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2002 27 July :: 2.33pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: air conditioning.
1.Full Name: Sarah Ray Rondot
2. Were you named after anyone: well.. Ray is my grandma's maiden name... and Sarah was my mom's favorite girl name. she loved that song... "sarah.. no time is a good time for goodbye"
3. Do you wish on stars: the first one out
4. Which finger is your favorite: I don't think anyone has ever asked
me this before. I don't really have a favorite... maybe my ring finger on my left hand... its the only one i wear a ring on. i like thumbs... hell i don't know
5. When did you last cry: uhhh.. couple weeks ago i think
6. Do you like your handwriting: yeah, sure
7. What is your favorite lunchmeat: lunchmeat... no... pb and j- the american staple
8. Any bad habits: i thought i had stopped biting my nails and then i realized last night most of them are gone... damn the man....
9. What is your most embarrassing CD: probably something like nsync
10. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? sure why not
11. Are you a daredevil: Depends on the dare.
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell: when i was little, i think.
13. Do looks matter: to some degree... there's gotta be some sort of attraction present
14. Have you ever mis-used a word and it sounded absolutely stupid: my mom does that a lot
15. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: i saw the greatest rainbow on my trip this summer.... it was the whole sky and it was doubled. pot of gold? yeah and dancing midgets with irish accents
16. Do fish have feelings: that would be sad if they did and had to live in a fishbowl.
17. Are you trendy: only when i'm wearing Allie's clothes
18. How do you release anger? i guess i cry. and write. oh, and run/swim.
19. Where is your second home: right here. lillians. and tcs.
20. Do you trust others easily: not really
21. What was your favorite toy as a child: i was a fanatic of anything i could make... drawings... painting.. that lincoln logs deal
22. What class in school do you think is totally useless: anything under the title "____ block" ...i think i made myself even more retarded taking religion this year
23. Do you like sappy love songs: no, not sappy ones
24. Have you ever been on radio or television: Why yes, i have. i did a commercial for 88.1
25. Do you have a journal: yeah...
26. Do you use sarcasm a lot: no. never.
27. Have you ever been in a mosh pit:
yeah, once... i was actually trying to get out of it for like 35 minutes before i finally did.... my wallet got stolen
28. What do you look for in a guy/girl: this is an original question, i swear... someone i can talk to
29. What are your nicknames: bo.. gopher.. wow random names that lillian calls me. Ray..
30. Would you bunjee jump: yeah
31. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off: i wear sandals
32. What are you worried about right now? just one?
33. Do you ever wear overalls: ..not since i was about 5. i used to have those oshkosh ones though..
34. Do you think that you are strong physically: sure
35. What's your favorite ice cream flavor: snickers... heh good stuff lil
36. What's your favorite color: dark red
37. What is your least favorite thing in the world: fake people. and the dentist
38. How many wisdom teeth do you have: 3 maybe? they're all gone
39. Are you in love with anyone: no
40. How many people have a crush on you right now: a crush? god i hate that word. i don't know really.. wouldn't that defeat the purpose of a "crush"?
41. Who do you miss most right now: elyse
42. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back:
43. What scares u most: not doing anything with my life
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DayDream
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2002 27 July :: 11.10am
:: Mood: Insightful
:: Music: Incubus~Hilikus
1.Full Name: Allison Irene Wehrsten
2. Were you named after anyone: Hah, well sort of. My parents got the
Allison part from the man they were buying carpet from. He said something
about having to pick up his daughter Allison somewhere. They both liked
it, and now that's me. The Irene is my Grammy's name though.
3. Do you wish on stars: Definitely.
4. Which finger is your favorite: I don't think anyone has ever asked
me this before. I don't really have a favorite...
5. When did you last cry: Unfortunately, not too long ago. I think it
was just last week.
6. Do you like your handwriting: I change it so much I'm really not sure
what it's lookin like at the moment. But yea, i would say so. It's very
bubbly heh.
7. What is your favorite lunchmeat: Again, i don't think anyones ever
asked this before. I'm a fan of turkey though.
8. Any bad habits: Heh of course, who doesn't? Umm, i stopped biting my
nails so i can't say that one. But i guess i manipulate people...which
is something i really need to stop.
9. What is your most embarrassing CD: Heh wow. I was definitely a teeny
bopper at a time so any of those are pretty bad...those days are over thank
God, but probably a Hanson cd or something...
10. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Ya know,
i don't think so. I don't understand why people hang out with me at all.
Maybe they just feel sorry for me because i am seriously the biggest dork
you'd ever meet.
11. Are you a daredevil: Depends on the dare.
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell: Yea, i hate to admit
that.
13. Do looks matter: Not so much. They help, but you can't judge people
on that.
14. Have you ever mis-used a word and it sounded absolutely stupid: Yea,
on like a daily basis.
15. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: You
mean some people don't think so?
16. Do fish have feelings: Sure, i think everything has some sort of feeling.
17. Are you trendy: I guess i can be. But not really. I couldn't tell
you the "latest trends" with some fahsion designer or something. As long
as it fits, and isn't ass ugly, it works.
18. How do you release anger? I write. Or yell, whichever comes first.
19. Where is your second home: Hmm, Lizz or Lauren's probably. Then again
i can always crash at Meg's...
20. Do you trust others easily: Hah that's a no.
21. What was your favorite toy as a child: Wow, umm...maybe my Legos...?
22. What class in school do you think is totally useless: How about every
class at TCS...?
23. Do you like sappy love songs: Eh, not so much. They can be cute if
it's like you and your guys "song" but to just listen to...maybe not.
24. Have you ever been on radio or television: Why yes, i have.
25. Do you have a journal: I do indeed. I switched to the online version
because people kept finding my other one...not a good situation.
26. Do you use sarcasm a lot: All the time.
27. Have you ever been in a mosh pit: Definitely have. Hell i was at Warped
Tour wut do you expect. It was hella fun...until you get stepped on...or
landed on...
28. What do you look for in a guy/girl: Ahh the famous question, I look
for a guy who enjoys long walks on the beach and picnics in the park...ok,
heh for real. I guess just someone i can trust and talk to. Nothin too
special, just an all around good guy.
29. What are your nicknames: Allie, Alz, Allisana, Panda, Princess Anna..don't
ask, wut else..oh Snickers! hah
30. Would you bunjee jump: Yea, that would be cool.
31. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off: Usually not.
32. What are you worried about right now? Too many things...
33. Do you ever wear overalls: Hah not since i was about 5.
34. Do you think that you are strong physically: Mmm, not so much. Mentally yea. Physically maybe not.
35. What's your favorite ice cream flavor: Gotta love the Phish Food...and good ol Vanilla can be good. I'm a fan of Heath and cookie dough too.
36. What's your favorite color: Any shade of blue and really light pinks or really dark reds.
37. What is your least favorite thing in the world: People who can't speak for themselves, or I guess don't know how. But i supposed that would be the saddest thing...i guess my least favorite thing in the world would be all the wonderful flaws i have, or needles.
38. How many wisdom teeth do you have: 3 maybe? I really don't know. They hurt like a bitch...
39. Are you in love with anyone: I would like to think so.
40. How many people have a crush on you right now: Umm, well. I've never really thought about it. I hope one person for sure...but i wouldn't guess anyone else.
41. Who do you miss most right now: All of my friends.
42. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back: Sure, why not.
43. What scares u most: Dying, and needles. Funny i keep getting things pierced...hmm...
1 freedom fighter |
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2002 26 July :: 3.49pm
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imation
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2002 26 July :: 3.38pm
:: Mood: bouncy
sexy sexy do your thing.... learn to be shy and then you can sting....
quickly quickly call and then you'll know its such an awkward show to see... and everyone you wantd to know, and everyone you wanted to meet.. have all gone away.... you're breaking your mind ...
ahhh, jack johnson... i had a dream the other night that adam reed bought be tickets to his concert and i got so excited that i jumped on him and stayed like that for like 5 minutes... then i woke up.... and told lillian the dream, but i don't think she was awake yet. sigh.
i'm really looking forward to tomorrow night, lesley.... "shedding inhabitions" is my top priority for the weekend. a whole 24 hours with you sounds wonderful right now.... till tomorrow...
2 freedom fighters |
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leftofcool
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2002 25 July :: 11.55pm
i'm so tired and so numb. i've lost what little ability i had to interact socially and humor people. i know its a bad habit to begin with, but being a complete asshole never really helped anyone. i dont even have anything of merit or intelligence to say. i have no energy. as far as the id, ego, and superego go... i'm definately in the id stage. i just want to drink and get some ass. i finally got around to finishing prozac nation on my trip, but i dont have any followup commentary of any value. not that the book had a point to begin with...
i went out with jamie and lammers tonight and forgot about how much i missed them. for some reason, we went to hacienda and dan deckard was working there so he bought us our dinner... yay for free shit... then we went to st.louis frozen custard or whatev and i swear to god (sarah r.) that i saw ariel tellatin which was wierd. if her shorts were rolled up any higher she would need a flashlight to find them up in her ass.
so yeah, anyway, being shallow is so easy
2 freedom fighters |
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2002 25 July :: 7.03pm
sigh. anyways. aaron and i are kinda together, in a crazy way. we both don't want that serious-ness of a seclusive relationship but still "want" the other. he's been hurt so many times, and i honestly have no idea what it means to be hurt like that anymore. i have been, once or twice. but i've never loved someone, and i've never not gotten over something.... does that make me strong or inexperienced?
hell i don't know. but i can't stop thinking about lowell. maybe this whole we haven't been more than friends for awhile was good for us. maybe we will realize how we are as people and like each other even more.. or something... maybe i was the only one doing the liking all along. or something... fuck. hell if you know what i mean, let me know, cause i have no fucking idea....
i'm gonna go wake lil. she's been sleeping for ages.
2 freedom fighters |
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2002 25 July :: 6.57pm
:: Mood: blah
last night i went to aaron's and we sat in his park, and he told me about his "first love." this girl named Kathryn, 7th grade-8th grade deal, but for him, this was intense and immeasurable love. hes the type of guy that was ready for a relationship by the age of 8, and probably had them too. sophisticated bastard. Kathryn was everything to him.. perfect.. beautiful and smart and athletic and caring and... just everything. he loved her. he loved himself with her and her with him. he talked about her last night, while i had my head on his chest, and he actually got pretty choked up and pushed me away... it was weird. he sat up and kept talking about her, and what happened when they broke up, and how he cried and cried and cried, and how he has to see her every day still, and every single day, even after its been like 3 years, it still hurts him.
.... god i thought he was going to cry, but he hugged me instead. and wiped his eyes. and i asked him if he was ok? and he said, yeah, and that's why he doesn't get in relationships. because he compares them too much to Kathryn, his first love, and its not fair to the girl. and i understood him so well in that moment. and we hugged, and stayed like that and i listened to his heartbeat and everything felt so... raw. so out there in the open. and i got uncomfortable all of a sudden and i realized what exactly i will never be to aaron, and that was a scary thought. i will never be close enough to do this much damage to him as Kathryn did, because he will never let me get this close.
god if that's what love is, i don't want to get close to it. ever.
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2002 25 July :: 5.18pm
:: Mood: anxious
miss "get-offline-so-we-can-do-something" is now fast asleep. and here i am again... as daydream says, this week HAS been crazy. but good crazy. i feel so close to allie this week... sittin on her floor, talking for hours about meaningless stuff that sounds important, drinking skyy and laughing and laughing... tickling and cuddling and ... sigh. sometimes, i just don't know with her. i know that she questions my ..like.. for her or whatever, but then i start to question hers and its a big vicious cycle that nobody wins in.
..it might be the fact that she never makes any moves. she tells me all the time that she doesn't.. and she won't. ever. its ... infuriating? no... that's not the word. maybe i just feel how a lot of guys feel now. damn, it sucks.
1 freedom fighter |
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DayDream
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2002 25 July :: 11.30am
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Chilli Peppers~By the Way
Wow, i haven't written in a while...alot has happened though. At the moment nothing, but this week has just beein insane. Monday night happened...that was interesting. Nathan didn't "agree" with the whole thing which made me laugh. I'll never be able to figure that kid out. I was supposed to call him today...
So Sarah's over at Lil's now. She got home yesterday or maybe the day before. I haven't seen her in ever.
Last night the tension in this house was so fucking strong i wanted to scream to try and break it. My Grammy got sick again and so my aunt freaking out along with my mom and they were all "we might have to take her to the hospital again" and my dad is such a fucking dick. He's all pissed off because he's awake after 10 and has to get up to go to work. And he's bitchin at my mom because the house wasn't cleaned and it's like christ, settle down, she works too. But of course he works the hardest out of all of us and we've never been able to appreciate that. My ass. So he was being such a fucker i wanted to scream and yell at him but i just sat there. The Carbon Monoxide detector kept going off and he was giving my mom shit over that and it's like yea, good call. Becasue she can help that and all. I wish i wasn't scared to stand up to him. He just intimidates the fuck out of me. And i hate it. I hate that he can talk me down to nothing and make me feel so stupid. And i hate that he always wins. That's what i hate the most. That, and he's the only person i'm afraid to argue with. I feel the most sorry for my mom. She has to put up with my random mood swings and my dad's constant complaining. And she works outside all day at the Muny. I really don't know how she does it.
So after my mom figured out what was going on with my Grammy my dad had to make a whole scene about how he didn't get to go to sleep and all this crap because my mom wanted him awake and it's like well hey, you're almost right. So he stomped upstairs and slammed his bedroom door. Oh yes, his bedroom door. It's wonderful, my parents don't sleep in the same room anymore which i found out was a big secret. I swear to God. Either one of them is going to kill the other or they're getting divorced. They've already decided that they aren't living together when i'm in college. My mom's goin back to New York and my Dad's going to live on a farm...don't ask. But yea, so i don't know what the hell that's all about, but that's what they wanted to do, and that's what they tell peoeple so...i don't know.
Ahh, i'm supposed to be cleaning. My mom's having some 40 people over tonight and i'm the lucky little bitch that has to have everything ready for her when she gets home. I really, really don't want to. Now now. I'm so tired, and there's people at my house that i don't know and i just want to go hide under my covers and sleep for a long, long time. Damn, i have to clean the pool too. Grr.
Yesterday was good during the day. Poor Lizzie though. Andrew broke up with her and she was crying and came and stayed with me and Sarah. Then again she just talked on the phone for some 5 hours with a new clan of guys, but i guess that's what she needed. So we went to the mall and I kinda felt bad for Ray. She didn't know anyone first of all, and my friends aren't exactly you're average lookin kids. I failed to mention to her that Paul had a mowhake. Heh. I think she was surprised. But Lizz, on the other hand. Srpung right back and claimed Steve as her next victim. Which is wonderful, but unfortunate at the same time. I kinda had my eye on Steve...oh well. Not like i could get him anyway. Hah i'll just keep workin on Brandon...HAH that's even funnier. Oh well, i can dream...
Damn. I still have so much shit to do today, and i haven't even really started.
Incubus tickets go on sale tomorrow. I'm excited. I really wanna go, and i realy want good seats. But Lisa said she wanted to sit on the lawn...which is cool. But I wanna be upfront ya know? Ahh, i'll talk to someone. Maybe Nathan would go with me...heh. Well i should probably get goin...the dishes are calling...
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leftofcool
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2002 25 July :: 8.40am
they have a really cool program here in a bunch of the restraunts called Smart Ride. if you tell your server that you are the designated driver, you get free coffee and soft drinks all night. then, you get a discount on your food. also, they give you a coupon to come back for a discount.
i thought it was fairly intelligent...
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2002 23 July :: 9.11pm
wow, i just found out lillian gets home tomorrow at 8pm!!! im so excited... i thought she didn't get home till at least this weekend... tomorrow will be a good day. meeting allie's friends at the mall, aaron in the evening, and going to lillian's after. i haven't seen her in 18 days. too long.
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leftofcool
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2002 23 July :: 8.11pm
Answer questions using lyrics from only one band.
Band: ani d.
1. Are you male or female?:
i am not a pretty girl
2. Describe yourself?:
taken out of context i must seem so strange
3. How do they feel about you?:
every time i say something
they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
4. How do you feel about yourself?:
they say goldfish have no memory
i guess their lives are much like mine
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?:
i am watching your chest rise and fall
like the tides of my life and the rest of it all...
...with eachothers shadow we grow less and less tall
and eventually our theories couldnt explain it all
6. What would you rather be doing?:
i've had a little bit to drink... and its making me think...
that i could jump ship and swim
that the ocean will hold me
that theres got to be more than this boat i'm
7. Describe where you live?:
boys get locked up in some prison
girls get locked up in some house
it dont matter if its a warden, or a lover, or a spouse
you just cant talk to them
you just cant reason-- you just cant leave,
and you just cant please them
8. Describe how you live?:
maybe you can keep me from ever being happy
but youre not going to stop me from having fun
9. Describe how you love?:
i just hope it was ok
i know it wasnt perfect
i hope in the end we can laugh
and say it was all worth it
10. Share a few words of wisdom?:
(on the topic of 9/11..)
on a morning beatific in its indian summer breeze
on the day that america fell to its knees
after strutting around for a century
without saying thank you or please
2 freedom fighters |
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DayDream
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2002 22 July :: 6.25pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Incubus~Make Yourself
Answer questions using lyrics from only one band.
Band: Incubus
1. Are you male or female?:
Bat your eyes girl,
be other worldy,
count your blessings,
seduce a stranger.
2. Describe yourself?:
Stranger then a gang of drunken mimes.
I like to stink a little bit,
just to keep you on your toes yes. (lol)
3. How do they feel about you?:
Like a bottle with the cork stuck,
you're true ingredients are trapped up inside.
Through the cloudy glass we catch a glimpse of you.
I guess the hard shell represents your pride.
Oh, if only it could be different,
we could uncover the you, you deny.
4. How do you feel about yourself?:
I haven't felt the way
I feel today
in so long it's hard for me to specify.
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?:
How do you do it?
Make me feel like i do.
I think i was dreaming up some thoughts that were seemingly possible...with you.
So i call you on the tin can phone,
we rendezvous at a quarter-two,
and make sure we're alone.
I may have found a way for you and i to finally fly free
when we get there, we're gonna go far away.
6. What would you rather be doing?:
Floating down a river named emotion.
7. Describe where you live?:
The sky resembles a backlit canopy,
with holes punched in it.
8. Describe how you live?:
I'm born
I'm alive
I breathe.
In a moment or two I realize,
that the sphere upon i reside,
is asleep on its feet.
Should I go back to sleep?
We orbit the sun,
I grow up.
My open eyes see...
A zombified, somnabulist society.
Whatever tomorrow brings i'll be there,
with open arms and open eyes, yea.
9. Describe how you love?:
Could you show me dear...something i've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting.
There's something about the way you move.
I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing.
More subtle than something, someone contrives.
Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing.
10. Share a few words of wisdom?:
If you let them make you,
they'll make you papier mache.
At a distance you're strong,
until the wind comes then you crumble and blow away.
If you let them fuck you,
there will be no foreplay.
But rest assured,
they'll screw you complete 'til your ass is blue and grey.
You should make amends with you.
If only for better health.
But if you really want to live,
why not try and Make Yourself?
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DayDream
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2002 22 July :: 2.14pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Dashboard
Which Angie are you?
quiz by acidflowers
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