(So Many Assume) <marquee>...So Little Know...</marquee>

glitterkisses

:: 2005 11 July :: 8.52pm

I HAVE A NEW JOURNAL NOW PEOPLE

I wanted to make a fresh start, leave certain things and memories in the past where they belong, new start, so here ya go, add me, i wont be using this journal anymore.

woohu.com/~jes

glitterkisses

:: 2005 11 July :: 6.10pm

Just got home from the doctor's, and from getting some soup at big Boy to bring home. I have strep throat. *grrr* So stay away from Jess...

BigBen61

:: 2005 9 July :: 8.23pm

1st Algebra 2 Babbitt
2nd Drama 4 H.
3rd Advanced tv pro. Tino
4th Varsity voices Tino
5th American Lit. Dolbee
6th Drama 3 H.

4 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 9 July :: 11.22am

im getting my hair highlighted today... i went tanning last night..... im like geeeeze whats getting in to me!?

must be the senior pictures.

breezeyluvsu

:: 2005 9 July :: 2.39am

Yeah, its like 2:45 in the morning... i know this. But theres nothing really to do at kevins so ehh why not right? There hasnt been much of anything in my life. Im actually not on here to complain, or even vent. Im very content with my life.

But its kinda scary. I think ... i know i have a very low self esteem causing me to feel sick to my stomach yesterday causing me not to be hungry. Now my tummy is going to shrivel up if i dont eat something really fast.

Things with dan... Im slowly letting my guard down. He wants to prove it to me im more then willing. :) hes been so.... perfect really. No controlling, no argueing, and best of all, NO CRYING! its great. Well im very tired and im off to bed

I loooooooove yyyyyyyyyyyyyyOOOOOOOOOOOOuuuuuuuuuu

** ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY TODAY**... well not technically but hey if i get a nice date out of it then im not complaining!! *winks*

tonyp.

:: 2005 8 July :: 8.49pm

well my stuff should be her like with in five days so i might as well start advertising
piercings are-
five dollars if its my first time doing it and ten dollars if it isent
you can call me at 696-9784 if you want anything done, and you have to be old enough to get it too, or if your parents say its ok, i need to hear it straight from there mouth or see it in person, im also going to do house calls for a while but that will be an extra 5 dollors *mabye* so if anyone seriously wants to get anything done or wants to help me out alittle bit please leave a post or call me plus i mad a e-mail address just for the piercings and tattoos but im not tattooing right no but its// bed_of_nails_tattooing@hotmail.com // so please guys help me out

jennapie

:: 2005 8 July :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Break Down Here ~ Julie Roberts

still pissed
why can't I be happy with myself. and with my life?

3 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 8 July :: 2.22pm

we got alot accomplished today.

im watching shelby... on top of everything else....

buuutttt..... keegan came over this morning and the three of us watched scooby doo... and then he mowed our front yard.. which is a PRETTY big front yard, i cleaned my room and bathroom, organized my red flannel box, made lunch on the grill, and keegan just brought our screen door in to be fixed... now i have to drop shelby off at her babysitters, go to work, and then tan so i can be nice and dark for my senior pictures..

ahh... we're almost seniors....

i think i have this disease where i cant stop spending money at abercrombie and hollister... its terrible... 100 dollars on 3 shirts... im sure thats not healthy!

mmm... but they DO look good.

well... i should probably clean up. im lookin pretty scary right about now.......

ohhhhh... me and keegan went to the lakes mall yesterday and then to grand haven.. it was nice. the sun felt so good... so what if the water was to cold and even kind of hurt.... it was a good day.

:: 2005 8 July :: 10.28am
:: Mood: sad

I found out this morning that my uncle died yesterday from Cancer and the thing is, we just found out like a week ago that he had it in the first place but at least I can say I seen him before he died. Anyways he lived in Tennessee and alot of our family does so my dad and I are flying out there, my dad just bought our plane tickets and thank god we dont have to drive there or back and were leaving tomorrow and I will be back sometime early next week. It goes Tennnessee, California, Tennnesse, and then soon to be California again. I'm not complaining about going places expect this time, because most people don't look forward to funerals and crying upset people. Also the thing that pisses me off is my parents both smoke and my uncle just had cancer from smoking and thats why he died and last summer my aunt died from the same exact thing but they don't seem to fucking get the clue. It's really annoying but now I'm in a bad mood. I lost one of my friends and now my uncle, can't that be enough?

Thanks for not being here when I needed you- and you know exactly what im talking about.

I'm going to go pack.

Goodbye everyone.

4 Chances | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 7 July :: 10.22pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: dumb girls-lucy woodward

Today my sister wanted me to go lay out and go swimming in our pool so I said I would and then I remembered I was washing all three of my bathing suits so then she just told me to wear my bathing suits from last year but I didn't want to do that because, well I dont really know I just dont like wearing old clothes I guess lol I dont know but anyways so shes like well can we stop the washer to take them out and Im dumb and said no and she believed me so we opened it and it was spinning really fast with water and we kept trying to reach in and grab my bathing suits and it tooks us like 10 minutes to do so and we kept getting our arms caught in it and it hurt really bad it was so funny and so finally we get a matching top and bottom out of it and I dropped one of them back in there on accident..it was horriable and then afterwards when I already got one of the bathing suits out she goes "didn't you just get another new bathing suit" and I forgot that I just got another one and it was upstairs in my room..so we did all that work for nothing and almost lost our arms but it was soo worth it because now im so tan it's just great.

im not in the mood to type so im going to go find something to do.

Good night.

<3Ashley

tonyp.

:: 2005 6 July :: 10.02pm

well today i am soo happy, i pierced my first person today, it was my cousin charlie which is nice because i wount really care if i screw up on him because hes family, but i did his labrea which is in the middle of your lip but its lower than a lip piercing and alot harder to do..and i aced it.....and then i did his eyebrow which was a little bit harder than i thought it would be but i managed pretty well, im happy, nothing can get me down now..its offical i work at chad's hahahah so fucking awsome...step one complet

:: 2005 7 July :: 12.37am

i went to blues tonight after my modeling consultation... it was pretty cool. they guys from 61syx are pretty awesome.. i still get nervous when keegan does flips.. esp when its on concrete and he's tryin some for the first time... but dammnn is it so cool!

i just got home... im grounded right now... so i guess my moms definition of grounded must be "be home by midnight" we'll have to slowly work back up to 2-3 in the next few days... laughs* being grounded isnt half bad.... i think i can spare a couple of hours for a few days... no longer then that though... hmph.

my cell's been dead for like a week..i just havent gotten around to charging it... and damn.. i should charge my camera cuz we're going to the beach tomorrow.... mmmmm... looks at complicated bateries and such..... nawww not complicated, more like "takes effort" and im tired so NO... hmph.... .im such a baby.

keegan had his interview at Logans today.... we're in there at LEAST 2-3 times a week, so since he's looking for a waitor job... figured HEY why not work at our resturant?! i say OURS because im sure if it wasnt for our frequent visits.. they would be out of business.. FER sure.

mmmm keegans dad made us steak today.... i hadnt had steak in a LONG time... then me, emma, and his dad played trivial pursuit... it was fun. keegan wouldnt play.... jerk.

i can see emma and me becomming really close... we're already pretty close and i KNOW she likes me alot.. his whole family does... sounds cliche, but his house is really like my second home. his mom even labled a part of his room "Erika Dawns" lol.... and then grouped all my stuff there... it was cute. i had kind of a dissapointment today, so right after i called my mom, i called keegans mom.... i just think thats so coooooool! ugrahh! i love them all... except keegan *winks....

i love how everyone is always like... you're so in love, or something like that... and we're like nooooo we're not.. not yet anyways. because its true. we arent... why rush something thats already so beautifull? but i sure am loving every second of falling in love with that boy.

night angels....

jennapie

:: 2005 7 July :: 12.32am

how come everything is going down the pooper? I can't stand this! ugh! Everything has to suck all at once, why can't everything go bad at different times, so then I don't feel so overwhelmed and unable to stay in control of my life? Why do I have to care, why does it bother me? oh yea! becasue I hate it when people stick their noses into my business! I DON'T WANT ANYONE telling me what to do EVER! not with my friends, not with my family, and especially not with me! I can make my own decisions, and if you haven't noticed yet! I DO! and no matter what anyone tells me, I won't change for them, my opinions are MINE! I don't care what anyone thinks of them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against new ideas and differing opinions, I just don't want anyone telling me that I have to change mine, I accept others for theres. So why do you feel the need to walk all over me for mine? And DON'T EVER EVER EVER put words into my mouth that I didn't say. That is a big mistake, and then when you go and tell the country what you "thought" I meant, that is another BIG mistake. Because then people get mad at me. I don't care how long we don't talk. As long as you understand that I'm NOT YOU! and I'm not going to talk about people behind their backs with you! Don't get mad at me when I won't. It's really none of your business what I think is right and wrong, I guess I just have stronger morals than you do. UGH! I can't talk about this, don't talk to me!

1 Chance | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 6 July :: 5.22pm
:: Music: Goodbye To You!

You still don't get it, nothing I ever say makes you get it and theres no way im going to just come out and say it.

I'm fighting for a hopeless case.

How come I can tell him it's not worth doing but sometimes I feel like doing the same thing?

tonyp.

:: 2005 6 July :: 9.17am

well fourth of july was really fun, bumber cars were alot of fun.
so im gona start piercing next week when i get my stuff which is really exciting for me..i cant wait tell i actually get to open my own shop...ive been thinging alot about it and i cant wait.......im either gona call it kids with guns or bed of nails tattooing, im not sure but im gona need some help geting it started so if any of you know about starting your own bussiness please let me know and id also like to know if you guys like the name at all. well i hope you guys will let me poke at you all some time.

:: 2005 5 July :: 8.52pm
:: Mood: jealous
:: Music: Ohio is for lovers<3

My msn isn't working..but thats what aim is for I guess.

I never should have read that. Somehow still, I don't get it. I've waited all my life for someone like you, just so I could push you away and thats pretty much what I did and when someone else likes you, that bothers me. It shouldn't, but it does. I denied I cared and that was a mistake.

Something isn't right, I can feel it again, this isn't the first time you kept me waiting. Sad excuses and falls hopes high, I saw this coming, still I don't know why I let you in.

but I have to get ready and leave. <3

Oh & when exactly are things going to get better?

:: 2005 5 July :: 12.58am

Thanks for not being here when I need you. I'm supposed to confess but I refuse to do so. hahaha.

I've started to realize that just because you forgot or simply don't say it, it doesn't mean its not there.

I guess this is what you want. You decided this. This isn't what we need.

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is just you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

I'm really starting to annoy myself, I can't seem to get it right, I have to remember the difference between then and now. It's differen't, so the same things wont be said, the same things wont happen, I just am so used to before that I can't get used to the way things are now. Its weird. Who knows but im going to bed. I'm tired and hopefully tomorrow ill be better. I think I'm hanging out with Aaron soon~

P.S.-You'll figure it out soon. I gave a huge clue!

Nite<3

whispers

:: 2005 4 July :: 11.30pm
:: Music: oasis - stop crying your heart out

sorry.. bored
Name A Song for Each Letter:

A -- angel by shaggy
B -- bad boy this, bad boy that by da band
C -- cold by crossfade
D -- deep end by crossfade
E -- epipihany by staind
F -- fuck you by 50 cent
G -- goodbye to you by michelle brance
H -- hope by twista / faith evens
I -- it was you by ashley ballard
J -- jenny was a friend of mine by the killers
K -- killing me softly by.. them people lol
L -- love song by 311
M -- mouthing off by ludacris
N -- nobody's home by avril lavigne
O -- over and over by nelly - this song blows
P -- peaches and cream by 112
Q -- queen of the night by whitney houston
R -- respect by aretha franklin
S -- stop crying your heart out by oasis
T -- truly madly deeply by savage garden
U -- unbreak my heart by toni braxton
V -- valentine by martina mcbride
W -- wonderwall by oasis
X -- i can't think of anything
Y -- yeah by usher / lil jon / ludacris
Z -- i didnt know there was a song that starts with z

:: 2005 4 July :: 11.05am

See, I knew that wasn't going to last longer than a day. So why do you even bother in the first place? Don't complain to me anymore if it bothers you that much, but then you just sit there and let it happen.

And you know what-explainations don't change anything. They don't make me feel any better. I either like something or I don't, and if I don't like it then knowing why it happens doesn't make any difference-it's still going to happen and I'm still not going to like it, so whats the point?

Maybe it's just too much to expect from you but I just wanted you to understand how I felt but obviously you don't.

:: 2005 4 July :: 12.26am

oh goodness...

boys and their need to "fix" everything..
bobby, bobby, bobby

im so fortunate to know him. both him and vince, its crazy... because if i had never met keegan, i wouldnt have met these two amazing people.... and even though i've only known them for about as long as i've known keegan.... i feel a need to protect them because i love them and they love me and its like they're my big brothers. this big wonderful protective circle... its beautifull.

we're gong to watch fireworks in grand rapids tomorrow... getting away from sandlake... blahhhh. im excited, i've never seen grand rapids fireworks, AND this is my first fourth of july with someone... i've seen fireworks with ex-boyfriends, not on the fourth though cuz i was in Disney World... and keegan doesnt remember ever spending the fourth with anyone... so this counts as his first too... the way we look at things... if you look back and either dont remember or realize an experience was nothing like the ones we share together... then they dont really count.. because they lack in comparison.. so much that they dont exist. we both have pasts, we both have fairly long relationships under our belts, and we can BOTH happily say that THIS is our first relationship.... because nothing else compares. its just an amazing feeling.... i thought i felt this way once..... but the way i feel when we're together is mind blowing.... it totally replaces everything i ever felt. i mean yeah.. i thought i was in love once.... but the way i feel when im with keegan is so much stronger then i EVER felt... and we're not even in love yet! its a beautiful beautiful thing.....

*sighs......

kellilynn21

:: 2005 3 July :: 10.07pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: We Belong Together

Yay, Im Home... Well Kinda.
Im Home, Finally. Im Not Really Home Home Right Now, But Im Not At Camp Anymore. Right When I Got Home I Had To Babysit, So I Havent Really Been Home Yet. Im All By Myself At Someone Else's House From Saturday Morning- Monday Night. Eh- Oh Well Im Getting Paid *GGGGGGOOOOOODDD* lol. Anyways I Just Want To Say Thank You To Everyone Who Wrote Me.

So... Thank You :)

1 Chance | Words Of Hope?

:: 2005 3 July :: 9.16pm
:: Music: Goodbye to you-Michelle Branch

Okay this is going to be an update since I never really write in here that much anymore.

I'm still really upset about Dakota. Last night I started thinking about everything and I started bawling and I just think I need to let go.I couldn't stop thinking about Dakota and then him and this and that and so I just cried. It was sad.. I blame myself for this and somehow inside I know its not my fault and if any other kid was put in my situation it would be the same thing because its your fault not mine but somehow I always take the blame and it kills me inside all the time.

Today I went on the Muskegon River with a whole bunch of people and we went tubing and we went to this sandbar where we always go and we know like everyone that goes there so everyone just hung out and everyone was drinking but it was really fun and I got to see my friends Jack and Casey and they are camping up there so next weekend we are probably going back up there and we are going to go stay with them because they still will be camping but it was alot of fun and I'm getting really tan.

I went and seen War Of The Worlds the other day and it was really good and one minute I was scared and then the next I started crying but I normally don't like those movies but I really liked it alot.

Friday I went to Emilys and hung out with her and Elyse and we played this game but I forgot what its called and you roll the dice and it lands on a letter and then each person has a card with a list and theres like 12 things on the list and like one of them would be a fruit so you have to write a fruit down with the letter that was rolled and at the end when the timer runs out you have to say what you got for each thing and if you have the same thing as another person then it doesn't count as a point and Emily and I kept getting the same things so we lost, it was sad, it really was hahaha.

Im re-decorating both of my rooms. I already ordered all the stuff for my moms room and the theme of it I guess you could say is surfing and I'm painting my walls pink and I haven't picked out a bedspread or anything for my room at my dads yet but I'm excited.

In August for a while I'm going to California again and I'm staying with my family in LA and I'm going to work on some acting stuff with my uncles friend Abby who works at a Talent Agency and were going to San Francisco and were also going to go to Yosemite National Park too. So I'm excited about that and I think I'm staying for a week and a half or two weeks it just depends but I love flying in planes now lol its so fun. I am sending my uncle some of my photo shoot pictures so hopefully he shows them to all his little famous friends and then some agency will want me to work for them and then I can move to California and leave this shitty place behind and then my dreams can come true. It will happen sometime.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

I guess you could say I miss you but that doesn't matter now. It's way past mattering now. I don't think anyone really gets it. Nobody really knows the way I'm feeling right now.

:: 2005 3 July :: 2.20am

me and keegan saw bewitched tonight... it was pretty good. i love magic. then after that me, emma and keegan went into sandlake.. this is at about 10:30 im guessing... we had more fun on the carride there then we did at the carnival.. the way we see it... the trashy people hang out at the carnival.. the COOL people make a few appearences and then leave.... laughs* you can only walk by so many girls in belly shirts, bleached blonde hair, and nose rings before you've had enough to vomit. ughhh.. laughs.

we were jammin though... DMX.. ohhh yeahhh.... i'd say when it comes to dancin.. i give keegan a run for his money... its true. *giggles.

we listened to this chris rock comedy thing on keegans ipod yesterday, it was like an hour and a half long.. .sooooo funny.

yeah... keegan keegan keegan... i know.
but hey, i didnt see him for 6 days, he's my best friend, and part of me just wants to brag about how amazing my boyfriend is.

*sighs.....