Thank you for destroying me.

 

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:: 2005 15 September :: 7.43 am

soi just went in the bathroom and this girl wished me a happy birthday, but i was like it's not my birthday. apparently it's someones birthday tho. and then she left and i realized that today is my half birthday. wierd huh?

Open your eyes


:: 2005 14 September :: 6.40 pm

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9 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 14 September :: 4.02 pm

i might be coming home for the weekend. that is a very big MIGHT. it all depends on if i can get home on the ferry because the train and bus routes are fucked up and interfere with my classes.

Open your eyes


:: 2005 14 September :: 12.30 pm

pizza hut equals mmm mmmm tasty goodness

Open your eyes


:: 2005 13 September :: 8.43 pm

so it's rather balmy over here. today the hi was 88 and tomorrow it is 74. for gods sake, we are in wisconsin and it's september. a complete flip from michigan weather for me tho. bah.

in other news, mike said he would call me tomorrow!

Open your eyes


:: 2005 13 September :: 7.42 pm
:: Mood: complacent

You don't know the first thing about love, because you don't understand compromise.
Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words.


:: 2005 13 September :: 6.57 pm
:: Music: The Moldy Peaches- NYC is a Grave Yard

cutest thing ever.
so one o f the organizations on campus put mugs at our doors that say you've been mugged on them. i think it is hilarious.

by anychance... do you think that maybe icecream cones are made of some hybrid edible version of like paper and styrofoam?

2 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 13 September :: 4.56 pm

i was looking at dennis' profile interests and i realized.... i turned him into a whore.

aside from that i didn't realize my lab class started at 3:05, i thought it started at 4:05 so i saw at 3:05 that i was supposed to be there and ran to class, but i was locked out and the teacher looked scary so i didn't knock. and i missed my lab class. can you say fucked?

Open your eyes


:: 2005 13 September :: 2.41 pm

sex is essential. i crave it like a lioness in heat and my boyfriend is still in texas. and i probably won't see him until christmas. masterbation gets old after a while. i need some sex. send me sex dammit!

4 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 13 September :: 9.59 am

so right now i am supposed to be in intro to political thought... but i think i am going to drop that class, and take something interesting. don't get me wrong... i love politics, but the teacher blows. and thus i am skipping, along with sam and jackie.

Open your eyes


:: 2005 11 September :: 9.51 pm

and then he decided not to talk to me...

Open your eyes


:: 2005 11 September :: 11.45 am

in the end maybe i am just a masochist. i am when it comes to sports, so why would it not be the same for a relationship. charlie, you are such a dear and what you said really helped. also i realized that all it probably comes down to is i love him, and i am afraid that he will never love me back. this is hard on both of us but most likely harder on him because i make it that way. neither of us asked for this to happen, but it did. it was an intervention, i just hope that we can help each other before we destroy ourselves.

2 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 10 September :: 3.53 pm
:: Mood: useless
:: Music: Laura Love- Punctured and hissing

mike and i are fighting. i have cried for at least 10 minutes everyday since wednesday, at least. i feel like a stupid child and like mike is some hardened old man. everything between us is so different now. since i got to school it feels as though i am just a nuisance. that is why i cried today. i don't think i am even going to see him before christmas. the thought kills me. it makes me cry everytime i think about it. and there isn't a damn thing i can do. i feel like he wants me to just go away and the thought of us being apart just kills.

it's worse when everyone around me is going home to see their boyfriends and their families. i thought i could handle this. why is it different? it isn't worth my while to go home, but i don't have anything to keep me here. and there isn't anywhere to go either. maybe it's just because i haven't found any friends but it just feels like high school. i hated high school. i am sick of being alone. i am sick of feeling like nobody wants me around.

1 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 9 September :: 9.39 pm

orange juice is soo gross. i need something to do. someone should drive 5 hours and visit my sorry ass. i am so bored. something needs to happen. i think next year i am going to transfer to a different school. somewhere closer to mike, then i can get a part time job and just live with him. who knows. that's the ideal thing i suppose. idk. we will see, time will tell.

why is orange juice so gross???

Open your eyes


:: 2005 9 September :: 7.47 pm
:: Music: Blink 182- Stay together for the kids

question of the night... should i go and work out? my roomie is at a cross country meet until like 10 or 11 and the other girls i talk to are at a party, so once again i am in my room... by my lonesome. uh yeah. so i can do homework or go to the tarc.

maybe i will do french and then go to the tarc. maybe. or i could just go get some fucking pizza.

Open your eyes

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