::
2015 21 February :: 5.24pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: the indiest shit your earholes have heard
.... steppin out (bjorne) ....
so, a creative bug has hit me, and i have written my first song. please keep in mind this is a rough version and is subject to change. at this point i only have the lyrics, but i think i know what key i want to write it in and am working out how i want it to sound. i am, nevertheless, filled with an exuberant amount of pride at this. and while i may feel extremely exposed, please enjoy:
totally an adult now. just bought my first newer vehicle!
and I love it!!
she is small, black and quiet, just like my soul... bahahaha /emo
today has been excellent. I am going to just drive everywhere. I'm so stoked gonna drive around with my guitar and some paper and a pen and just get inspired, man.
like a fuckin Subaru commercial, only its a Chevy.
last night was a good night. tonight will be good too. monday was good too!
Monday was also the anniversary of the passing of my grandpa. it's been 13 years since then, and I miss him every day.
also, I haven't heard from andrew in a month and a half. I even tried adding money to his phone. I'm gonna try to write to him again, but last time the letter never made it..
in love with my new laptop. definitely worth the money I paid. Only downside is that the CD to install MS Works was shipped separately and not as fast so I can't do my stupid assignment. go figure.
but otherwise, it is so fast, and awesome. (i hate windows 8)
Having my family over for dinner tonight! very nervous. very.
I dig my toes into the sand. the ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket. I lean against the wind and pretend I am weightless, and in this moment I am happy.
1. invest in yourself. love yourself like you'd love your one true love. if you wouldn't do it to them, don't do it to yourself.
2. invest time in those who invest time into you. there are a lot of people vying for your attention, and not all of them will give you the respect you deserve. be a little choosy with your love, because the people you choose to love act like a mirror for how you love yourself.
I've learned so much since I started therapy. and not only learned, but held accountable for implementing and following through on these changes.
I also have become more and more convinced that karma is real. you get out of life what you put in, so I've been trying to avoid doing thing I wouldn't want to happen to me. and fighting for truth, love and justice.
like j says, there are going to be good days and there are going to be terrible days. it's impodtnat to remember that pain is temporary, and letting things go feels so much better than holding on when it comes to things like hatred, pain, jealousy, worthlessness, hopelessness, or revenge.
growing up hasn't really been fun, but with the tools I've aquired, and the skills I'm strengthening, I know my future will be much more fun than it was to get to this point.
a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day turned into......
the best mental health day taken in a long time <3
much needed pb&j time completely recovered me. and helped me realize that it's okay to have bad days, as long as you give them the opportunity to get better.
I am eternally grateful to have an amazing support system. and I'm so glad Alexz and I were able to become so close! I would never have imagined!