Kandy

All about me... what's left anyways...

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Kandy

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:: 2007 13 June :: 8.25pm

This has been a rough week.
I've been battling a headache for 2.5 days.
The heat is really getting to me.
The forcast shows 94 for like Monday.
With rain.
How fucking retarded.

I wish every day could be like my birthday, and the night leading into my birthday.
They were the best couple of days.

:: 2007 12 June :: 8.39am
:: Mood: excited

My birthday is in 5 days.
I'm excited.
I'll be able to do stuff, like buy ciggarettes and porn, which I will most likely never have to buy.
But I'm going to get my dad some smokes for Father's day, seems how it's that same day n all. lol.
I start waitressing at the Village Inn next week I think. Pretty sweet. That goes with the whole being 18 thing too. lol.
Idk, pretty much that's all I got for now I guess. Not much happened this week.
I did catch some fish yesterday though. pretty sweet. Tried to catch me a snake but I dont think it was hungry...

Welp I'm off. I need to apply for Finacial Aid. I should get an ass load of money from that! I'm excited!

4 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 9 June :: 9.03pm

I went with my mom and my aunt to take my grandma some of her things at the adult care home.
The guy told us that while we were gone, she kept asking if he could call one of her daughters because her appointment was over.
It was extremely sad.
And then when we walked in, she kept asking when we were going to take her home.
And she'd start crying as soon as we told her that she had to stay.
She'd ask us why a dozen times.
It was so hard having her ask me that.
Her dimensia is getting worse.
She thinks that she fell this friday, and not last friday.
And doesn't understand why she's in the adult care.

It was seriously heartbreaking.
And then I come home to things out of place, my front door wide open.
I guess Im just frustrated.

7 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 9 June :: 1.57pm

I had a very good birthday.
Plans changed a little bit, but it was still a very good day.
I went to the movies last night and saw Knocked up.
I thought it was pretty funny.
I didn't get to go to B-Dubs like I had anticipated, but what can ya do.
I'm not going to make a big deal of it.

My grandmother was put in an adult care facility.
Her house is going to be put up for sale.
And my uncle cut his finger off yesterday.

I don't know if I can deal with my grandma being in a place like that.
I don't know if I can go through that again.
I watched my grandma vanzoest in an adult care/nursing home facility, and it broke my heart.
It was horrible.

:: 2007 8 June :: 1.49am

Right now I am using my new birthday gift.
I like my birthday.
My birthday gift from Michael was a wireless keyboard, mouse and speaker set.
It's fancy.
I love him!
He told me that he was going to get me the monitor I have been wanting for like ever now, but they didn't have the one I wanted.
He came home from work at like 11:30.
I don't know if it was because he had a lack of sleep today or if it's because it's my birthday.
I had a little birthday party at work.
I got a barbie cake. Its the one with the barbie in the middle and then the dress is the cake.
It was sweet.
I got an inflatable monkey.
A fuzzy pink tiara.
A fuzzy blue fan.
Scented bubbles. (Mint, Chocolate and Strawberry).
This will be one of the most memorable birthdays!
And I'm only twenty.
God, I feel really damn old. hahaha

Anyway it is time for me to go to bed so that I can get up really early and get the stuff done that I need to get done.
It's my birthday bitches!

3 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 4 June :: 4.04pm

Stupid jeans.
I tell ya what.
I'm going to stop wearing them all together.
2 pairs of jeans ruined in 2 days.
Yesterday I noticed that my new jeans, that I have only worn twice mind you, have tears in the top inside corners of the back pockets.
Today Christine was being hooker trash and decided that she'd be funny and tap this oil thing on the pin machine while I was reaching up to fill the pin tub, and she got oil all over my hand, and my jeans.
So now I have this big huge yellow oil stain.
Oh well.
I have the one pair soaked in SHOUT right now. Hopefully that will do the trick.
Otherwise, I'm making that fat bitch buy me a new pair of jeans.
I'm crabby if you haven't noticed.
I have friday off of work.
And if you're smart, you'll know why.
I'm not sure if Carley and I are still on for Red Lobster or not.
I'll be too poor, considering I'll only have a 3 days check this week because my lazy ass never got up friday morning.
Well I did, but it wasn't to my alarm.
It was to Mike saying "what the fuck are you still doing here?"
Yep. So I spent the day in bed with him because I'm a lazy fuck.
And that is pretty much where I spent most of my weekend.
Other than saturday afternoon when I was at the ER with my grandmother.
She fell and broke her left arm just below her shoulder.
Has a black eye.
And is in pretty rough shape.

9 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 1 June :: 6.46pm

My new favorite food.
Grilled cheese and spaghetti sauce.

1 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 1 June :: 1.19pm

A serious update on my behalf. If you don't like it, piss off.
In some ways I feel like I have messed up my life, yet I feel like I have everything I need and I'm happy.
I have lead it in a path that would take a very long time to reconstruct if such events happened that would cause me to fall flat on my ass.
I know that if Mike and I ever split up, I wouldn't be the same.
It would take me a very long time to get over it and even then, I don't think I could fully get over it.
I used to be a pretty independent person.
I could hold my own, and I didn't need a guy there all the time.
But I was very unhappy and I made a lot of decisions that I'm not proud of.
I let my mother get the best of me.
I am very happy with Mike, but sometimes I feel like I'm not cut out for this whole relationship thing.
Maybe its that I'm still in shock that we have been together for 19 months.
Whatever the reason is, it doesn't explain why I keep screwing up.
Why I can't put my sarcastic, bitter, 'could-give-a-fuck-less' attitude in the closet.
I feel like I have to do everything I can to see how long before he breaks.
I feel like I keep screwing up all the time, or saying the wrong things, to see what will happen.
To see if he's had the last straw.
Why does my brain have to be so cluster-fucked with thoughts and emotions all the time.
Guh!

1 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 31 May :: 2.55pm

The heat has me cranky and tired.
Im not very much fun to be around.
Today was a miserable day at work.
Oh and let me tell ya if I felt like typing out how my day went, trust me you'd get every last detail.
So I will just leave it at this.
Christine is a fat fucking lazy skank ass that smells like bad fish and dirty socks.

Anyway.
Baseball tonight in Palo.
Woohaa!
Im too tired to even sit here.

8 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 28 May :: 11.18pm
:: Mood: dorky

RAWR!!!!
i am avoiding doing my homework because every week that it gets closer to the end of the quarter the less interested i am in being in the high rise and more interested i am in being with my sweetie.

i supose i should write this last paer though and get it doen before mike calls me on his way to work. BAH!!! i am sooo sick of stupid papers.

1 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 28 May :: 10.49pm

Thoughts on my birthday
As my birthday nears, I'm not as excited as I was last week or the week before.
It's not going to be as grand as I had anticipated because more than likely I won't be able to afford to do anything.
I'll be taking the day off of work, but it won't be to do anything I'd like to or will be enjoying.
Something has me in a mood right now.
Well more like all day.
Mike told me that he'd try to make my birthday special for me without having to go out and spend money.
It was sweet.
This morning he woke me up at about 2, and told me that he thought we needed to spend some quality time together.
That he wanted me to be awake with him and watch a movie and cuddle.

Hopefully Jamie quit calling Carley.
And I also hope what Mike and I said to him, didn't make matters worse.
Mike started in when he called me a 'fucking dead beat'.

3 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 26 May :: 6.19pm

So no fair with Carley today.
That bummed me out.
I was really looking forward to it.
Instead I went to the Car show, ate elephant ears and watched the smoke show with Mike and Darielle (his daughter).
Now I am waiting for Buc and Mike to get back with the car so I can go to dinner with my dad, sister and brother in law.
My arms are cold and tired.

:: 2007 25 May :: 8.34pm

So my tara and my katelyn have finally graduated.
And still 2 years later, I do NOT miss high school at all.
It was fun while it lasted, but it was time to move on.

Blazin' buffalo & Ranch Dorito's are my new favorite.
Except they need more of a ranch flavor to them.

Right now Wayne is here looking at Mike's truck.
He's interested in buying it.
My Carley is coming over tomorrow!
We're going to Sheridan Fair it up!
There's PONIES!
It's a little rinky dink springfest.

I also have to make time for my sister and brother-in-law.
Perhaps they will join us all at the fair tomorrow.
oOoh!

1 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 24 May :: 1.02pm

Graduation tonight!
I'm so excited!
My open house isnt until July 21st though. I still have to call around to get some of your addresses so I can send you an invite. Should be a grand ol' time though.
YAY!!!=)

1 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 22 May :: 5.27am

Baseball 4 nights a week is going to be the death of me.
My birthday is nearing.
17 days actually.
Im way excited.
Red Lobster for Carley and I!
Not sure what else though.
Mike isn't getting very excited about my birthday.
Oh well.

Tara and Katie Graduate on Thursday!
Makes me feel old.

:: 2007 22 May :: 12.36am

in the word's of avril.... "I'm the mother fucking princess!"

:: 2007 20 May :: 10.46pm

i felt like shit... i do feel like shit.
but then i watched the music video on jackie's wall and it made me feel better.

but i still feel horrible and i want to fucking get drunk so i don't have to feel anything.

:: 2007 18 May :: 3.11pm

Things seem to be holding themselves together.
I went back to work on monday.
It was a little rough trying to get back in the swing of things, but I managed to get myself through the week.
I realized that I function better if I sleep less.
Actually, I have a hard time falling asleep or feeling tired before 11:00.
My last day through Peoplelink is the 28th, and then I transfer to Manpower.
Unless GRC decides that they want to hire me in full time.
I sent a rather lengthy email to the head HR personnel today.
I thoroughly explained my reasonings behind why I believe I should be hired in, with details of what my daily tasks entale.
I, being a temp shouldn't be doing the computer update, the paper work, making labels, or full-time employee annual testing. (There are other tasks but my mind fails to remember them).
I also became line leader when I returned back to work, because Micki went to Rockford to work on third shift..
Total crock if you ask me.
I care about my job because I fear losing it, but I don't care enough to blow or kiss ass to get a raise or promotion.
I signed a job posting to work in service, but I won't get it.
I spent 3 hours doing computer testing today and then I was frowned upon because my line was behind.
Not my fault by the way.

Mike got his lay off slip last night.

Sorry, I am just in the mood to piss and moan about whatever I possibly can.
It started at 6:00 this AM.

3 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 14 May :: 11.48pm

The doctors think my dad might have prostate cancer. I was reading up on it today and nowhere did I read that it could be fairly survivable the only thing I read was that people can live up to a couple years after they are diagnosed. I really don't want to lose my dad the same way I saw my grandfather go.

3 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 14 May :: 9.23pm

little to my roommates knowledge... we are having an R.A. and a mediator come over so this post-it bull shit will stop...

TONIGHT!!!

3 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 14 May :: 5.15am

I go back to work today.
Im not that excited about it.
I enjoyed being laid off but the lack of money sucked.
Unemployment was paying shit.
Mike is losing his job in two weeks.
Its been awhile since I've seen 5 AM.
And I think I got up way too early.
I slept wrong on my neck.
If you haven't noticed I feel like complaining right now.
Meh, whats the use.

:: 2007 3 May :: 12.01am

I got called a hussy by a kid around the age of ten today.
Little bastard.

Baseball starts tomorrow!
Woo-ha..
Little kids attempting to play baseball.
I have a feeling its going to be about the same as them attempting to play soccer.
Watching 8 year olds play soccer/baseball, is worse than watching the special olympics.

Anyway, my bed is calling my name..

2 No way... | Tell me...

:: 2007 30 April :: 11.29pm

From 11 last night until 5 this afternoon was the longest I have ever gone without speaking to or seeing Michael in the last 18 months.
It was really hard for me.
But when I saw him, I realized how lucky I am for what I have with him.
I also realized, that I don't ever want to lose him.
And that I am in this relationship until death.

:: 2007 30 April :: 12.05am
:: Music: Crazy - K-Ci and Jo-Jo

What zeh fuck..
Shitty end to a perfect weekend.
Went to the blessing of the bikes in Holland today.
That was a long ride.
But I made it safely.
A couple of the guys we went with, left shortly after we did, and they collided and crashed.
Leaving both bikes totalled, and one guy with a broken foot.
I'm so happy that it's finally riding season.
Maybe I will finally muster up the courage to learn to drive a motorcycle. Not that I'm scared, just a tad nervous.
I think before I even attempt to do that, I need to practice safe speeds in a car/truck first.
Apparently, I was doing about 90-95 up 131 today in his truck when we were coming home.
His spedometer is WAY off.
Oh well.

I also got pulled over tonight.
Wasn't for speeding. And there wasn't a ticket issued either.
I didn't cry to get out of it either.
Oh well, enough information disclosed about that.

:: 2007 26 April :: 2.54pm

Prom is Saturday. I'm excited. I'm really excited for pizza hut though. it'll be bitchin'. yup...should be awesome! =) yay!

7 No way... | Tell me...

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