tails
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2005 24 May :: 1.31pm
:: Music: Frou Frou - Breath In
HOnors SHIT
Yeah honors banquet and shiznatzil tonight dude lets all have fun being stupid and getting really shitty awards YAY!!!
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tails
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2005 22 May :: 12.34am
k edit. im not cutting the hair. im getting it trimmed and ill attempt to buy a good beanie so i can wear it when i drive and when i take it off my hair wont be all ugly as fuck. well there you go kids. (i only keep it cause the ladies, and emily, love it so much)
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tails
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2005 21 May :: 4.29pm
:: Music: The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone
IM DONE!!!
Its over with. i cant stand this fucking hair anymore. its in my eyes all the time while im driving so i almost kill myself and all the people with me in the car, and im a good driver so imagine how great a driver ill be when i can actually see....plus i look FUCKING GAY when i do that stupid hair flip to get it out of my eyes. I KNOW i look gay and i cant help it, the hair flip became such a habit and well it make look good like this but its too long and too much. At this point i am so annoyed by it i dont care if i look like a fucking d bag i just want it gone. GONE GONE GONE GONE>.< so im gettting it cut off. what do you think?
7 found the love |
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m&ms487
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2005 21 May :: 11.13am
I have work in a few hours.
I spent the night up at the lake. It's so odd how everyone has changed, yet it seems like it was just yesterday we were playing flashlight tag in the pine woods.......
Work tomorrow, then concert an hour after that.
Hmm.
We are in the midsts of summer. Green is wonderful. I hate sunburns.
Happy Saturday.
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tails
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2005 18 May :: 3.04pm
:: Music: Vitamin C (cause its cheezy)
Open Hizouse Bitches
MY OPEN HOUZE IS ON JUNE 25TH AT 2:00PM UNTIL ??? (THATS RISKY THE QUESTON MARKS COULD MEAN ANYTHING WOOOO GO WILD BITCH!!!) ANYWAY YOU ARE ALL INVITED COME GIVE ME MONEYS AND SAY HI OR JUST SAY HI WHATEVER. LOL I LOVE YOU ALL AND CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU THERE ITS AT MY HOUSE
JUNE 25TH 2:OOPM-???
5 found the love |
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tails
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2005 17 May :: 5.22pm
Ok so highschool is over...what the fuck i dont even feel any different. and i didnt cry at all. is something wrong with me? i dont feel different at all im not happy im not sad and i didnt feel a speck of emotion at all after school...somethings wrong.
6 found the love |
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tails
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2005 16 May :: 8.17pm
:: Music: Mozart - Moonlight Sonata
Read
My brain is fucking twitching. i could barley stand up today. i just wanted to fall over and pass out. not die (im not that emo). i cant stand what he says to me, how he feels about me and how he treats me. i deserve enough respect to at least be seen as a semi equal right? i mean he dosent have to say "all you fucking do is sit on your fat fucking ass and do nothing you waste of space" was that all nesscary to tell me that i fucked up by not getting my scholarship info in on time? i mean im not that bad a person i mean there are still some scholarships out there and most of the dead lines arent till july im not going to be fucked. and those finacial aid people should really hurry up. and please dear god let the colleges stop calling me and telling me how perfect they are for me and then telling me the tuition...i can afford that. my parents are rich and retired. my elders arent giving me some thousands of dollars for no reason. i have nothing (like most of you) but i can barely afford junior college which makes me think that im not good enough to go to a real college. so i doubt my purpose and think i might as well just stay in this shit hole town and state forever cause im not good enough to get the things i want in life. im to fucking fat and stupid to even get a job that i might enjoying waking up to. i mean thats what life is. a cycle of hating what you do and the people around you until you get two days of break in which you spend the 6 dollars of your paycheck you have left after you pay for insurance and utilites and rent and food and gas. and then you cry to yourself about how shitty your life is and they say the only way to have a nice life is to spend all your money on school so that after you leave it you can spend the rest of your life paying off your debt to the schools. but wont you feel comfy in a job you like getting up for and spending every extra cent on debt? thats perfection. so is working minimum wage to support an apartment and a drug habit. choose your path youll be fucking happy either way right? fuck me and my life. fuck this all. if you read all this then you have a heart and thank you. god i just needed to say all this and just let you know how much i want to be a little kid i want to just have fun this summer i want to relax and go to my shitty job and spend all my money on gas and then bitch about being broke. but im expected to spend EVERY moment that im not in work filling out financial aid shit and scholarship junk and writing essays about rice patties and shit that dosent even make sence to me at all. i want to move out caus i hate him but i cant cause he wont let me cause he knows i cant support myself and he knows ill fucking die. let me fail i know i will but let me fucking allow me to fuck up and make my own mistakes jesus christ ok you fucked up your life and shit let me fuck myne up damn. im not ryan SORRY im not my brother and that makes him so damn mad. i know it does it just pisses him off so fucking much that im not like them. god does it ever. goodbye.
5 found the love |
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tails
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2005 15 May :: 1.42am
:: Music: Alien Ant Farm - Glow
Love Is What You Need
Every time i get near you i think... i need to hate you but god i still see you as perfect.
Im moving on without leaving, grcc is my new highschool, but ill still be in town.
New friends and new lights to look forward too, and the fading of other pilots i already knew.
Just love me one night. thats all i want. just one night where i can hold your hang and have it mean more than friends. just one smile and a deep stare into your eyes that makes me feel so fucking good i smile without realizing it and even cry a little. just once.
5 found the love |
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m&ms487
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2005 13 May :: 6.21pm
:: Mood: awake
I just don't know quite what to say. I'm afraid that humanity has sunk to a new low.
"He didn't know what he was doing! How could he have known it was dangerous?"
Well then I suppose that is proof of Americans not instilling the importance of education in their children. He's not stupid. We all know that, but what he did was stupid. Because of ignorance, a lack of education, which was readily available, yet overlooked, he inconvienced thousands of people. Hundreds of people are mad. They have the right to be. They want to place the blame on him. It is his fault, yes, and I'm not even defending him to the least bit because I think he knew, to some degree, what he was doing.
But at some point you have to ask yourself, why didn't he know it was dangerous? Who's to blame for that?
Another quite heated situation at school, election. I believe I voted for the right people. They will do what needs to be done. If you didn't win, then you didn't do your job good enough to be reelected. If they fail, so be it, it's only high school. It's not like they can take us to war with another country, or have the power to kill thousands of people.
They have control over our senior year, yes. But guess what, it's only a year, actually less. I bet you won't even remember what the theme to homecomming was in fourty years.
It's very green outside today. I like it.
2 found the love |
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tails
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2005 11 May :: 11.47pm
You are going to die. so when you die will you be happy with what you left behind or be pissed about what you cant bring with you? will you go to heaven or hell. will you rot in the ground with no thought of an afterlife. do you simply stop? is it all over? i mean there COULD be something after this couldnt there? what do you think happens when you die?
5 found the love |
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m&ms487
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2005 8 May :: 8.30pm
I don't know what's going on tomorrow. The ap test is tuesday morning. I have this feeling inside my stomach that is telling me I'm going to fail. Hmm.
My parents are watching a show about cows. Seriously. It's about cows.
My cousins are really stupid. I think I lose brain cells everytime I'm around them.
I'm sad and tired. And I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow about cooking and whatnot.
I don't understand why some people bother talking to me when I'm blatantly ignoring them. It really confuses me. They keep on talking. Shut the fuck up, enough is enough.
2 found the love |
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tails
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2005 4 May :: 10.36pm
i understand that i made alot of bad choices and big ass mistakes. but im fixing it all ok. im sorry and i really do honestly understand what ive done wrong. i mean i was naive and refused to accept the fact that things change in the world. nothing ever stays the same or perfect so. im sorry and ill be fixing everything if you will open your ears and hearts and please just understand how much i really love all of you ive hurt.
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tails
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2005 3 May :: 10.59pm
...got it.no more hugs no more i love yous no more mean words even in a joke no more touching of any kind. and im good right? is that all it takes?
3 found the love |
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m&ms487
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2005 1 May :: 6.49pm
This is the hardest part. Resistance.
It's going to be one hell of a week. Fine Arts Night, Flute choir concert, studying for the AP chem test, Rueben's birthday, dinner.....blah blah blah.
It all just has to happen in one week, doesn't it?
2 found the love |
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sputnik
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2005 29 April :: 11.36am
To Agree- or not agree
You know... English is probably the worst subject ever.
The teacher asks you to read a poem or story.
Analyze the information. Identify the theme.
You examine the story and share your results.
She nods and tells you she sees how you got that and it makes sense- but you're wrong.
Anyways- I give up.
1 found the love |
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