No one could see me. I fell into yesterday.

:: 2005 9 January :: 2.08am

I was fucking used.
And I don't want to talk about it.

2 worthless words | help me

:: 2005 7 January :: 11.54pm

Hottest boy ever = Going over to his house tomorrow.

I'm so frickin' lucky. There shall be pictures.

2 worthless words | help me

justadreamer

:: 2005 6 January :: 5.47pm

I don't care anymore if I let you down
I believe that I need to be free
I'm so used to my life with you around
I don't know anymore the real me
"Finding Myself" - Smile Empty Soul

So. I've figured out that it's not going to change. Not anytime soon anyway. I've 'put up with it' for over a week. I know I could wait longer but I don't feel there's any use in waiting. Not anymore.

Hints to being on the good side of Ashley:
*Do NOT steal my bed
*Do NOT steal my blankets
*Do NOT invite yourself along
*Do NOT not call for a several days then call me and expect things to be peachy
*Do NOT call me up and expect me to drop everything just for you after you never drop anything for me
*Do NOT go through my stuff
*Do NOT sit close enough to be touching me at school
*Do NOT expect me to be a little miss ray of sunshine every single day
*Do NOT think you can just touch me whenever you want to - I am NOT yours
*Do NOT compliment me with something like "You're beautiful" to get something [I'd rather not hear fake compliments, thanks, especially not for self-gain]
*DO give me my space
*DO call me -occasionally-
*DO give me time alone with my friends
*DO understand that I'm emotional and sensitive
*DO stop when I say stop
*DO take things seriously sometimes

I'm sure there's a million other things that I just can't think of right now. Uh.. That's.. mostly.. aimed towards my 'boyfriend'.

One definition for 'relationship': A romantic or passionate attachment.

Romantic? If you call a hug and an "I love you" that doesn't even really feel like it's real at the end of every phone conversation (except the last two calls ^^) romantic, sure.

Passionate? .. Not hardly.

I'm just getting more and more unhappy, and I know I should end this but I really am a coward. I cannot do this face-to-face. I'm sure people would say that he 'deserves a face-to-face' breakup but.. Why do people want that? I wouldn't want to be 'dumped' face-to-face. Phone is much more convenient and much less painful.. to me at least.

Everyone has their own views on this and their own feelings. This is just mine.

Lately he's just been annoying me.. really.. badly.. And I just want him to leave me alone. I don't like it when he kisses me on the cheek. I don't like it when he hugs me. I don't think I'm ready for a real relationship. At least not with him.

--

I wrote all of the above earlier before the phone lines decided to die. Now I'm back on and I still feel the same way. I changed my mind on the waiting bit. I'm going to wait a few days because I -am- sick today.. and.. I guess.. that's it..

Advice, be it good or bad, would be greatly appreciated.
-Ash

2 worthless words | help me

:: 2004 30 December :: 10.32am

Complaining!!!!!!
Yeah so...life today...im tired...and extreamly tense...michelle need a back rub....bah

So jessikas party is tonight...im spossed to go early i think....oh and nickos party is tomarrow night and my dad dosent want me to stay the night at jessikas afterward....right...like im not going to...well im not anyways but shh its a secret...its going to be sooo cold!!!!*burrr*

Poor roxy her mom wants to talk to nicko's parents...eh....that sucks...so many things wrong with that

So yeah im really tired cause last night my imagination was having a hay day with all the shadows in my room..and the head was making this paper rustle it was weird.....

OMG my dreams last night were weird....i had a dream that i was talking on the phone with Derek Eldridge *melt* and we were talking about this famous basketball dude...i dunno then he started singing the punk rock song ...it was funnny.....ok so yeah

I started working on my science stuff again so yeah......my dads being a jerk right now...and he wonders why i get mad at him...oh sure you can go to roxannes then about 30 mins later he comes up and says mom wants to know what im gonna give up this week .....then i find out he was the one who changed his mind...then to top it all off ..i asked him why he changed his mind and he started babbling then claimed i polluted him......polluted him? what do i have some unknown jedi mind tricks? so yeah...its my fault i cant go..(?) i dunno hes being stupid.........then he comes up here today and tells me if michael and his friends break something up here while im here its my fault............even though...the whole time...iv been telling them to stop.....ASSHOLE....oh and now he dosent think i should stay the night at jessikas on new years eve.....oh hell no...im not changing my plans...he can kiss my big white ass cause im tired of him.

In other news ...wait no....no new news...he just got mad at me cause i asked why he was so enthusiastic about being cold.....sorry .....and then i go to my room and get yelled at for not being involved in family life....arg....parents..

My mom forgot to pick me up again...yeah....she does this often..its almost like she dosent exist...or isnt home ever...oh wait!!!she isnt..

AND MY BROTHER is being a dork.......errr *jab jab*

DAMN FAMILY

*smack head on desk*

:: 2004 27 December :: 8.43pm
:: Music: Vitigo-U2

Darkness sucks
Yes so taday was great fun!!!!Nick and i kept stealing Gwens hat then running around and hiding/passing it off to one another...twas amusing...the move Darkness......suck...yeah...horribly sucked......we had quizznos and it was very good......and i had a steamer...i ate alot today....eh...need to go to gym or get on tredmill....but neways...i meditated today it was nice...then i streached....now i awhere...oh lastnight jessika slept over...it was fun...she never stays the night to it was cool...now im tired....and yeah so ....bah...sleep

JustADreamer

:: 2004 27 December :: 4.19am

>Degrassi Rant<

Okay. Terri got hurt by Rick. They haven't mentioned her much lately. I read somewhere that they imply that she gets better, but the cast member herself doesn't come back. Okay.. I see. And then Jimmy gets shot, but he IS supposed to be coming back. I didn't know Terri wasn't coming back. Maybe the person got their information wrong? Grr. What's going on! >_o Oh, and I heard that Sean IS coming back from Wasega Beach, but then I heard that he's not.. Stupid rumours. I wish people would get their stuff straight. I also heard that Degrassi is coming out on DVD, or that it already has. If so... YAY! I want, I want, I want! If anyone reads this and watches Degrassi.. Do you know when the next season starts? =]

>End Degrassi Rant<

Yesterday was.. All right.. I went to Books-A-Million and bought the fifth Fruits Basket, The Killing Dance [Laurell K. Hamilton], and a book of love poems. XD I know.. That's about as sappy as it gets but oh well!

I was planning on buying a book over astonomy and Egyptology as well.. And a journal. I want a written one that I can keep stuff in and won't risk losing in case the site ever goes down or whatever.

Oh my. Is this an actual entry? =X I think it is! XD Anywho..

I think I'm going to go take my books into my room, heat up my rice pack, and get nice and cozy while listening to Fruits Basket on the tv and reading.. until I fall asleep. XD If I don't just warm up the rice pack and fall asleep right after turning on Fruits Basket (highly likely). I wonder if I'll even make it to the rice pack. It -is- 4:26 AM afterall..

Today I was supposed to be going out with Skye and Livia, but I changed my mind. =/ I don't really have any money, but I was planning on just hanging out with them anyway. Then Livia pointed out the whole "what's the point in going if you're not going to buy anything?" thing. I -was- planning on catching up with them but I don't really feel like it anymore. I've been home and around just my family for so long without going out anywhere.. What's another few weeks? I don't really mind.. I -was- looking forward to getting out and about for a little while, and a little time away from everyone would have been nice but it's not that big of a deal. Livia said they would buy me something to eat if we ended up going out to eat but do you know how annoying it is to have to rely on your friends for money to eat? "Charity case." I know, I know. They don't think that, but that's how it feels.. And that's not a happy feeling.

But regardless, this was a GREAT Christmas. Lots of presents, lots of family. XD Pretty funny times.

One time I recorded my dad and brothers arguing over football.. Their hand motions and movement and overlapping of voices.. XD Then I plugged my camera into the TV and played it for everyone. My sister-in-law and Mom were laughing pretty hard. ^^ It was pretty funny, but then they got in another conversation about what they'd already discussed.. I guess watching themselves (and hearing, oh boy did they hear) reminded them of some crucial point they forgot to cover.

I got about 70 pictures total (only about four of them [really BAD pictures] are of me). =] Got pictures of Mom, Dad, Tracey, Tracy, Bethany, Jamie, me, and Nibbles (the dog). XD

Okay, okay. I didn't think I was going to make it into my bedroom earlier and then I got started on all that, so..

Good night! Or day! Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! Be safe!
-Ash

4 worthless words | help me

:: 2004 26 December :: 12.24pm

Check it outtttttttt, Sarah got a digi cam.
Read more..

4 worthless words | help me

:: 2004 24 December :: 1.54pm
:: Music: Your Own Disaster - TBS

Bahaw
Yeah, I know I hardly EVER use this, I'm too busy using my LJ.

But Merry Christmas to all just the same.

If anyone wants to add me on LJ, my username is xxheartsick.
I use that WAY WAY WAY more than I do this thing. I love my Woohu though. *cuddles*

5 worthless words | help me

:: 2004 23 December :: 9.49pm

so i was hanging out with my guy friend justin...when i see derek in Wal*Mart...and hes like....MICHELLE!....so we hug and then justins like do you know her? And derek puts his arm around me and is like no....hes sooo tall....but yeah and then we started to talk about ciggaretts...(why..i do not know) and then age and they are both like oh well im not 18 for another couple of months...and i blurt
out oh well im not 18 for another 3 year...ok like really 2 and 3 months...and then he starts hitting himself on the head and telling me how he thought i was older....*michelle kicks herself*
i like him and now....bah
*Kick, kick kick*

Yes so that was my week...i hung with justin for 3 hours one morning..the above happened in that time.....*kick*...*kick kick kick* bah

Oh justin broke his hand cause courtney broke his heart...i feel bad....*twitch*
im sooo mad at myself....gah.....AAAAARG...*falls off chair onto ground and twitches slightly*

whywhywhywhwyhwhywwhywghwhiewfgtkcrm;xz...grrr....eh.....

damn me and my..eh.ness.....*kick self*

ARG....*slam head on comp desk*...just shoot me now...please! First i find out that the senior i have a thing for has a gf...a gf.....grrr...ow well....*slams face on desk*....im going to go and take my anger out on the cleanlyness of my room...

:: 2004 21 December :: 9.18pm

So yeah, nothing new...im tired...roxanne made me sick...bah....cleaned and rearranged room slightly...no more clutter!!!!yeah...bah

JustADreamer

:: 2004 20 December :: 12.03pm

Whee, boredom. ^_^ But it's okay.

Can't wait until Christmas! A little bit of family is coming to visit and I'm gonna get a camera! That is deserving of a "w00t!"

Sorry I haven't updated lately. I can't seem to keep my lives straight anymore. XD

Okay, ciao-roo.
-Ash

8 worthless words | help me

:: 2004 19 December :: 8.51pm

Wow its been a while...its a few days till xmas...yeah...im bored....i need to call roxy. Ashleys party was fun but Angie and Colten were being stupid....yeah....they are very my attention people....hmmm...

Ashley is due January 28...Ashley Houser not hindoin...

bah...im going...bored...

:: 2004 11 December :: 10.02am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: "Blood and Tears" - Danzig HAHA <3

Fucking hell.
What the fuck. Woohu has changed so much. I just came back and BAM! Livejournal makeover. Anyway, I'm going back out with James. Yes, I know I dated him last year, but he's changed so much and it's a good change. Plus I'm a sucker for a sweet talker. =/
He's coming over tomorrow. Wish me luck.

3 worthless words | help me

:: 2004 8 December :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: amused

PSYCO FRESHMAN/ Updated Profile
Days of peace are done in schooll......stupid psyco freshman.....she so...arg.....she lies...and i cant stand it anymore. Shes new so i was all, so how are you where are you from and whats you name....then it was downhill from there...yeah

Updated my profile

So this weekend seems totaly packed.....eh....Play friday, then after party...hehe Saturday go hand with niki...and like 30 other people...

I updated my profile

Bah im blahish right now...i dont want to fight with anyone .....i was so....comfortable with the way life was w/o conflict at school....it was nice....im going to ignore her....

Bah i feel sick.....

Im conducting an experiment upon myself....For the next 2 week im going to not drink soda, at all. Now soda has lost of sodium in it. People say sodium retains water, so im going to see how much weight i loose between now and 2 weeks from now. Then , if i do loose weight then my dad is right and if i dont then im right.....

Yeah i know, way to many variables for any real results to be reached by hey...thats life for ya.

I have a bad feeling...anyone else?

go look at my damn profile!

:: 2004 7 December :: 2.09pm
:: Mood: unmotivated
:: Music: "America" - Rammestein

And fireworks shall mark your entrance
As we're going through the opening sequence of the play last night, one of the lights exploded. At first, we all thought B. had added fireworks to the show, but it didn't take long to realize that the light was gone. Basically, the lamp blew up, the resulting concussion blew off the back of the light, and sparks and molten glass and other objects came cascading upon the house... It's being fixed.

Also, there was absolutely no one backstage yesterday... it was strange. Yes, some people were watching the show, but most were off screwing around in the hallway. Needless to say, there will be much yelling tonight.

And, for those of you who are unaware (and decidedly stupid, ignorant, etc.), Woohu has changed its format. How amazing.

I suppose I should put something in about MORP. So:
I survived, Jesse wasn't excessively clingy, the music was OK, and Justin broke up with his girlfriend. Yup, that's about it (and hopefully blunt enough for Jessika's mind).

5 worthless words | help me

:: 2004 4 December :: 4.57pm

Ok so im back..yeah

11/29/04
Wake up at 4 get ready and leave on 6 pm flight to Tucson. Arrive in Tucson at 11 and go to hotel. Then go to U of A (University of Arizona) and check oujt campus....i want to go there sooo badly...then go to NOAO building. Drive out to Suwaro national park and then drive back and go to El Charros for dinner.

11/30/04

Wake up and go to NOAO. Take 11 :00 shuttle to Kitt Peak. Meet Dr. Steve Howell, Dr. Steven Croft and several other people. Become aqainted to the Coude Feed Telescope and tour the 2.1 meter and 4 meter telescopes. Settle into dorms. Eat dinner then go up to coude feed till 5 am.

12/1/04
Go to sleep at 6 am and wake up at 1 pm. Make final list...and go check out Mcmath Pearce Telescope (Sol Telescope) Brandon and Miles from Kentuck...*drool*..y.......anyways.....Made master list for next night. Eat dinner say goodby to Miles and BRandon *sob...drool....sob*...go up to Coude Feed and work till 7 am...eh.....and everyone is cranky....

12/2/04
Goto sleep at 7 wake up at 9ish pack and argue with Kimmerlee...take some pictures..Leave on 11 oclock shuttle...say goodby to Kitt Peak *sob* Meet car rental dude at NOAO...he was so cool and Names Justin....and he gave us the Kia Optima...it only had 11 miles on it when we got it...fresh off the lot...mwahhahahah... Then shopping....and then we ate at Olive Garden...yum...high tailed it to the airport...and took flight home...

oh and i did all this on 75$.....yeah....can you say streached dollars?

Sometime during all this i learned how to croshay, bought 10$ of stuff at wal*mart and became totaly disgusted with Mrs.Thomas and Kimmerlee.....Why you ask? Well they wouldnt stop going on about how you cant trust the maid service down there...and kim didnt want to live there because she didnt want to be the minority....? That totaly relivant...then she was like...i dont like mexicans...and i asked her why she said just cause they way they all are.....*chokes her*....i almost exploded....arg...i think ethnic diversity is great and wish we had more here....arg....she was just so everyday about it.....sorry ranting..its just one of those things that just bugs me to an extream...

Then friday i slept in and decided not to go to school.....yeah....

Oh and my dad decided to blame me for him loosing his xmas spirit...cause i told him i didnt want the tree thingy under my window cause i cant sleep and it makes me parinoid.....

THEN we had this large argument over me saying i didnt want anything for xmas.....mainly cause no matter what i ask for i know i wont get it and its not even the meaning of xmas...matter of fact christ wasnt even born in december it was like july...so im like...tell me the real date and then we can have a party for christ not half parties that are comercilized to hell....thank you satan for the garlends by the by....*twitch*....holidays are depressing....

OH the mall thing didnt happen today cause when i asked dad if i could meet some people at the mall he gave me this whole speal about how we are too dirt poor for me to walk to the mall and window shop...obviously this costs to much?

Yes...i dunno...the xmas stroll lost its luster this year....Gwen ,Jessika and Nick were all gone so i was kinda alone till like 7:30 when kayleen came..but then i had to leave at 8 to go get roxan from bobs..then go back to the xmas stroll make and appearence and then to the car....oh and i spent 10$ on subway , asteamer and some minni doughnut......kill me dad its cheaper for you.

3 worthless words | help me

justadreamer

:: 2004 4 December :: 3.23pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: "The Runaway" - Something Corporate

You better not, you better not run...
I don't deserve him. Did they think I was kidding when I said that? And yet they turn around and pretty much tell me the exact thing, even after denying me the pleasure of just accepting that fact and moving on before he could get anymore attached to me. That would be unfair to him though. And even after everything I've put him through he's still there claiming to love me.

So what do I do when I realize that I might just love him as well? My mind begins to tell me that I shouldn't trust him, he's lying to me, he doesn't really love me. Do you know how hard it is to try and convince yourself that you're lying to yourself? Especially when you're so used to just accepting the lies.

They say trust your instincts, but if I do that now, will I be ruining something great? They said he's not shallow enough to just say those things without meaning them. He says those kinds of things sometimes, but sometimes it feels like he doesn't even know me, that he doesn't even care.

Does he know that's how he makes me feel? Does he know that sometimes I just wish he could see through my facade so that maybe he'll know how I'm really feeling? That sometimes I want nothing more than for him to just look at me and KNOW that there's something wrong? Maybe we haven't been close enough for that kind of thing to have taken place yet, but I wish. I wish that I could just be completely see through so everyone will just know how much I'm suffering even if I don't really seem to have a reason.

Sometimes I could just scream from frustration. I shouldn't pay any mind to these thoughts. It's so hard to ignore them, though.

I hate the way I feel, and I hate the way I look. I'm going to change it. So why am I sitting here? Because I'm too lazy to make a stand and change. I'll do it though. I just have to find a way. And I will. Maybe then I'll feel like I deserve something good for once.

My mind is so mixed up I can't even keep up with a steady stream of thoughts. I need to do my math work, but won't it wait until Satuday School? Yes, I have to go to Saturday School because I get sick so easily and I've missed over 10 days of school. I am a weak person with a weak immune system.

But I have to go now. I've got to go do.. something. I don't know what yet, but I'll figure it out.

Be safe everyone.

3 worthless words | help me

:: 2004 3 December :: 1.54pm
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: The Christmas Song

Sentries guarding the water hole
Sometimes it's obvious that our rights are being compromised. No, that wasn't a jab at our political leader, though it may as well be.

Mi papi fixed the Internet connection last night, and then decided to Google his name. So, I couldn't get on last night (nor did I feel much necessity to) because there were three million some results for him.

Play rehearsal was... eventful last night. First, we got the lid on our trunk, so our blocking changed yet again. And, because of the way the lid is secured, it also made a few life attempts on us. I was told it almost took my head off, but Mike stopped it (what a guy, eh? :P ). One of our swords broke in the crescendo of action. They're all made of lightweight wood; it was bound to happen. We skipped over about a page of dialogue, but nothing was really screwed up. I almost knocked the sun down, and Bo hit a note much higher than anyone's range (a fluke, but startling nonetheless). Oh, and light and sound were there to observe. Grand ol' time.

So, MORP's tonight, and I'm thinking that it won't be as bad as I envisioned. Jesse's admitted that she can't dance much (leaving me the oppertunity to be social with others...), and we're NOT going to Golden Corral (thank god... buffets are disgusting). Besides, it's only four hours out of my life.

I need to call some of you for ticket purchases. I have to sell for the show, so if you can decide what day you want to go, then I can presell so you get in. Pick a date... Pick two, or come all three nights. Our department needs the money.

1 worthless word | help me

:: 2004 2 December :: 1.32pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: "Hammering in My Head" - Garbage

Santa Claus is dead, kids.
Though I'd love to be enraptured by the Christmas spirit, I am currently busy in other affairs. Mostly, the play has taken over my life. There are, however other causes, most of which I find no purpose in discussing.

Our Internet connection is dead at the house again (has been since Tuesday afternoon), so I can't really talk to anybody unless the phone is used.

I've got two injuries from the same blocking in the play. I'm supposed to stab at Bo with a sword, then he takes the sword, shoves me foreward, and I do a stage dive. Two days ago, I slid across the stage as I fell, and I got a REALLY bad canvas burn. Last night, I landed strange and my pinky folded much too far back, and now it's pretty well immobile.

Lacey hasn't called me in a week... I'm surprised, really. She always complains that she misses me and she can't wait to come home, and yet she hasn't called for anything. Maybe she's finally becoming independent. How nice for her.

I think I'll do something "productive" now.

:: 2004 30 November :: 1.58pm
:: Mood: pleasantly dispositioned
:: Music: Brahms' Sonata No. 3 in f minor, Op. 5

Sundried tomatoes have so much flavor.
^ For future cooking projects

Rehearsal felt so disgusting yesterday. I don't know why, but we were horribly flat. On the plus side, we started work with props.

I'm so glad that computer lit. turned into a study hall for me (I actually stay current on my assignments, giving me plenty of free time) because I have no time after school today. I forgot that pep band was rehearsing today, plus I have piano lessons and play rehearsal. The parents also want me to get a haircut... something that's likely not to happen today.

My overall moody attitude has (at least for the moment) dissipated. Since we're headed toward the last quarter moon, I should be generally pleasant. Plus, the show ends on a new moon!! It's perfect timing in my life. Beautiful indeed.

Well, class will be ending soon, so I guess I should say 'ta.

JustADreamer

:: 2004 30 November :: 11.35am
:: Music: Simple And Clean (in my mind)

Just finished with a Math Benchmark thing. I think I did well on it, except for maybe one or two questions. This class is amazingly dull sometimes, but sometimes it is amazingly funny.

I'm so happy. I still don't want to write about what (oh, wait, not everyone reads my other journals) but I am happy. That's what counts. Maybe I'll save it for a friends only entry. <3

So, what do you do when second best becomes first?

It stormed really bad this morning. I ignored it for a little while, but then it got worse, so I gave in to my wimpiness and went and laid down by my mom. I can't help it that night storms scare me. They just do. So here I am. Me, same old, same old.

Meh. I have a headache. I'm guessing that I probably won't have too much to eat for lunch because we're out of caesar dressing and caesar croutons, therefore I have RANCH dressing, which wouldn't be so bad if I still had caesar croutons instead of RANCH croutons which just happen to taste really weird.

But, yes. I'm still happy. Happy, happy. I -could- be happier, true, but I'm still happy regardless. I've got my reasons. How about anyone reading this? Is there any life out there? Are you happy, sad? What reason do you have to be so? Unless, you know, you can't say, like I can't say. XD

Wow. Not many faces in this entry. Amazing, considering I typed with mostly faces yesterday afternoon to my friends.

My leg is falling asleep. 4 minutes 'til the bell.

Be safe, everyone, and happy. <3 Much love.
-Ash

:: 2004 29 November :: 2.01pm
:: Mood: uncomfortable

Excuse the mess... and the blood as well
I've been horribly moody for the past week... Must have been the full moon.

Thanksgiving was OK. We went to the great aunt and uncle's house... They were leaving for Spokane the next day and they didn't give us leftovers. It's annoying A) because I really like Thanksgiving food and B) because it's all going to waste.

Whitney and I talked about Jesse's clinginess today. It's frightful how that girl is, and I continue to regret saying yes to MORP with her... Kaitlin would have been such a better date.

Our volleyball team lost our first game today... finally the ranks have begun to break down. People are going out of position and arguing... It's general chaos. I really like Ben though. He seems to keep things together for us. Not to mention he's gorgeous... Gah, there are a lot of good looking guys that happen to have lockers close to mine in gym... :P

I really want to go to rehearsal!! The Fantasticks is the only thing I look forward to in the day. I don't even value sleep right now... That's how screwed up my feelings are. I've realized that it has become my escape to depression, and avoiding sleep... well it doesn't exactly solve anything either, but it keeps me somewhat sane. I need readjustment. And as much as I'd love to be in a relationship right now... that may certainly screw things up even more, considering my social position at the moment.

Life is bloody wonderful when you're not trying to destroy something.

If only that feeling could last more than minutes.

darksworddancer

:: 2004 27 November :: 10.11pm

Take the Kingdom Hearts personality quiz, and visit Castle Diqueria.

Ashely hindoin has a cell!!!!!!! BAH...i cant shake it....we set up the xmas tree....And im babysitting tonight...yay!...2 l;ittle kids till like 2 am...so yeah..,bah

:: 2004 27 November :: 1.01am

2 Days till i leave!.....but...yeah...im eh...

Everytime i start to be happy i want to cry...cause of mikki...it sucks..god damnit.

Kimmerllee and i were in the paper today twas great.....

Im sad....not a big xmas stroll group thisyear...like 3 or 4 people...bah...