miss me baby &hearts;

:: 2005 28 August :: 9.28pm

I guess I'm having a party saturday!

1 drOp a line | line dropped

:: 2005 27 August :: 9.17pm

So life incredibly sucks right now. Everything got cancelled that I had been looking forward 2 for a week. So here I am alone by myself on a Saturday night. What makes it worse is my 2 best friends practically ditched me. Oh yeah to make it better I backed into a tree earlier. But no damange thank God. I'm starting to relaize how I've completely fucked up my life. I want to go back and change so much. But theres no way 2, I had so many chances and each time I ruined them. I have like nothing and prly always will. I'm starting to relaize what little freinds I have. David is pretty much the only one that always listens to me lately, which is the raw end of the deal for him. I have no clue why he puts up with me. If I were him I would run the other direction. Seems like all I can do is cry tonight and think about this summer. I hate when I sit around and play the what if game in my head. It just drives me crazy. I wish I had someone to call my own and that would always be there for me, but it seems like each time I do, I find a way to fuck that up 2.Its like I cant hold on to anyone. I'm starting to see what people say about me is right. All the things in my back of my head, that I use to deny what people said. There all right. I guess I deserve what I get.I just want to start over, maybe college will be my chance. Who knows I completly ruin everything all by myself. I dunno, I guess, I'm just a down mood right now. I wish there was something to cheer me up. Till then I just continue to throw myself into work. Which I guess is good for them.

7 drOp a line | line dropped

:: 2005 27 August :: 2.18pm
:: Mood: angry

so tired, of fighting ..and not knowing what im fighting for

you yell && say things i dont understand
&& make me out to be a slut
im not
you tell me things that condridict others
&& expect me to know what to do

yes, mistakes have been made
but your blowing it out of porportion
making it so much more than it is.

your hurting me so much
--> i dont know if i should call, if i should say anything at all
<--- or maybe i should dissapear from your life
is that what you want ?!

&& i really believe you should help me .

9 drOp a line | line dropped

:: 2005 26 August :: 4.45pm
:: Mood: cold

hope everyone was safe ♥

:: 2005 25 August :: 1.12am

Well I just got out of work. My feet are really bothering me today. I got to close with cool people today, so it was actually a lot of fun. I learned some disturbing things today, but its all good. Sometimes I think my life has to be picking up soon. I feel like I've been stuck in the same place for a long time. I got tons of shakes left over from work. I didnt selll barely any tonight, so there all in my freezer lol.

1 drOp a line | line dropped

innocence

:: 2005 24 August :: 2.49am

wow . .

fuck you and everything you stand for .
im done . . i cant do this to myself anymore, im done and overwith !!

you had to be a pussy . .
you couldnt tell me the truth

truth is . .
the truth hurts

4 drOp a line | line dropped

innocence

:: 2005 23 August :: 1.25am

. . in the words of ashh . .
asherzzz . . sorry i took this from you, but at the moment im feeling the exact same way and im doing everything in my power not to cry . . hope you dont mind i took this from you. it couldnt have been said better . . i LOVE you

i dont want to hurt && i dont want to cry
anymore

&& most of all i want to know what to do with myself

to let go isnt to forget, not think about, or ignore it. it doesnt leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. letting go isnt winning and it isnt losing. it's not about pride and it's not about how you appear. it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. letting go isnt blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesnt leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. it's not giving up or giving in. to let go is to cherish memories but to overcome and move on. it is having an open mind and confidence in the future. letting go is accepting. it is learning and experiencing and growing up. to let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, cry and grow. it's about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will gain. letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. letting go is growing up. to let go is to open a a door, clear a path and set yourself free

. . i hate doing this to myself. i hear one thing, see another, feel another . . i hate hate hate feeling like this. i hate what you do to me, i hate that i have no clue. but i dont want to give up on you, i cant. i wish i knew what was best for me . .

i just want to know what to do with myself

2 drOp a line | line dropped

:: 2005 21 August :: 10.53pm

So I'm back from Wisconsin. I'm getting a new computer either this week or next. Which is really good, cuz this one is a piece of crapt. I cant believe I go back to school next week. I'm not looking forward to it all. I feel that like everyone graduated, I'm going to be so alone. I guess I better make some more freinds lol.

5 drOp a line | line dropped

:: 2005 19 August :: 10.42pm
:: Mood: pissed the fuck off

i hear two storys && parts of both seem to be true
i dont know who to believe && or trust
you both have your reasons to lie
&& tell me what you want

im not a fucking rag doll
&& yes i have feelings

tell the fucking truth
to whomever your talking to && what its about
&& everything will be how it should be

i dont want to hurt && i dont want to cry
anymore

&& most of all i want to know what to do with myself

- - - -
[[ edit ]]

to let go isnt to forget, not think about, or ignore it. it doesnt leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. letting go isnt winning and it isnt losing. it's not about pride and it's not about how you appear. it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. letting go isnt blocking memories or thinking sad thoughs, and it doesnt leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. it's not giving up or giving in. to let go is to cherish memories but to overcome and move on. it is having an open mind and confidence in the future. letting go is accepting. it is learning and experiencing and growing up. to let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, cry and grow. it's about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will gain. letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. letting go is growing up. to let go is to open a door, clear a path and set yourself free

i guess it`ll never happen for me then
JEESUS

[[ /edit ]]

4 drOp a line | line dropped

:: 2005 18 August :: 10.40pm
:: Mood: depressed

atleast i went out fighting

miss me baby ♥

Miss me baby
When you hear our favourite song,
Miss me baby
and when you start to sing along
Think about all the times that we danced
In moonlight to it all night long, oh
Then

miss me baby

And want me honey

♥

Like you did the night you told me that you loved me
We couldn`t wait anymore
Left the keys in the door, took my hand
Pulled me down on the kitchen floor
Yeah, we were that crazy
Then miss me baby

Because when SHES

holding you,
know that it`s killing me,
let my memory be the reason
that you can`t sleep
and everytime you feel her touch,
I pray to God it`s not enough
and that I`ve touched your heart so deep
you can`t shake me
Cause I love you

.

Yes I need you,
Miss me baby

Miss me baby
Until you can`t take it no more
Miss me baby
~~Pack your bags~~ && hit the door
I`ll admit, I ~~was~~ wrong,

forgive me ♥

Come back home
I`ll be waiting
Right here waiting
Miss me baby.

Everytime you hear this song,

miss me baby . .

7 drOp a line | line dropped

:: 2005 18 August :: 1.47pm
:: Mood: cranky

do you care if i don't know what to say
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
will i shake this off pretend its all okay
or will you think of me tonight
And I swear if I could take your pain
And frame it and hang it on my wall,
Maybe you would never have to hurt it all.
Painting pictures in red and blue.
♥

&& i think you should download
miss me baby :: craig cagle
thanks for last night ♥

:: 2005 16 August :: 9.12pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Jamie O'neal - somebody's hero

&& so i broke my own heart && managed to ruin my own life

with in the past month i`v cried a few too many times
&& made to many mistakes
shattered two hearts
ruined half a million dreams
contridicted myself way past normal
&& started to hate myself

- - - - -
i never ment it more when i told you i love you

innocence

:: 2005 16 August :: 2.05am
:: Music: tainted love

got it from ashh
you can complain because roses have thorns... or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.

If you stand in front of a mirror, with a dozen roses... there will be thirteen beautiful things.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back when you forget the words.

People always ask, "Why do you like him?" and "How can you love him?" But I dont want them to understand. Because if they did, theyd love him too.

If you never get your heart broken, you never learn to love.

Im going into this not knowing what Ill find. Ive decided to follow my heart and abandon my mind. And if theres pain, at least Ill know that I gave it my all. Because its better to have loved and lost. Than to have never loved at all.

The greatest thing youll learn is just to love and be loved in return. -Moulin Rouge

Dont take life so seriously. Its not like youre getting out alive!

Anyone can catch your eye. But it takes someone special to steal your heart.

Dont waste your life regretting all your wrongs. Know that in the end, youll get what your heart longs. Risk it all... you may stumble... but dont fall. Take the time to read the writings on the wall. Hold your head high, and dont be afraid to say goodbye. Stay true and be you; do everything you want to do. Live life to its fullest, and never look back... Theres a reason for the future and a reason for the past. Love until it hurts; laugh until you cry... And when your life flashes before you... before you die... be happy for what youve done and rejoice for what youve become.

A love that is denied only grows stronger.

In three words I can sum up everything Ive learned about life: it goes on.

Nothings perfect. Things just happen. -The OC

:: 2005 14 August :: 8.21pm
:: Mood: heartbroken

nice to know your over us.

. . i guess

nothing seems to matter to him anymore
i really cant get him off my mind

i think i made the biggest mistake of my life
cant he just call me

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