Because of you..

:: 2005 29 December :: 4.39pm

so how bout that jessica hazen

what a doll huh?!!?!?!?!? i love her!

:: 2005 29 December :: 4.19pm

I feel so incredible. I feel so relieved!

HALLELUJIA !!! or however you spell that. Thank God, maybe I was wrong. You're right. Aren't you always though?

i feel so good. i couldn't sleep at ALL last night because i was worrying about my future. I hadn't let it bug me that much in a long time and now this solution is at my fingertips. I think i'm really going to go for it. I know some of it might sound like a long shot.... but i reallky think it will work. On top of that, i think it will be a good experience for me. It will. God, i am so happy.

i finally have decided where i'm going to go and what i'm going to do.

now just cross your fingers for me that it all works out.

God Bless You

:: 2005 29 December :: 3.47pm

I'm confident I can download just about anything.. so if you need anything along the lines of:

books
programs
games
movies
music
h0tpr0n
etc etc

let me know

jennapie

:: 2005 29 December :: 12.56am

well! WHOOO! I'm excited! yesssssssss! I can hardly wait!

:: 2005 27 December :: 10.49pm

i was loooking at these pictures from last year and i was just even more fully convinced about how i gained weight. i mean, i know i did. a scale doesn't lie right... but oh my gawd. i'm hidious how the hell do you spell that

i swear if i'm away from roman all i feel is fat and ugly

and well other than that..
i wanna go barf.

tootaloo

wait no, i must add more. I know some of you self centered biatches just read that post and were like "score. one more hoe out of the way" or something liek that... i think there are some PEOPLE who get kicks out of when their friends get big ol zits on the ends of their nose or gain 10 pounds for example. .... or wear an ugly shirt.... or have a bad hair day. there are some PEOPLE who just enjoy the fact that they know they look better than their "friend" on that particular day.
it's a constant obscene and fucked up battle for some PEOPLE.

wow.

some people huh?

I hope at least one person understands that. maybe even the person it is semi-directed to out of pure angst and a little bit of self-pity.

6 love me | do you love me?

:: 2005 27 December :: 7.43pm

:: 2005 26 December :: 11.31pm

okay. so here it is plain and simple. I'm not feeling very well. And would you like to know something? You're not making me feel any better. would you like to know something more?

I obviously am a big complaining bitch. Obligations and responsibilities I know, but wah wah wah I want to be first and I'm a big fat bitch.

I am sad and yeah I pretty much totally would like to cry now. I feel just forgotten. And I'll never understand why it's so easy for you.

and why it's so extremely difficult for me..........

:: 2005 26 December :: 11.29pm

maybe i'm just not good enough. until later

:: 2005 26 December :: 8.34pm

CoD2 on expert mode is super duper... can't take 20 hits from the MG42's anymore but hey oh well.

oh and quake 4 > (doom 3 x 1,000)

jennapie

:: 2005 25 December :: 10.44pm

My Christmas was......awesome!!! I got a bunch of wonderful things and talked to and seen a lot of wonderful people!! Jake even called me all the way from Florida!! I miss you and you need to come home in lightening fast speed! and I just got home from my grandmas where we ate food, and sang songs and laughed...a lot.. and played some games, they learned how to play Mafia!! ahah, my grandma and aunts should never play games with too many things going on at once, but I guess they made it a lot more entertaining to say the least!! ahah! Well, now my sister's are going to spend the night at my Aunt Becky's and I would be going to but I don't feel good. I'll be alright tho! Don't worry!!! ahah! I love you all!!!! night!

:: 2005 25 December :: 7.05pm

((10-1))
TEN FIRSTS
First Best Friend: my first and my last! Jessica Lynn SlutMchazen
First Screen Name: jessalyn62
First Pet: Rhea dog ollie and cat bea
First Piercing: ears in 1st grade
First Crush: nick wiebenga like kindergarten
First CD: googoo dolls
First Word: fuck lol no just kidding. i sasked my mom and she doesn 't even remember. wow what love.
First Real Love: Although i thought it was Kevin ;0) lol . it was definetely roman.
First Stuffed Animal: i duno. a lamb thing

NINE LASTS
Last Alcoholic Beverage: The Cap'n .... lol i am so gay
Car Ride: Back from a movie just now
Last Movie Seen: the family stone.... weird. and GAWD sarah jessica parker is ugly and has an annoying name.
Last Phone Call: jess/kevin
Last CD Played: a mix of kanye and michael buble and my humps remix and shit
Last Bubble Bath: too long ago. maybe i'll take one tonight
Last Time You Cried: kind of last night but only for like a minute. other than that it would be thursday

EIGHT 'HAVE YOU EVER...'S
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: well, besides Jess... it would be that roman became my best friend after we're together. other than that no i guess
Have you ever been arrested: No thank god
Have you ever skinny dipped: no
Have you ever been on TV: um kinda
Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it: yeah lol sickoooo
Have you ever cheated: no
Have you ever spent more than 5 hours online: Probably
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep: Yup. unfortuantely

SEVEN THINGS YOU'RE WEARING
1. ferris shirt from roman yay
2. pannnnties
3. Jeans
4. bra
5. that's it! oh makeup
6. ring
7. Earring in cartilage

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. slept like forever
2. been bored on effing christmas
3. Been online
4. missed roman
5. talked to jess
6. absolutely nothing on christmas :0(

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. roman
2. jessie hazen
3. sleeping
4. being in love
5. being careless or worryless

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL [ALMOST] ANYTHING TO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. roman
2. jess
3. stef
4. justin i guess

THREE THINGS YOU HOPE TO HAVE IN THE FUTURE
1. marriage
2. a career as a successful nurse
3. babies!

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. lose these nasty ass thighs.
2. travel everywhere with roman. everywhere! lol.

ONE SECRET
1. I am a messed up motha

3 love me | do you love me?

:: 2005 25 December :: 12.53pm

absolute shitness. it is christmas and we are just sitting here. i slept in till eleven... found out my sister's getting married (yay stef and paul make lots of cute babies) and went to the bathroom.... then i talked to stef then i put some makeup on then i talked to jess

and thus has been my christmas. i am so sad and i will never go on vacation ever again during christmas because at least i will have some control. i can't believe my parents actualy made us come down here. but oh well thats how our fam... wait.... famil...no fa..fa... group of people who live together works i guess.

fuck the po lice

and call my cell phone because i am bored and have nothing to do at all whatsoever. cry cry cry is all i want to do.

i love my babbbbby roman and i hate brandon

fuck htis

i cant wait for the day i have a real family and a real christmas. this will happen in less than 10 years. hoorah.

:: 2005 25 December :: 3.26am

quake 4 @ 250 kbs is definately a good way to start christmas.

Paradox

:: 2005 24 December :: 12.46pm

Ahhh... last night was a reminder of why we're so great together...

Hope everyone has a safe and merry christmas. I know that I will...