:: 2005 20 October :: 3.29 pm

I am having dinner with my parents tonight. I am currently just waiting for them to arrive here at my dorm.
I am bored though, bored bored bored. BUT Joslyn comes home to-morrow. yay above yays. That is all my excitement. Im going to start my paper. they are here.

2 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 20 October :: 1.47 pm

I am currently in good standing at this university and not failing. that is fantastic, im gettin 3 c's and a B but that is so much better than I thought i was doing. not that it will be that way too long after the two tests I bombed today combined with that paper that is due tomorrow. shooty shoot shoot.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 19 October :: 2.25 pm

the day is getting better.
but for those of yous out of the loop let me fill you in.

I am currently seeing a guy named ray.
Yes sudden. Im sorry.
Hes nice.
anyway he lives with his ex girlfriend. only she wont accept that he is broken up with her blabh lblah

last week he went to texas to get a new car in order to leave her house.
well las tnight we went out and he got pulled over and since he just got the car home that day and so he didnt have it registered.
bitches impounded it.
so now he is staying with me. or he did last night. im not quite sure what the arrangements are but whatever. we will figure that shit out.
but yeah so that is the shit that is stressing me out.

4 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 19 October :: 2.09 am

well the worst day ever concludes with the worst night ever.
the one fucking time that we arent doing anything wrong and the cops come.
fuck you guys.
my life is suck.

4 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 18 October :: 6.53 pm

QUIZ WHORIN'

You are a very simple person and thats very cool
because you dont complicate much and you always
look good.


What is your clothing style?( girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla



You are a Playful/Innocent lover! Love for you is
like childs play! Not in the bad way, but that
your love is the most pure and innocent of the
all. When you love someone, you know it in your
heart because you get a feeling that makes you
feel on top of the world! If people look down
on you because they think you are too immature
for love, dont bother with them, they probably
just wasted their childhood lives trying to be
adults, while you have the right sense of mind
to keep innocent as long as you possibly can.


What Kind Of Love Do You Show?(With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 17 October :: 5.17 pm

so thats an interesting theory, when you know someone for long enough do you start running out of things to talk about, do you repeat conversations. huh. good question. off to work now. i am tired.

5 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 17 October :: 12.48 pm

wow. i need to stop reading your email, because what your mom said really hurt, she knows nothing.

1 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 17 October :: 12.42 pm

"I started smoking cigerettes theres nothing else to do I guess"

sounds about right 4 on the drive home, fantastic.
Everything is so screwed up right now. my head is spinning i knew seeing you and talking to you would fuck me up even more. it was an okay day though, minus all the crying and sadness.

Catch a Star

:: 2005 16 October :: 11.23 pm

Im tired and hungover and stupid,
this is all the last thing that i need, but then again i did it to myself right?
I mean god imagine changing and feeling shitty about being lied and wanting to make sure that things work out right in the long run.
i cant believe that.
and at the same time i cant because its too damn hard
everytime i get somewhere and draw some conclusions you are there talking or you left some post that just fucks me up more than anything in the world.
I fucking hate myself and im beginning to not like you so much either.
im sorry to say that, even sorrier that its true.
i dont know why you love me so much, im not that great.
i made you give up yoru best friend and im a bitch adn i hurt you.
what the fuck do you want with me.
for the first time in my entire life i really wish that i was dead.
honestly i dont feel like I have anything left to live for.
im crying all the time.
and you all see is this front,
and im struggling and dying, and trying to make some sense out of it all and all I get all the time is criticism because for the first time in a long time i did something for myself. something that i felt i had to do.
You want to know why, because things were shitty, I didnt trust you, yeha ray, he came along, he called me sweetheart and before things went too far i told you that it was over because i knew that i was falling hard and fast. maybe your right, maybe i did leave for something better. i dont look at it that way, but go ahead if that is what helps you sleep at night then go right on and believe it. but to me it was something different and maybe the relationship would be better, mabye i wont get lied to. or maybe ill see someone new and realize that you and I are meant to be toghether. who fucking knows right?
this last week has been a constant struggle of you and him,
i wanted to go back to you I really did, your comfortable and I love you and I probably always will, and i was really close god knows i was, but you kept pushing,
and your still pushing, and the more you push the worse i feel and the less i want that back.
because what is it going to amount to, your pleading and wondering and pressing and me being suffocated.

2 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 13 October :: 12.13 pm

Im a facebook whore!
I love college.
oh yeah that paper. I have the conclusion left and frankly whatever ive thrown together just now is pretty damn good. especially for only like 2 hours of inconsistent work. I wonder how great I would be If i just did stuff on time and right. huh.
oh that reminds i have a paper due next week an art ananlysis. I think that professor is probably expecting something good too since he gave us a month to do it. huh.

5 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 13 October :: 10.05 am

fuck, how come i never know what to do like ever.
choices suck. i just want people to decide things for me in a way so that nobody ever gets hurt but then it wouldnt be life would it.
ack. gotta write about war now. due in like 6 hours shit shit shit.

4 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 12 October :: 2.04 pm

quote of the fucking day.
the long tired, sleepy have yet to work on paper that is due tomorrow day.
"gold and woman... WHOAH"
thank you professor cid.

Catch a Star

:: 2005 12 October :: 10.04 am

I dont work until seven. I have a paper due tomorrow. and some math homework, for right now though, sweet sleep and gilmore girls. not that id be nearly as tired if someone didnt call me at 545 in the morning. grr.
things are okay though. i almost lost your class ring and then i found it, i was worried cuz i know you want it back. and i have to get your stuff around here soon and its going to be hard and im not yet prepared to give you up. but i need to. i hate knowing whats best for me and then actually doing it. i fucking hate liz. fuck you liz.

4 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 12 October :: 12.11 am

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkkkkkkkk


why is this happening.
im so fucking fucked up.
i fucking love you, but please please fucking please try to understand me,
this could take months, a massive amount of time.

Here is the best explanation that i can come up with.

I am always meeting guys and wondering what if?
It has nothing to do with you, it is never that i dont love you, it is that i am 18 years old and worried about never experiencing my life to the fullest and no that does not mean fucking interesting people.
The only way i can do that is to break from you.
It we are meant to be we are meant to be, it will happen, as for right now, step back, get over me and move on.
because until i am completely content and absolutely sure that you are the best person for me then i am not willing to jump back into that relationship.

Im sorry to put it all so bluntly but right now i need to be selfish and make sure that everything is right.

5 stars caught | Catch a Star

:: 2005 11 October :: 12.34 pm

"I love how you neglect to care that you have a roomate and a friend sleeping on your kitchen floor"

Catch a Star