04am
I'm so confused and I'm not sure what to do. I could listen to half of my heart, the other half, anyone of my friends or family... my brain.
I just don't know which to trust. heart and brain have a bad track record. friends and family are selfishly driven.
have an appointment with a counselor on the 10th and starting Zoloft to help with the depression. Doctor appointment on the 14th as well. pap smear (first one since 2015). been putting it off cuz my doctor o
is too young and too cute. feels like getting my hood pierced all over again XD
things will be ok and work out. whatever happens at least I still have myself. right?
Thank You
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spud
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2019 14 April :: 10.46pm
Recorded on 4.3.19
POD 16
In which I am joined by Mike. He will make you want to have his babies, with piercing blue eyes and gravelly baritone.
Links to stuff we mentioned:
1 Kelsey Grammer |
Thank You
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spud
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2019 9 April :: 11.30pm
recorded on 3.29.19
POD 15
The second episode with Kevin, in which we were highly inappropriate. You've been warned.
Links to stuff we mentioned:
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2019 9 April :: 8.44am
my shiney teeth that sparkle just like the stars on space
saw the dentist for the first time in 4 years, no cavities, and both the hygienist and doctor said they were beautiful! and the receptionist was surprised how fast my appointment went
I would like to than my electric toothbrush and the humble floss. I eat so much candy, and I hardly ever brush, but when I do I floss, and sometimes I just floss and that's it... idk flossing is just so fun seeing the stuff that comes out from in between... and then you brush them and it feels like you can breathe again.
it's like if nothing else is in control, I can at least get really stoned and brush my teeth and feel like I am the one driving the bus.
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2019 7 April :: 9.09am
who's going to hold you as the world falls apart?
no one, apparently.
just freefalling until the ground rises to meet this empty husk.
Thank You
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godessalthena
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2019 7 April :: 8.48am
jamais je ne t'oublierai
this is my whole life...
https://youtu.be/U2WDdccgaDY
Thank You
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spud
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2019 3 April :: 10.47am
Recorded on 3.27.19
POD 14.2
The second part, in which snacks were had and recording quality suffered accordingly. You've been warned.
Links to stuff we mentioned:
Thank You
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