fadingintoblue

Stuff
The first week of camp is over. I have survived, barely. It was an interesting week. Last Saturday I went to Brie's annual birthday pool party. Last year I felt terrible and out of place, but this year was fun. Barrett and I beat Brie's sister at pool, I had fun talking to people, and it was just an enjoyable experience in general. Then Sunday I went to the shore for the day, and I jumped the waves and enjoyed myself some more.

Monday, of course, was the first day of camp. They put me with Jen, this girl I remembered from last year as being loud and almost obnoxious on the bus. Fortuanately, she's actually really nice, interested in politics, and an unabashed feminist (and democrat). I don't think we'd be friends outside of camp, but at camp it works out. I also worked with another Jen (little Jen) and a Veronica, both of whom I enjoyed working with. And we gave each other camp names! Jen was Dragonfly, little Jen was Ladybug, Victoria was Pepper, and I was Harmony (it was the name I wanted when I was in 7th grade, and it sounds really sappy now, but they wouldn't let me take another name). The girls were plentiful and hyper, so it was a tough group, but we survived.

Wednesday I had Katie's party, which was nice. It would have been better if I had slept over I think, or if I had known more people, but some things can't be helped and it was still a nice evening (thank you Katie if you read this).

Thursday I went to a baseball game with my parents. The box was fairly empty, so it was nice. I hadn't planned to go without a friend, but even though everyone was busy, I had a good time.

So it was a nice week, for the most part. I am so happy to be out of the negative enviroment of school for a time. I feel kinda weird still though. Like at camp, when Jen's telling me about her boyfriend and how she's going out pretty much every night. And about hooking up with guys, and the like. And then a JC from another group was talking about her bf, and both of them were obsessing over the "hot" British guys (with accents) who did the sports program today. And I just felt...odd. I'm going to be 18 soon, and I've never been kissed. I've never dated. I've never had someone I liked like me back. I'm not going to meet anyone this summer because I'm working at a GS camp and going on a GS trip and even if I do develop a crush on someone, it's hard to know if someone could like me back (and it's supposedly against the rules at camp to date coworkers, but I know an adstaff member dated a ranger last year without problems). And a know a few people wait for college to date. But what if I still haven't done anything by my twenties? I want to have a relationship one day, and the longer I wait, the weirder and more difficult it will be to date. I don't even know how to ask someone out. Being clueless was fine when I was 14, but by now I'm supposed to know what to do. I feel really immature in some ways. This is all probably stupid though, and I didn't feel all that odd, considering. It's cool having a car at camp and being "old."

response?