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2004 26 August :: 3.57am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Ryan Cabrera-On my way down
I had such a good night. Everyone and everything just made me really happy.
Erika and Shannon were my savors. Jess god, lol makes me laugh no matter what. Till I pee my pants ;) Nothing ever gets old with us.
*makes puppet and slurpee sound* ahahah! :) I LOVE THE PUPPETS! :) wooo go us. I know we are the biggest losers lol but OH WELL because you all love us anyway. *smiles
And Dan just always cheers me up because he is so dumb lol. and he's Mr. Boom Boom lol.I love that kid, and he's gotta be the closest guy friend I've ever had. lol ah good stuff.
I just realized that I'm okay with everything after tonight. Or getting there.
I like everyone, I forgive everyone, I'm okay with everything now, I'm ok with me.
Which is going to make things a lot easier since I can't forget about everything, cos it just doens't matter anymore. I don't want to waste anymore time just being dumb. I'm really happy now because I let everything go with *almost* everyone and everything, that I've ever held on too and I love that for the first time in weeks I feel totally free from all the crap I've been stressing over.
Im just going to relax more not think about it, because most of the time it's nothing, but by thinking about it so much it becomes so much more.
I'm just happy with everything, and everything's going to be good this year. I'm going to have a good year, and everything is going to be great, and I'm really excited NOT for school to start because I'm really going to miss summer the corn picking all day, and my ass and tah tah's *smiles for jess* being burnt constantly from tanning, and changing far too many dirty diapers. Lol Jess KNOWS how bad it was ! lol
A lot of good things happened this summer. I met Dan , well not met him, but we got so close and I wouldn't change that for the world. Me and Kate had a lot of fun all summer. Birthday Bash was the best though. Or the the drive there anyway :) Shea and I had good times too, espically Eden. Me and Jess always have good times. Me and Erika are closer, me and Jenna are a lot closer :) Mike and I lol are a lot closer and me and a certain someone are like very very good friends now, which I never thought would happen. I'm going to miss him a lot though. Jimmy and I are talking. A lot of good things happened this summer, and this summer was a hell of a lot better than the last.
I'm so in love with Ryan Cobrera. He's got the prettiest voice. I would bang him in like two seconds. I don't care, I'd be a whore. He's gorgeous. Pretty pretty man.
Everything is ok, with the potential of being even better. I can only hope that everything will get worked out fully, but it's almost there, and I'm just happy that I don't have to continue any stupid games and being mad constatly. Although I am dreading a certain class this year, and how shitty someone is going to try to make it.
I have to work today 7:30 till 4:30. That's a long friecken day. I don't know anyone I work with either. So that really bites.
Can anyone tell me why I'm up at 4:10 in the morning? I can tell you! because I'm extremley happy!
"Sick and tiered of this world. There's no more air. Tripping over myself. Going no where. Waiting. Suficating. No direction. So I took a dive and on my way down, I saw you and you saved me from myself. And I won't forget the way you loved me. And on the way down I almost fell right through but I held on to you. I've been wondering why it's only me. Have you always been inside waiting to breathe? It's alright, here comes the sunlight. I wake up and now I'm alive. Because of you. I was so afraid of going under, but now the weight of the world feels like nothing. Nothing at all. You're all I wanted, you're all I needed. And I won't forget the way you loved me."
I love that song. I listen to it constantly.
All is forgiven, soon to be forgotten.
You still owe me a very big apology and it better not start with a message popping up on my msn. That is not an apology although it might help, but not an apolgy.
I need some sleep before work. Goodnight all.
Thank you for making everything good.
muah*
~jess
2 do you.♥ |
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glitterkisses
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2004 25 August :: 8.32pm
:: Music: Dashboard Confessional-Vindicated
I'm going to try to keep my mind off it. Like I should.
What do I honestly want to happen?
I don't want to do this all over again.
I've been so good at forgetting it. All of it.
I want to be strong, independent.
I really put my whole heart in the first time and you didn't care.
All into a friendship I thought was important to you too.
A friendship that hurt for a long long ass time.
You may never understand how I feel, or what I expect.
I feel I derserve an apolgy not to make things go back in time, just because I've never been hurt bysomeone that much.
Why do I even care? I don't know, I just do.
I just can't help but wonder if you miss being my friend or if you ever wonder too.
10 do you.♥ |
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glitterkisses
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2004 25 August :: 7.57pm
You're absolutley right. I do run away because that's all I know how to do. I do hope things fail, because that's what I'm use to. That's how I know how to deal with. Teach me otherwise.
I just need to talk to you, after all this time, the fighting hasn't done any good. I don't know what I'd say, so I'll just end up saying nothing, running ..and things will continue to get worse.
I'm sorry.
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glitterkisses
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2004 25 August :: 5.16pm
"Oh well A snowgloab"
"NO JESSS"
"what?"
"That's not a snow gloab"
"oops"
"My dad's going to kill us. It took paul forever to get the golf ball on the tee"
"oh so that's what it is"
"I did the same thing, then it took them forever to get the golf ball back up again"
"well shit son"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"hey what are you doing"
"sleeping, now your ass can be smooshed in between the wall and your matress"
"it's not that bad just get closer to me"
"I can't you have your ass everywhere"
"well you sleep over here it's tradation"
"let's go eat"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"look"
" *picks up paper* "Hey sweetie don't fo get my Tampax. Extra Large, overnights.
Love Margret
"Don't for get the condoms
Love Lexus
call me after work"
"Hey snicker doodle, don't forget my Special milk
Love Mom"
"haha what are these for?"
"when we go tanning. you'll see
"*laughs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me and Jess had a fun night. Thanks Erika for playing along with our little game. *laughs You get us very well. Lol that's why we love you.
What a waste. This came out of no where and now you're doing something your going to regreat because I would never do this to you.
So I feel likeI should be upset about stuff, but I'm actually really happy. I don't know if it's the muffin's me and jess are loaded up on, but I'm pretty sure I'm just done with dealing with crap. It's not running away, it's not giving a fuck. Not directed twords anyone, since I know you'll read that sentence and think it was about you, AND ITS NOT! Promise. I'm just going to drink my wine and bananna's and make shadow puppets with jess outside at wee hours in the morning while being possessed and peeing our pants, and be happy. If that's not living, what is! :)
~jess
1 do you.♥ |
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glitterkisses
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2004 25 August :: 7.54am
:: Mood: awake
"What the fuck"
"what"
"It's 7:30..I'm supose to be at wok Jess"
"oh my gosh"
*bursts of giggles*
"oh well"
"guess your not going to work then?"
"guess not, I'll tell them ..I had diaraha"
*laughs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah so I'm missed getting up for work. Ehh..not good. It's just the school though. They won't be too mad.
HEYYY PURTYYYY PUSSY!!!! WERE COMIN FOR YA. WERE GONNA GETCHU *laughs* good stuff.
That's really retarded I'm really sick of her crap. She's stupid. I Don't give a fuck so she needs to just let it be. Just get over it. I hate that someone can be so stupid and think they are actaully making sense. Stupid underclassmen.
"What is that?"
"Bowels Jess, go back to sleep"
~jess
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2004 24 August :: 8.44pm
YAY!!! JESS GETS TO COME PICK ME UP!!! Which doesn't seem like a big fucking deal but considering she isn't aloud to have people in her car for 6 months expect for when we went to the farm and the movie which is 2 minutes away from her house. But yay! we both are moody bitches and I need my pappy's lovin!
~jess
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glitterkisses
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2004 24 August :: 7.07pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Ryan Cabrera-On The Way Down
So my parents want me to drive a maroon Toyota Camry, that's a stick. I said hell no. For many reasons. Ahh Never. I'm buying my own car. I will never drive that piece of junk. Espically a stick. Count me out.
The sun is shining every day, the clouds never get in the way for me and you. I've known you for just a week or two. But baby I'm so into you I can hardly breath. I'm in so totally wrapped up emotionally. Attracted so phsycically active, so reckrouselly. I need you so desparetly, sure as the sky is blue. Baby I love you.
Never knew that I could feel like this, can hardly wait till our next kiss, you're so cool.
If I'm dreamin please don't wake me up cos baby I can't get enough of what you do. And I'm in so electrically charged up, kenetically active iradically, I need you fanatically. You get me so magically, so sure as the sky is blue. Baby I love you.
I can't believe that this is real the way I feel, baby I've gone head over heals.
I wish you wouldn't have kissed me last night because I'm just going to have to ignore it like I've been doing.
I can't help be feel worthless when of all people I can't help you. You're my best friend and I can't even help you.
I need a ride to the football game Friday.
Going tanning woo!
~jess
3 do you.♥ |
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glitterkisses
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2004 24 August :: 1.07pm
Reallll nice. After being the biggest asshole you can be to me, and intentionally saying mean and hurtful things, and telling me how much you hate me. You still read my journal and have the balls to leave comments about my life. Are you kidding me? Don't even go there because I swear you'll end up hating me even more than you do now.
God I really hate people.
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glitterkisses
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2004 24 August :: 12.05pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Avril Lavigne-Don't tell me
Kate came and got me yesterday and we loaded up all the popcans and went to Family Fare to get more moeny in popcans. It was gross and embarssing. It was funny though and we got moeny so whatever. I don't care. Moeny is moeny.
We went to Woodland and went shopping. I swear I only ever shop at Forever 21 now. I love that store. My paycheck goes there. I normally save some of my paycheck for my car, seeing as how I won't be able to drive till at least Febuary grrr, but I didn't this time. I blew it all on school clothes. Oh-well what can ya do.
Got home and took a shower, got ready and went to the movies to see the Exorsist with Heidie, Jeff, and their friend Tony. Ha imagine that. Anyway, it was fun. The movie scared the shit out of me. I'm so dumb, I see scary movies and then I'm scared shitless for like a week or two.
Got home and my parents were gone. My Grandpa's heart put him back in the hospital. So we all had a long night and I'm exhausted and sick and tiered of all this bullshit.
"I swear to God I'll sock you right in the fucking face" good stuff.
I hate stupid people like the stupid assholes that IM NOT EVEN FRIENDS WITH, who don't really have a reason to read this besides the fact that they have no lifes and like bringing other people down, who can kiss my fucking ass! Espically my brother's friends who won't leave their fucking noses out of other peoples lifes.
Last night I never ever felt that way before, it's never what I wanted, ever. Last night though, it's all I wanted and it killed me. I'm so stupid. What was I thinking?? I'm happy that it worked out though because I love you. A lot.
I LOVE MY PAPPY ! DOOOOOOOOO IT!!! NAPKINS ARE NEEDED. WHERES THE PUDDING? MARY JANE WEARS SHORT SHORTS. Cheer up Peter, I love you.
~jess
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2004 23 August :: 10.10am
So let me make something perfectly clear for all of you.
· I AM NOT ON DRUGS *
I have never once in my entire 15 years of existnce smoked the reefer, or taken pills to get high. OR ANY kind of drugs.
So to my brother’s firlfriend. Rachel whom I’m sure will read this. I don’t know where the hell that idea got in your heard. If you were in my room , or what the fuck you did to get the idea in your head to tell my brother, or people from MY school, not yours. WHOM MIGHT I ADD IM NOT EVEN FRIENDS WITH!!! To not only speard your rumor to other people, but to have your stupid fucking friends ask my best friend, and have my brother tell my parents. You went way over board.
First of all. I DON’T even know you! Just because you’re my brothers firlfriend, doesn’t make us friends, because we are most certainly not! You DO NOT know me at all! We don’t talk, and we ARENT FRIENDS. So what in the hell makes you think that you have any fight to attempt to bud your big nose in MY life and run your mouth? WHAT?!?!Tell me, because I just don’t seem to fucking understand.
I don’t even want to hear your obserd ramblings. Listening to your pathetic exsuses as to why you feel any passage to assume you are in any way, shape, or form involved in my life will make me dumber just for listening to you. So how about you just save it. “Because I was worried about you” It’s pure bullshit. WE ARENT FRIENDS, OR FAMILY, OR ANYTHING!! SO YOU DON’T WORRY!! So don’t use the playing ground that your just some nice girl who worries about everyone, YOU JUST DON’T bud into complete strangers lifes and cause ciaos. Ughhhhhh!
I really wouldn’t be so fucking pissed off and wanting to literally rip your head off just because you are either so insecure, or have no life of your own to create drama in and sterr up lies and trouble. That I could have gotten over becaue it’s kind of funny because me and jess kid around about that kinda stuff, everyone does. And anyone who knows me, knows I am nothingl ike that. Unless you are dumb such as yourself, and DON’T know me. I am a nice, sweet, funny, crazy, smart girl. If you aren’t stupid. I’m not dumb though. Dumb enough to put myself in the postions you’re outing yourself in.
It’s the fact that I’m going through one of the hardest time in my life. I am totally stressed out. I’m emotionally and physically drained, and I’m on my breaking point about to have a break down any second because I just want two fucking seconds to catch my breath and actually deal with my life because it not going how I had hoped and the more that happens the more I don’t have time to actually deal with each other. Pushing everything aside to deal with the next thing. I haven’t actually just dealt with how I feel about anything. So how dare you even rile up more crap that I have to deal with. For no reason.
Just because you play tonsil hockey with my stupid brother doesn’t mean anything to me at all.
Maybe I’m being a blunt, frigid bitch but you know what? I don’t care. I’ve had just about all I cant’take withs tupid people. I’ve had it. So you better start watching what you say and who it’s about, and espically your reasoning for it. Because this is crap.
Oh, and it continues to further angering mer that first you starts with the whole “Nick you really should read your sisters journal and tell your mom to read it” Then this. The nerve of some people. All I can say is you better not be hanging out at my house a lot because I swear if I’m not working, or with friends, or shopping, if I’m home you’r going to be wailed on. I wont hesitate to say anything. I don’t need your bull shit and you wont ever hear the end of it, because I don’t like you. I don’t’ know how anyone can be so stupid, and “gossipy” and a complete bitch. I mean really what did you think would happen? I would love you and become your best friend because you told a bunch of random people to ask me if im on drugs, and my best friend? Then have my brother tell my parents and have them accuse me of something that I would never do. Are you kidding me??
And Nick ugh! I wouldn’t mind ripping his head off too. You disgust me. You look down upon so many people because they aren’t like you. Really, you aren’t that great anyway. We both aren’t perfect, no one is, but you are one of the most selish, whiney, conceided, FAKE, and an asshole. Just because I don’t go to church every Sunday, give me a break. I’m not nearly as active in Church as you USE to be. You’re not worthy of me giving a damn about what you think OR how you feel. About anything. Because you never have.
I don’t regularly attend church, and that has absolutely NO effect to take away my faith, or more importantly love for God! You don’t have to go to church EVERY Sunday and youth group every Tuesday to have a relationship with God! Hell you don’t even have to go to a Church to have a real relationship with him. That is the most bogus thing I have EVER heard! What am I doing??I don’t have to explain ANY of this to you!
I got mocked because I use the computer, a lot. I fight with mom and dad, like any sane teenager does. Like how you fight and whine CONSTANTLY about using one of their vechiles because you are too lazy , almost 18 years old and you can’t save up 500 dollars for your car, because your dumb and blow it on food, or crap for your x-box. Which you sit in front of till the wee hours, which is worst than me on a computer. At least I get some educational value from the computer, SEEING AS HOW THAT IS THE FIELD I WANT MY JOB TO BE IN! You igonart, selfish, asshole.
I’m always being accused for this and that, always aked about this and that. Which you constantly include yourself in, mostly because of you. To take any light off you. You NEVER admit when you’re wrong! EVER! And you think it’s fine when you get away with anything but no one else! That’s terriable. God is never going to fogive you. BLAH BLAH BLAH! How dare you ever use God against me in your head, or out loud. You should be ashamed of yourself. Because as much wrong as I do, with everything you will never let go, and you always use against me because you’re no better than that, you’re JUST as bad. You lie constantly about the dumbest things. Which makes you NO better than me. I hate that your family because family shouldn’t feel the way I feel about you, or vice versa. You’ve never given me the easy hand, you’ve never been just nice to be nice, you either need something, want something, or someone’s around. You and Katti always have ganged up against me just because I’m not into anything your into doesn’t mean I’m as stupid as you make me out to be. The only reason I think your stupid, is for acting the way you do and not being the brother I had hoped for. For being a brother , a loving brother period.
And I don’t feel bad about being a total bitch this very second because you deserve so much worse than the truth. You deserve nothing at all.
People need to just learn to not make crap up, and just stop being so fucking stupid! I just can’t take any more. So a heads up don’t piss me off today because I just might piss you off right back. And just a bit of advice to everyone. PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AFTER WAKING UP! The outcome is much better!
SO FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Sigh I feel much better now. I wrote that the other night, but still felt the need to put it in my journal. It was defiantly needed.
Anyway me and my mom are going shopping today yay J So today should be good. Then I’m going to see the exorsicst. However it’s spelled. So toodle loo.
~jess
3 do you.♥ |
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2004 22 August :: 11.09pm
Last night Shannon showed up and wanted to go to a movie that we talked about seeing, so I got dressed and cleaned my room while she talked to Jess and we met her at the movies. Saw without a paddle, which was really fun. Oh, lol and this big fat man sitting behind us was so funny. He burped and commented on everything, and clapped lol. Me and Jess love people like that.
So I call my mom to tell her I need a ride in like ten minutes because jess and shannon can't drive after midnight. And the next thing I know I'm being accused of being on drugs.
I have decided after the woohu thing, and now with my stupid STUPID brother's girlfriend, yes you rachel, that I don't like her.
So I got home and me and my mom got in a huge fight, which ended up making her feel really stupid. Like I would actually do drugs, WHICH IN MY ENTIRE 15 YEARS OF EXSITANCE I HAVE NEVER DONE DRUGS, and of course I wouldn't hide them in my bed room. GRRR so I ended up balling my eyes out and calling Dan, then Katie. Then going to bed.
Then today we had a movie and pizza night with my Grandparents. It was so nice.
If I don't see the Exorisist tomorrow I'm going to be really mad.
~jess
5 do you.♥ |
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glitterkisses
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2004 21 August :: 12.39pm
:: Mood: tired
Ughh nice fucking way to say a damn word you haven't said all summer
*screams*
ughh im gonna kill someone
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2004 20 August :: 11.29pm
I love you Jess, you don't think you're that great, but I know I would never be who I am this second without you. I know that I wouldn't have made it through anything without my best friend. Our problems today will be nothing tomorrow , promise.
STROKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
~jess
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2004 19 August :: 1.38pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Kenny Chesney-I go back
One Tree Hill starts again Tuesday. *smiles* You don't know how much that excites me. It is the best show, ever. I'm totally obsessed. Anyone who doens't watch it should die. It's on Tuesdays at 7. DO IT!!!
I went tanning last night and I went in the "Mega Ultra" and you stand for like 15 minutes and I swear I felt soooo sick. So I got out. Pathetic huh? I have a scardom of tanning booths.
I finally talked to Dan last night. That made my day.
But JESS needs to return a phone call, you stupid hussy!
that's all
~jess
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2004 18 August :: 6.10pm
:: Mood: aggravated
Yesterday kate came and got me and we went shopping. Stopped to see Andy at work. He's a pain in the ass, but I love him. Then went to Jessica's, and we went to the soccer game. Saw Mike play. Then went to see Heidie at work. Came home, got bitched at. Now i'm grounded. ha imagine that.
~jess
1 do you.♥ |
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2004 17 August :: 1.01pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Kelly Clarkson-Breakaway
I didn't have to work today. It was really screwed up anyway. I just know I SHOULD have been there though, because I need moeny. Ughhh!!!
Yeah so my Grandpa's not doing so good anymore. Now he's having heart problems. Seriously let the poor man catch a fucking break.
Ughhh *screams* I'm just soooo sick of ..everyone...everything...shit. I'm sick of it.
*sigh*
Espically my mom. Ughhhh I swear she has no compassion or heart , or concern for anyone other than herself. She can be such a cruel bitch! ughhh I just cannot stand her. EVER! The only time that I'm actually calmed and relaxed is when she's not home. Which she's home A LOT! due to certain circumstances which really blow. She is just so un-greatful and selfish. I cannot stand how rude she is, I just can't tolerate it anymore. She's my mother, and yes I love her, but I seriously want to tear her head off and throw it out into the bushes. UGHHHHH *SCREAMS* IM SICK OF EVERYONE!!!
I really hate when people are so stupid that they are going behind your back doing something that they think you have no clue about, but couldn't say it in a more clearer place than day, and are totally pretending, and decieving you, and most importanlty LYING to you, and yet they *STILL* after all this think that you are clueless. And of all people..UGHHH I WANT TO KILL YOU !!
So Katie's coming to get me and we're going shopping then I'm going to Jess's again with Erika and Becky..or so I think that's the plan. So maybe that'll make me not so bitchy. We'll see.
~jess
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2004 16 August :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Skye Sweetnam-Billy S
I went to Jess's last night. I haven't hung out with her for almost two weeks because of band camp and then she went on vacation so I was happy to see her. Went to the movies, came home, and pretty much went and talked in bed lol and then went to sleep we were both really sleepy and had to get up earlie for work in the morning. Work sucked. Ughh sooo bad. It was a really long field and I just didn't want to be there. I didn't get to go tanning, *sigh* not to sound like a total airhead, but I pretty much wasted my moeny because my mom's too big if a bitch to ever take me when I want to go, not that she has anything more important that conflicts with running me into town. Sure would be fucking nice if I could drive. ughh yeah so Piage, and my uncle and aunt left today. I'm going to miss that little girl. She's the sweetest little kid, she's the calmest baby and I love her to death. Ahh she's adoreable. As much as I bitched about babysitting it had nothing to dow ith her, just the conflict with my time. I'm just afraid now that everyone's gone, family wise, no one else is visiting, that my Grandpa is going to get even more depressed than he arleady is. ughh. djflkajsflkj I just don't even want to think about it. I miss talking to him. I really do. I don't know when I suddenly became not good enough for one of my best friends. ughh oh well, now i know how jess feels. I need to stop spending all my moeny, but I don't really have a choice seeing as how my parents insist that now that I have a job, I am responsiable to pay for everything! what is that?? I have to pay for everything, clothes, make up, hair gel, i dont use the same toothpaste as my parents, so who has to buy it? ME!! ughh WHAT IS THAT?!? No wonder why I'm craving my next paycheck. ughh I'm just drained from the past two three weeks. I haven't really sat down and just thought about all my thoughts, sorted them out, I just keep going on , dealing with issues, having fun, adding more to the pile of thoughts. That's the way to screw yourself over. Oh well. What can ya do. Erika, we need to go shopping this week or im going to come kidnap you! Just a thought. Katie and Jessica came over today. That was really the only high light and that only cheered me up for about 5 seconds. ha. wow, i need to just sleep. so im going to go
goodnight
~jess
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2004 15 August :: 11.07pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Lean Back Midget
Me and Jess went and saw Little Black Book. It was really cute. We're such whores. We up our legs up on the row in front of us when we're wearing skirts. Lol. Yeah. haha
I get to work with pappy tomorrow yay! Anyone want some applesauce?? lol
~jess
1 do you.♥ |
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2004 15 August :: 3.04pm
I got this in an e-mail
Things You Oughta Know About...
A Top 10 Fact Sheet on Alcohol
Alcohol
Alcohol is the most socially accepted addictive substance and is a contributing factor in over 75% of all Date Rapes.
Alcohol dehydrates you: it does not quench thirst, it makes thirst worst. Alcohol is also extremely high in empty calories.
Drinking alcohol while you are pregnant can cause permanent brain damage and often causes physical deformations in babies. FAS and PFAS (formerly FAE) are devastating disorders that often render their victims unable to function is society or to care for them selves in socially acceptable ways; many of these children grow up to commit suicide or end up "living" in the criminal justice system.
Alcohol causes varying degrees of the following side effects in EVERYONE who uses it; dulness of sensation, lowered sensory motor skills, lowered reactive or reflexive motor responses, impaired thought processes, impaired memory, impaired judgement, sleep or sleeplessness, and in extreme cases can cause coma and death.
When an alcoholic beverage is ingested a full 20% of the alcohol immediately enters the bloodstream by penetrating the wall of your stomach; drinking on a full stomach can slow this process.
Many people mistakenly believe alcohol is a stimulant, like coffee, when in fact it is a depressant.
One of the first things to go when you have been drinking alcohol is your sense of "good judgement" and your "inhibitions".
Alcohol can cause the following behaviours; aggression, sexual openness, excessive talking, spilling secrets, lying, phony friendliness and quick tempers.
A "hang over" is what happens when your body enters alcohol withdraw and the head aches you get are caused by extreme dehydration of your brain - your brain is literally being pulled away from your skull, leading to throbbing aches and sharp pains at attachment points like the temples and base of the neck.
70% of alcoholics and alcohol abusers will suffer the following irreversible physical side effects; cirrhosis of the liver (fatal in over 60% of cases), "cauliflowering" of the nose and ears (where your ears and nose become cauliflower shaped), permanent restructuring of the brain including loss of long term memory, heart problems, obesity, premature dementia (partial and full), loss of bladder control and slurred speech even when sober.
Percentage of Blood Alcohol and How it Effects Behavior
Blood Alcohol in Percentage
Behavioral Effects
0.05 (5%) Lowered alertness, "feeling fine", no inhibitions, lack of "good judgement".
0.10 (10%) Slowed reaction times, impaired motor functions, recklessness and "dare devil" behavior.
0.15 (15%) Large lapses in reaction time and judgement, some short term memory loss.
0.20 (20%) Marked depression, "coming down", decreasing sensory and motor ability, slurring words.
0.25 (25%) Severe motor disturbance (stumbling, staggering, falling down), little to no sensory input (can't smell or taste, blurred vision)
0.30 (30%) Stuporous (totally unaware of what is going on around you) but still conscious, no awareness of pain, no pain reflexes.
0.35 (35%) Unconscious and in some cases in distress, vomiting occurs, no motor skills (can't roll over when vomiting), similar to being under surgical anesthesia. Occasionally, coma can occur at this level.
nice huh?
2 do you.♥ |
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glitterkisses
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2004 15 August :: 10.23am
Sometime I think Thank God for woohu, because I vent soooo much, better on here than on someone right? Other times, I think about how it's a life saver for certain people. Just to come to woohu and read these peoples journal, get under their skin, use things against you, it's just so retarded. You think it holds power over us, to know what we're thinking, but do you really know how we really think you're total idiots, and we are going to screw you over so bad.
Anyway, I get to hang out with Jess today after I babysit, so I'm happy about that.
I kinda don't want the parents to come home today, I know it's just going to be cioas when they get back. Nick's in a bunch of trouble, I might just as well be in trouble. Ughh...I wish they'd just stay gone. I'm so much happier the few days while their gone then I've been the past two or three weeks. Of course I know parents are going to make me mad, but my mom is sooooo crazy! She makes a bigger deal out of everything than it has to be! Like she'll yell at me for an hour if I change the radio station in the car, to another country station when there are commercials on, which leads to an even bigger fight about how she just pisses me off because she's stupid and a psycho. UGhhh!!! I just am glad I'll probably be at Jess's when they get back, then I have to work tomorrow, so I wont have to put up with them until after work.
i need to go tanning every day till school starts from now on, otherwise im screwed.
~jess
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glitterkisses
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2004 15 August :: 4.35am
woootyyyyy doooo doooo i loaoove u
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2004 15 August :: 12.07am
Me and Kate went to the club and it was fun. Getting all dressed up like whores and such. But when a guy you're dancing with starts licking your neck and rubbing hands in skirts, i get pissed. ughh yuckie!
That's all , goodnight ya'll
~jess
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glitterkisses
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2004 14 August :: 6.43pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Ludacris-Screwed Up
Lol so me and Katie are all dressed up like two sluts haha and we are going to club revolution hoping boner boy isn't there, then we are gonna go party woo !!! go us
~jess
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glitterkisses
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2004 14 August :: 9.56am
Last night sucked so bad. I got so sick. My neck hurt so bad, and was throbbing to the point where I got sick, and i couldn't breathe, it just sucked. I took like all the Motrin you can take in one day and it only helped for a while. And I can't get it checked out till Monday. So Kate was gonna come over last night, and that didn't happen. Dan really pissed me off, I miss Jess, and I'm sick of babysitting and working. How's them apples for ya?
Tonight should be better. Home a lone. Me Katie and Linds are going to Club Revolution. Linds got her liscense yay!!! :) And for once I don't have to worry about a friecken curfew.
I need to go get my paycheck from the farm and go tanning...but nicks still sleepig and he'll be pissed if i wake him up. Ah, oh well.
~jEsS
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2004 13 August :: 9.41pm
Some people really piss me off sometimes.
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2004 13 August :: 2.35pm
Yesterday I had to work a full day 8-3:30 and I was so cold and wet. Denee and I went insane! We just couldn't take anymore corn! We just couldn't!!! We just were totally pshcotic. We were screaming, laughing, yelling, giggling, freaking out about everything. Then half way through the field we just jumped off the tractor and ran down our row screaming and laughing lol it was the funniest thing ever. Lol we just seriously were about to break down we were so crazy. I couldn't even look at the corn anymore, I couldn't remember what a tassel was so I was just picking everything and laughing so hard I like almost started crying. hehe good times. Jeff backed up the tractor though and made us get back on, but we had such a fun crew all we did was screw around and laugh and freak out, but Robin and Megan were on our crew and kept throwing tassels at Danielle for no reason, and people were getting really annoyed and pissed. So we saved up all our tassels in our hoodies for a entire row and then pelted them with all of them at the end. Danielle, Denee, Dustin, Sarah, Steers, and me. Without them our crew would be awsome. It was so cold though, and I didn't have my big yellow jumper pants and jacket because I let this boy who didn't have anything on but a tee shirt use mine, and he didn't give them back!!! grrrr I was freezing my butt off and I had to pee like a race horse soooooo bad all day! I just never went lol but enough about that. At lunch we all just layed on each other and refused to get up and ahh it was so just crazy. Everyone was so nuts all we did was luagh all day and act like five year olds. The highlight hehehehehe when me amy danielle and denee were laughing about the retarded arm humping. lol ahhhh ok enough about the farm lol it makes me a crazy person. "You're like a friecken monkey on crack"
I'm so glad my parents are gone till Monday. They have to do this thing for my Grandpa, who by the way is doing a lot better!!! He was realesed from the hospital today, and he is starting kemo next week. How the poor man will have energy left to do anything, is blows my mind, but I guess we'll just have too see. My aunt, there isn't much they can do. They found out really late, and unfourtanatelly she doens't want to try kemo because the chances of it not helping much are very high. I just try not to think about the bad while things are at the worst moment as they could be. Things are just setteling down for a while, I don't want to see it change untill it has too. Which it will, I know it, everyone knows it, but keeping calm while we can is really the only choice at this point.
So he's pretty much gone, and even though I didn't think I was okay with it, I am now. There are so many more times when I will feel like this. I may have pushed you away, and fell flat on my face, but you knew as much as me, I couldn't handle anymore than what we had. I tryed for your sake, but more so for mine. Because for once I wanted someone there to catch me when I fall, not just fall and pick myself up and try all over again. You're just a boy, with a car, with a heart, with brains, and I'm just a 15 year old girl who just isn't ready too handle something as serious as that could have been. I would have rather screwed it up now, then later. Because it just isn't a big deal. It's just not, and won't be for a long time.
I miss my Jess. Nobody understands my crazy life and thinks I'm as stupid as I really am but loves me anyway. I could live without most people, but not my best friend.
I don't know if I want school to start or not. I've been wanting it too, and a part of me still does, but then theres a big part of me who just wants to take the time I have left before my life gets more hectic and crazy and just use it to my advantage.
I'm going to the whitecaps game tomorrow WITH FIREWORKS!!! yay!!!!!! I'm so excited. That'll cheer me up for sure.
This whole thing has pushed me to my limits, and shown me just what my limits are, and a lot of limits I never knew I had.
I LOVE YOU PAPPY!!!!!
Jenna I miss you! Hope you're having fun!
~jess
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glitterkisses
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2004 11 August :: 4.47pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Kelly Clarkson-Breakaway
I have an assist on my neck!!! ahhhh if I start school with goaz around my neck, I'll be so
sad. Last night I couldn't sleep at all.
So I got up and went tanning then went to work, which I thought we wouldn't have to work, but
we did. They made us wear these big yellow bannana's in pajama's outfits lol. Me and Danielle
had fun with that. It was sooo cold I was freezing, my feet and my hands almost froze off. It
wasn't that bad thought. It was me, Denee, Danielle, and Collin. It was fun. Me and Danielle
went nuts on the way home. Lol made my day.
Yeah, so I'm thinking that they need to come up with a cure for cancer pretty soon before
everyone in my family dies from it.
2 do you.♥ |
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glitterkisses
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2004 10 August :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: Kelly Clarkson-Breakaway
I got up today and took a shower and got ready and me and my mom went shopping. Fun stuff. Ahh I Bought 3 new purses!! They are sooo adoreable. Anyway...yeah so I got home and then Kate called and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner w/ her. We ended up shopping lol. Then we went to Linds's AHHHH IVE MISSED HER SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! I Love you linds!! So we hung out there, tried on dresses, talked about everything, then they took me home cos i didn't wanna go to barkers w/ kate cos i have to work tomorrow and nwo im home. yay! i had a good day and you totally just made it so much better.
night
lov jess
2 do you.♥ |
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glitterkisses
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2004 9 August :: 8.10pm
my ass and my boobs hurt, sunburnt from tanning.
maybe it's just me but tanning scares the crap out of me.
*grrr*
I'm pissed at her, I'm pissed at him, I'm annoyed with her, I'm annoyed with him. She's dumb, She's dumb, He's REALLY dumb.
I want to smack all of you for being so stupid!! GET A FUCKING LIFE, AND GET OVER YOURSELF!!!
I vented to Angeeh for along time. That was nice. We both agree that most of the people in high school are retarded, including us. We just aren't *as* retarded and keep to ourselves. We aren't whores, we aren't party every weekend girls, we aren't too shy to not let people walk all over us, we have hearts, we aren't potheads, theifs, follor her and his every move kinda girl, we aren't going to totally fuck ourselves over. Yes, that's right. We are going to have lifes behond all this stupid crap.
I feel a ....screaming coming on if anyone else continues to make me believe a lot of you are stupid stupid...ignorant, irresponsiable, assholes and idiots. Yes, that's right, I'm in a bitchy mood, so fuck off!
ughh I swear the next time I decide to pick up the phone wheny ou call, you're in for it. I'm going to lay all your stupid little crap that you continue to pull evne after the first time , im going to lay it all down, and you'll be sorry for fucking with me, yet again. Stupid asshole.
Wtf?? You think that I don't know?!?! Do you honestly think that I am THAT stupid?? I've known ever since I figured...hmm...this can't be right. You'll read this, think...she's got to be talking about me, but how could she...there have been no clues. It might be someone else, I'll just continue not to say anything, because she can't *really* honestly know what's going on with us, with everything...so you just wont say anything at all. Well you know what? Go right on ahead, because I AM talking about you, and subconsiously you know that! You are just to much of a pansey, dont have the balls to be honest, be straight with me. Just tell me the truth. You know hoenstly? Something I thought you use to pursue, now I just think you are a total fake and foney. The thing I just cannot seem to understand is...this happened to you, and you turned to me, now that you have the oppurtunity wheny ou know the hurt, the pain, the drama it all caused, you go through with it too? you wanted me to feel the same way you did?? YOU DIDNT GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT HOW ID FEEL! DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD TAKE IT LIGHTLY AND BE OKAY WITH IT?? Wow, that's sad. YOu're pathetic. You deserve to be shot. Not really, that's a terriable thing to say, but you do deserve to be layed into, and hard. I just wonder if that would even make a difference. So after you know exactlly how I'd feel, you just what decide I don't care?? I don't care how Jess feels, I don't care what happens to Jess, I love her and care fo rher, but I just dont give a rats ass, is that what you fucking decide??? You piece of crap. Who the hell do you think you are...honestlyy??? WHO!!! TELL ME, ID SURE AS HELL LIKE TO KNOW WHERE THE HELL YOU GET YOUR BIG HEAD FROM??? BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT COULD POSSIABLY POSESS YOU TO BE THAT MEAN AND CRUEL, AND HONESTLY TO THINK YOUR ACTUALLY WORTH THAT CAPABILTY??? WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! GO BACK TO YOUR FUCKING HOLE!!! You know that time when EVERYONE hated you!!! and I was still there for oyu, I still cared about you and your feelings, I was there for you despite how much shit people put on me for it, and I just dind't care or listen because I THOUGHT you would do the same! DING DING DING I WAS FUCKING WRONG!!! YOU STUPID STUPID WHORE WHO HAS STABBED ME IN THE BACK MORE THAN ONCE NOW AND YOU STUPID STUPID GUY WHO HAS LIED TO ME FROM THE START!! YOU BOTH JUST LOST THE BEST FUCKING FRIEND YOU EVER COULD HAVE HAD! I DONT GIVE A SHIT HOW CLOSE WE WERE OR HOW LONG WEVE KNOW EACH OTHER IM DONE WITH YOUR SHIT AND YOUR LIES YOU FUCKING MORONS!! You know you owe me soooo much fucking more than explanation to do something so shaddy when I'm going through so much shit right now, but you know what?? JUST LIKE YOU, ITS NOT WORTH MY FUCKING TIME!!!! So you can take your fucking explanation, any apology I DOUBT YOU WILL EVER COME UP WITH!! and shove it, because I AM FUCKING DONE WITH YOUR BULLSHIT AND EVERYONE ELSES!!! FUCKK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!
Well...I feel much better.
I'm going to go eat strawberry's and watch a fucking movie, so don't fucking bother me with a stupid comment because I DONT FUCKING WANT TO HEAR ANYONES SHIT!
kfjalksdjflkajdflkasjdflkajdfklajdflkajglkajsdf
GOODWAY TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR BEST FRIEND!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm so fucking done with this. SO fucking done. That I should have realized how dumb I was believe you along ass time ago.
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glitterkisses
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2004 9 August :: 1.17pm
You want to know more more more about me.
I'm the one honking at you because I left late again.
Hey Hey, can you see I want you by the way I push you away.
Don't judge me by the way I'm acting today.
Get tangled up in me.
Jess
2 do you.♥ |
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