Megan's Journal

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Megan's Journal

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:: 2005 20 July :: 12.57am

Hey everyone, well as you know i'm moved to Tennessee now, and i'm likin it but i have no friends and so i'm kinda waitin for school to start, which is aug 8th, so yeah, and I miss everyone a lot, i've cried 4 times in the 3 weeks we've been there, its really friggen hard esp cuz i miss my sister so much, god this is hard, but i have my room all nice and settled how i want it, and a lot has happened but its to much, i will say we go to this pool and the lifegaurd there is friggen hott! he is a senior at my school, woot go me, haha, had a taco bell guy hit on me that was a lil weird but he was a pimp he was smackin other girls azz and kissin others it was funny, but yeah anyways i will ttyl later, i wont be able to update often we wont have the internet, and i know i'm up here now but i'm only here for a whole day, so sorry if i cant see you my main priority is my lil sister, i really wanna see all of you but i cant, I LOVE YOU, if yall wanna call me *haha there goes the accent already, jk!* my number is (423)-949-9443 call me!

:: 2005 15 July :: 5.51pm

i think i'm growing.

3 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 29 June :: 4.25pm

Dani Lauer's Open House was totally rockin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

totoot toot tooot ttooooooootttt tooooottttttt

I wish Kathy was my mommmmmmmm!!!!!!1

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr\

totototottoootooooottttttttt

toot!

1 werd | leave werds

:: 2005 21 June :: 4.30pm

Floating and fighting, like a kite on a string
Till you cut through my tether and changed everything
From the sky you looked small, but I loved you the same
So I darted back quickly to spell out your name
And when they say that I'm just a terrible kite
You'll tell them you're proud of my loveless flight

:: 2005 15 June :: 8.33pm

oh gody god

it can't even be possible. but you know. it would be hilarious in a very sad way.

but not really. it would be the more horrible thing. EVER.

i can't hide. and. oh. i have to be something.

i won't be the girl from cedar springs.

3 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 11 June :: 9.56pm
:: Music: vertical horizon-the best i've ever had

So things are cool. . .

My mom and I are getting along. Here's the trick. I make it seem like I'm busy and I run around for her a lot and talk to her and she seems to leave me alone. And it's not so bad. She's just lonely I think.

Jake and I have stopped fighting. and things are just very nice nice nice.

My open house is tomorrow which means some money for some things.

I have a roomate who is not crazy and she knows my stepsister

aaron is gone

my car is working

it rained a little bit

i have bangs

someone noticed my very intense eyes

i'm not sad about band camp or school or anything

i don't have anemia, lukemia or mono. i just need to eat more meat.

i signed up for my classes

i'm not being a bad babysitter for the most part

so here's the usual vagueness

today is the anniversary of your death and
i celebrate
with
enthusiasm
i will bury you with
duct tape

thank you
thank you
thank you

for closing the door
no
slamming
abrupt
and throwing the deadbolt

and while i pounded
until my
fists were bloody
all over the unwelcome mat

then YOU crawled through the window
and
i wasn't disapointed

gush

8 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 7 June :: 7.29pm

Well i'm at autumns right now, just to tell yall i'm movin in 2 weeks and dont have much more time to hang out with anyone, cuz ill be packin :( sadness i know, anyways, i wont be updating much, not the i ever do cuz my dad took the cable modum away :( more sadness, well i g2g byes!

:: 2005 3 June :: 9.51am
:: Music: fallout boy-grand theft autunm

I am going to lose it. Not even joking.

I thought things were going really good. I just graduated, I have cool friends, everything is pretty great on the boyfriend front and I thought my mother finally calmed down.

But no. Underneath all of that niceness she's harboring her bullshit. I can't even describe it that's how completely stupid everything is. I guess she expects me to spend my whole summer vacation cleaning. That's not happening. I do my chores. I do what she asks me. I drive A-ron around. I only ask her for money when it's totally nessesary. I try to whine less and I don't talk about how I don't love Jesus. I did my invitations. I'm working on the picture thing for my open house.I'm even trying to organize all the photos so we can be a happy family again.

I don't get it.

and the job thing. I've applied at Great Day, D&W, Meijer, Arbys, Tractor Supply, Movie Gallery, Kohls (twice) Debs, Rue 21, Shulers, and I don't know where else. I've picked up applications to like everywhere in Cedar.

Everyone MIGHT be looking at apps in a few weeks. So I go in or call to see how that's going. Oh, still looking. They'll call me. Not.

Arbys says my availitbilyt sucks even though I can work weekends and every day of the week, just not during the day on Monday and Tuesday.

Meijer? Who knows.

Bath and Body Works wasn't interested.

To work part time at Kohls you have to have open availability and I was willing to give up babysittting to do that. But now they're not hiring.

What the deal? Seriously. I'm qualified and I like working.

And I'm getting better. I go to the therepy. I take the medicine. I do breathing. I go into crowds and I try not to flip out. I didn't even cry when she yelled at me last night.

I don't want to live with my dad. I don't want to have two transitions this summer. But is that my only option? I don't want to punish my mother. I love her and everything she does. But why can't she relax and just accept who I am, an absentminded procrastinator? I seem to manage don't I?

Or maybe I'm missing something and I'm the bad one. I'm lazy and selfish and demanding.

oh my.

5 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 29 May :: 2.35pm

Open House
June 12th
1-5pm
636-4135
call for directions!

:: 2005 24 May :: 8.30pm

Well 27 days left, and 4 days of school *sighs* this really depresses me...well if anyone wants to hang out with me b4 i go leave a comment, er call me 696-2032. *hugs all* byes....

2 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 15 May :: 3.30pm
:: Music: Motion City Soundtrack - Don't Call it a Comeback

Well, I haven't updated this bad boy in awhile. Lots of memories here. I just went back and looked at my old posts...man I was dumb. But I know eventually I'll go back and look at my new ones and think the same. Such is growing up, being able to look back on how dumb you once were.

1 werd | leave werds

:: 2005 14 May :: 3.57pm

SO i havent updated in here in a long while. I only have about 35 days left before I move, I'm really excited, but really not at the same time ya know? *sighs* i'm gonna miss my friends and Jordyn *my lil sis* so much, but maybe ill be back in the future, who knows, Anyways, I will talk to you all laters.

:: 2005 2 April :: 12.26am

yeah so thats my sister and i, I'm gonna miss her when i move :(

:: 2005 14 March :: 9.16pm

you know you love it.

1 werd | leave werds

:: 2005 13 March :: 4.00pm

Well On saturday my mom came and got my sisters and i and we found out she has temporary custody of jordyn, and why she did. I guess that Jacks *jordyns dad* sister wrote my mom a letter sayin that jack had been cought by her, sexually abusing her neices and nephews when they were younger, and my mom and aunt took that right to the lawyer and now he cant see her till after the court date, which is in april on the 10th, I couldnt beleive that, when she said that, my mouth dropped to the floor, and i guess on friday when my mom got her from jack that jordyn had a blood blister on her hand and my mom was like *hun what is that from* and she goes *well i wanted to call sisy's and you, and when you called i knew it was you, so i went to pick up the phone and he slammed the phone down on my hand* I wanna kick jacks ass SOO bad right now... but yeah, so i'm really glad i got to see her though, and i got a lot of pics of her with my camera. but anywho I'm doin alright dads here, and so yeah...well i think thats it...ttyl!

I LOVE YOU JORDYN!

Oh and my mom and aunt are takin jordyn to the doc to see if he did anything to her, and she is goin to see a counseler

:: 2005 11 March :: 5.44pm

Ever feel like your in a strange mood where your not happy, but your not sad either? thats how i feel for some odd reason....i feel like this a lot of times. *shrugs shoulders* oh well.

:: 2005 6 March :: 1.30pm

Who Hates Anonymous People? I do. Cuz they are immature when they argue an say stupid shit, but are to afraid to admit who they are. Whatever.

:: 2005 27 February :: 5.32pm

WOOOOT!
SO my party was FLIPPEN AWESOME! *gets excited feeling in tummy* Yeah it was really awesome lets see ppl who showed up: My Katie Bear, Kevin Runyan, Monica, Autumn Silvers, Danielle Pinney, Amanda Maxwell, Kevin and Kelli Schuitman, Amanda Smith, Rob Shivley, Cassie Jenkins , some random Ryan guy, Danielles bf, and yeah i think that is it, but it was tons of fun, we talked, listen to music, ate, video taped ppl and that was VERY interesting, we all watched NEPOLEAN DYNAMITE, White Castle, and Saw, all good movies for really, saw it just, well, CREEPY! anywho i got flowers from my danielle and i felt loved, i LOVED THEM, and i got new pj pants from My katie bear :D:D and make up which is flippen awewsome, i got money from Amanda Maxwell, Rob gave me a card and supposivly an IOU coming *lmao* yeah anyways, so i totally felt loved at my party *woot go me* Me, Katie, N Autumn stayed up alll night long and watched everyone sleep, hehe yeah and took pics, lmao, and then that was at like 630 am, and then autumn fell asleep on us, so yeah me and katie stayed up, then everyone was gone and i was asleep for 30 mins, and my bro woke me up and was like lets get ready to go, we had to get Janets tanning bed, and kitchen tables and stuff so yeah we did that and now I'mhere and I'm flippen Tired GOSH!

Quotes that stuck to me: *Your a Flippen Idiot GOSH!*

*Well i'm tryin to do that impression of her, but i'm Humping you.*

*Your Sliding down my Mount Everest's*

*I love you*

*WOOOOOOOOO!!!*

*We should show this in 6th hour, we'd be the only one's laughing MWAHAHAHA*

*We must We must We must increase our bust for fear for fear our boobs will disappear the bigger the better the tighter the sweater we must we must we must increase our bust.*

*Heather is flippen awesome*

*Katie Is Loved*

* Me :OMG I have always wanted an I am loved Pin!! Rachael: A what pin?? Me: a I am loved Pin! Katie: awww!*

*why are you so sweaty? Because i was practicing. Practicing what? Dancing, (drinks drink)*

So I had fun I hope all who went did and thanks for goin!!!

I LOVE YOU! *Muah, Hugs*

:: 2005 26 February :: 9.55am

Well Havent been able to get on here long enough to say anything so here is my chance, TODAY IS MY FUCKIN PARTY AND ITS GONNA ROCK YOUR DAMNED SOCKS RIGHT OFF YOUR DAMNED FEET!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!! haha not really but it will still rock cuz i'm hott and i'm gonna be there and you all love me cuz i'm awesome like that, :D!

anyways been babysittin every flippen day of this weekend and i had to stay the night there on thursday night that sucked cuz desere was being a lil brat so i had her up in a room like all night, but its ok cuz i'm mean like that to her and she deserved it! Yeah you dont want me as your babysitter *sly grin on face* hahah jk im only mean when the kid disrespects me so yeah, anywho uhhhhh I've pretty much given up on guys i'm just gonna wait and go to Tennessee and see what i can catch on the hook down there :D I'm so nice, but yeah so i guess that is all i have for now....OH WAIT there is this, I fuckin hate jack with a passion he didnt let us see jordyn cuz *he wanted to take her to a movie* you know what jack Fuck u and go suck a dick she coulda seen a movie anyother day but it had to be our day...grr to you.

:: 2005 20 February :: 7.07pm

maan i was soo mad, i got the flu the day of my party so i had to cancel it :(:(:( anywho i'm better now and thats all that matters so my party is next weekend on saturday @ 5 pm so be there if i invited you last time that is hahahhaa byes

:: 2005 16 February :: 8.17pm

Tomorrow is Heather's 18th bday but by the time you see this it will pry be today lol *hip hip hooray hip hip hooray!!!* *balloons go flyin in the air* ok i'm done. Byes.

1 werd | leave werds

:: 2005 15 February :: 7.58pm

well this weekend is my party and i cant wait :D:D *gets excited*
But there is something i been down about, do you ever get the feelin where you feel like everything has fallen into place and its like all gonna be ok again? well i got that, but then it seems like a day later that the damn bomb drops and i have to try and make it all better again. Like for example ive been seeing my mom and dad was up here, and found out janet and dad are gettin married and that is all awesome, but the bad thing is, i have to move to tennessee, at the end of the year, all the family is gonna be up here my lil sister, my mom, my friends, Everything. and now i have to be so far away where i cant even see them again. for a while anyways. well i think thats all i had to get that off my chest.
ttyl
Heather

:: 2005 10 February :: 6.15pm

War In Soviet Union
~ Hitler wanted Living Space for Germany.
~He broke his pact with ________ and attacked The Soviet Union.
~In _____ Germany poured across the length of the Soviet boarder from the Baltic Sea to the Black sea.

~Three million _____ ______ soldiers were poorly equipped and not trained well.
~_________ Troops began rounding up large numbers of civilians.
~Soviet adopted a ________ earth policy; destroying everything useful to the enemies they retreated.

~Stalin asked ________ for help through the ______ ______ _______ but congress declined the request.

~American ____ didn�t flow through until 1942.
~German armies ________ major cities deep inside the Soviet Union.
~Stalin wanted his _______ to launch attack on Western Europe to take pressure off the Soviet Unions red army by forcing _______ to divide his forces.

~The Red Army decided to make stand at __________ (industrial railroad center).

~In September 1942 the Germans began a campaign of ________ and ________ that lasted more than two months.

~In November Soviet Union took advantage of the harsh Russian weather and surrounded the German Army.

:: 2005 7 February :: 10.02am

it's not a handicap, it makes me feel safer.

i'm pissed.

and if it wouldn't be weird i'd crawl under the desk right now.

2 werdz | leave werds

:: 2005 2 February :: 5.10pm

funny card
Moneys short Times are hard, heres your fuckin christmas card:
It was the night b4 christmas and all throught the house everybody felt shitty,
even the mouse,
Mom at the whore house
dads smoking grass I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter
out on the lawn i saw a big dick
i knew in a moment it must be saint nick,
He came down the chimmey like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment the fucker had fell
he filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer
He rose up the chimmey with a thunderous fart
the son of a bitch blew my chimmey apart
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight piss on you all and have a hell of a good night!

Ha i thought it was funny. :D

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