[ S w e e T L a d i i ' ]

:: 2004 2 March :: 9.12pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: my immortal - evansecence

i wrote these in my spanish class
"locked away"

she hides those
falling tears
behind that closed door

fearing the young
girl will see the tears and
a flood of questions will arise

never letting her know
till the curtain drops
was always the mother's plan

as these months dwindled
her strong face could take no more
every night she hides her tears behind the door

she always knew the plan wouldnt work
soon she will have to tell, but how
will she tell her young daughter that her father's life is almost over?

-and-

"accomplishment"

territory
that no one so young
would never have set foot on

since they are gone
the land calls
for them

they follow the pleas
and cross the boundary
with the stares af all the cowardly others

forgeting the stairs
they enjoy the mystery
and walk out with their heads higher

peace out//hugs not drugs yall
*:) Andie

:: 2004 1 March :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Vehicles Shock Me - Ghost of the Robot

your blinding concerto brings me to my knees
ok. healthy obsession. day one. ilyssa wants to make bracelets.
im so happy. i have all the ghost of the robot songs :) now i have to burn 4 copies hahaahaha.

i started thinking today. i was in math looking at my purple worksheet. and.. the world didnt feel right. if you look at it, how society, economy, and.. technology just goes past us. how everything seems so important, but when you compare it to life itself, it looks pathetically lame. and i wondered if anything was after this. here. life. i mean, everyone talks about heaven and it being a residual fact of.. existence, and i know it is there. but i cant help feeling what i would actually feel if (here it comes again) society hadnt made it so important and planted into my brain so early on. and really. considering how huge we've figured out that the universe really is.. just earth being here seems like an awful big waste of space.

sigh...

that was my conflit for the day. but. hey. whatever. i would really just like to make it through one day at a time. especially since we have fcat tomorrow. i would like to shoot myself.

i also realized that i use 'wankers' and 'pansy' more than i thought i have been. it usually gives a nice sarcastic bite. but now? who knows. carrie says it is just james. damn his hotness, right carrie? hahaha.

:: 2004 1 March :: 4.01pm
:: Mood: happy//creative
:: Music: everlong - foo fighters

a little poem i wrote
"happiness"

i look around this place
and nothing can seem to make me happy

till i set foot out of
these melancholy walls

and feel the warm loving embrace of the
shimmering sunlight dancing upon my face

marveling at the beautiful artwork, bright gay flowers
that grin and wave as i dreamily walk past

crisp wind, blowing in my face,
telling me all the secrets of the land

am i a long lost child of mother nature
or a cooped up soul relishing the beauty of the world?

peace out//hugs not drugs yall
*:) Andie

thoughtskill

:: 2004 29 February :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: none..

i have no idea what to do -*

friday.. movies. there were so many people there =] we had to sit on the flOor cuz there was no seats - kev got mad at me for hangin out w. nick.. mm yea but he asked me out a couple x but i sed i dunno.. i have no idea what im gonna do.. anyway than kev left n i was with nick for about an hour.. than went home n sarah spent the night.. woke up round 10 went to the fields round 1:30 .. watched kevo's game they lost !! =[ ::tear tear:: .. than we were gonna walk home lol but kev's mom took us home =] thank godd cuhz it was 6 miles.. haha but we were gonna do it ! than me n sarah went to kaela's house.. n than we all went back to my house for a while .. kaela left n sarah spent the night gain stayed up till like 5 iish we tried on all these cloths n took sooo many pikz lol n than finally fell asleep.. woke up round 11 sarah left round 2 .. came back n did my homework n was lazy all day =] nick was spossed to come over but my mommy wouldnt let him =[
thats bout it...

i love u jill !

*- just know i cant live without you

2 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 29 February :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: perfect - sara evans

the three amigos
well today i was looking through my room. lookin where you're not really looking for anything specifacly, but just looking. anyways i found this ol picture. if i was a little more skilled in the woohu world i would put it on here, but i'm not so oh well.

it was a picture of me, im guessing age six. i was wearing a horrificly hideous black velvet dress with a big poofy pink skirt part and white tights.to my left was my friend diandra and to my right was katie.

diandra was missing a few teeth and katie looked like she didnt even know the picture was bein taken. haha. i look at it and aww. i love how we are all still friends today.

katie lives on the other coast. i talk to her when she is online and am trying to plan to do something for next time she is in town.

diandra...well i am talkin to her right now. haha. goin to the afi concert on thursday and i went bowlin with her last saturday night.

i hope that in 9 years..
i will be looking through my room. lookin where you're not really looking for anything specifacly, but just looking. and i will find an ol picture.

a picture of myself with one friend i have now on the right and another friend to the left. i will go "what in the world were we wearing?" as i look at out fashions from 6 years ago.

then i will call them up...or send it to them and say..."look at this ol picture i found! look how young we were!"

peace out//hugs not drugs yall
*:) Andie

:: 2004 28 February :: 10.22pm
:: Mood: sleepy

your silence chokes the doorway like cobwebs
i went to the symphony tonight. it was awesome. i forgot what it was like to be in an audience, instead of looking at one. there was a hot guy. woo. that makes it a double thumbs up :)

today was fba band contest. straight excellences on stage and a superior in sightreading.

lisa's friends = loud.
her chums are here. it is not particularly joyous on my part, of course. i kinda just wanna hit the sack.

hm. i seem to come up with all these different lyrical sentences (i guess thats what you'd call them). but they dont piece together. for example, my subject. i dont know where i got it from. i basically just looked at my door.

oh. bollocks. i might have to go to church tomorrow. id much rather stay and sleep in (;

:: 2004 27 February :: 3.12pm
:: Mood: questioning//wondering
:: Music: sick sad little world - incubus

what once was...
always when i am walking around,
whether from one class to another, to the mailbox, or just going to my room, walking always makes the gears in my head turn slightly faster.

so as i was walking home from my bus stop. exhausted from school and relieved that the weekend was finally here. i was watching the ground as a walked. each step farther, with me staring in the cluster of shamrocks. looking hopefully to find a four leaf clover to change my luck around a bit.

i briefly stopped my search for luck and glanced over at the elementary school that is by my neighborhood. the playground was full of life and it made me wish that i was six again, with no front teeth or responsibilities more than feeding your fish "spot."

realizing that the only way i could go back was from memory, i started to look at the actual building of the school. i wondered what was here before this instuition of knowledge and growing up was built.

maybe there once was a wondrous forest there.

little boys and girls would play in it on the weekend from the time they finished their breakfast to the minute their mothers yelled for them to come in and eat dinner. the boys would play "safari", where they would pretend they were traveling through a dangerous forest in the amazon and imaginary villians would take the girls and the boys would have to fight off fierce, golden, lions and raging ,violent, rivers to save them.

the forest there was a place were you could be a brave hero or a damsel in distress. you could find a low, mossy, tree branch and hop up and read you favorite book with the few rays of sunlight that came through the thick ceiling the trees made. you could pick a variety of vibrant wildflowers and put them all together and give them to your valentine. you could dash through with a net, aimlessy swatting it in the air, even though the bright orange and yellow butterfly is just always inches out of your reach.

now that once majestic forest where you could do what you want and be whatever your heart's desire wanted you to be is now a bland school. the walls of the school confining you to the world of math, science and history. where make believe is being replaced with facts and books.

even though the forest has been gone for a while
one thing remains
still on that land
you can still be anything your heart's desire wants you to be

peace out//hugs not drugs yall
*:) Andie

thoughtskill

:: 2004 27 February :: 8.28am
:: Mood: cheerful

I'll be yours

heyy muh b-e-a-utiful peoplez! wow this week went by fast.. nothin really has been goin on .. wendesday it was raining reallly hard all day &the games were canceled.. last night the games were canceled 2 soO me & sarah talked on the fone lyk all day from lyk 5-10 haha n today shes comin over =] & we might go to the movies i dunno whatever we feel lyk
jay still hates me. he never wants to talk to me again i guess? ='[

right more when i got more to say.

if you'll be mine

Rina	:: 2004 26 February :: 10.51pm :: Mood: curious search the stars can you find me even if im lost? or will i have to search through the sea of fog? ever get that feeling when you dont exactly know if you're dreaming or not? 6 dr0p everything \| start it all 0ver...

2 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 26 February :: 8.14pm
:: Mood: wondering...
:: Music: scar tissue - red hot chilli peppers

the oddities that cross my ever wondering mind..
so today while i was walking out of my health class.
my head high up in the clouds, my brain churning like the ocean in the midst of a hurricane. when all of a sudden i remembered something....

it was this scene

a boy and a girl walking through this park that was laden with every vibrant hue of green you can imagine

there was a small bit of fog hangin in the air

when they stopped at a stone statue of some sort of a fairy on a mushroom

they both crouched down and sat under the mushroom, shrubs with tiny light purple flowers surrounding the barren spot under the mushroom where they were sitting

the boy started smoking a joint

and the girl asked, "why do you do that?"

the boy replied, "i do it to get rid of my memories."

the girl then asked, "well why do you do that? what about good memories? don't you want to keep them?"

then the boy told her, " i dont have many good memories to keep."

then the memory ended

odd thing is, i dont know it that was in a movie i saw or a dream i had

peace out//hugs not drugs yall
*:) Andie

2 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 26 February :: 8.08pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday

her eyes doth linger

today was blah.

i got a 50 on my math test.

yesterday i went to japocu after school. we watched monty python and the holy grail. i heart the black knight.

flute lessons = pain.

me, car, carrie, ilyssa and sydney have a healthy obsession.

:: 2004 24 February :: 11.04pm
:: Mood: intrigued
:: Music: with or without you - U2

i really should go to sleep but..
ok so i was just sitting on my bathroom counter. balancing so i dont fall into the sink. humming along to bono on the radio as he croons "with or without you." as i curled my hair

i know what yall are thinking...
"andie you nut! why are you curling your hair when its almost 11!?!?!"
well i kinda always do that. right before i hop in the shower i do something totally out of the box with my hair or make up...ya see..if i dont like it, im just gonna wash it off anyways

so back on track..
as i hummed along i realized. we live one day at a time. i will never have this day again. never ever again will there be a february 24th in 2004. did i live this day right?

you will never have that second again. did you spend it right?

tomorrow is tomorrow.
am i gonna take a risk? a risk for tomorrow. yes maybe the repercussions of it may appear in other days to come. but will i live tomorrow as if it will be my last?

peace out//hugs not drugs yall
*:) Andie

:: 2004 24 February :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: high...not in that way...the way you feel when you
:: Music: bend and not break - dashboard confessional

i feel like writin so embrace yourself
i'm not sure if its cause its 10 and im on the brink of conking out on my keyboard
or
it its the dashboard confessional that is going through my head as i listen to it
or..
i dunno
but i just feel like writing

i hate how everything is classified. i admit i use it sometimes but it really bugs me. "so was he a punk or prep?" "did you see that freak in gym class?" those things just really bother me. ok so what- the dude wears clothes that dont match but has a totally kickin attitude and a sense of humor to boot. thats ok. the snooty girls can turn their over powdered nose up at him. they dont see the goodness. and they will prob go for the mr. cocky, "i love ME" dude whose clothes match and are all from the store where the cheapest thing you can get is a pair of socks...for 20 bucks. now in that sense i ask..who would you rather hang out with?

"as lovers go" is on. this song makes me feel very light and happy and makes my blood fill with tiny hearts.
i love love.
ya know? that rising wave of emotion when that person is near you. either 50 feet away or sitting right next to you.
they way the silliest things...like the sun glintin through a flower or a sunset where it paints the nearby clouds a bright pinkish purple...make you aww and smile.

i hate missing people.
it is odd having one person with you then no seeing them for a while. when you miss someone and you look back on the last time you see how fast time goes. how fast it goes now that you are looking BACK on it but on the other hand it goes as slow as molasses while you are living that day without that person and you impatiently count down the days till you see them again.

i think i would love to go up north for the beginning of spring. to aprecciate the rebirth of the earth from its frozen state.livin in florida where the closest thing to a frozen state is the frost on your frozen foods in your overstocked freezer. i would just absolutely love to see the snow melt and these bright, wonderous flowers pop out as if they had been playing a game of hide and seek.

peace out//hugs not drugs yall
*:) Andie

6 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

:: 2004 24 February :: 7.25pm
:: Mood: happy! :)
:: Music: white flag - dido

i know i left too much mess and destruction to come back again

LMFAO woooooooooooow.

great weekend.
i went bowling with lindsay and andrea at galaxy lanes on friday night. :) we could only bowl one game though because there were a bunch of leagues. and oh man. andrea. it is called a strike!!! hahahaha dude. and she is the reigning champion of the altoids. 11 PEPPERMINT ALTOIDS IN HER MOUTH AT ONCE! that kicks your ass so bad you will be crying. anyways, that was way fun. too bad about her punk leaving her hahahahah! bowler's arthritis!

saturday. movie night at lissa's!! we rented house of the dead, dickie roberts, the visitors, and sleepy hollow. we watched dickie roberts first. chelsea and sydney were laughing the entire time!!!! man that is great. we ate candy and we each had a glowstick around our neck. mine was pinkish-purple. wooot :D

sunday. church and then amanda's birthday. there were like 6 of us and we went to the movies to see lotr 3. man, me and car were in the back and we were yelling!! you know when those ghost soldiers come out of the ships and start attacking? we were like 'WHAT NOW, BITCH?!!'
it was grand.

monday wasnt too bad. i think ms freis likes to give out homework that is literally impossible to do. seriously. it is impossible. its not you say? well then, why do you tell me how the evolution of african and floridian land over time could affect the theories of darwin, lamarck, and that one guy about disneyland's animal kingdom.
yea.

today. i felt like crap this morning. so i stayed home. but then i felt better mid-afternoon. woot. it felt like i was getting away with playing hookie!! hahaha.
GQ SKIP DAY! wooooo andrea.
tomorrow i have two quizzes.
bugger.

well, i guess i should brush up on animal kingdom. (why the hell am i in that damn class anyways???!) oh well.
nevermind. i have to go do dishes instead.
ta :)

:: 2004 24 February :: 4.20pm
:: Mood: happy//tired//irritated
:: Music: goo goo dolls - iris

a couple of things i noticed today...
a.) i need anger management..not that im violent when im angry..just need to learn how to breathe in and out or somethin haha :P

b.) math aggravates me

c.) so does walking in the hall

d.) i am very indecisive. it takes me forever to pick anything. i switch topics as if i am playing musical chairs. like for instance, i cant pick a confirmation name. at the moment i am stuck between valentine, kieran, and audrey. also i cant pick what career i want to do in the future. i think i am like this because i am scared that i am going to pick the wrong one and have to live with it forever. plus i will always have that thought of "what would of happened if i picked the other?" nippin at my brain.

e.) i am a loudmouth. i mean that i will not cower in talkin to strangers. giving a speech is a different thing but..the other night with no fear or nervousness at all i asked this spanish dude if that was his tacklebox sitting in the middle of olive garden.

f.) i need sound. i cant stand being in a place of complete utter silence. i need some sound of some sort in order to make me happy. not sounds like my ma hollerin and my brother cryin but more like music or birds twirpin or the wind or something

g.) today at school i felt like i wasnt watching a movie of school. i felt like i was actually in it. manda, jake, and maureen and i were walkin back from lunch and i felt like i wasnt invisible for the first time in a while.

when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am
goo goo dolls

peace out//hugs not drugs yall
*:) Andie

thoughtskill

:: 2004 24 February :: 8.40am
:: Mood: uncomfortable

youxwillxnever

HmMm.. sO yeserday was another yankee'z game 15-0 wOo hOo GoO yAnkEez!! they are reallly gOod.. undefeated so far.. wOop wOop .. neway me & sarah went & kev was playin so we couldnt tlk to him so we went n hung out w/ evan & tyler.. n we got our lollipops [ best part of the whole game ] & swung on the swings.. lol .. n than the four of us jus layed on this thing on one of the open fieldz n talked & laughed .. [ dat be my hip ! lol ] .. than we came back n watched Corey, Julian , & Bryan's game.. i love sarah she is sooo awsome we are hangin out alot latelly and we have alot in common n shes jus a sweethear .. <3333

well thats it..
write more later.

knowxhowxmuchxixlovexyou

81 dr0p everything | start it all 0ver...

LaLa91

:: 2004 23 February :: 8.16pm
:: Music: give it up--fefe dobson

ummm... 4 hours till my b-day!!! today was ok.. ya know, school, what more do i hav to say. kayla wasnt at school today and i came in late b/c of my orthodontist appt.

you want her and you need her and you beg her but you deceive her

during my time in gulf middle i've learned that ppl are self centered, ignorant, perverted, and selfish... [[ANYBODY WANT TO TRANSFER??]] rumors, sluts, [[wanna-be]] pimps.. our school has got to be one of the worst.. but thatnk godd i hav all of my friendz. they're what make this school a little less selfish .. itz not "all about me" with them.. sure sometimes we have attitudes bbut who doesnt.??

well ima go to bedd... and

for all the people who hate me.. one word..
JEALOUSY

LaLa91

:: 2004 23 February :: 1.35pm

i swear that i can go on forever again
please let me know that my one bad day will end
i will go down as your lover your ~~friend~~
give me your lipz and with one kiss we begin

are you afraid of being alone? cause i am im lost without you
are you afraid of leaving tonight cause i am. im lost without you

I'll leave my room open til sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes ~~patiently~~ focused on you
where are you ~~now?~~
i can hear footsteps
im dreaming
and if you ~~will~~ keep me from waking to beleive this

are you afraid of being alone? cause i am. im lost without you
are you afraid of leaving tonight cause i am. ~~im lost without you~~

LoST WiThOUt You---- BlInK182

LaLa91

:: 2004 22 February :: 7.15pm

My B-DaY iS IN 2 DaYz!!!
hey hey ... i thought of some more things i want... the sims and a
blink 182 t-shirt!!
[[which i really want pretty badd..

any wayz... my weekend was good.. friday kayla and mia came over and we rented cabin fever, [[scary movie]] and american wedding [[funny]] on saturday kayla and i went to a party. and we hung out. for 2 hours. lol.. kayla's dad picked us up and we dropped kaitlyn blanchette off at her house. [[we also passed chris' so i got to c his house.. lol]] umm.. when we got home kayla and i were plannin on hittin the movies but ended up just watchin freddy vs. jason, and making funny songs out of blink 182 lol... kayla... playing sims... mad tv and snl.. cruel intentions... a fun time.. what more can i say?? lol. i had to go home at around 2:3o b/c kayla had to go to a bball game up in port charlotte.. i hope u won kaylag [[lol sims]] tell me all about it. at round 4:3o my mom and i met up with bailey and her madre' to get party supplies.. after me and my mom went to get bailey her b-day present [[and she went to get mine]] lol... we tryed goin into jcpenny's but the lady kicked me and momma out "WE'RE CLOSED'' i just dont think she knew who she was talking to.. hmm.. now im at my nrighbors house. i just had din-din.. yum. lol. im gonna go...

hollA
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