i cant believe what you tell me.. your lies have come undone.. now im living on the run, looking out for number onee.. one day, you'll see me, but only when you're dreaming, onee day you'll say i was the one..
music video code by urbnmix.net

 

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YOU OFF YOUR FEET<|3

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brokenmentality

:: 2004 22 October :: 8.43pm

tonight i was supposed to see him.

nothing ever turns out.

not a single one of my friends would go with me.


whats that i said about a pathetic high schooler... there's a neon sign pointing at me isnt there.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 22 October :: 1.47pm

we talked till 1:30 last night.

his personality is just perfect....

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 21 October :: 11.12pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: juvinille - slow motion

i dont know..
why does everything have to be so difficult?

hmmmmm, i wanted to go over jims house this weekend so i asked my mom and she basicly said no. so we got into a fight about how i always have to watch my sisters. i haven't talked to her since last night. i locked my bedroom door so no one could get in.

blah blah blah. it all just goes in through one ear, and right out the other.

<3

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 21 October :: 1.39pm

im a moron. a pathetic lowly high schooler.... gah.

make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 20 October :: 5.31pm

CCK haha.. thats great.

crazy clingan clan.

its real..... *shakes head.






this is a DARN good caramel apple....

6 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 20 October :: 7.40am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: our lady peace - clumsy

"you will be safe with meeee.."
i love that song.

anyways, yesterday i went to this thing in upper st. clair. it's called People to People Student Ambassadors.. a group of kids get to go to another county for 20 days over the summer.. my mom and george think this is a great oppertunity for me, and that i should apply for a position to go. i don't know if i want to leave gabrielle.. 20 days is a long time. :( i guess you had to be nominated by a teacher/adult to get a letter from this program.. i wonder who nominated me? it's bugging me..

gabrielle kept me up til 2:00 last night, i think she's sick, or getting sick- but i hope not.. she woke up at 6:00, i fed her a bottle and she went right back to sleep. but i stayed up.. i'm not quite sure why. i'm going to be very tired later.. i'll probably take a nap or something, i don't know.

i guess my mom is staying home the whole day today.. she might actually make.. dinner!!!
..whoa, what's.. DINNER???
we usually eat a bowl of ceral or some toast.

ya know, breastfeeding is a lot harder than it sounds. i tried to breastfeed, but.. i don't know, i guess it's wierd to have to go to a different room just to feed gabrielle. i don't like that.. it's not the fact that it hurts a little bit, it's just that i don't like feeling that i'm making everyone feel wierd when i do it in the room. i don't know, it's hard to explain.. i don't really know what even made me think of it.

*sighs* i'm so weird sometimes.

11 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 20 October :: 1.29am
:: Mood: tired

my handwritting analysis.
Here is your analysis.

Jena exaggerates about everything that has a physical nature. Although she may not intend to deceive or mislead, she blows things way out of proportion because that is the way she views them. She will be a good story teller. This exaggeration relates to all areas of her material world. Jena allows many people into her life because she is accepting and trusting. She is sometimes called gullible by her friends. That only really means that she trusts too many people. Jena has a vivid imagination.
Jena has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
Something is incomplete in Jena's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Jena's sexual needs.


One way Jena punishes herself is self directed sarcasm. She is a very sarcastic person. Often this sarcasm and "sharp tongued" behavior is directed at herself.
Jena is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Jena basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach." She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
In reference to Jena's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Jena slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project. She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Jena can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Jena is not facing something going on in her life today. She is deceiving herself about it. Often, Jena's opinion of herself is different than those around her. This trait gives Jena the ability to deny anything that does not agree with her "truth." This trait is not always something negative. It is only a defense mechanism allowing Jena not to face some reality in her life at this time.

Jena is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes. Jena will be somewhat moody, with lows and highs. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Jena an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Jena is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Jena is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.
People that write very large tend to be very social and friendly. It seems Jena has this type of writing. This indicates a need for people and a particular natural ability to socialize and be the life of the party. Now, if Jena also has specific fears (like fear of criticism or fear of trust) then she will deny she is the life of the party, because fear has overcome her natural inclination to be social. People with large handwriting tend to be effective at anything that requires interaction with lots of people. she is a people person.
According to the inputted data, Jena has a stinger shape inside the oval of her a, d, or c. This might be hard to visualize, but if this little hooklike shape is present, then Jena has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available. However, if the stroke is severe, this means the individual has unresolved anger at the oppostive gender - which usually started with the person's childhood relationship with the opposite gender parent (Mom or Dad.) If the writer is a woman she will be attracted to strong challenging men. If the writer is a man, he will find the girl who is "hard to get" most attractive. In a nutshell, people with stingers in their writing tend to have challenges in their romantic relationships. For more information about this "stinger" trait, visit this webpage: http://www.myhandwriting.com/analyze/hlltrt5.html. Remember, it is only negative if the traits occurs often and is quite pronounced. An occasional stinger can be no problem.

hmmm.. that's all very true.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


Aaron

:: 2004 19 October :: 11.38pm
:: Mood: P-I-S-S-E-D O-F-F
:: Music: Please, NIN

A prison for my mind
It's official now. she hates me. She fucking hates me. Isn't that just peachy? I'm stuck in this god damn prison of a school, I'm restrained by my parents in every way, and what does she do? She turns her back on me. lovely. fucking lovely tori. I really appreciate it. I appreciate the way you call me a stalker. I appreciate the way you ditch me every chance you get. I appreciate the hateful hurtful things you say. Because they all bring me a little closer to breaking that promise I made a year and nine days ago, to myself, to you, to the whole fucking world. a promise to love you for ever. anyway, what's it matter? Because I sure don't. not to you. not to me. not to anyone. good riddance.

In loving memory,
Paul.

15 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 19 October :: 6.21pm

whats your name

milfred gonzalous.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 19 October :: 1.38pm

im so lazy. seriously.... seriously.

*alarm goes off 6:00
* i wash my face/brush my teeth
*sleep for another half an hour
*alarm goes off 6:35
*i wake up again, put sweatshirt on, come to school.

15 minutes MAYBE before i come to school. MAYBE.

gahhh.. im so sick. im all sniffy and such.
STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.

callllll meeeeee.

make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 19 October :: 1.08am
:: Mood: touched

i was sitting here earilier today flipping through the channels while gabrielle was sleeping, and i turned on Maternity Ward on TLC. there was a women in labor.. i remembered when i was in her place, sitting in the hospital getting an epidural. having gabrielle was the most wonderful experience of my whole life, and i know it will be for the rest of my life. i just hope that when you [the person that's reading my journal] have a child, you'll feel the same. it's amazing how much i love her. i never thought i could love anyone this much. and i mean it's a totally different kind of love from the way i love jim.. i don't know it's hard to explain. one day when you have kids, you'll think back and say "hey, that one chick said i'd feel something like this.. now i know what she means." *sighs* okay, i'll get off my soap box.

gabrielle just fell back asleep.. but i'm not really tired; so i thought i'd rant on here for a bit.

today i didn't do much, took care of the baby, jim and his mom stopped down for a bit and visited. kelly came over to, then we went over her house to get something to eat and watched sixteen candles. that movie is so cute. *smiles* ahhh..

anyways.. it was raining all day today, it was miserable. i think i'm getting a cold.

so sometimes i get bored and i go into chatrooms on aol. i don't talk, i don't really do anything except read the convos in the room [they make me laugh.. haha] but anyways, if someone IM's me; i'll talk. then as soon as i say something about me having a baby- they stop talking. now why is that? is it a scary thing to have a baby? do i scare people now? haha; it makes me laugh.. i just thought i'd share that with everyone.

hmmm.. i have to get a costume for saturday.. it's the costume party at the bar.. i'm waitressing. so i'm thinking of ideas.. help!

kelly, if you're reading this in school- leave me a note telling me what time your computer class is so i can get online to talk to you!

well, i'm off to bed.. gonna try to get some sleep before i have to get up with gabrielle.

<3

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 18 October :: 9.32pm

stop being sick damn it.

make conversation


yadiffy04

:: 2004 18 October :: 9.13pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Ramble On- Led Zeppelin

Hey guys,

Well, Grace and I broke up, and if you want the story on that, email me. I called it too, just look back 2 or 3 entrys. Uummmm...Im not to upset about it, I mean, whats done is done, and we have to se whats going to happen. My bro backhanded me yesterday, so he might have some payback coming, cause paybacks a bitch, and so am I......I love that. Aubrey is coming over on Wednesday, cant wait for that. Um, my band has a website, its open, but its under construction, check it out. www.freewebs.com/manualoverride

thats my band^^^^^^^^^^

She said she wanted me to leave, but Im gonna do more than that, Im gonna leave, and never come back, so, I hope you have a nice rest of you life. And I hope your successful, but thats all, I dont care about anything else. I also hope that your friend gets her nose out of were it doesnt belong, cause one day shell be walking down an alley with a stranger, and slip up with something she wasnt supposed to say, cause it wasnt any of her business, and shes gonna be skrewed, cause noone will help her, cause she backstabbed them all. you know who you are, you yelled and screamed at me, but all you did was light the fuse in me, and now, the fuse is getting shorter, and who knows when im gonna blow.

Stevo

11 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 18 October :: 12.57pm

ok doll, im just gonna hope that that all wasnt about me. i've been so busy lately and you know that because i told you. im not a liar and if you think that... sorry. i cant please everyone. but i think you're a sweetheart and you just need to relax a little. *hugs you.



i went to church last night, and i ACTUALLY got into basketball.. AND it was fun. heh heh.


talked to tom last night.... he's just so cool.
*laughs. im such a nerd.


FYI the new used cd is awesome... BUY it, dont burn it. its THAT good. ohh yeah.

ok.... errrmmmm.... right.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 17 October :: 5.22pm

last night was so much fun.

alyssa is awesome, and seriously one of my best friends in the world.

becky was hoochalicious and i loved it.

brandi was so freaking adorable that i could have eaten her.

stacy's shoes gave me mini's... heh heh.

everything was just so perfect.....

and my date was incredible. he's just so nice. and my friends like him... THAT makes him even better. im really optimistic about this... i feel like i've known him for a lot longer then just a week! lol. this was the third time i've seen him, and im so comfortable with him. i think it helps that he's graduated, i wont have to see him every day.. its not a typical high school relationship. im done with those... i cant wait to get to know him even better and see where this goes. *smiles.



we went to TGI Fridays with like 16 people... mmm chicken fingers. our whole table got them. *laughs.


after the dance me, tom and alyssa went to Gordys house for awhile. Gordy's a pretty cool guy.. i met him last year at prom. kent city people are so much fun.

ok, well i think im gonna go play volleyball.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 17 October :: 1.25pm
:: Mood: cold.. i don't think that's a mood, but oh well.
:: Music: the river runs through it [a good movie]

i'm so cold, my fingers hurt. *turns up the heat*

we went to the doctors on friday for gabrielle. she now weighs 9 pounds, 13 ounces.. she gained a pound and 2 ounces in a week and a half.. goodness! but everything else is okay, she's a healthy little girl!

i went to the mall friday night and bought her the cutest outfit from the gap.. [i spent all my money, because they're so expensive there..] but it was worth it, because it is so cute.

today i think jim is coming to get me and the baby around 5-6, then we're going to get a crib for jims house out his dads. we'll see.

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


yadiffy04

:: 2004 17 October :: 12.45am
:: Mood: special

Babe Im Gonna Leave You-Led Zepplin
Hey,
this didnt work last time, so lets try again, and get to 1000. PLEASE!!

Give me 1000 comments in this entry. Or whatever, really. YOU, in particular, don't have to supply the whole 1000, but a tiny contribution would be nice. Then post this in your journal and I'll return the favor.

So this is your chance to spam me with anything! Pictures, lyrics, the word spam over and over. Feel free to tell me something about yourself, or screen your comments. Do whatever you want! It's all up to you.

Okay, so I realize 1000 is a big number so,...just spam away and we'll see what happens. Please entertain me!


l8r,

Stevo

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

25 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


yadiffy04

:: 2004 16 October :: 6.04pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: Bring it on home- Led Zepplin

Hey all,

Well, nm has gone on over the update break, so, umm...Im feeling really insecure about Grace, I think she wants to break up with me, but I hope not. Last time I thought this I was right, so Im really worried about that. nm to say, I cant wright in my notebook anymore, cause my mom has been reading it, so thats not cool at all. Ill update when something else comes up, moms kicking me off the comp. l8r,

Stevo

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

P.S. Comment, and give me hugs!!! Thanx chrissy.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 15 October :: 8.51am

class color day, biggest spirit day of the year, and where am i? home.

i've had this stupid stupid cough for a week now, and when i got home last night i couldnt even go 5 seconds without almost dying.... gahhh. so i have to go to the doctors today.. THEN i'll be at school.. and am i ever white.. yes i am.

we got a bunny last night. hmm.. that'll be interesting. but he's cute.. and he likes to snuggle... awww. my sister named him daisy.
him daisy. silly little girl. im gonna call him snuggle buns. i love bunnies..

im so excited about homecomming now.. which is good, considering last years homecomming. alyssa and tom are comming and we're all going in a monsterous group.

he's such a nice guy. im gonna be cautious... but he's just so.... ______ (adjective here). he's got beckys approval. heh. thats all that matters! the best friend stamp always works in your bennefit.

well... *yawns* i guess i should get stuff around for today. i hope it stops raining for the game.

anyways.... bye dolls.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 14 October :: 10.23pm
:: Mood: grumpy

so, jim the baby and i were supposed to go to the mall, but since jims car is broke.. he had to find a ride to meet his probation officer.. and he couldn't get a ride back, so we didn't go. my mom, the baby and i went. i bought myself some new clothes. :) i looked to buy gabby some things, but i didn't see anything that i liked. so after that we ran to wal*mart, then we went home.

*yawn*

make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 14 October :: 10.19am

i got the new used cd and the meatloaf cd.. heh heh....

what? i like that band?

make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 14 October :: 6.21am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: jim talking in his sleep.

yeah, i'm tired.. this is the 2nd time tonight i've been up. *yawn* but anyways, gabrielle just fell asleep. i just got done feeding her her bottle. i layed her on my bed right next to me- i'm scared she'll wake up if i move her into her bed. earlier tonight when i was burping her i went and sat on my couch and i fell asleep with her on my shoulder for an hour and a half.. haha. uh-oh, she woke up.

i better go before she starts crying.. update more later, lots to tell about yesterday.

[EDIT 6:35]

okay, i'm back. well lets see. yesterday was pretty boring after jim left.. i just waited for him to get back over here. i gave up on him coming over around 7:00, and took a nap because i had a migrane. thank goodness the baby was sleeping. i woke up about 5 minutes later to my cell phone ringing and it was jim. i was grouchy and we hung up. then the next thing i knew he was over here. *sigh* i love him.

well me, being the pig that i am was hungry for pizza so i called up the mingo twist n shake at 8:47 to order something (they close at 9:00!) but noooooo.. it was "too late" wtf? i was so pissed off. so jim made me order something from kuzins. [and of course i got a large chicken ranch pizza.] so he left to get it, and i went up my aunt loraines. thank god i gave him my cell phone to take with him.. because his car broke down. *sigh* sooo- my uncle don, donnie, jeff and myself went to pick him up. when we got back matt and jim went to get it towed [thanks a lot matt!!] so today hopefully matt can get off work to help with the car. so here i am now, bored, tired, and not able to sleep.

today, jim has to run to cokeburg to get his paycheck, get that cashed, come back here to look at his car [or maybe do that the other way around.] then go get the parts to fix it.. and then we're [jim, gabrielle and i] are going to the mall. awww.. i can't wait!

okay, well i'm gonna go brush my teeth then get something to eat.. *yawn* then if gabrielle doesn't wake up, i'll get some more sleep.

leave some comments, [even if you don't have a journal!!] i get bored!

[/EDIT 6:45]

<3<3

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 14 October :: 6.12am

i saw tom last night, he's such a nice guy. im excited about this weekend. woohu.

brandi and i went shopping, got everything we needed, homecomming is gonna be so bomb this year. and im not sure why i just said bomb......... *shrugs

4 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


Aaron

:: 2004 13 October :: 4.09pm
:: Music: Parabol, Tool

Chain mail
I was reading this chain mail (they amuse me) and I got to the part where it said Reasons guys like girls, and I started to bawl. Hell, I'm still bawling! Okay, here it is.


WELL here's a few reasons why guys like girls...
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. the ease in which they fit into our arms
5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
8. because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
9. the way they look good no matter what they wear
10. the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. the way her hand always finds yours
13. the way they smile
14. the way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later you will be arguing about something
16. the way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'
18. Actually ... ! ! ju! ! st the way they kiss you...
19. the way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don't admit it)!
23. the way they say "I miss you"
24. the way you miss them
25. the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound,you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

14 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 13 October :: 1.50pm

i think i might re-do my journal again..
yes, i have no life- even with a baby.

my inspiration is..

this green dot.


on another note.. seven springs was okay, i had some fun, strolled gabrielle around the hotel. everyone was like "awwww" i was thinking to myself "stfu, leave us alone.." haha. anyways, we got home around 5:30 yesterday. i took a 4 hour nap and my mom watched gabrielle.. i felt like i got the shit beat out of me. i was so tired and weak. it was a long day. i woke up at 6:30, and then we walked all day til 4. meanwhile i was in pain because i'm still not completely healed from labor.. blah. i was a mess yesterday.

but i feel better now.

jim stopped down for his lunch break. :) that made me happy. he's gonna come back after he gets off work at 5 or 6.

*yawns* time to give gabrielle her bottle.

<3 you all.

2 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 12 October :: 11.37pm

yes, i fit into my jeans from BEFORE i was pregnant.

3 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 11 October :: 10.09am

i got everything i need for homecomming.. woooohoot!

make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 10 October :: 12.42pm

last night i went to kent citys homecomming... i had more fun then i have at any other dance. their school is so fun.. AND i got a date for our homecomming... *smiles.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


xxinterrupted

:: 2004 9 October :: 3.48pm
:: Mood: calm

a picture of gabrielle.. and other things.


a picture of gabrielle
1 day old


i have a whole bunch of other pictures on my digital camera, but i bent the cord that connects the camera to the computer to upload them onto it.. so for now, that's the only one i have. :(

i haven't updated in a long time, or noted anyone- sorry for that! i've been recoperating from delivery, and most of the time i'm just to tired to sit on the computer. but i'm feeling a lot better now.

i've just been at home for the past week.. i can't believe gabrielle is already 8 days old! it's gone by so fast. she's such a good baby- she hardly cries.. and only wakes up 2-3 times a night. *knocks on wood* i don't want that to change! lol

i'm just sitting here waiting for jims mom to get back to pick me up. she came out here about 20 minutes ago to get gabrielle and myself- but jim told me she wasnt' coming until 5:30-6:00, and my mom has the car seat in her car. so she ran out to buy a car seat. she should be back here soon. we're going to a picnic. jim will be there around 5:30-6:00.

*yawn* i gotta finish getting things ready to go for gabrielle, i'll update more later!

<3 <3

5 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation


brokenmentality

:: 2004 7 October :: 9.14pm

what a rotten day, and what a rotten way to end it.

1 you constantly make it impossible to | make conversation

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