this was posted on a forum i read.


> 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup
> of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost
> instantly removed.
> 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
> someone else to hold them while you chop away.
>
> 3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet
> seat just by using the sink.
>
> 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed
> for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to
> use an egg timer.
> 5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you
> from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
> button.
>
> 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you
> will be afraid to cough.
>
> 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
> forget all about the tooth ache.
>
> 8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
>
> In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape.
> If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40.
> If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.
>
> 9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
>
> 10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
>
>
> Thought for the day:
>
> SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES . . . THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
> ANYTHING, BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM
> DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

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