Ohhh...so many new developments....Pussy will be happy. The story is having a few new twists....but it is sounding good. My brother wants to be Sniper....which he will totally rock at! (Cus he is obsessed with all those weapons and stuff and he knows like a million useless facts about it.) But now we have an original four. (heheehee) Sorry, I just realized that most of you have no clue what I am talking about! Oh well! Be left in the dark!!! Muhahahahahahhahaaa!!!

Today I found out that my mom believes in me. No not about my wanting to be a counselor, or any of that. She has always believed in me in those areas...but I found out that she believes I have what it takes to become a writer. I always had thought that she never took me seriously, that she was just annoyed at the hours I spend on the computer, typing away. But she does, and that makes it so much more worth while.

A few words of interest from SuperChic[k]
"Highschool could be a movie of the rest of society, there's always a prom queen, and there will always be serorities, and sadly there will always be someone keeping score of popularity. And just cus they all do doesn't mean we have to act like we're in highschool...I know I'll be graduating early."-Highschool


And for those of you who think that I am crazy for not wanting to date constantly....The Barlow Girls-
"There were some sisters, Barlow's their last name,. ordinary girls they don't live in the fast lane. They won't date with the guys that score cus they don't want what the boys want more. They won't date, they want to see how they're gonna grow up; who their gonna be....and yes there are guys who are willing to date, ask a Barlow girl on her wedding day."

yeah, I know, a little lame to use lyrics to say stuff, but sometimes the satire that they use is better then anything i could ever come up with. So remember, be your own person, not what society demands that you be, and find the puzzle pieces that fit, not the ones that don't.

So many things happen that can change a person's life, friends, family, school, or just that random miricle (or curse) that happens to fall in a person's lap. And sometimes there is a mixure of both, it is just whether one outwieghs the other to descide the mood of that person. It is amazing how one high or low can completely change a person's outlook on life. One mistake, or acomplishment, changes everything for them, until they climb, or fall again.

Heehee, I know that I am babbling, sorry. I just started typing, and that is what came out.

The Christmas gift.
Man, so much awsome stuff to play with for so long (like my new video games and cloths, and all that). And lets not forget the coolness of giving that perfect gift (you know, the one that you searched for since June and spent WAY too much money on). That is always cool to see that person's face when they open it, making their face lite up, making blowing that paycheck all worthwhile. ;) But hey, there is something even cooler about Christmas (yes, I mean there is more) :) One gift was given to all of us that I think should never be forgotten...that a man gave up his life, so that we could live. Jesus Christ. And I know, not all of you who read this believe in all that, but just think for a moment....if it is true...its certainly worth celebrating.

So thank you God, for my friends, my family, the gifts I have recieved, none more important then your love, and the love of your Son, my savior, Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas everyone, and may you all find your own happiness.

Wow, people are really lucky that the cops took my bazooka. Cus I would use it on a few selected people that won't leave my Jess alone. And I know....I could OFFEND people with this entry (oh my gosh! Like I care!) People need to learn how to shut up and just get over it. They are stiring up more trouble then her journal ever could.

Well I'm talking to my Jessi (she is so cute...and don't even start girlie...I don't need to go through ten comments! :P) I can't wait to hang with her over Christmas break! (That is if it don't stir up too much trouble in other lands.) but from what I hear her mom wants to see me too so it will be all good! Ray also wants me to come over during Christmas break....that sounds like fun too...if I don't get lost along the way. :) Oh and lets not forget Brianna! We have to do something...now if I can find time for all of this and work...it will be a really good break! :) Love ya alll!!!!!!!

So as you can all tell, life ain't going to bad now...I still have a few wrinkles to iron out of the fabric of my life, but then, having perfectly smooth cloth would not be nearly as interesting...so I guess everything is all right. Nate and I are getting along great, which is a lot of fun! (I still have the magic quarters by the way;) Hmmm...I guess that's about all if it right now. Bye ya'll!

Okay okay okay...this is to all of you who now feel unloved cus I said that I love Connie in my last entry. I LOVE YOU ALL TOOO!!!! *Big grins* I have such great friends and its stupid for me to be upset if only a few of them are all whiny. So thanks to all of you for always being there for me and loving me as much as I love you!

Its so odd. At first I thought that it was because I had finally given in to the fact that things weren't going to change overnight and that I shouldn't let her words affect me, but after I thought about it, I realized that it was when my dearest friend needed me that I instinctively put my thoughts aside for hers. Its interesting how the mind works. So I must say, thank you Connie, you have helped me in more ways then one, and I hope that I can help you in return. (and if that just happens to include beating the crap out of some annoying little boy then I will be happy too!) ;) Love ya darling!

Alone again, anger has taken over another of my only friends. Only this time I do not know the reason. But then, he also says he is fine, that nothing is wrong, but I know him better then that. It has been four years, between the fighting and love, shouldn't I know him better then this? Yes, I should. But I still cannot read his mind, he hasn't spoken to me at all, I cannot take this. I am already alone, now it is fallen even more, like a heavy unwanted cloak that I am hidden underneath.

Fallen Angel
Fallen down,
hitting hard.
Life's troubles
take their toll.
Wings are bent,
Heart does break
Horns remain in a reflection.
Ruby lips do laugh,
At the fallen task
While the tears of falure
Are stained on her cheek.

A fallen angel with Broken wings...
no longer a song to sing.

Rain. It falls and no one really notices, or cares. They go about their daily lives, hardly taking the time to watch the drops fall...to touch them to their face. Raindrops...teardrops....what's the difference.

Stop it! Just stop! Please! I can't take it anymore. My heart can only break so many times before I must have time to fix it, doesn't anyone understand that? I'm sorry, how many times must I say that before you will leave me alone and let me heal myself. I cannot do that if you never leave me alone, telling me that I am not doing the right thing, that this all can be fixed by just simple forgiveness, but I have already forgiven, that is not the issue. But no one cares or wants to hear that....all they want to hear is when we will be friends again. we are friends, I just can't be with him right now without hurting....he seems to understand that, why can't you?
Just please stop, the pain is only worsening with each of your words.