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kentnj2
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2006 28 October :: 8.40pm
:: Mood: peaceful
:: Music: Tom Jones with Cerys Matthews - Baby, its Cold Outside
gettin in that spirit
alright this is officialy my first post where its safe to say that im talking to myself. shall we take a break to celebrate? OF COURSE NOT! hehe. I do have to admit that i was feeling a bit stupid because for a while there it seemed like i was complaining A LOT. apologies to anyone who was oddly unfortunate to read any of it. Im currently listening to the 2005 Victoria Secret Christmad compilation, currently on track 4 wich happens to be...Michael Bubble singing 'ill be home for christmad'...he kinda reminds me of sinatra, or at least the style he conveys...that 'loungy' style or something. hehe. hes not too bad...but anyway, amazingly long intro aside, its that time of the year that can take any ailment and make you forget about it. This sensation is even better when you dont have that many problems at all coming into the season. ive been doin that thinking that im so used to and ive actually come up with something new, wich by my current standards is odd. it was one of those thoughts that change my aspect on life a little. what if i was made this way? I complain and whine about nothing and its not my fault (possibly). i was just toying with the thought of global/human conditioning. its obvious that todays society has an effect on our media and our media has an effect on society, or at least people make big deals making it seem like this. with everyone complaining about movies and video games messing with our minds and with todays media being so cuthroat and money grubbin. maybe its a side effect that todays teens have become what they have become because of the way the world is conducted. since we cant evolve physically too much more it would make sense that our minds will keep growing. no teen wants to complain, or get sad, or deal with drama the way we normally deal with drama. do we handle things a certain way because thats what we were taught growing up. thats how not only our parents, but the world, has conditioned us to be. everything we here on the radio and in our music, everything we see on big and little screan, everything our friends and not friends say and do, and of course by every little thing our parents do since we are concieved. has the world turned us into something bad? normally id let something like this bring me down, but it actually cheers me up, because ive always found that as long as i know that there is a problem ive always been able to fix it or avoid it so it doesnt become a problem. i could possibly be the man who figures out the reason behind life. keep in touch...wait...WHO AM I TALKING TO!?!?! hehe. its good to be a little crazy.
Kent~
love you
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imaqinary
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2006 28 October :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: determined
:: Music: Alyssa's voice
bllahhh!
Ah... life... I don't really see what the point of it is sometimes. Everything I love has just been taken from me... My 1st year of chorus, I began to love chorus.. & Ms. Romero leaves... I actually fall in love with Alyssa & she leaves... I just hate life sometimes.....
We were so close to not being able to go to Solo & Ensembles.... I had to bring the application to John Rose's house last night at like... 11.. it was crazy... John Rose is Coral Reef's director... I feel so special that 2 choral directors were helping us out.. =] Ms. Romero & Mr. Rose are cool people! hehe...
Yeah.. but I wanted to die last night.. I was not happy... I was crying a lot & I felt cutting myself.. but I didn't thankfully... =\
Anyway... I downloaded music from Aladdin.. so yeah I think I'm going to go listen to it... lol
Here are some icons...
Read more..
I love Alyssa
3 i pretty much |
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kentnj2
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2006 25 October :: 1.29pm
:: Mood: dazed
:: Music: Dir En Grey - Kodoku Ni Shisu, Yueni Kodoku
its not all bad.
either of become better at rolling or things just arent getting to me as much as they used to. rolling as in rolling with the punches, because i think ive gotten myself to actually believe that (despite my disbelief in fate and all things alike) all the bad things that happen to me are for a good reason, that reason being, to start or be apart of the chain reactions for the good crap that happens to me in my life. now of course id i didnt have to over analyze it id have just told you that things are better because im learning to roll with the punches. a good ammount of ok stuff is happening to me quite often so im complaining less and less every day, and with the holidays coming up and the promise of winter weather, i think things will be looking up for a while, but the thing i have to realize is that they will be looking up in a completely different way, wich i have to accept. its good to have some sort of grasp on wether or not things will be looking up.
Kent~
love you
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chorusnerd620
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2006 22 October :: 4.22pm
:: Music: 'breath, Stretch, Shake
Past few days
It's pretty much the same ol', same ol'. I met a few people. brian's becoming my stalker, its kinda scary but hey atleast i dont walk alone in the hallway. Also, i met Alex he's pretty cool. He's in Chorus..he's a bass. GANGSTER! He's a neat person. He likes me, so does Brian. I hate when people like me, i feel bad to turn them down. But i gotta do what i gotta do. even if it makes me a bad person, or if they dont wanna talk to me anymore.
Friday was pretty cool i guess, i went to my friend Amanda's house, she was having a sleep over. Her freakin house is like a mansion. I got there around 4:30. Then we went to the West VS. Central game. OH YEA!!! we won. 10-28. The game was insane! Surpringly, there were NO fights. Its a game as if South Dade and Homestead were playing . The only thing that sucked about it was the fact it was like 40 degrees out there. Then like the middle of the 3rd quarter it started snowing! Don't get me wrong i love snow, but not when im not able to move. its even colder! oh well, the game, the excitement was all worth it.
Then we left and went to her house. We watched The Blair Witch Project and The Hills Have Eyes..Amanda's house is surrounded by trees and after we watched The Blair Project her dad asked if we wanted to go walk in the woods..all of us were like 'NO, that's ok", "Are you crazy?", "heck No!" ..lol, it was funny. The Blair Witch Project isnt all that scary, but still! it makes you wonder. Then we liked pigged out on candy, chips, soda, the regular stuff you eat at a slumber party. we went to sleep around 3 or 4, dont really remember. Then i left around 12:00.
The i came home and had to put ALL my clothes away, and some otehr crap, cause my aunt brought the rest of our stuff from Florida. then after i finished that crap we went to the mall, i got some applications to get a job. I NEED SOME MONEY!!! lol, yea hopefully i get one. We chilled there for a while, i got some clothes :D YAY! then we came home. My mom and Aunt went tout so Corrina and i had the house to ourselves, it was pretty cool1 i love when parents arent' around. Then we feel asleep around 2:00.
That was pretty much Friday and Saturday
Sunday (today) isnt nothing. i just woke up around 9:00. Ate breakfast with my Mom, my brother, Aunt, and 2 cousins. Then my mom, br0ther and I just talked and stuff and waited for the Dolphin game to start. We're officially 1-6. We lost to the FUCKIN PACKERS! we could've won if we just played better. If we had a better Offense, O-Line, Special team, Recievers, Running back, pretty much EVERYTHING! othere than a defense, they're pretty good. And now im here. Nothing pretty special happened today, or any other day for that matter. I think we might go to this Haunted House thing later in downtown, but i dont know..whatever.
Well, that was my weekend. Update tomorrow or something. Bye, Journal!!
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imaqinary
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2006 22 October :: 2.46pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: "Nobody Wins"- The Veronicas
Man... apparently I suck..
I sware I must be one of the worst girlfriends of life.. right? I mean, I wasn't able to talk to Alyssa on friday (although it was our 4th month anniversary! Mind you, I was completely understanding about the whole thing.) because she was at a sleepover and then yesterday I went out (not even all night) and I get the cold shoulder because I somewhat can't talk on the phone. =\
Yesterday was pretty fun. I hung out with Anjane like I usually do on the weekends now. I went over to her house at around 1:30 yesterday and we were going to practice our solo and ensemble songs again. We really only practiced for about 20 minutes out of the entire time we were there though. lol We talked about everything most of the day. She straightened my hair and it actually turned out really good. Although my hair isn't really far from straight.. it's just a little wavy, but it looked a lot different. She did all of my makeup too.. It was fun. We called Aly but she had plans already so she couldn't hang out. We decided we wanted to go to Barnes & Noble and we had called Kristin to meet us there but she couldn't go. We had also asked Ryan but he was acting dumb and said he was going to the movies, so it was just Anjane & I. My dad actually gave me money so I was pretty excited. lol
So, we went to Barnes & Noble and we were just looking around. Anjane suggested we go across the street to Old Navy and the GAP so I was like, sure! We looked around there and I was going to buy a pair of flip-flops but decided against it. I really should've bought them, but oh well. I had my heart set on buying a book. =] We were going to go to Claire's which was around there but they were closing as soon as we got over there, so we couldn't. After that, we decided we wanted something to eat (& strangely I was craving hot chocolate) so we went to this 24/7 diner. It was around 9 p.m by this time. So yeah, we had food and talked and then got out of there. Then, we went back to Barnes & Noble because I wanted to buy a book extremely bad. lol
I had no clue what book I wanted to buy throughout this whole time in Barnes & Noble and Anjane was trying to figure out what I'd like to read. We started talking about A Series Of Unfortunate Events and I had told her I wanted to read it. We found out last night that they had finally come out with The End. It was the last book of the series and it had apparently just come out last week. Anjane was freaking out. All she kept saying was, "They made an end? Oh my gosh! They actually finished it!?" lol it was really funny. I had already seen the movie, which is based on the first 3 books and she had told me that the 4th book was extremely boring and she didn't like it. So, she told me that I should start with the 5th book since I basically know the beginning and everything. So I bought it. I actually already finished it and I bought it at like 10 something last night. I was reading it from 10 something in the morning today and finished it around 1:30 or something. lol yeah, I'm a loser.
Anyway, I've called Alyssa like 3 times today and she didn't answer any of the times, so I'm guessing either she's not home or she just doesn't want to call me back because she's mad. I think it's really pointless to be mad about something like that, but I can't change it. We really shouldn't be fighting now. Especially since we're so far away from eachother. It's bad enough that all we have is the internet and phones now. =[
Yeah, I feel like I've done a lot today. I finished a book, I cleaned my room, I'm doing all of my laundry (Not that I don't do it already!)..
Well, I have to do some other stuff... I'll write later.
.I love Alyssa.
With all of my heart & soul.
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kentnj2
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2006 22 October :: 9.36am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: blank
9.5 am on a sunday...moral is low...losing conciousness...cant...go..ALRIGHT enough with the theatrics. good morning to few and fewer. im up this early because of parents, plain and simple, no use elaborating, simply put im up because of parents. will i be happy when im away from them? whos to say anything really, of course its leaning toward yes, but we wont put my parents down for the count yet. should be a family filled funtastic funderful night. maybe with some cheetos in the middle 'if' i play me cards right. i hope everyone has a great time mostly not reading this.
Kent~
love you
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kentnj2
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2006 20 October :: 4.22am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: 30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill
Late Night/Early Morning
i find that i dont sleep as much as id want to. wich is kind of odd considering i have the time to sleep. what could be wrong? 4:24 in the a.m. with school in a few hours, all i can say is thank ___ its friday (insert religious figure ____ ). ive been struggling the past few days with myself because it seems that something has really altered who i am, and im worried that ive already changed and i cant turn back. nobody ever talks about the bad stuff of anything yet its there to bite you in the ass whenever is most inconvinient. am i more of a bad person in the end? i dont think i have ever been this secluded ever. ive never not had friends. exactly how does anyone (mostly me) expect to be motivated if absolutely nothing currently in my life motivated me to do anything...on a lighter note i have actually been motivated these past few days...to find out where the new bridge goes that they spent like 3 months putting up, causing so many traffic jams. it looks like its some sort of walking or bike path, wich for some strange frickin reason is appealing to me. go figure indeed....is it considered journal etiquette to keep listening to the same song that you put even though this is your 3rd time listening to it? DAMNIT i need some woohu buddies to clue me in on the happenings of all this. im such a...n00b i believe they are called.hehe...trying not to fall into the stereotypical behavior for most journal-ers i will tell you that ive been suprisingly chipper these past few days. i could either be possibly accepting things as they are or they are puping something through the air vents at school. ive really been wanting to talk about my love life, but its been hard because thats always a touchy subject, i dont have much to talk about because i havent known love since early middle school (if it really was love). but since then its not that i havent had the opportunity to fall back in love...well...actually yes it is, because i havent dated anybody for longer than a few weeks since middle school. pathetic? no of course not...at least not untill i tell you that since early middle school ive been with 3 girls. i dont get how i actually forgot the feeling, cause i remember how amazed i was at the time. i do miss it, but im not talking about it...so...im going to go jump in the shower and watch some toons before i head into class.
~often times i wonder if im talking to myself through an online journal i paid 5 dollars for~
Kent~
3 i pretty much |
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