(So Many Assume) <marquee>...So Little Know...</marquee>

:: 2005 7 December :: 1.07pm

They said I can't take, what, what do they know, any girl who's anyone is out at the mall and I can't dress up, what, outta control. My friends stand out so I wanna be bold. Even no make-up, what they're outta touch. They think my blue mascara is way too much. It gets a girl wondering what's wrong with this world when a girl can't choose how to be a girl. They said you're going the wrong way, the wrong way to no where but I said it's the right way, the right way to get there. They said I'm too young to follow my own way to the future but I stand in my own way, right or wrong, it's the only way
that I'll get there.....

:: 2005 7 December :: 12.49pm

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I�ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
�I�m fine baby, how are you?�
Well I would send them but I know that it�s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I�m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I�ve got to go home

Let me go home
I�m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I�m living someone else�s life
It�s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I�m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I�ve had my run
Baby, I�m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be alright
I�ll be home tonight
I�m coming back home

:: 2005 7 December :: 11.43am

I didn't go to school today. My alarm never went off and when I did wake up Lisa was calling me and it was like 7:20 so I wouldn't have had time to get ready anyways. I don't feel good and I hate school so I guess it's okay.

2 Chances | Words Of Hope?

brokenmentality

:: 2005 7 December :: 8.46am

sometimes you drive me crazy. this morning was perfect until you started feeling sorry for yourself. and as much as i want to just slap you and be like "QUIT WITH THE SELF PITY" i cant because i hate to see you upset. you have alot of stress this month... and sometimes i make it worse. i apologize for that. you know i've got your back though... as stupid and cliche as that sounds.. thats what we do. we catch each other when we fall... i know there are times i wouldnt beable to stand on my own without your support. and i pray to god that i make you feel the same.

i dont know whats wrong with me lately. i've been really depressive(ish) barely anything sets me into it... and hardly nothing gets me out of it. i dont understand. winter is supposed to be overwhelming in its beauty... and all i can concentrate on is how cold it is. how i lost my 4 dollar gloves, or how i'm ruining my "winter" boots by wearing them out in the snow. its hard enough that i can wear my heels in the snow.

and with the whole heels thing. i feel at times that i've become just that. the girl who wears heels everyday. i know it sounds stupid. but i also know that poeple have probably said amongst themselves something along the lines of "why does she wear those everyday" and no i dont care, but then again i guess i do. in a way i hide my insecurities in wearing them. i used to be really self concious about how i walked. now im not anymore. yeah.. im just gonna stop.. whatever.

i just hate school. and a part of me thinks that its just because of algebra. i dont mind any of my classes except that one.. first hour. so i have no motivation to get out of bed in the morning... which yeilds all my absences. the only reason i took that class was because one of my stupid math teachers told me that if i didnt i'd HAVE to take it in college and they would make me pay for it but it wouldnt count towards my credits. well its a good thing that's not true.. ESP after im in a class that im failing. it doesnt help that i have babbit. like im really gonna go home and do algebra for an hour. i hate the subject, im not gonna use it later in life, and its making me miserable. yeah.. i could suck it up and try harder and all that jazz.. but im a senior. i just want to get out of here. sorry if im not to concerened with one stupid grade. BUT this one stupid grade is gonna bring down my GPA. thats just GREAT.

i went christmas shopping yesterday... hoping to get it finished, far from that. which further put me in a bad mood. and what do i do when im in a bad mood? i take it out on whoever happens to be around me at that time.... sorry again doll.

i just go through phases where i hate existance.

3 Chances | Words Of Hope?

burn667

:: 2005 5 December :: 3.59pm

ahhhh.. thirsty
I wake up in the morning

I look up tp my father

And I see his eyes.

In them is a reflection of mine...

Lord I see the thoughts you have..

Many of them of me

More vast than the ocean

as countless as the sand

Halleluiah,

Praise the father

His beaty reflects on the sky,

His creation shows his perfection.

His love pours out over me.

:: 2005 5 December :: 3.40pm

Well today was a bad day.

We didn't have to do our seminar skits because of reasons but anyways I really think it's a waste of our time. I doubt that some of the people in our school have the mentality to understand them and they aren't open minded enough to accept it. Some people's intellectual capabilities aren't so great. Thats just what I think. We'll see I guess.

Everyone knows that it was us that did shit to Josh's car so then he didn't notice it until this morning and he had to drive to school and he couldn't see out of the windows since of what we did so it caused him to go into the ditch and then he came into school with flour all over him. We all thought it was pretty funny and today he kept giving us dirty looks and he told us it's war lol.

I really am upset about Veronica and I hope she's okay. I miss her already. I was suprised that I didn't start bawling today. I cried, yeah but lately when somethings wrong I haven't been crying about it. I don't know maybe I'm just getting used to this or maybe I'm getting stronger.

When something bad happens to me, you don't care but when something bad happens to you then the world has to stop for you.
Thats how you are.

Nothing could ever be so wrong.

11 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 5 December :: 1.05pm

I want some new jeans, I'm going shopping.

brokenmentality

:: 2005 5 December :: 8.46am

why does it have to be freezing in this school.

our stupid seminar thing is today... im just shooting to remember my monologue and get it over with. nobody wants to do it... nobody is going to be receptive of what we're trying to say. as far as im concerned its just a waste of our time. like its really gonna make people in OUR high school stop and think. everyones got their eyes closed to tight to see whats in front of them.. so who are we to tell them what to change.

saturday was the battle in ann arbor, it was pretty cool. i cant believe how good some people are. i mean... around here keegans crew is one of the only breakdancing crews around.. then you down to an organized thing where there are people from all over the state and you realize that break dancing is more than just a past time.. its an entire community of dedicated dancers. it really is more of an art than dancing. when they move their bodies command your attention. none of this hip hop shit that we see in our school.. i mean genuine dancing. it really makes me respect all the people who can actually DO it.. ESPECIALLY the Bgirls.

after we left the U of M... (it was in their rec center) we brought micah back to eastern and went up and saw his dorm for a little bit. i could NEVER live in a dorm. lets just leave it at that! i miss micah... and i reallllllly miss micah and keegan together. its like the shawn without the cory ya know?

hopefully i can get all my christmas shopping done this week or the next. i get paid today... but i know it wont be much. shiiiiiiiiit.

well.. i suppose i should get to doing something productive.

:: 2005 4 December :: 11.44pm

Read more..

This was on Saturday. We all crack up at Brittney's sign. Brittany's little cousins made our signs lol.

7 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 4 December :: 10.37pm

I don't think I'm going to school tomorrow, first of all I'm sick, and second, I just don't have the will.

:: 2005 4 December :: 7.25pm

Do you ever feel like you really need a friend, and when this happens, there is never anybody around?

5 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 4 December :: 6.21pm

I AM SO PISSED RIGHT NOW.

I can't get along with anyone in my house, then I was going to Alpine, and that sure as hell didn't work out like it was supposed, so much for getting half-way there. I can't stand anyone and I don't want to talk to anyone, or go to school, or work, or be at home either, I don't know where I want to be but not here! And, I have to stupid as hell english research paper, that I have to do, for my final, and tomorrow, I have to do a title page, a works cited, and a rough copy or whatever, now, how the hell am I supposed to do a works cited if I haven't even written the stinkin paper, and haven't put any research into it yet? It's the dumbest thing ever, oh, and we were supposed to get our Christmas tree today, but do you think that happened? Heck no, and guess why it didn't? Because my sister seems to rule everything around here, and it just wouldn't work for her. Well la ti da! Isn't she just wonderful, and then she sits here telling me what to buy her for Christmas, when she isnt' getting anyone anything, and she wants me to make her a blanket, that'll cost $30, and I don't really think I want to spend that much on her. All day she's been asking me what's wrong Jenna, why are you in a bad mood? Well I wasn't in a bad mood until you annoyed the crap outta me asking me what's wrong. Let me tell you, if I'm in a bad mood, there is no way that I can hide it, you'll know. You can tell. Maybe I wasn't bouncing off the walls in a good mood, but am I ever like that here? rarely ever. It seems like I'm always the one who gets screwed. Nobody else ever gets disappointed, everyone else is happy with their lives. I wish that I could be the person that I want to be. Ya know, this is totally shallow, but I think that if I looked different, I could have a boyfriend. I hate boys. Because honestly, I don't think I'm that annoying of a person, I'm pretty sure I could get along with someone and make a relationship work. But no, everyone around me is dating and having a grand time, but not me, everyone is talking about what they are going to buy so and so for Christmas, but not me. Hell, I try to buy Christmas presents, and people don't want me to. They tell me no. I don't mean to make you feel like I'm expecting something in return, because I'm not. I just wanted to do something nice. It's not like I've ever done that before. I am so frustrated with how everything is turning out it's unreal. I wish everyone would get off me about everything that I have to do. I'm not 10, I can handle a few responsibilites, I thought I had proven that, but I guess not. I can't wait to leave. But I know that I could never afford to live on my own, and seriously, who would want to live with me anyway? I am nothing.

11 Chances | Words Of Hope?

kellilynn21

:: 2005 4 December :: 4.42pm
:: Mood: Anxious
:: Music: Jingle Bell Rock

((WeEkEnD))
My mom and I just got done decorating our Christmas tree. It all pretty! We went shopping today for me for Christmas lol. She bought me 2 new winter coats. We were only suposta get one� but I couldn�t decide so we got both. I get one now, and then one at Christmas. I know some of my presents for Christmas from my mom. Cuz I�m getting those 2 winter coats, (1 early) and I�m getting a Nextel, and I�m getting that early too (probably next week). And from my dad I�m probably just getting money cuz he never �knows what to get me�, which in other words is I don�t feel like going out and getting you something so ill just put money in a card lol.

Anyways: on friday I went to the movies with Andrew. We saw the dumbest movie on planet earth: AeonFlux. Then me and Jordan went to Rockford to see how much its gunna be to get our nails done and that�s about all I did, besides shopping with my mom and decorating the tree. Christmas break is coming up. Thank God.

I cant friggen WAIT to get my Nextel. Uuhh I want it now lol.

I�m so glad I got all my Christmas shopping done already. Normally I wait till like the last possible day to do it so I feel kinda of relieved. Anyways: hope everyone had a fun weekend.
<3

:: 2005 4 December :: 3.00pm

I pretty much just woke up and that is pretty sad lol. We didn't go to sleep until 5am and then we all had to leave at 9 so then I came home and slept until now lol.

Friday Lisa and I were at the mall and it was about to close and we had to go to the bathroom before we left and you have to go down this long hallway to get to it and I was telling her how it was sort of scary and how I've heard guys will go in a stall in the girls bathroom and wait for a girl to come in there and so she was really scared so when we went in there I started pushing all the doors open to make sure somebody wasn't in there and then when I got to this one door it wouldn't open and I totally didn't think someone would be in there so I was like pounding on it, trying to open it and then I seen their feet so then I was like omg shit and so I stopped and Lisa and I were laughing and I thought it was pretty fucking weird that the person in there didn't say something to me because apparently I didn't know they were in there but no they didn't say a word or move!! So then we were just like w/e and then we both were going to the bathroom and it was dead silent and I just busted out laughing and then afterwards Lisa did too and we both were just standing there wondering why this person was still in there not doing ANYTHING so I looked at their feet and it looked like guys shoes so then I showed Lisa and she agreed with me and so then we got out of there as fast as we could. It was pretty scary if you ask me. If I was them and I heard someone laugh (me) I would definitely laugh too but they didn't. I'm pretty sure it was a guy. Not even kidding.

Yesterday I went to the x-mas parade with Brittney, Kourtney, Emily, and Elyse. It was so cold but it was pretty cute.

Then Elyse came over and then later on we went to Sam Ballews for her body shop thing. It was pretty sweet. I had fun and I bought alot of stuff lol.

Then well I hung out with Brittany, Brittney, Megan, Emily, and Elyse. Ahaha....

This weekend wont go without repercussions.

<3 aShLeY

2 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 4 December :: 11.16am

I have to go to this family Christmas party today, and I won't even know half of the people there. It's my great grandma's side of the family. Well, I guess I'll know most of the people there, but we only see them at this thing once a year. So my parents talk and seem to enjoy themselves, but Stacey, Kourtney, and I, we just kinda sit there and talk to ourselves. But we do get a present. Cuz it's a Christmas party ya know. hahah! We were going to go and get our Christmas tree today too, but maybe we still will afterwards, it's at 1:30, so if we leave at like 3, there should still be time, right? I hope so, cuz I've been looking forward to it for a long time!! And I kinda wanted to run over to Plainfield today too, to finish everything up. But, I don't think that that is going to happen anymore. I only have to buy for, Mom, Dad, and Stacey still. It's a good feeling knowing that I still have a few weeks before Christmas and I'm almost done. Last year I went shopping a few days before. It was pretty bad. But anyways, I feel like I'm rambling on about nothing, so that usually means it's a good time to shut up.

:: 2005 4 December :: 1.08am

I hate it when I'm all stressed out and all my muscles are tense, and my jaw is clenched, and I don't realize it until it hurts, and then I have to force myself to relax.

:: 2005 4 December :: 12.23am

Only three more people, and my Christmas shopping is done!! yea!!!

tonyp.

:: 2005 3 December :: 1.42pm

well some time around june or july next year im most likely(theres a small chance that i wont) be moving to chicago with ben and brad, kinda a new start on things in a whole new place and a bunch of oppurtunitues. im getting my tattoo stuff on christmas which means im gona be really busy practicing. im excited about moving but its kinda scary because its my first move on my own but at least i got ben and brad. the reason why were going so chicago is because ben is going to colledge there and its just a good time to start or master plan. but in reality im just going to be starting my life.
if anyone wants any piercings im the place to go people so get ahold of me in anyway posible ok.

:: 2005 3 December :: 12.08am

ahaha tonight was fun :)

2 Chances | Words Of Hope?

just_peachie

:: 2005 2 December :: 4.42pm

Man, I sure do miss that Brianna Girl.

I wonder what She's up to right now.
If i were talking to her I'de say I love you girl, I miss you so call me sometime and we'll hang out when I'm not around my dumb hubbie

<3 aha

5 Chances | Words Of Hope?

brokenmentality

:: 2005 1 December :: 7.28pm

Senior Pictures.
the pictures are showing up now

out of the 150 some proofs we got back, these are the ones we ordered. soooo... tell me which ones are your favorite.... ACTUALLY tell me which one you want a wallet of (if you're worthy) *giggles... im kidding. but really though.... telll meeee.

Read more..

9 Chances | Words Of Hope?

Paradox

:: 2005 1 December :: 8.07am

Things have been going good lately... I'm excited for this weekend. We've got a show on friday at a hip hop/diversity convention at a church downtown. I think its going to be like a huge charity pot luck. We're going to dance, and talk about the history and art of breaking which will be cool I suppose. Then on saturday, we're going down to ann arbor for the 'Michigan Matchups' battle at angel hall. We'll be battling a crew called Free Soul Tribe. There pretty good, but I dunno itll be an interesting battle for anyone who cares.

Erika's been attempting to learn to breakdance for the past couple days. It's so cute.. And she's one sexxxxxxy lady when she gets movin... Don't deny it people you know it's true! I think thats all I got... have a good one.

-K. Loye

kellilynn21

:: 2005 30 November :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: :)

Christmas Break*
I cant wait till *ChRiStMaS bReAk*

Its like forever away, kinda, but idk I can just tell its gunna be WONDERFUL. I�m gunna see everyone I want to see. Im going to get presents, and give presents. I wish I had more money to by more things for my friends. I feel bad that I cant get my friends more things.

Today Rachael bought me theses shoes that I�ve been wanting forever for me for Christmas, but since I already know what they are she�s gunna give them to me tomorrow. I wish I could get her something special, but I don�t have the money. I told her that I could buy her 2-3 fish cuz she <3�s fish (weird I know but very true). Its weird, before I met her I would have never guessed fish were so expensive� well for being fish lol. There like $5.00 (normally). But hopefully that makes up for the shoes.

This year since I didn�t really have a lot of mulah (money), I only got presents for the people closest to me. I think I�m gunna get some cards for some other people. Its not a present, but it�s the thought that counts I guess.

Uugg� I just cant wait till break. I already have things planned and I just cant wait. We got our Christmas tree and were gunna decorate it this weekend, im excited. I wait for this like all year. I <3 DECORATING THE TREE and listening to Christmas music� *sigh*.

You Make Me Smile...