My soul (or lack thereof)

:: 2005 7 February :: 11.53pm

All I want to do is be with my Mat. Why is that so hard to do?

:: 2005 7 February :: 9.28pm

Eisley's new CD comes out tomorrow.

Listen! Please! Or just click it and close it again. Whatever you want.

:: 2005 7 February :: 7.43pm

I miss Benjamin Arthur. That's sad. The only time I usually saw him was at lunch and before school. Sob.

In other news, I've been trying to beat solitare on my iPod since I got it. I thought it was impossible.

It says "We have a winner!" I just can't hold my camera steady or straight.

Story of my life.

I love you all.

:: 2005 6 February :: 2.52pm

What? No words of wisdom?

4 people said | talk to me

:: 2005 6 February :: 12.09pm

Friday. Right after school, I went with Nick and Ben to pick up their paychecks. We went to Best Buy then went back to Ben's house. I got home at 1ish.

Yesterday. Ben picked me up and we went to Nick's. We hung around there then went to Ben's. Nick bought me a milkshake and I didn't fall asleep. I got home around 12:30.

Cool weekend.

Today I was thinking of finding stuff to put in the purse Ashley got me and maybe do my homework. Maybe.

I love you all.

2 people said | talk to me

:: 2005 5 February :: 12.59am

Hey.

I am thankful.

Shinigami

:: 2005 4 February :: 4.52pm
:: Music: Rie Fu - Life is like a Boat

What makes a person special? What makes the average person more than average? Who can say who's special and who's not? And I'm not talking about special ED here. Do they have to do something spectacular to be special? To be amazing? To be wonderful? To be awesome? How can a normal person become someone like that? Someone that everyone loves? Someone who loves themself? How do you know that you're special and really believe it? How can you judge something like that?

Angel_Bob

:: 2005 3 February :: 10.55pm

"If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

Hemingway had a very pessimistic view of the world. I'm not surprised he shot himself.

I just don't see why. Why have such a negative outlook on everything?

7 people said | talk to me

:: 2005 3 February :: 9.45am

Yay! Mat's coming to see me this weekend!

:: 2005 2 February :: 6.09pm

It might be a good idea to stop reading now.
I weighed myself a while ago at Ben's house. I was wearing heavy jeans so it didn't really count but it came out to 106 pounds. The other day, I decided to weigh myself with pajamas on because I knew the other weight was faulty. I weighed 102. Which was perfectly cool because I knew I had probably gained weight.

Here's where you should stop reading if your 23rd pair of chromosomes aren't twins. I'm warning you. Really. If your sex doesn't begin with the letter "f" you should not read this. In fact, maybe no one should read it at all.
Read more..

I can't wait until I ~~can~~ get married. That came out of nowhere, I know, but it's been on my mind since I turned 18.

I love you all.

7 people said | talk to me

:: 2005 1 February :: 8.11pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Last Days of April for some reason.

It was always you for me. Nothing could change it. Me. Was there ever me for you? It's always changing.
Will aspirins and alcohol someway decrease the ache?

I am happy. I am right where I always have dreamed to be.

We're seniors. You realize that? This is our last semester of our last year of high school. Thank God.

We're off to the "real world" after this.

Thank God.

Seriously. Thank Him once in a while.

I love you all.

P.S. As if I would care for someone other than you.

:: 2005 1 February :: 5.41pm

Work needs to give me some more time off. I need to do homework and sleep. Food is good sometimes too.

Shinigami

:: 2005 31 January :: 1.33am
:: Music: Rie Fu - Life is like a Boat

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who�s gonna comfort me and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can�t escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves will guide you through another day

Tooku de iki o shiteru
Toome ni natta mitai
Kurayami ni omoeta kedo
Mekaku shisareteta dake

Inori o sasagete
Atarashii hi o matsu
Asayaka ni hikaru umi
Sono hate made e

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don�t give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you will follow me and keep me strong

Hito no kokoro wa utsuri yuku
Mukedashitaku naru
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de
Fune o tsureteku

And every time I see your face
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars
And soon I can see the shore

Ah, I can see the shore?
When will I see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I�d feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you and keep you strong

Tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku
Odayakana hi mo
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de
Fune o terashiasu

Inori o sasagete
Atarashii hi o matsu
Asayaka ni hikaru umi
Sono hate made

And every time I see your face
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars
And soon I can see the shore

Unmei no mune o kogi
Nami wa tsugi kara tsugi e to
Watashitachi o osou kedo
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne
Dore mo suteki na tabi ne

:: 2005 30 January :: 11.57pm

I love Nick.

Very very much.

So much, in fact, that this is rather inadequate. Just as I feel at times.

I love you, Nick. Lots of oodles of lots.

:: 2005 30 January :: 11.11am

Good morning
I've got nothing better to do.

Read more..

I love you all.