brutisimo
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2006 29 May :: 8.44pm
Roll a new love over
In the middle of the day there's a young man
Rolling around in the earth and rain
Hey mister if you're going to walk on water, you know
You're only going to walk all over me
Somewhere in middle America
Get right to the heart of matters
It's the heart that matters more
I think you'd better turn your ticket in
And get your money back at the door
i hate missing people, but unfortunately, it is inevitable.
I have given up my new love for an old one....me.
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TaoMan1121
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2006 29 May :: 12.17pm
:: Mood: psyched
:: Music: Lit - Over My Head
This is me trying to make this work.
This is me lifting the clouds.
This is me enjoying summer as soon as it starts.
I'm not going to let everybody enjoy the beach while I sit at home. I'm going to Coney Island today.
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mbenznut
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2006 28 May :: 10.11pm
Eat this meat!
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brutisimo
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2006 27 May :: 10.01am
um, i think i have gone retarded
So i think i have gone reterded, last night was the caddy party and i think...wait i KNOW i made an ass of myself in front of a lot of people from high school. I have been having a lot of social anxiety lately and i have therefore been drinking it away, and last night was no exception. I dont know what is making me all crazy-like when there are people around, but it is like a freakin compulsion to like run away. i need to do better.
I think it is hilarious that brad hated his hair...why did he let me cut it anyway? Well it is good now i guess....why do these boys trust me?
it is frusterating when the one person in the world you trust doesnt see you as the same way, because then little shit can get between you.
i am ecited to go back to the 'zoo and hang out with some people that i have actually seen in the last year...and like hanging uot with....who are not dying...yet.
last night i smoked a cig...no surprise there...but my friends here got all up in arms...there was a creep a leep involved...but that is not the point...one cig is nothing for me...i have done so well...especially lately when i have been hanging out with all these people that smoke all the time...i have only smoked probably 3 cig or cigars in the last month. I dont know how to impress upon them that they really need to not naysay on things they know nothing about. Cigs are bad...i know... i love you guys, but just leave it alone, my life, my lungs...none of you were looking into making out w/ me...AHHHHH Story: the creep a leep had his lighter on a retratctable cord to his pocket....HAHA...
on to better news:
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mbenznut
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2006 27 May :: 2.19am
:: Music: Daddy Yankee: Rompe
"The last time I felt this much power underfoot was my brief but brilliant appearance at the 2004 Dominatrix, Slave and Small Appliance Convention "
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mbenznut
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2006 25 May :: 3.15am
"I think you should get on the tramp again, just to make sure you still suck."
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brutisimo
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2006 24 May :: 11.29pm
Here are the things i am feeling nervous and excited about:
1.) Katie's Party in Caddy on Friday.
2.) Chip is coming to k-zoo on Monday.
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mbenznut
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2006 23 May :: 12.11pm
The National Rifle Association held a large meeting in Rosslyn this weekend and, being a member, I went for part of it.
Any time I go near the NRA, I'm struck by one fact: These folk are, from a crime writer's point of view, the most deadeningly dull, boring, unproductive people on earth. As individuals they're like anyone else, variegated, of both sexes and all ages, from every job and walk of life. Crime-wise, they're a bust. I doubt that in aggregate, even with lying and exaggeration and resume-inflation, they could muster a criminal record to match a good weekend with Ted Kennedy.
They're not just law-abiding. They support the law, disapprove strenuously of crime, believe in personal responsibility, and believe (I don't think I'm misrepresenting them) that criminals ought to be in jail.
Which, if you think about it, is interesting. If you were to believe the mainstream media, you would get the impression that the NRA were, if not criminals themselves, at least somehow responsible for crime--aiders and abettors perhaps. They're not. They're as dangerous as Rotarians.
So why the enormous hostility in some quarters toward the NRA?
Now, people who detest the NRA will tell you that they oppose carnage committed with guns. (Whoopee-doo. Who doesn't?) They want to make the society safe, especially for children and other politically potent symbols. Well, there are at least two ways to reduce the murder rate. One is to get rid of weapons--guns, knives, ball bats, pipes, screwdrivers, straight razors, bricks, feet, and so on. If you could get guns out of the hands of criminals, which you can't, I suspect the murder rate would drop a good bit. It wouldn't come close to going away.
Another way to reduce the crime rate is to enforce the laws. The problem here is that the overwhelming majority of violent crime in Washington is committed by blacks. The anti-gun folk are overwhelmingly Democratic. Both for practical political reasons--the black vote is crucial in presidential elections--and for powerful emotional and ideological reasons, they cannot favor enforcement. The prisons already bulge with blacks.
A third way to reduce crime by blacks might be to put decent schools in black neighborhoods, change the laws to favor marriage, and try to prepare the black downtown population to compete on even terms in what is, after all, a complex society. This would be my approach. I think, though I can't speak for the NRA, that its members would agree. In the long run, no other approach will work.
There are two reasons why the Democrats will not attempt to improve education and encourage stronger families. One is that they obviously don't think blacks are smart enough to succeed. If they did believe it, and did care about blacks, schooling would be their focus. It isn't. Instead they favor cynical condescension swathed in simulated concern.
The other reason is that powerful Democratic constituencies oppose measures that would strengthen black society. Feminists wildly oppose intact families, the teachers unions oppose higher standards for teachers, professional blacks would rage against cultural imperialism. Attempting any practical solution to the ills of blacks would destroy the Democratic party.
However, Democrats (italics) can (close italics) attack legitimate gun-owners and the NRA. These are almost entirely white, mostly male and, I suspect, mostly Republican. The NRA is a safe target. Further, the anti-gun people already hate them, guns aside, as being often of rural roots, conservative, self-reliant, and so on.
Note that legislation proposed by the anti-gun people is not aimed at criminals, but at law-abiding owners of guns. For example, eliminating concealed-carry permits would have no effect on crime, since people who have carry permits have to demonstrate they have no criminal record: they don't commit crime. Criminals will carry concealed anyway. The anti--gun enthusiasts want to disarm the white conservative middle-class chiefly because they dislike them. Guns aren't the issue.
In Washington, ownership of guns is illegal. Does this mean that criminals don't have guns? No. It means that when someone with an unhappy childhood comes through your window at night, you will be helpless. Since he knows this, he will be much more confident in climbing in. I would never suggest, as many wryly have, that, robbery being the principal indigenous industry of Washington, the government doesn't want it hampered by self-defense.
But I might think it in quiet moments.
At bottom, raging against the NRA is a convenient way to divert attention from difficult and very serious social problems. I'm not impressed.
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brutisimo
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2006 23 May :: 11.40am
Jim is SO cute!
The office finale was spectacular, I loved it SO much that now i need to watch it next season. FO SHO.
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TaoMan1121
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2006 23 May :: 11.29am
Still Alive...
Well, that (paper) was relative shite, but at least it's done.
What worries me the most is how far I let myself get out of hand these past few days.
Thanks for putting up with me, Michelle.
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brutisimo
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2006 23 May :: 10.40am
last night adventures were had. there was vodka and knife brandishing and blood ad tears and yelling like whoa. I am going to go eat now, I vove mel, ps.
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TaoMan1121
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2006 22 May :: 7.32pm
this is not a life...
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jedibumblebee
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2006 21 May :: 4.09pm
Go figure. The day before my certification test, I get sicker than I've been in a year.
Grrr....
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brutisimo
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2006 21 May :: 12.10pm
last night i went to the party.
It was very fun. I hung out w/ allison.
Mike had flag eyes...bad news bears.
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jedibumblebee
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2006 19 May :: 7.16pm
oh wow.
i can't even begin to put life into words.
i have been so busy lately that it's not even funny.
getting married in 11 weeks. i'm strangely calm about that.
i am glad that i did things the right way (in my opinion). my parents aren't forbidding our union, i'm not knocked up, i didn't force him into it. i'm a college graduate and i'm gainfully employed (well, for a little while longer at least).
we don't have the wild and crazy, do-anything-for-love, sweep-me-off-my-feet attitude. we have this practical, stable, powerful, but sensible love that is so hard to explain to anyone else. not passionate in spontanaeity, but passionate in its strength.
so i am calm. because i believe that i know what our future holds.
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brutisimo
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2006 18 May :: 2.07pm
One Tree Hill made the cut...ITS COmING BACK!!!!
thanks for your help guys...
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TaoMan1121
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2006 17 May :: 12.37am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Tom Petty - It's Good To Be King
Why?? How??
mbenznut (11:40:20 PM): Fuck, Fuck, Shit, Fuck!
TaoMan1121 (11:40:28 PM): whore, slut, cunt!
mbenznut (11:40:33 PM): Mmmm.
TaoMan1121 (11:40:37 PM): lol
mbenznut (11:41:01 PM): As long as it's a man cunt that is.
"He’s manufacturing responsibility, not maturing." House
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TaoMan1121
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2006 15 May :: 2.10pm
:: Music: Pixies - Hey
BOTB XII
50) Mary Elizabeth McGlynn - You're Not Here
49) Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor
48) Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - The Charging Sky
47) Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Gold Lion
46) Sigur Rós - Hoppípolla
45) We Are Scientists - Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt
44) Death Cab for Cutie - Marching Bands of Manhattan
43) Sun Kil Moon - Neverending Math Equation
42) Scissor Sisters - Tits on the Radio
41) Mates of State - Starman
40) Bruce Springsteen - Devils & Dust
39) Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
38) Beck - Broken Drum
37) Bright Eyes - Train Under Water
36) Green Day - Jesus of Suburbia Medley
35) Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
34) The Killers - Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll
33) Johnny Cash - Ring of Fire
32) Fiona Apple - Tymps (The Sick in the Head Song)
31) Vertical Horizon - Give You Back
30) The Reindeer Section - You Are My Joy
29) Modest Mouse - All Night Diner
28) Wilco - Spiders (Kidsmoke)
27) Eels - Hey Man (Now You're Really Living)
26) David Gray - Ain't No Love
25) Johnathan Rice - Kiss Me Goodbye
24) Snow Patrol - Hands Open
23) Bright Eyes - Hit The Switch
22) Jeff Buckely - Last Goodbye
21) Nine Inch Nails - Only
20) Foo Fighters - Best of You
19) Augustana - Hotel Roosevelt
18) Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict a Riot
17) Kanye West - Gold Digger
16) Snow Patrol - Run
15) The White Stripes - My Doorbell
14) David Gray - Freedom
13) Frou Frou - Let Go
12) Hot Hot Heat - Middle of Nowhere
11) Fiona Apple - Parting Gift
10) Barenaked Ladies - War on Drugs
9) Snow Patrol - Chocolate
8) David Gray - The One I Love
7) The Killers - All These Things That I've Done
6) Coldplay - Fix You
5) Sufjan Stevens - Chicago
4) My Morning Jacket - Off The Record
3) Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies)
2) Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
1) Imogen Heap - Hide & Seek
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brutisimo
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2006 15 May :: 1.15pm
:: Music: The sound of my Indian Lab instructor droning about Stupid Computer Shit.
I hate this class, and other useless rants.
I hate this class, it is so tedious and boring. We learned how to use our broncomail accounts.Arg a larg. I had to answer questions like how do you reply to an email someone has sent you? YOU HIT REPLY AND THEN TYPE YOUR REPLY AND HIT SEND!!!!
ANyWay...
This weekend was fun. I got all my moms flowers and dropped them off, then went to the Davis' where Brad's dinner of choice was Chinese. Mmmmm. Kenz was there too, so i sat next to Brad and let her sit next to Ryan. I find it funny that for Brad's b-day he had none of his freinds and 2 of ryans. ph well. then we opened presents and had cheesebake and brownies and icecream. Ryan brought his dartboard from his apt and mike, ryan kenz and i went out and played for a REALLY long time cuz brad's friend Kyle turned up, but then Kyle's annoying girlfriend showed up too, and Brad and Mrs. Davis came out to play darts too, but Vicki had taken 2 sleeping pills so she was not very good. Brad got his friends to leave and she went to bed and kenz didnt want to play anymore, so the 3 boys and i played for a while, then we went inside and i trimmed brad's hair (WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!?!?) then i went back tothe G&G. NExt morn we went out to the cottage and i got to spend time w/ the fam. I have a list of things to look into @ kohls, and i had some great convos w/ the cuzs.
Last night GRey's Anatromy was CRAZE. I was at the G&G and i was so riled i actually threw the magazine i was reading on commercials, and i was YELLING at the TV. it was ridic. I drove back to the zoo today and i am very tired but must now do some comp hdub and then work tonight. WOOt.
I am excited to hang out w/ my girls this week. I MISSED YOU RICCI!
I am going to CAddy the 26&27 for a b-day party that will eb a blast from the past. Anne, KEnz and Ryan will all be in attendence, and i am EXCITED. Im so excited....Im so excited...*hums a little tune* *person next to her in lab looks annoyed* *JUDGiNG*
ANYWAY!!!
2 more little tidbits:
1. I am hakin indian costumes this summer....sewing them....eeee
2. We had a photoshoot in the park and the pics are gonna be amazing, i will let youknow when they are one facebook....
GOODBYE
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TaoMan1121
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2006 14 May :: 11.55am
:: Mood: playful
:: Music: Akira Yamaoka - Laura Plays the Piano
I'm going to start being a little more liberal with Woohu again. I keep thinking I have to have something to say to come on here, forgetting the therapeutic value of just writing, whatever the topic may be. That said:
Leeder, I have some bad news. Looks like the Nellie McKay situation has went from bad to worse. Turns out she just recently died of colon cancer...
Nellie McKay is dead. Long live Nellie McKay.
Read more..
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TaoMan1121
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2006 13 May :: 10.36pm
:: Music: Dire Straits - Calling Elvis
Last 10 Films of the Year
2005 - Munich
2004 - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2003 - Lost In Translation
2002 - LOTR: The Two Towers
2001 - The Royal Tenenbaums
2000 - Gladiator
1999 - American Beauty
1998 - The Truman Show
1997 - L.A. Confidential
1996 - Star Trek: First Contact
(I'm as surprised by '96 as you are... bunch of shite out that year. Sorry, I am not a fan of gravel Braveheart.)
New layout. If it looks like it works...
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TaoMan1121
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2006 12 May :: 10.50am
:: Mood: spiked
:: Music: Creed - Hide
More (Empty) Woohu Promises
NO!! BEBE'S HURTING!! I MUST FIX HER!! UUUUUUGGH!! (<-- that's the sound of me fixing, by the way)
I'm almost down to 4000 unplayed songs in my iTunes library, and when I say "almost" I mean I still have 53 songs left to go.
Woohu-related things under construction today:
- Another (non-flailing arms) entry
- New layout
'Til then, enjoy this link. Chew it, digest it, poop it out. Do whatever you want with it, it's yours now! #8.5, #3, and #1 are my favorite.
10 Least Essential Summer Films
Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner. Brett Ratner.
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mbenznut
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2006 11 May :: 8.14pm
Cock: the REAL breakfast of champions.
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mbenznut
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2006 10 May :: 10.38pm
goddamnit, you have to establish the acronym before you start using it, whore
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TaoMan1121
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2006 10 May :: 11.24pm
:: Mood: tense
:: Music: Arcade Fire - Crown of Love
Ahh, christ... this is one of those times I complain about there not being enough hours in the day. There's so much I want to do, both school and personal related. For example, I am SO itching for a new layout.
Third presentation of the week tomorrow. In terms of developing my public speaking skills, it could be a big one.
Suppose I'll head to bed now, continue my recent trend of getting up surprisingly early.
Lost... was is... wow.
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brutisimo
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2006 10 May :: 12.22am
Old entry
Well, here you go. myfirst one was stupid, but here is something that made me laugh:
:: 2003 21 October :: 1.18 am
:: Mood: better
:: Music: none...watchin Briget Jones though...
[ edit | delete ]
Alright, so i am really sorry if i worried anyone with my last entry or my MSN name...i was having a breakdown and i REALLY just needed ryan...fortunately, he was there for me like he promised he always will be. We talked for like over an hour and i only cried three times and i only hung up on him once...that doesnt sound good, but it was better than i had expected...I am just so lost and i have trust issues and control issues and people walking all over me issues...basically i have a lot of issues and ryan really helps me put things in perspective...i may miss him or get mad at him a lot...but i dont know what i would do without him either...i guess it is a case of you cant live with em and you cant live without em...
Her are my new goals...
1. Think about ME more
2. Tell people what i am thinking
3. Stop falling for the wrong guys
4. Stop trying to contol things so much
5. stop being so scared of getting close to people
6. Stop being afraid of being alone
7. Don't push people away
8. Don't let things build up
9. Stop worrying what other people think so much
10. Relax
instead of doing what i would normally do which is stay up late and get nothing done, and feel like crap, i think i am going to go to bed...it is very draining to have a breakdown...I thank my lucky stars i have ryan, or else i dont know where i would be right now...i heart you Ryan!!!
I called ryan cuz it made me feel like it (duh) and he laughed. I like that even after all the drama he is still my boy.
i am excited about brad's b-day party this weekend. I miss those crazy davis boys. I LOVE THE DAVIS FAMILY! I think i need to marry into it. hmmm...who shoudl i chose...
I am sick and need to sleep now. NIGHT
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brutisimo
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2006 9 May :: 1.47pm
ONE TREE HILL WON!!! The new CW schedule doesnt get announced til the 18th though. Cross your fingers!
P.S. BT is hetero
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brutisimo
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2006 8 May :: 12.32am
sometimes hope springs from the least likely of places. tonight my friends all had other things they were up to, and i was bummed because i couldnt find anyone to go to Monaco w/ me. Then i watched GReys anatomy and decided i had to give Piano guy-tim the cd i said i would make. Now of corse to was slightly awkward and sad to go to the bar alone, but it ended up that i had a good time. I drank a drink and listened to some music and the bartended was really funny w/ all the drunkards. then when i was leaving, i went onto the stage and the first thing Tim said was "where's my cd?' HE totally remembered me, and he was super excited about the cd. he sat and read the playlist and then thanked me. it was sort of surreal. In a night when i felt completely forgotten, a stranger made me feel worthwhile. I can't wait to go hear him play one of my songs.
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mbenznut
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2006 7 May :: 3.26pm
Circuit City is wonderful. I want to ram Best Buy up the ass.
Today’s purchases:
Sleepy Hollow
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Batman Begins
Fantastic 4
Long Kiss Goodnight
We Were Soldiers
Paper Mario (only $15!)
Two Porsche posters
Porsche T-shirt
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