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My name is....JayZulla, the micrula....

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allyson

:: 2011 6 February :: 12.54am

Callie~
You are 17 weeks old today. In 3 days, you will be 4 months old. I can not believe how fast these 17 weeks have come and go. Each morning when you start rustling around and break out that beautiful smile makes me realize how lucky I am for you to be here with me. I may not have realized it then... but when I had you... we both could have died right there in that bathroom. I apparently.lost a lot of.blood and God only.know how many other things could've gone wrong with the birth in general not to mention all the tlabor that could've been wrong with you. I had been in active labor for 12+ hours and didn't know it. That can put a lot of stress on babies. Lucky for me, you were strong and healthy. Right now you are sleeping right next to me. I'm listening to you breath.
Today, you were so happy. I was able to put you down and play and talk to you...I even left you on the activity mat all alone and you tugged and pulled on the toys attached to it. Grandma and gumpy came over this evening and while grandma had you, you kept looking around the room for me to make sure I was there. I love that now you fuss when I put you in your chair when I have to make dinner or clean. And then when I walk in your direction you start smiling and giggling but as soon as I walk past you, you let out a cry. You love me. And I love you. At least today while I made dinner and sister was talking you decided to talk back. Goo this gaah that. " a goo a goo" over and over. You even put your pacifier back in your mouth after it fell out.

2 shots | Shoot the shit


phil-himself

:: 2011 28 January :: 10.49am

Kyuss and early Queens of the Stone Age

Shoot the shit


tuwang

:: 2011 14 January :: 4.34pm

this weekend will be the 6th weekend in a row Ive gone out all night and come home on the first train in the morning. Im not entirely sure how I feel about that.

I had a dream last night that I went to a bar with my friend Benedict. I paid 2000 yen at the door, got my wristband and two tickets, and entered. When I got in, a fat lady with a poorly shaped bob haircut and thick horn-rimmed glasses stops me and asks me for proof that I had paid. I show her my wristband but she says, `that proves nothing`. I pull out one of the two tickets I had and I get the same response, followed by the other only to yet again hear how useless it is. She starts chuckling and I say, `what do I have to do to prove to you that I paid?`. She grins and replies `Tim should have given you what you need.`
`Then Ill go find time`
`Tim wont give it to you now, Im sure`
She is laughing hysterically and Im getting incredibly frustrated at this point. I start cursing in Japanese, to which she responds with laughter.
`Its no use really` she says and continues laughing, her belly jiggling rythmycally.

Its then that I pull out a Colt .357, cock it, aim at her face, and pull the trigger. I hear nothing but see a flash of white, at which point I wake up in a cold sweat.

what does this mean?

For a reality update, Im still alive. Thats nice yeah?

2 shots | Shoot the shit


tuwang

:: 2011 6 January :: 9.12am

back then they didnt want me, now Im hot they all up on me.

I wish it were easier to make apostrophes on this keyboard.

Bitches need to learn to take a joke, especially when the implied meaning isnt inately evil by any means.

my three thoughts for today.

Akemashite Omedetougozaimasu.

2 shots | Shoot the shit


skife

:: 2011 2 January :: 5.09am

Dear beave,


Keep your stick on the ice

Love,
-beave

1 shot | Shoot the shit


phil-himself

:: 2010 24 December :: 8.05pm

Downtown Browntown

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phil-himself

:: 2010 21 December :: 7.33am

USA #1

2 shots | Shoot the shit


phil-himself

:: 2010 15 December :: 10.26pm

If this deal goes through I will be a member of the land owning community.

Shoot the shit


this-acoustic-love

:: 2010 11 December :: 9.17pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Josh Groban



3 shots | Shoot the shit


phil-himself

:: 2010 8 December :: 7.25am

Your music is bad and you should feel bad.

Shoot the shit


phil-himself

:: 2010 4 December :: 12.44am

We manufacture synthetic reasonings to justify our existence.

I don't need something else to validate why I'm here.

3 shots | Shoot the shit


phil-himself

:: 2010 28 November :: 11.07pm

Missed a stop sign and crashed my truck, this blows.

10 shots | Shoot the shit


rayray

:: 2010 28 November :: 4.01pm

For the last 9 months, I thought that my whole life had changed when I found out I was pregnant on March 7th.
Clearly I was wrong.
On June 16th, when I found out I was having a baby girl, and cried because I was scared she was going to be just like me, an emotional wreck her whole life, and blame her mom for everything, I thought my whole world had changed.
But again, I was wrong.
It wasn't until November 8th, that my whole life had changed. This time I wasn't wrong.
Welcoming my baby girl into this world, was the most amazing thing.
It is so unbelievably amazing how you think your life can be complete with everything you have in it, until you have a child. Then you know your life is complete.
Part of me believes that I could go the rest of my life without accomplishing another thing, and be okay, because I know that I have created a life, that will keep me going.
I can't wait to watch her grow up.
I am terrified that she will resent me the way I resent my mom.
I am absolutely terrified I will turn out to be like my mom.
But I know that if I do the best I can, and do everything I can not to be like her, I will be okay.

3 shots | Shoot the shit


tuwang

:: 2010 22 November :: 5.09pm

this is the point in time where I usually pack it in and say fuck it.

but fuck that.... not this time bitches.

the question is is it really worth the effort its going to take? and on top of that, the amount of emotional energy its going to consume?

I really dont understand the situation at all, but clearly somethings going to have to give.

its so easy to give up when its two ways, but its so difficult to capitulate when its one sided.... why is that? I dont really have anything to prove, and theoretically speaking, Im sitting pretty otherwise. Its like Im 18 again... I dont like me at 18...

1 shot | Shoot the shit


phil-himself

:: 2010 28 October :: 9.27pm

Shoot
I could use a steak and a good beer right about now.

3 shots | Shoot the shit

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