cradleofilth
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2004 25 May :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: "picture"-KId rock and sheryl crow
2nd update today! W00t!
well im sittin here talking to kaley, and im thinking....im thinking about my friends....they're like the greatest people in the world...they're always soo nice to me and are loving...next year im gonna miss them more than the world...i've came so far in middle school...i was an outcast in 6th grade, i was hated by everyone...and now everyones so nice to me and accepts me...what did i do to deserve such kindness?
what did i do that made people respect me?
have i really became a better person?
*sigh* well i better get of of this topic before i go too far into this whole self anilization thing...
im gonna be off to bed now...goodnite everyone, and dearest journal
aurevior,
~Joe
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cradleofilth
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2004 25 May :: 7.55pm
hehe
i got bored and found some funny things on colorguard ^^
COLORGUARD HIT POINT SYSTEM
Other Guard Member = 0
Flute = 10
Clarinet = 10
Saxophone = 15
Trumpet = 20
Trombone = 25
Baritone = 35
Sousaphone = 50
Drumline = 55
Drum Major = 65
Band Director = 75
Guard Instructor = 100
^~~~~im gonna go for 100 points ^^ hehe
COLORGUARD MEANS:
~Having red hands, and sore wrists.
~Hours of work with no stopping.
~Practicing outdoors in every weather condition.
~Spending all your free time with a flag, saber or rifle and loving it.
~Working harder than you ever have before.
~Forming a bond with people that will never end.
~Thinking about nothing else but colorguard for months.
~Your family thinking you are crazy because, you practice jazz running at all times.
~Getting the unimaginable feeling that surges through you when you win.
~Getting that horrible feeling when you don't
~Nothing else matters!!!
You've OBVIOUSLY been in colorguard if:
1.You walk on step to all music you hear.
2.You spin pencils/pens/mops/brooms/pool cues, etc.
3.You have a drawer full of flag t-shirts.
4.You're constantly involved in fund raisers (wanna buy a candy bar?)
5.The term attitude has lost all meaning.
6.You know where every high school in your circuit is located.
7.You are an expert at assembling backdrops.
8.When you hear a song you've done a routine to you get estatic.
9.You've done more push-ups in a week than an Army recruit in basic training.
10.You've seen 4:30 in the morning many times.
11.Seperate checks in a restaurant are the best thing to ever happen to you.
12.You're lucky if your instructor gets your name right.
13.You're considered lucky if your instructer noticed your haircut.
14.You know how to wrap your own bandages.
15.You have a flag calus on your right palm under your small finger.
16.You have a permanent rifle bruise on your left and right thumbs.
17.You have more inside jokes than any of your other friends.
18.You can smile genuinly on command.
19.Your priorities are slightly askew.
20.You have an excuse for everything.
21.You can catch anything thrown at you.
22.You find yourself telling your friends to do push ups for chewing gum.
23.You find yourself telling your friends to do push ups for swearing.
24.Every song becomes a possible flag routine.
25.You know the perfect spot for a toss in your favorite songs.
26.Finals are a positive thing.
27.Your calluses are less stressful than practice.
28.You know that "one more time" never means one more time.
29.You can do your hair and make-up anywhere.
30.You can change into your uniform anywhere.
31.Someone who can throw a piece of wood 40ft in the air and catch it becomes your hero.
32.You find yourself designing flags/uniforms/drill in your classes.
33.You've missed more 4th periods than you've been to.
34.You can change, go to the bathroom, and go to your locker in 4.5 min.
35.You laugh like everyone else on your guard.
36.You use two hands to tell your left from your right.
37.You count all music to beats of 6 or 8.
38.You constantly watch t.v. dance shows for a good new move.
39.Watching a 1/2 time show has become more then a leisure activity.
40.Leaving your seat at 1/2 time would be considered a sin.
41.You know how many people can be crammed into a minivan,
42.Lycra-spandex has become a permanent part of your closet.
43.You have never taken a dance class but you know more terms than in the foreign language you took.
44.The soles of your shoes have holes in them from doing to many turns.
45.You've left your house wearing things you swore you never would like curlers, spandex, 2 tons of makeup,etc.
46.You've been in a wrestler room when there were no wrestlers.
47.You've been in a guys locker room when there were no guys in it.
48.Getting a sip of water is considered an act of love and kindness from your instructor.
49.You find yourself critqueing every parade you see.
50.Caravans are run like well oiled machinery.
51.You will not consider anything over $5 dinner while at a competition.
52.The bandroom becomes your home away from home.
53.You become your own pharmacist.
54.Anyone who carries fem. products becomes your best friend.
55.You know how many teenage girls you can fit in a hotel room.
56.You know how to manage 9 girls and 1 bathroom.
57.You wish they offered time/money/stress management in school.
58.You wish they offered nap time in school.
59.The term battle of the sexes has been turned into battle of the bands/guards.
60.You can mock all other bands/guards quite well.
61. 4 1/2 hours of sleep before a competition is considered lucky.
62.You know what jell-o arms and legs feel like.
63.You've considered dating a band/percussion member or have dated one.
64.Your parents know of more h.s. now than when they wer in h.s.
65.Asking your parents for money has reached the extreme.
66.Having your show finished the day before your first competiton/performance is considered lucky.
67.You know nothing is ever definite.
68.There's no such thing as a "summer vacation".
69.The smell of sun screen makes you think of band camp.
70.Getting 2 new uniforms a year is a rarity.
71.You're the last people to hear about the pep rally and the first the perform at them.
72.Coming home before 4:30pm on a weekday almost never happens.
73.You've spent more money on flags than you have on your college education.
74.You've never worked so hard for a chunk of plastic with some metal on it (trophey).
75.You never could teach your dog to fetch cause everything you throw you have to catch yourself.
76.No matter how good your guard is you still get the smallest coverage in the yearbook.
77.The keds sales lady knows you personly.
78.The school nurse knows you and your parents by name.
79.You know what a fulcrum is.
80.Your guard has developed its own language.
81.You know that if you try something wierd it might just end up in your show.
82.Your school locker is an uncharted area to you.
83.The term democracy is not in your vocabulary.
84.You try more stunts than the cheerleaders.
85.You learn to love your instructer when you see other guards shows and uniforms.
86.You went to every school football game but never paid for one.
87.Your nails have never extended beyond your finger tips.
88.You know what's significant about June 14th (if not look at your calender).
89.You know wheather you've passed your limit or not.
90.You know how to bend any rule.
91.You've never actually watched a football game.
92.You can get any teacher to sympathize w/you and let you off for that missing assignment.
93.You say guard halt when you want your friends to stop.
94.You have had more pics taken of you than any of your friends.
95.Your personl best is 60 push ups in one day.
96.You can arm wrestle any band/ and win.
97.You have electrical tape in your back pack.
98.You have a screwdriver in your back pack.
99.You have hit yourself in the head w/a flag/rifle/sabre more times than you would like to think about or can think about!
100.Your friends have had to sedate you for using a measuring stick and/or musical insturment bow to practice sabre blade tosses.
101.You walk in step with everyone!!
102.You can talk about practically anything at practice and competitons no matter who's around.
103.When you hear "learn this" while you picking up your stuff.
104.You march to the back ground music in the mall.
105.You jazz walk/run at home, school, mall, etc..
106. You do split leaps down every hall you come to.
107.Every time you find a bruise/scrape on yourself, you automatically know you got it at a guard rehearsal.
108.You've used up all the white out covering up the marks on the ceiling/wall from the rifle you WEREN'T spinnning in the house...and need more.
109.You cheer louder than the cheerleaders at football games.
110.When you are together so much (because of practice or just getting together) that you all get your period at the same time!
111. When your instructor feels he has enough on the job training to look for a 2nd job as a hairstylist/makeup artist to supplement his income during the summer
112.When all your "outside the guard" friends roll their eyes and whisper "not again," as you talk about how cool your show is, and how you manage to "nail" your tosses everytime.
113.When you can drop spin and carry on a conversation, and jazz step all at the same time, without even thinking about it.
114.When you point your toes in your sleep.
115.When you get teary eyed when you have to put your saber down so you can eat dinner.
116. When Colorguard is practically all you talk about!
117.When your colorguard friends are all you talk to.
118. When you spend 10-15 hours of your day practicing on spinning!
119.When you spend all your free time looking at band related websites.
120. When you look at the websites of other bands in your area just to get the inside info on their show.
121. Your out of guard friends have heard so much about guard, they are almost pros at it!
122. when you''ve left more bruises on band members (especially the drumline!) than on yourself, and are proud of it!
123.Your friends notice bruises on you and you didn't even know that they were there!
124. When it becomes a game to see how many patches and buttons fit on a letter jacket
125. When you don't own any socks that don't have holes in them
126. When the only age that matters is 22
127. When you have one giant brown grass spot in the backyard from practicing so much
128. When stadium nachos and hot dogs are a delicacy
129. When not wearing underwear for fear of pantylines is a constant thing
130. When you have 4 tan lines-tee shirt, gloves, shorts, and socks
131. When the words 'one more time' really means 15 more
132. When gatorade, cheeseballs, and fruit loops is the breakfast of champions
133. When you fold the floor more times than your laundry
134. When the gym/football feild is your second home
135. When styrofoam flats are your favorite hiding place
136. When spaceburgers make sense
137. When you can see yourself trying to make your make-up darker
138. When nike blush checks are a fashion statement
139. When your speed dial consists of your captain, director, and show writer
140. When you forget how to count above 8
141. You make up routines in your head to songs on the radio
142. When you have 6 different uniforms in your closet
143. When you try and guess the height of the guard by the size of the pole
144. When you have a roll of electrical tape next to your bed
145. When school nachos actually taste good
146. When you have 10 silks folded in your garage
147. When the blisters on your blisters don't hurt anymore
148. When you look for flags in commercials that show bands (in The Fugative, during the parade, they show a guard. i swear!!!)
149. When you own a copy of every show you've ever done
150. When band music actually begins to sound good
151. When you refuse to date outside the band
152. Life? what's that?
153. When you always step off on the left foot
154. When you see the guard more than your family
155. You have 2 rifles and sabres-one for practice and one for performance
156. When you name your equipment
157. When the only song you have stuck in your head is your marching show from 2 yrs ago
158. When you glide step in the mall
159. When you begin to look good in show make-up
160. When your senior ring lives on your necklace
161. When you break a bone and still insist that you can march (even if on crutches)
162. When you still spend the same amount of time w/ your band-after you graduate
163. You only go to football games to see the halftime shows
164. you find yourself switching feet to get back on-step while walking through the mall
165.When you name all your bruises.
166. When getting dressed up to go to school means wearing what you'll have wear to practice that night.
167. When riding in sections to a football game is the biggest dilemma of the day.
168. When you catch yourself spinning your pencil in Algebra class.
169. When all your teachers and classmates have seen your guard videos at least twice.
170. When your classmates roll their eyes at you for talking about the band, yet again.
171. When everyone knows that you are in guard by the t-shirts you wear.
172. When you show up for everything at least 15 minutes early(even parties).
173. When you wake up in the morning and put your dot book or drill charts on not thinking.
174. When you wear your hair slicked back every where you go.
175. When the people at Home Depot know you by name.
176. When vending machine food becomes gormet.
177. you have had the words "left! right! left! right!" repeatedly screamed at you and you are not in the army
178. You permanently project to the press box wheather that meant the top of the six foot tall basketball player in front of you's head or the top of the doorway
179. You toss your flag even when they're 50 m.p.h. winds
180. When you choose a college for the colorguard and winterguard directors and programs
181. you have hit yourself in the head so many times, not only can you not count, it doesn't even hurt any more
182.when the local Denny's is you second home, but only because you spend more time at school
183.When you always have to walk in step, even if they aren't in colorguard
184.When you go to see other school's football games just to see their colorguard, and who you're up against.
185.When you in your loud english class your teacher yells, "Attention" and you look forward and sit up straight and don't make eye contact with anyone.
186.You love rainy days, because it gives you a chance to spin (your umbrella) in school (And show off too!)
187.Your unguard friends know that you're almost never available to go out
188.You jump up and down when you hear a song that a guard once did
189.Guard tape is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread
190.Guard tape fixes everything
191.When the "can i have 5 extra mins" turns into a midnight practice
192.When you find yourself dancing everywhere
193.When there is more holes in the school hall way where you practice then Swiss cheese
194.When you have more gay friends then straight
195.When getting new members is the most exciting thing that happened to you
196.When you have seen the same WGI or DCI tape a thousand times and still enjoy it
197.When you pick out thing in the same tapes
198.You listen to the judges tapes more then the radio
199.When you don't think anything of bare feet in the snow
200.When the only jacket you own has the name of your guard on it
201.When you practice more then the band that can only play the star spangled banner
202.When you look forward to getting new gloves
203.When you love the black stain from the new gloves
204.When you are told this is so hard you really walk 5 steps
205.When stretches are your favorite part of the day
206.When you have a song for everything that has happened
207.You know how to sleep with the your music on 10 and the bus going 60mph
208.You take over guys bathrooms b/c the girls is too full
209.Changing in front of guys doesn't phase you anymore
210.You have see more skin from the same sex then the opposite
211.You can talk about "your body" with easy
212.When it all seem to be a soap opera with ups and downs
213.When you work at a bingo hall
214.When you miss some one you saw 5 mins ago
215.You see the same people all day everyday
216.The closest group you have every been in
217.When you spend more time with the guard then your own family
218.When you have practice 5 days a week and enjoy every second
219.You know all of your friends by their last names or a name that is completely awkward to others and they wouldn't be caught dead calling anyone that...
220. You have been in a guys locker room when there WERE guys in it!
221.. Your friends have heard about your routine so much that they can probably get out on the field and do your routine with you!
222. You have dated every guy in the band, and are starting to wonder what life would be like if there wasn't marching band!
223. You have become so accustomed to waking up at 5 am that you do it when you don't have to. (Saturdays, Sundays, days w/ no school or marching practice.)
224. You can march your show in your sleep
225.You say the pledge of alligience to YOUR flag
226. Seeing how fast you can fold the floor becomes your primary form of entertainment
227.You find it easier to fall asleep in a van along with seven other girls than in your own bed
228.While your non-guard friend sleep with tedy bears and other various stuffed animals, you sleep with your flag, rifle, and/or sabre
229.If your room is covered with good luck signs.
230.If you have gotten a black eye from doing a toss!
231.If you catch your self doing air flag while walking down the hallway or while you are sleeping!
232.If you think you will die when the season is over.
233.When you are doing a horizontal toss and you know that it won't make it too far and it smacks you in the face.
234.You own more stretch pants and tank tops then you do regular clothes.
235.When you make a website dedicated to guard.
236.When you have prayed all season for a break before the next season, be it colorguard or winterguard, then you spend the whole thing crying, cause your muscles aren't used to resting for that long.
237.When your boyfriend has been to as many practices and games as you have!
238.When you like wearing your uniform.
239.When people ask you about your social life and you say "Oh, you mean my flag.
240.When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
241.When you can show up to practice in your pajamas and dripping wet and no one notices.
242.When jazz running no longer reminds you of ballet.
243.When "armed guard" means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
244.When you see your section more than your family.
245.When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
246.When numbers past 8 aren't important.
247.When you'd rather practice than read the list.
248. You have more bruises, scars, and injuries than a military solider
249. Your teacher makes you write on the board, "I will not spin in class" fifty times.
250. You find yourself watching your spring show routine from freshman year thinking was I ever that bad?
251. Automatically you know what the captain is going to say and you do it before anyone else (most of the time)
252. Weekends are forever lost to practice
253. When you ask "What is summer vacation?"
254. When you stand at parade attention to say the pledge to the flag at school
255. When you can do drop-spins at any tempo with ANYTHING (penciles, forks, brooms, air)
256. When you actually like to watch the Thankgiving day parade for the bands, not those stupid balloons
257. When you can do splits in gurdles
258. When you are rivles with all the chearleaders
259. The funny smell in the guard room in no longer noticeable to you
260. The only nail polish you wear in the winter is clear or none at all
261. When there is a possiblity it will snow, and your competition will be cancelled, you pray that it won't snow
262. When you spend all your money at competitions on guard shirts, boxers, etc. instead of food
263. You can mimick all the annoucers in your circuit
264. Have a dresser dedicated to guard unitards socks pantyhouse and silks
265. You go to the mall to try to find something new to make your rifle colorful
266. The Home Depot (Hardware store) is you favorite place to shop.
267. All your screen names have something to do with Color Guard.
268. You've eaten out more then anyone you know.
269. You anylize every song you hear for Winter Gaurd Standards.
270. You always have to find the perfect winterguard song, and you go crazy when you finally find one.
271. Your boyfriend owns more Color Guard shirts then the store that sells them.
272. You own every cd that contains a song used at a Winter Guard show.
273. Your non-guard friends think you're crazy becuase you've always got songs that they've never heard of stuck in your head.
274. Your Boyfriend has a copy of your schedule hanging in his room.
275. You've used the word "FRESHMAN!" more then a billion times.
276. Your guard instructor invites you to preform at her wedding.
277. You critique migrating geese on how straight their diagonals are!
278. You mark time in the shower(or whenever standing still.
279. You hear "this isn't K-mart we don't like/want 'sails'" more than once a week.
280.The phrase water break has a whole new meaning.
281. You are the only one to have a screwdriver handy during any season.
282. You find many new uses for a sabre
283. Your best friend becomes a six foot pole and three foot silk
284. Your phrase becomes this isn't we don't like sales
285. You spend your lunch period trying to break into the guard room just so you can spin your equiptment
286. Getting locked in the band's coat box is an honor
287. Being friends w/ anyone outside of the band just seems unnormal
288. You listen to your guard tapes as you fall asleep
289. Your family knows your entire show, inside and out
290. You get a shock from leaving the band room b/c the air is so CLEAN
291. You arrive at the school on the days you have practice so early that the school isn't even open
292. When your instructor says rehearsal is at six, you are there by five thirty or you are LATE
293.When you meet your friends places you are always half an hour early
294.. When you have no problem at all telling one of the members of your guard that they smell and they are not offended
295. When pit stains are cool
296. When your little sister plays with, touches, or even LOOKS at your weapon, you jump on her like a lion on a mouse
297. You've got a certain section of your wardrobe labeled "Guard Clothes" that you'd never be caught dead in anywhere but practice.
298. You go into Home Depot and ask for flag tape.
299. Electrical tape is used for everything (ie. labeling cabinets, putting up posters, fixing your flag bag, etc.)
300. A tornado, earthquake, fire, or flood hits and you don't even THINK of running until your instructor says you may.
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linkedfantasy
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2004 25 May :: 11.54am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: ....back draft of the computers
Updating in computers. . .
I feel accomplished. . . . .i guess. I jsut finished my computer finals. 93%!!
Other than that....I'm kinda worried. That whole Billy+Jessica Dasher thing. I'm getting lunch and coming abck to the class since it's a half day but I;m worried that shit might start because the lunch schedules are mixed up, resulting in two or three teams getting lunch at once. :-/ With my luck, we'll probably have to get lunch with admirals which is the team they're both on.
day of my death
-Robert
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cradleofilth
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2004 24 May :: 9.51pm
piccies form school!
i took some piccie from school ^^ have a lookie!
left: tara, right: nicole
left to right: krista, lauren, ashley
left to right: cameron, kaley
left to right: alexa, kalyanee, tabitha
left to right:
kaley, cameron, tara,j.j, devon, ryan
left to right: tila, melissa
i have a few more..but i dotn wanna post em right now
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linkedfantasy
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2004 24 May :: 8.56am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Simple Plan: I'm just a kid
If I were to die and be reincarnated as something....how I would love nothing more than to come back as your tear. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes and die on your lips....
Of course, this entry is dedicated to Kara.
I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear about my love life, lol, so I'll go on to a more comfortable topic.
Band trip to Busch garden was awesome. Taryn is so frikin horny though with those littel 6th graders. (she's in 7th rgader so it's alright...right?) A 6th grade tuba player has the HUGEST crush on taryn...aww... But Me, Megan, Taryn, Tyler, Clayton, AND Mariah were all hangin out in the abck of the charter bus. (HUGE BUS!!) Did you know that SIX people can sit in those last three sits in the back of the bus? hehe. It was me and Tyler sharing a seat. Then Megan right next to him and then mariah adn then clayton against the bathroom wall of the bus. And on top of all that, Taryn was laying across all of us...pillows and blankets were EVERYWHERE. It was like a sleepover.. . lol, j/k. But we did sleep.
It turned out that kara WAS alowed to come. . . .she though she didn't pay ehr money but she did. :(
Well. . . .I bought a new shirt yesterday.
"Gimme a dollar and I'll go away..."
Is the text on it.
I seem to stop my thoughts in spurratic places. . .
-Robert
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cradleofilth
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2004 23 May :: 10.39pm
:: Mood: blah
ech..
well today was eventful -.- i broke up with my boyfriend today and he made me feel more bad about it....i still want to be his friend though, i hope that can still come to be...i feel so bad about it...but i guess i'l have to deal with the pain >.<
*sigh* on the brighter side of today... i went to wal-mart and saw amanda. we walked around the store and talked for a lil bit, i found these really cool mariner triton flip-flops there that i bought, they're really cute...and i also got some pictures developed.. pictures from confirmation and summer camp...the confirmation piccies turned out cute^^
i have the last full day of school tommorow..than its 3 half days..and all of those days are for finals...argh...i dont like tests...
well im out for now.....goodbye for now journal,
Joe
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chuckitatthewall
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2004 22 May :: 9.21pm
Hiya. Yesterday was a stupid boring birthday. It was probably one of the worst birthdays I've had. I don't want to make anyone feel any worse than I know they already do but I'm just going to say this and uh..sorry if you do feel worse. I know that Jessica knew it was my birthday and that it was probably just a brain fart but it really sucks when one of your friends says "Why are you in free dress" on your birthday. Then I can't remember if I said something or she just realized it was my birthday. That really sucked. Enough feeling sorry for myself. We went to some Japanese restaraunt called Kyoto Palace. They cook food in front of you. Its pretty cool but I hate Japanese food. Also the cook guy was Mexican. Kind of weird. The best presents I got were from my sister. My mom and dad gave me some ugly clothes and a Beatles C.D. I like the c.d cause the Beatles are good. It has the "When I'm 64" song on it. I listened to it and started crying.
I'm done complaining about my birthday. My sister, Maureen, has really been getting on my nerves. It seems like she only has really mean things to say about my other sisters, particularly Michelle and Monica. She keeps going on and on about how shes so disapointed with Monica because of her decisions and who she has become. She just hates Michelle for everything and says that Michelle brings out the worst in everyone. Maybe she does but I don't care to hear about it constantly. I'm the only one that Maureen has who is willing to listen to everything she talks about so I suck it up and listen. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if she talks this bad about me with other people. Normally I don't just go and insult her and nit pick everything that is wrong with her unless I'm pissed...like right now. She makes me feel bad for liking my other sisters and I really think that thats wrong. Then I try to tell her I don't care to hear anymore about what she thinks about Monica and Michelle she says "Oh, this is just to hard for you to understand." So she trys to tell me that the reason I don't want to hear anymore is because I just am to stupid to get it. I understand..all of it. I think deep down somewhere she knows that what she is doing is very wrong and mean. How can she go around criticizing others when she is very far from being perfect. She has no friends and all she ever talks about is work. I am forced to endure rides in the car with her where all she says is "Did I tell you about this guy who came into the shop?....." (She works at Postal Annexe) It's so annoying. I'm tired of hearing about all those "retarded" people that go into the shop. Or those "pushy,snobby,bitchy" people. I'm sick of even talking about her.
On Thursday I was freed. Freed from being forced to be friends with Sarah. Yes, it is finally over. Let me tell you the past year and half has sucked. I hate being friends with her. She called me a bitch when we were in a fight once but I forgave her because we give her a ride home and other shit. I am a bitch..sometimes. I'm a bitch when I have to be but the way she called me one was completely unfair. She said "Well you always act like such a bitch when your with Louise." YEA WELL GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE?! Shes a true friend. Shes been my friend since kindergarten and I can trust her. Shes not using me. I would go to her with serious issues before I'd go to Sarah anyday. I don't think Sarah really cares. She may be prettier than me (grosser too) and guys may like her more but I'm just gonna bet that I could keep a guy around longer (without talking about sex or promising any things to do with sex) than she could. There is more to love than saying "Oh! I like you!and you're hot so that means I love you" or "I'm single. You're single. I love you". Its so fucked up. You can't just say that you love somebody that you met for 5 minutes. No wonder "relationships" only last a few days or weeks in Jr. high. At a dance when she liked some guy she kept looking to up to her right and fluttering her eyelashes and giggling. Holy fuck. Its so fucked up. The guy thought she was weird. HA! YOU DUMBASS. She completely changes when she is around a guy. I don't think that I change that much. I get much quieter just cause I'm naturally shy. So the way I'm going to end our friendship will be very gradual. When she calls, unless I'm extremely bored, I won't call her back. Then I'll say "I never got the message" or "I was really tired". Technically thats true. I'm tired....of her. I really want to see what she turns out to be as in 10 years. She once told me she wanted to go to St. Marys college but shes kidding herself. Sarah has absolutely no motivation. She'll never make it into St. Marys unless she changes a lot. I'm not betting on that.
THIS IS NOW REALLY BORING. BYESTER. WHOEVER READS THIS PLEASE COMMENT ON THE SARAH THING.WELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUT IT WOULD BE NICE
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cradleofilth
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2004 22 May :: 7.21pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: perfect- simple plan
well its official..
i turned my life into a pile of sadness... 8th grade dance was yesterday...i barely held back the tears in class, i felt i was going to burst...so i came home i cried...and than that night my sisters friends came over... and now i come back to check my mail and i get an e-mail from my boyfriend...an email that made me cry when i read it.. one that is expected after what i've done....
Frans....i need to talk to you....it is about why i havent talked to you in weeks...get online tommorow please...i need to get this out so that i dont hurt you or me anymore than i have done already.....im almost in tears as im writing this entry...
it seems that everything thats been going on lately has been leading to sadness...and it seems that i cant do anything right and i always hurt someone...
im gonna stop writing now, before i get into this too much...
im out for now..
-Joe
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silversoldier
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2004 22 May :: 9.08am
:: Mood: just waking up
:: Music: "The Season Song" - 28 Days Later ST
The next year is ending soon
I'm such a dolt... I was going through my old journal entries again last night. One year ago yesterday, I was one really fucked up kid. I have thought for the longest time that things have been getting worse, but I just realized that this year may be the first year of recovery. There are a lot of changes that went on, a lot of bridges that were rebuilt, and a lot of buried skeletons. There's still a lot of changes that are yet to happen, but the time's aged things well thus far.
On to the semi-important items of the week...
In English for the entire week we have been reading "The Water Is Wide" by Pat Conroy. It's an autobiography about his time teaching on an isolated island of close to savage blacks. Mildly interesting.
In biology we have been working with chicks. My group's chick Butters was being taught to recognize green, which it did rather well. However, it also recognized males and hates males. Wonderful. That chick would peck at my hand until it was raw, if it got the chance. It's been fun watching Jarred work with his chick Jesús. It was supposed to come to the sound of a bell. Instead, it went cross-classroom to the chicken cages most of the time. But, of course, I was watching Jarred a lot more than his chick :P.
We had two tests in Algebra this week; one over quadratic equations and functions, and the other being the district assessment test. Then, we started on our small trig. unit. Lunch has been uneventful. I don't remember if I told y'all that we got our long lunches back. Well, it would be nice if we weren't required to stay in the cafeteria to eat at school... that leads to a lot of free time on my part.
We've covered many subjects in history. The five major religions (plus Confucianism) of the world, the problems with Israel, and modern terrorism. I don't think Cislo's even worried about what's on the final right now...
Band has left much to be desired. The group is playing horribly (bad, because we have a concert next week), and I'm not even doing well (bad, because I'm lead for our section). Dacia and I are extremely happy that we get into Symphonic next year (which reminds me, there's a really interesting story about that later).
Spanish... let's see, we've conjugated about twenty verbs, learned some foods, and done a general review for the year. Well, its been more Sra. Holland that's been doing everything, as we're not too interested in having any more work for the end of the year.
P.E.: running, softball, wiffle ball, mat ball, all that stuff. I can't say I'm enjoying the class anymore, mainly because rules have become superficial.
In health, we've been working on the first aid unit. Not the most exciting, I feel, because I've done this a good five times already.
Beyond school, things have been extremely eventful.
First off, I've been to many musical events recently. I showed up at the BoB, though there wasn't much to listen to. I went to our choir's production of "Elijah," which was slightly of interest. Then the Symphonic Band, Chamber Orchestra, etc. concert on Monday, the choir concert on Tuesday, and my piano recital on Thursday (which I might say was one of my better times). Since we're on the subject of music, I think I'll throw this anecdote in now. Mr. Kellogg called me in after school Thurday about Symphonic. I already have a slot in for trumpet, but he asked me if I would switch to trombone. Apparently, Conrad (the best trombonist, other than the seniors) is not doing Symphonic next year because he wants to take honors English and German 5-6. This coincides with the Symphonic timeslot, so he'll end up in Rustler band. So, Kellogg needs someone who can switch to trombone quickly over the summer (apparently, the existing trombonists are not well-to-do), and he picked me.
Great great great news!!!! I was told that I accumulated enough points to make Thespian this year!!!
That's about it for now.
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linkedfantasy
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2004 21 May :: 7.58am
:: Music: Missy Elliot: Gossip Folk (lol)
Subjected to teirany of what seems to last only in school. When I'm out of school. .. it's me time, and only me.
Well, I decided to tell you about my past days.
Band Banquet was awesome. Won a couple of award for All-County Band and Solo & Ensemble Superior ratings. I "broke it down" lol. But seriously, I did dance. It was f-ing awesome.
Now for last night. It seems that an arguement spurred jsut because I don't like Jessica Dasher's friends and she said "I speak my opinion about her and it sounds like I'm talking shit"
Well, i HATE Anysia. How's that? I can hate anyone i want. People want to beat you up Jessica because of this. But you know that I try to tell them not to. But you can go ahead and get your "brother's friends" to "defend you". You're such a hypocrit.
"Omg robert. Why are you telling other people about our business. You're telling them to stand up for you and shit"
"No....i tell them what's going on in my life. It's there choice to defend me. I don't really care what my friends do."
She's so dumb. You're losing friends. But what do I care? I love band. HAHAHAHA.
-Robert
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2004 18 May :: 10.43am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Missy Elliot: I'm really hott
::still laughing about subject::
I stayed home from school today.. . .
Two doctor's appointments occupy today's schedule as i stay home and await our departure to the Del Prado office where he resides.
What have I done? To deserve what seems not to be fair. I have a thyroid disorder. . .blackouts, dizziness, migraines. I only wish I would have done something differnt to change the enevitable. But we could have done is no excuse for the present. I guess I must deal with it somehow....after all, it is the present.
-Robert. Just. . .. Robert
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2004 17 May :: 10.07pm
:: Mood: weeeee!!!
:: Music: knocking on heavens door- avril lavigne
im happy-ish!
well today was great! it was crazy hait day at school ^^ and i spiked my hair in bright purple spikes, it was soo kewl^_^ and tommorow its clash day! im gonna wear my ghetto guard uniform with other thingys that make it clash, its gonna be sooo much fun!
the spring concert went well, i didnt mess up toooo much.....i can to 5's now on meh rifle!!! w00t! *cheers to himself*
*cough*
well anywhos, me and mojo exchanged html codes to fix up our journals, i can finally make it so that my backround doesnt move ^____^ thankies sooo much mojo!!!! *hugs*
schools coming to an end next week >.< it makes meh sad...because im gonna be seperated from all meh bestest friends..im gonna miss everyone sooo much.
well im off to bed, g-nite journal, and whoevers reading this ^^ bai bai
~joe
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2004 17 May :: 7.42am
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: Kelly Osbourne: Shutup
I don't really have the expressive imagination right now to think of a witty and clever subject.
Friday, I went to the moveis with my girlfriend Kara and ehr friend Emily. Of course, her Kara's mom hasn't emt me so she just had to meet me. lol. She thought I was a "lovely young man?" I think?
Saturday was the Band Performance at a church. Don't ask me which one. After the performance, me, Brittani, and D.J chilled in the church. We weren't very religious and never will be.
Sunday was lazy day. . . . phone and sick most of the time. I threw up Saturday night and Sunday morning. Took medicine though.
the sun seems to shine when not needed
today, i'd rather have the clouds.
-Robert
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xThisTimeImperfectx
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2004 16 May :: 7.31pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: None.
I'm So Bored.
Made a new screename; xP0etryInDespair. If you wanna add it, go ahead.
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xThisTimeImperfectx
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2004 16 May :: 5.03pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: None
Version Two.
New version. AFI song, The Leaving Song Pt. 2. Yeah. It sucks. I'll be working on it a lot.
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