silentcriez
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2004 22 October :: 7.07am
i had another weird dream.. part of which is much too graphic for this journal.. haha
well.. part of my dream was i was at someones house but i forget who.. and i was randomly taking a shower and then all of a sudden the shower went dry and there was no more water and i had to sleep with like soapy hair it was gross... and i cant really remember but i also had a dream that my mom was in.. hmm..
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cocopuff
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2004 19 October :: 7.24pm
:: Mood: burnt out
:: Music: Seether-" Broken"
been a while
lol now thats its been forever sinc iv written in here...
lol nikkie yelled at me today and told em to write in ehre again.. and im bored and have nothign to do so i figured i would..
well ICP was fuckin awesome...12 DAYS TILL FRIGHT FEST!!! i cant wait!!!
this weekend is Nikkies birthday!! that should b alotta fun tooo!!
hmm what else is new... oh yea! lol i got a job at roche bros.. working after school a couple days a week, not bad.. id rather have my weekends free... lol and yes roche bros not stop and shop.. everyoen works there... but yea i went and did all the paper work for that today.. madna went home sick so i went with nikkie and traci to have fun then we went to go get food.. fun funnn lol
oh yea and GO SOX!!! have faith lol we can do it this year... i hope :-/ ...
but now i rememberd y i dont write in this much... lol cuz im boring... lol so i will stop borin you people...
http://virtual.bonghit.net/
<3 Lizzy
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silentcriez
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2004 19 October :: 9.57am
:: Music: i'm stupid x abandoned pools
BLAH
home sick again..
im getting my wood floors put in today.. i guess theyre gonna take 3 days tho
friskey has a bite on her back and it looks bad i think were taking her to the animal hospital today.. she better be alright i love her so much
heres a song.. kinda sums up me
I'm stupid , you're smarter
I'm stupid, for thinking there's a way
this could turn out right
I'm dreaming, you woke up
I should have known from the start
that you were never mine
'Cause if I can make you love me
you're out of reasons to stay
Make it easy on yourself
Don't worry about me
Can't make you feel something you don't
I'm crying, but don't pity
I'm dying, but just walk away
It will be all right
'Cause I was dreaming but you woke up
And Im gonna miss you but I
am gonna be all right
'Cause if I can make you love me
You're out of reasons to stay
make it easy on yourself
dont worry about me
If I can't make you love me
You're not the one here to blame
I will make it on my own
don't worry about me
[xXx]
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silentcriez
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2004 18 October :: 6.08pm
:: Music: only you x ashanti
hummm
i stayed home from school today.. i didnt feel good and just needed to rest.. i hate mondays
i cant describe how i feel right now..idk what it is but i feel like somethings missing maybe its the fact that everything is changing? maybe its the fact that i dont talk to half of the people i used to.. idk i mean it feels good to make new friends.. but what happens when im sick of meeting new people and just want my old friends back.. i dont know.. i dont want the winter to come i dont wanna be sad.. i dont wanna be alone and i dont want things to be different anymore...
i just want to sing.. and i just want to do something with my life.. life is so short and i dont want to waste it..
idk what the hell im rambling about i just needed to get all this shit out.. not like anyone actually reads it or anything
once again ive been caught in the same infamous situation.. me wanting somebody i know i shouldnt have.. fucking shit up and realizing i cant have them.. and then leading someone on i should like.. could be happy with but cant force myself to be with.. idk how i get myself into these situations..
i miss my mom.. i miss having someone who actually cared.. i cant believe its been over a year now that shes been gone.. its still so unreal to me because i like to keep it out of my mind.. but the truth is that shes gone and never ever coming back into my life.. maybe someday ill become something that shell wish she never abandoned.. who knows..
- manda
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 16 October :: 11.51pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: how many lick*s :D
my day
today i had fun...first i spent the beginning of the day collecting and properly stacking like 300$ worth of wood for our new fire place perfectly on a rectangle stand thinger, that took liek 3 hours and im soo sore now! like fire places are so not worth it lol.
then i went to the movies with michelle and her friend corina! we saw shark tales lieka bunch of cool kids and made profane jokes throughout the whole thing lol. then we bought stickers form the sticker machine... i got a shark tales one and michelle spent like 4 bucks trying to get the one that looked liek th epepsi logo but said sexsi...yeah...? then i went home and made he rlivejournal pretty.
nd now im going to bed.
:) darien
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silentcriez
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2004 16 October :: 10.49pm
alright well..
shit is gay.. and people suck.. but what can you do.. i went to the mall (ugh) with derek alex and lizzy today.. good to be back with summer ppl :-\ i miss the summer..
fright fest is coming up im excited :)
i talked to aj on the fone last night.. havent talked to him in a while.. quite random..
i cannot wait until tomorrow :-) i wish i didnt have work
i must go because i am on elizabeths computer so.. i guess i will ramble later..
- manda
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 15 October :: 9.18pm
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: running water?
lala
well today was interesting i suppose. we had a pep rally and it was exciting lol.
the ppl actaully seemed to put alot more efforty and work into it unlike the lazy ass bum teachers in natick... like very team had a presentation, and every class voted for homecoming king and queen. oh yeah and in the sophomore class this poor girl got voted homecoming princess because all the guys voted for her as a joke! i would hvae cried if that was me! i felt so bad for her lol!
oh yeah and the cheerleaders were really good...the jv could all do back handsprings and the varsity could do back flips and front flips and all these twisty flips! haha our varsity only does back hand springs. yes well that was my fun day...i think i may go to the movies tomorrow? :-?
ill update with more interesting thoughts.
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 13 October :: 9.08pm
:: Music: poison
hmm
havent updated in a bit of a while...its weird, the feelings i am experiencing now seem somewhat familiar...but i cant remember where ive felt them before.
whatever, the days go by...and i can get through them now pretty easily...and im happy about that. i always think though, about how much happier i could be if i were still at nhs. those thoughts are pointless though, i know.
maybe everything will work itself out. maybe everything happens for a reason. maybe, just once, everything is going to be ok.
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silentcriez
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2004 11 October :: 11.53pm
icp was fucking sick :)
i got to see ryan molly ryan fogarty lindsay john keri lynds dana mark and everyone!!!
http://tinypic.com/c6m49
http://tinypic.com/c6m53
im tired of writing poetry of love
poetry of lust
poetry of wishes.. memories and such
im tired of faking happy
faking love and confidence
faking i dont miss you
this life goes on
whether or not we want it to
and im sick and tired of
amusing you all with my failure
i just wish someday i could
make something of myself
and make you all see how much i am worth
to make you wish that you had given me the time of day
make you brag that you knew me..
and make you wish that you were me
because i am nothing as of today..
but as for tomorrow..
wait and see
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silentcriez
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2004 7 October :: 10.26pm
ok so i keep thinking about my dream.. its really creeping me out i read about what some things in dreams mean so if you have any input let me know this stuff really interests me..
i forgot to mention other parts of my dream before
i was in the school when i woke up and was talking to john morris crying saying that i didnt want the cold to come and looking out the window and seeing feet of snow outside..
Snow – Repressed feelings, critical, judgmental
School – Learning about yourself with a view to improving yourself
Hallway – Uterus
White
Perfection
Meaning: Hope, faith, purity, perfection, confidence, enlightenment.
When mixed or associated with other colors it purifies and refines the meaning of that color.
White alone can indicate a proud, rigid, judgmental immaturity - a ‘should be’, controlling attitude.
Soft or pearl white can indicate the gift of prophesy.
Green
heart
Meaning: Adaptability, reconciliation, Need for healing, harmony, balance, reconciliation (within self or self with others).
Dark green, battle dress green or green and black represent difficulties with sharing (jealousy, rivalry). Need to balance male and female aspects. Look for trouble with the heart.
Balance and healing for the heart, circulatory systems and emotions by becoming more giving, generous and emotionally ‘open’.
i cant think of any other keywords from my dream..
i dont know but from re-reading what i remembered about it i think that it means i dont want winter to come.. i dont want change to come and i cant accept all that im going to lose but from the words of ::someone:: in this dream they are telling me that i shouldnt worry because all that i lose ill get back someday.. and that some things may change.. but they will always change back? maybe? idk i wish i knew tho..
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