mizprettyinpink
|
::
2004 28 January :: 7.38pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: parent screaming ... its a new album just released called laurens life
sorry i havent written for a while, my computer got a virus and i didnt have a computer for a long time because it was getting fixed. god im so mad!!!!!!! ok i had plans and well now i dont because my grandma has to stay over because my parents are going to be out of town and grrr! and i really gay god i think everyone is out to get me just lately i really do think everyone is watching me on their home telivision! they have a telivision with a lauren channel and just when things go ight the rush over and screw them up! and so if you ever hear me excited about little things its because i dont get many little good things i have many big good things that i might not see because i take advantage of them but when i do see them i get excited and then i tell people and they shoot me down and im just so frustrated! and i kinda like this guy but i can never talk to this guy or hang around with him because of this other amazingly selfish rude mean heartless guy that i swear trys to ruin my day! and i dunno guys im just so sick everything just seems so overwhelmingly screwed up and like some decisions my parents make are just so stupid and so gay its just unbelievable! grrr! well enough of my pitty party i gotta go ttyl bye
Fell
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 27 January :: 10.20pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: lalalallla im actually singing hehe
you know i realized something that no matter how hard you think a situation is... if you stay strong and hold on.. in the end the rewards are always great! last night was intense.. yelling and screaming especailly in my family (ask ashey she was on the phone) and wow this morining i got up and went to school and got good grades yay lol umm we had a doge ball game and it was fun to hang out with all my friends there!! i came home and i did all my work and studied and everything and me and brittnay teamed up and we tried to help some people but 1 listened and one didnt.. idk what else to do though sooo i let it go thats all i can do anyway i guess today i relized i got stronger thanks to my friends and all the support i got! people now in my school said i changed in a few weeks time by like now i speak my mind and i talk more and i participate in converstaion yay!! so thats good and i think i am over him!! i hope so i really do! i know why i may be too its a good reason haha
(listen to the evanescence song.. "everybodys fool")
but i am happy and its like after all the pain and struggle the cloudiness and rain you see the sun come out again!! ok bye lol
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 25 January :: 10.55pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: Suga Suga
today was the kind of day where you are still hurt by the night before. i woke up in the afternoon sometime. than steph called and told me she was coming over to pick me up and take me out bc she wanted to talk to me. so we talked and we were out until like 6 and we talked alot and just drove around stopped a few times than kept going when i came home my parents started to kind of be all blah towards me and it put me into an even worse mood. i kind of had a reflection of whats going on and stuff.. and i relized that i have alot of unsaid secrets. i intend to keep them to myself so dont try to drag them out. so i started to cry... bc i want to let them out but i dont know who to turn to right now. you see the reason being is bc i trusted some people and they turn around and backstab me and idk how much more of all this i can take. NOT TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD FOR ME but the past freaking 2 MONTHS sucked! i want to tell people everything BUT IDK WHO TO TURN TO thats why i am always depressed thats why i always cry! BECAUSE I HAVE BOTTLED UP EMOTIONS and i cant.. UNBOTTLE THEM!! other reasons add but thats the main one
3 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 24 January :: 11.39pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: TV in the other room
today was pretty basic.. upset all day go to a party and get even more upset there bc everyone else was upset and i got even more upset idk today wasnt a be happy kind of day
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 24 January :: 11.45pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: SLOW JAMZ LOL
i like this poem its sweet
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the
refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me
and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew
there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a
friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money
to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something
should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and
everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your
responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I
learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be
everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say,
"Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."
1 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 23 January :: 11.55pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Tv.. its a girl that sounds like a guy? i think
today was cool school was fun... tutorial was even better with joy and cynthia! wow that was soooo funny you had to be there! well after my dad went to a sailboat place so i sat there like lalala i wernt home got all prepared than meana came over! we chillaxed and watched movies than stephanie came and picked us up with people and we went to mc donalds than just stayed in the parking lot and talked and than went home! it was a great girls night out! i didnt feel upset or anything tonight i just felt normal and i didnt realize my emotions so that was good... i was just quiet i mean i wasnt hyper or depressed i was just normal! and plus i had allergys so i sniffled and wiped my eyes alot so occasionally ppl thought i was crying, but i was not. ok well i am tired and getting grumpy sooo i am going to go to bed!! mwaaaaaaaaaa
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 22 January :: 11.54pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: meana she called me!!!!!!!
today was fun at school and i came home and i was in a good mood and now even better bc meana called me and it ment alot bc she has faith in me!! and she believes in me and MEANA I LOVE YOU MWA haha umm well im going to go.. bc nothing happened today except i listened to brianne and amber yell all day and say stuff about eachother and i was like yeah... i dont care but i think its dumb that u guys are fighting!! okkk bye bye haha
3 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 21 January :: 11.04pm
:: Mood: hopeless/ depressed
:: Music: the tv in the other room
TO MY FRIENDS
DONT READ THIS IF YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME, MY FRIENDS OR M INSIDE JOKES!! YOU BEEN WARNED -hmm well its been a fun last 2 days school i mean when i got home its been the same thing... basically get all upset over the same person for the same reson (<3) yepp... i like a kid and i never really stopped but you ned to tell me who it is bc im not sying anything else bc im all scared of letting people know and i never ment to tell him it just came out... anyway amber and brianne you two need to STOP FIGHTING especially phisically!!! i mean really im getting very angered at trying to stop it all the time! grr and hmm lets see i hate to say it but if you were someone who told me not to talk to marcus which a number of you did i am afraid i cant do that bc that is totally and compleatly wrong and my mom just brought me popcorn!! i LOVE popcorn hehe hmm... what else well natalie wants us to get a tractor and a giant fan and part the caloosehachee river, (like moses) and pretend its the red sea hehe and than make tents and dress as arabs and spend the night at the fort myers beach!! lol my mom said no :0( even though it is a bible project oh well vicky said she cant either and me and her can have a sleepover hehe umm ME AND NICOLE MADE A RAP i forgot it.. it was prett much we made up the words as we went along but its about tony tromba.. wow that kid is hott haha and donnie.. im going to kick your butt tomorrow... YOU DREW A FLOWER ON MY PURSE lol erica is going to make her call go off again and i know mrs miles is goingto take everyones phone and give us all detentions! BC SHES PISSED OFF haha.. NOT funny mrs OB called me a retard and cynthia said im obsessed w/ calories hehe i like that word but i like the word dwindle more bc it has a cool ring to it and austin when you say "say my name" just becasue i have a NEW YORK accent (bc you know i was born and raised there) DOSNT MEAN you can always come up to me and say "say my name" and sound it out for me bc i will just start to sing the destinys child song bc thats the 1st thing that comes to mind kind of like when you say Tony Tromba me and nicole say hott! lollololol and jeff.. i still dont like you bc your a stupid new jersey kid and i DONT LIKE NEW JERSEY oh yeah just so you all know
LISA'S CURRENT MEDICAL CONDITION
- well the ear person said that i have crap in my ear so he had to put a vacum in it and vacum it out and than he told me that if i still cant hear to come back
- and the knee doctor said that my knee cap shifts and he was moving it and i was just like wow thats awesome haha and sooo he put me on a 'excersise diet' and than in about 3 months i get surgery and after than i can never go to gymnastics again.... AND THAT STINKS ON AN ICE POP!!! bc i wanted to go back but nooooooo okk whatever
- im going to the dentist bc i was eating and sucking on a lemon (they are so good) and i chipped my tooth :0( it hurts like a mommy!!
okk i hope you liked my little thing have a nice day love you all BUH PIES! hehe
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 19 January :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: slow jamz
okk well last night i couldnt sleep.. i didnt go to bed until like 5 or 6 in the morning idk why.. so i cleaned my room in that time, took a shower and watched court tv on the Jombenet Ramsey case.. i cried bc i been keeping up with this since i was like 8 and now im older and listening to everything that happened to this 6 year old girl- it was so brutal and carefully planned and i hate it! i cried and i was mad bc i thought about stuff like death and how someone else in my life may die soon... i dont want to say who bc alot of you people know him.. im not sure on whats going on with that now but im not sure what im gonig to do after that. i taked to my mom about it and she was telling me it was all ok AND NO ITS NOT!!! you dont know how mad i got at her and how much i yelled at her i cried for about 4 1/2 hours bc my life isnt easy.. its not even close to perfect.. but you all need to understand its not the absolute worst like some of you may think it is. i have my reasons for getting up in the morning and i know my purpose in life is to try to help my friends and other people... friday that girl no names she well she goes to my school and she has NO friends she just tags along.. and i did it at one point to.. you know leave her out. and im ashamed at that i feel dirty and also only stuck up bitches should do that what happened was she showed me a note and she was depressed.. so i felt like a meanie and i told her if she ever needed to talk to call me so i gave her my number and i told her that we have to get together and she actually said thank you to me.. that really was a rewarding thing those two word mean the world just like when someone says 'i love you' those 3 words can lift your spirit but dont go out there and tell people you love them when you dont mean it bc that happened to me and when i found out that it was a lie it hurt really bad. so stick to thank you lol what else happened.. me and ashley went to the mall and saw alot of people and.. DARBIE!! yay!! i missed her and i saw her and me and ashley like screamed her name haha umm i saw cynthia, sara s. and her bf billy and his firend.. i forgot his name haha and me and ashley just were concentrating on getting charms for our bracelets haha well it was fun and tonight i want to go to bed at 6.... yeah well love you all mwaaaaa!
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 18 January :: 11.09am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Ashley Harris lol
today kelly went home at like 6 bc we went shopping and we ate dinner... than she went home and i came home and did nothing lol well... i did i planned for tomorrow i was on the phone all night with nikki and we talked about wierd stuff
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 18 January :: 11.45pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: lori and nikki
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 17 January :: 11.545pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: kelly is singing
ok sorry i havent wrote in 2 days lets give a summary.. friday i went to school came home and stayed at cypress middle where this one girl was being a bitch and telling everyone to move and i didnt move when she told me to and i like got mad bc shes like MOVE NOW and stuff and i kinda looked at her and i kinda screamed 'GO AROUNDBC IM NOT MOVING' and she went around me there were other kids being gay and someone was saying loser and i thougt he was talking to me so i asked him if he was and he looked like alarmed like i was a teacher and hes like no of course not lol i just said ok.. and this one other girl was being annoying and trying to act liek she was 20 lol she reminds me of trista (you would only know her if you live in NY lol) ur prob. wondering why i was at a middle school.. well my dad was subbing there and i got out early so ginnys mom drove me to cypress bc she lives around there and wow that was nice of them haha after that went to the movies w/ joy lori nikki kelly and cynthia than kelly slept over. saturday we stayed home than at night went to my sister jens house and babysat... OMG that was soooooooooooooooooo funny/gross lol ok it started when we got there we just watched movies chilled stuff like that than Tyrell went to bed and we went through my 2 sisters room we found alot of things in jens room we didnt want to find leah was totally clean we found like love notes (very sweet ones) and letters from mom and dad and pics so we just looked than back to jens room.... well lol its kinda disturbing but we found alot of condoms, a dildo and a bunny which was also a dildo thats supposidly gives "orgasms" than we found porn at first i thought it was how to take care of her brest implants and kelly showed me the back of the movie case and i screamed and started to cry and laugh it was THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER!! and wow im kind of worried bc we found alot of pills... and needles... :0( im kinda scared about that and plus some not alot of wierd shirts wow.. but one thing is she told me she got $200 from her ex bf and im like..... umm i wonder how lol than i started going out with orlando <3 the hottest kid alive lol and than we watched a marathon of punk'd than we fell asleep... than jen came home and she took us home it was like at 3 in the morning she gave me and kelly $50 each so it was worth it
3 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 15 January :: 11.44pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: IM GOOD lol i love that song
today well i went to school... it was ok i guess and than... well i forgot what i did bc this is the next day i will update it when i ask people what i did
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 14 January :: 9.34pm
:: Mood: crying
:: Music: kelly
okk today started out really fun.. i was cheerful and happy in the morning jordan and i got along.. we almost got into only 1 accedent with susan lol school sophomores went in at 9:28 and we had a 'breakfast' and ispent time with my friends and it was fun bc i dropped 3 classes it was really great and school was fun all together. susan tooke me home and i said about 45 hail marys and she almost hit a chain of mailboxes haha i got home and did HW and stuff and then i went to dance and i got a call... from one of my guy friends and he told me that another one of my girls overdosed on painkillers and is now in the hospital on life support. i dont know how much more of this i can take everytime i turn around something happens to one of my friends and idk ill finish this later
ok finishing haha umm well let me say that all of my friends are dear to me and i love all of you and if any of you have a problem and is even thinking about doing something harmful to yourself PLEASE PLEASE call me I DONT CARE what time it is or what day it is!! hell come to my wndow or my house and ring the dorrbell i really dont care! and i mean it! suicide is not the answer at one point i wanted to kill myself i know but i learned the hard way that, that dosnt solve ANYTHING i dont care what happened in your life there is no good reason to do it and that goes for cutting yourself also i stopped when kelly made me promise bever to do it and it was also one of my new years resolutions so i didnt do it and when mariah killed herself i realized what a mistake i did for starting ti in the first place! so all of you PLEASE dont ever do that its so much better to let it out and discuss your problems with somebody and im here if anyone needs me
i love you all!! and i PROMISE i will come through for each and everyone of you when you need me <3
2 Watched me as I |
Fell
|
|
snowflakea4
|
::
2004 14 January :: 6.32pm
:: Music: get over yourself
THIS IS AWESOME
Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a
good communicator. Incredibably loving and
loyal when your trust is gained and you are
fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is
in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river
but nobody truly knows you.
Fell
|
|