:: 2007 19 November :: 9.25 am

It's Monday morning and I've had a very long weekend. I worked last night until eleven, went home, and wrote a paper for this morning. I didn't write the other paper that I needed to, but I'm sure she said something about we can wait until Wednesday to do it. I hope, at least.

I'm working thirty hours this week. Although I don't have school on Thursday or Friday, it's still going to be hell. I'm going home on Thursday so Rueben and I can go to his family's Thanksgiving. Then we're driving back up the same day so I can work on Black Friday. Ugh.

Now, off to Communication Theory, which strangely, I've come to enjoy.

Do you know?

:: 2007 12 November :: 6.52 pm

Smoking Prohibited Except in Designated Areas.

User Information Board.

Do NOT Change Settings on the LCD Screens! They are already correct and if YOU leave them along they will STAY correct!

No Food Or Drink Allowed on the Computer Desk.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FIX PAPER JAMS!!

Welcome to Pearce Labz!

2 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2007 7 November :: 2.09 pm

I can't stop popping my ears and it's driving me crazy.

I just finished baking brownies, and I will be enjoying them in a little while.

I have to work tonight from six to eleven. Pooh.

Wednesday nights are usually fairly slow.

UGH!

Do you know?

:: 2007 26 October :: 6.31 pm

Rueben and I just saw Across the Universe. It was a great movie.

I don't know what more to say.

It presented realities.

I've always had a problem with reality. Not reality in the sense of knowing what's going on in the 'real' world, but my alternate realities. The ones in my head. The reality of what could happen. What might happen, what seemed to happen, what didn't happen, but seemed like it did.

I've had this problem since I was a small child.

I feel like I have so much to say, but I can't possibly scratch the surface here. I want _____ . I need _____ .

I'm good at playing by the rules, but that doesn't mean I like it.

I think I'm Marxist leftist...whatever that means nowadays.

I'm writing a speech on Mike Gravel and one of the articles I found while researching was called: "Mike Gravel, more Leftist than Marx"

How can I rely on words to explain myself when they simply can't? That's one of the things I've learned these past few years. I envy those who can use words to their advantage. I just fumble with them. I don't get them.

I got music and I turned my back on that. What do I have left? Two years of college, and three more to go so I can teach kids of average ability how to read the sentence: The cat sat on the mat.

Let's face it, without some time of national initiative on the part of the people, this country will never be more than substandard in anything but blowing things up.

Oh the things I could have done, you could have done, we could have done, if only we were given the chance. The opportunity. Limited opportunity isn't enough to make humanity what it should be.

Everything should be unlimited. Free healthcare, free education.

I don't care if we need to be like China and weed people out at sixth grade. Look who's on top. China.

Why would you let children who will never get it hinder the children who could change the country? Why do you bring down the best to make everyone average ? What good does that do?

It kills everything. It killed me.

5 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2007 26 October :: 6.26 am

This day has possibility.

Do you know?

:: 2007 24 October :: 9.19 am

I know what they're doing is wrong, but that doesn't keep me from being scared shitless.

I guess we'll wait for Legal Aid to call us back so we can set up an appointment with the lawyer.

So this is what it's like to be an adult...

Do you know?

:: 2007 19 October :: 8.50 pm

The Jessa and Andy Show?

You changed the saying.

2 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2007 18 October :: 12.37 pm

My professor for my Latin American Literature class took us to Java City, the on campus coffee house, for class.

...and it was awesome.

Do you know?

:: 2007 17 October :: 9.49 pm

Midterms. So tired...

My brother got married and it was good. I have pictures on facebook for viewing pleasure.

Do you know?

:: 2007 15 October :: 7.28 pm

Woohu.


IS.

BACK...


I thought I was going to die.

Do you know?

:: 2007 12 October :: 11.38 am

It's a slow day on my friends page....I'm a bit disappointed, guys. I don't get to watch soaps because I'm in class.....I need entertainment somehow!!!


Anyway.

I'm heading home in about an hour for Charlie's wedding. It's going to be grand. I just cleaned the apartment and my room, and I just have to wash the rest of the dirty dishes and clean Patrick's bowl.

I don't know. It's just been so busy, and there is stuff in my head, but I haven't had time to think about it....

[edit] I have a craving for sushi. Yes.

Do you know?

:: 2007 10 October :: 6.00 am

I have a class soon, and a book I need to read to write a paper that was due yesterday.

Last night, when I was walking back from university band, I stepped on a leaf and it crunched, and I very much enjoyed it.

1 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2007 9 October :: 1.08 pm

Today is nice and calm and blue and a little cloudy, and not at all evil and sticky and gross like the past few days.

I have a feeling, somewhere in me, that I can't put a finger on, but I know it's there. I hate that, not being able to identify what I feel.

I signed my major today. I am officially an English major going for a Bachelor of Science in Education, Secondary Certification degree...thing. I'm going to sign my minor in a few days, I think. I need to get this stuff done, especially since the new bill came out for Higher Education that has some stuff in it about tuition assistance for to-be teachers. I need that! ME! Right here!!

I feel _____ .

What is that blank? I feel....straight line? I feel, underscore? I feel.....blank? White? Spacey? Wiped out?

No. Not really. Sometimes I hate that I only have seventyish years on this planet, and I've already used up about one third of them. What have I done in my one third of a life time? Prepared for the second third, I guess. Is that a waste? I'm not sure. What if the second third ends up being about preparing for the third third...and what if the third third is preparing for death...then am I just living my whole life to die? Always preparing for a moment that will never come. What am I trying to achieve? What is the goal? Yes, to have a job, a car, a house, a family maybe....but...why? To have a stable life for the future? What future? I'm afraid that I will have lived my life constantly trying to over achieve in a world that doesn't notice me.

I have poured my emotions into this text box so many times...

just an observation.

I don't understand how I function. I don't believe that there is an afterlife in the Christian sense of the word. I don't believe in a heaven or a hell...maybe a little waiting room with Cosmo and National Geographic magazines from 1988.

What keeps me from being totally depressed about living a whole life, and then just dying, like i was never here in the first place? How do i not be upset when I waste days doing things that I hate, because I know that I will never get those days back?

I know what the meaning of life is: ______________ .

I am feeling rushed.

4 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2007 5 October :: 12.24 am

I have a communication theory exam tomorrow morning that I'm not prepared for. I have a speech to give on monday that I'm not prepared for. I need to start doing some preparation!

Oh man.

So...I got the brother of the month award, which is pretty awesome, but not so awesome because it doesn't mean anything to anybody but me.

whatever.

I need to go study: relational dialectics! proxemics! symbolic interactionism! oh the horror...

1 think they know | Do you know?

:: 2007 3 October :: 1.54 pm

"Everything will exist, move, separate in a river of change which in that instant will dissolve it, age, and corrupt everything without a single voice to sound the alarm...The sun is burning itself alive, iron is crumbling into dust, aimless energy is dissipating in space, masses are wearing out in radiation, the earth is cooling into death...And you will wait for a mulatto and an animal, to cross the mountain and begin to live, to fill time, execute the steps and gestures of a macabre game in which life will advance as life dies; a dance of madness in which time will devour time and no one alive can halt, the irreversible course of death...The boy, the earth, the universe: in those three, someday there will be no light, no heat, no life...There will be only total, forgotten oneness, nameless, without a man to give it a name: space and time, matter and energy all fused into one....And all things will have the same name...None"

From The Death of Artemio Cruz
by Carlos Fuentes

Do you know?