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2002 2 August :: 9.50 pm
:: Mood: tired
i am so sad
i was supposed to go to a concert tonight and i didn't because my ride fell out. grr.
i am tired and i hate band. grr.
okay tired. i am going to make jessa leave soon
love you
Open your eyes |
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2002 2 August :: 6.00 pm
I am wuitting band i am so sick of color gaurd and their bull shit. fuck them
Open your eyes |
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2002 1 August :: 6.51 pm
:: Mood: numb
i want to leave but i have no where to go
i want to go home but i have no where to go home to
i want to love but i have no one to love
i want to be loved but the entire world hates me
i'd put on my face but i have no reason to wear it
i would scream for help but noone will hear me
this is the pain i know and have no one to help me bare it but then again i wouldn't even wish this suffering on my worst enemy.
may the world love you for it lothes me
may you be loved for i can't be loved
may you be happy for i cans't have joy
may you have a home to be loved in for i am not wanted in mine
may your life be cherished for the world may need you someday
Open your eyes |
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2002 1 August :: 10.19 am
okay here are quisses since i have nothing better to do...
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nooo i went down from 50% oh wait maybe that's a good thing.
Damn, J-Lo! You are...
69%
dateable! Attractive and confident, witty and charming, a healthy ambrosia-based diet... you're wanted in the 48 contiguous states, you slayer. Call me. Seduce me. Make me a man (or woman.) Not only do you know how to turn a guy's (or girl's) engines on, but you also know how to oil, lube and rotate it. You put the "elation" back into "relationship," and the "night" back into "one-night stand."
Open your eyes |
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2002 1 August :: 10.09 am
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: Boxcar race-- I feel so
i am skipping band camp today. I probly should be there considering i need to know where i am supposed to go but i am in too much pain. i could barely get out of bed to come down stairs because my muscles are so friggin tense. i am about tired as all hell right now. i went to dee's house yesterday. we might go shopping tonight.
to morrow is the performance and awards. i need to give bethany her necklace. i may be getting the blonde award but i will wind up with the lobster award i knnow it. lol. anyways see ya'll homies tomorrow if i decide to go back.
Open your eyes |
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2002 31 July :: 8.51 pm
:: Mood: sunburnt--owwww
:: Music: the nair song-- by me
i wrote this really corny song about nair but it is sas funny as all hell so it works. i am getting my hair permed four days after school starts but here are today's quiz results:
Which of Andrew's Friends are You?
Which tarot card are you?
oh and geuss what I HATE BAND CAMP
Open your eyes |
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2002 29 July :: 9.28 pm
:: Mood: drained
yes i think drained puts it well. today was band camp day one... i got burnt and the worst part is it was raining half the day. grrr.
that sucks monky turds. i am tired and sore. i think after marching season i am going to drop but hey i could always drop now and save $70. that would be smart.oh well i shall go shopping with dee in a few weeks before school starts and i have a homecoming date if i don't have anyone to go with! yaeah go me whoohu.
anyways i'm outie for now. love yall
josi
2 find grace |
Open your eyes |
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2002 26 July :: 11.30 pm
:: Mood: accomplished
hey yeah guess what i just watched my favourite show. Undressed!
i wrote my song for ryan it's strange but it's true so it works working on another one soon. g2g sleep. so tired. love you
Open your eyes |
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2002 26 July :: 5.24 pm
fuck this place. my head is spinning but hey guess what i am getting my stomach peirced. hell yeah!
anyways yeah i am leaving now
Open your eyes |
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2002 26 July :: 2.29 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: the most depressing song in the world
i am getting sadder and sadder... tomorrow i will go to jessa's and probly break into tears over nothing apearant although it will be because i miss gary. as for jessa, i was wrong it's not all your doing alot of it was from ryan although he doesn't know it and the only reason you did is because you showed me how to live life to the fullest. my dad is leaving again this weekend and i am stuck with my mother. yes you people do mean alot to me, since you are supportive but all of this pain isn't worth the trouble.
i will have to 'put on the face' as gunny puts it and make believe that i'm not the 10th grader who just wants to be loved by someone like she was when her best friend was alive 7 years ago.
although i have thought of a zillion different was to get rid of this life and this pain i still am to scared, it's like when you were a kid and you were afraid to play with your favorite barbie doll because you thought it would be 'fun' to cut her hair and you knew your parents would kill you. i can't bring myself to it because i'm afraid if i didn't die my parents would send me to an institution.
so i just suck it in and wait till they put me on drugs
yay go me
back to work
1 find grace |
Open your eyes |
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2002 25 July :: 9.27 pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: song for ryan-- to be made by me
i want to cry right now. unforetunatly i can't. the shell must be resealed to disapoint ryan and his freaking dum ass friends. my only wish is to never let him see me cry. that won't happen though.i have gotten soft damn you jessica, i am now a socialite and i have feelings. that sucks. i was doing so well traping them inside until i raged with fury. my love died two days from now seven years ago and as the hours pass i miss him more and i hurt more inside. why did you have to leave and why did you put this curse on me. was it to protect from other men so that one day we may be together again or is this just an aweful figment of my imagination?
no matter what i must try to recap the feeling jar and compress them away from your lovely eyes my sweet ryan. if only i could take bake those words and if you didn't know how much i truely care. there is still pain. < and not just the grumbling of my stomach-- damn i am hungry>
Anyways i talked to darby for the first time yesterday, and i spent the night at jessica's.
i saw josh and andy that was fun.. lol
charlie came over for like two hours. yay.
today i talked to my lovely alex. i love that boy. he is going to help me with enchanting a few o fmy possesesions for the good of my family and me ;well mostly me
anyways i need to find my bank information so i can go shopping this weekend.
7 find grace |
Open your eyes |
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2002 25 July :: 9.21 pm
:: Mood: blank
Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative
Open your eyes |
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2002 24 July :: 2.46 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: weezer- photograph
Gary
I am getting rather sad at the moment. i was thinking omg its only 3 days until the aniversary of gary's death. i even started crying. i miss him so much.
i would do anything to have him come back. :< tear, cry, sad >:
we had gaurd practice for 4hours last night. everything is planned and my nick name is Barbie; yay go me.
i shall have a rough time on saturday and obsorbe sadness through the day. Hey maybe i can go put a flower on his grave -- that would be nice. oh well more later
joslyn 'barbie' reynolds
Open your eyes |
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2002 23 July :: 4.40 pm
yay party
You enjoy life, humor, and being exuberant. Wherever you go you usually find yourself stealing the spotlight without even trying. You love to let go and have fun.
Find out your color at Stvlive.com!
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6 find grace |
Open your eyes |
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2002 23 July :: 2.14 pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Dashboard confessionals--
guess what i have been possesed by a fucking bitchy chearleader.
yay go me.
damn pizza hut won't deliver me a fucking pizza. stupid bitches i want a mother f-ing pizza.
grr..
oh well i will ask my mother to get me one when she is coming home from work.
band camp is 6 days away. dear lord save my soul. i am scared.
my room should hopefully be done by the time school starts. that would be nice. dad left ohio at 11 am so he wont be home until after color guard tonight. yay
somone feed me wahhhhh.
damn them. and their conformist society. grr. oh well i shall go make macaroni and cheese.
blah
Open your eyes |
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