I love you not only for who you are, but for who I am when I am with you.

I love you not only for who you are, but for who I am when I am with you.

:: 2005 5 April :: 12.32am

today was a good day.

me and keegan had to work from noon to 3 and from 6 to 8... but inbetween we *get this* went to long lake park and tried to fly the kite his mom bought us.. awww. she bought us a kite... and we brought food and stuff... *that classifys it as a picnic...!* there wasnt much wind though... so we lacked the whole "kite flying" part of it... its all good. then we had to go back to work.. but nobody showed up so Veronica had us go to Sams Club and pick up all the stuff concessions was out of... which was cool.. we got payed to go shopping for her.. woot hoot....

i just got home... we were at micahs house.. aww.. i love micah.
*laughs....

we have to work tomorrow... its cool how Veronica scheduals us at the same time... *giggles..... i've only worked there without keegan once..i think im schedualed with out him once this week too... but other then that she always keeps us together.. which i think is cool.. *smiles.

damn me and my over obsessive use of the astrics.

my legs are SO fricken smooth.. that never happens! lol.

i miss becky. both beckys.... burns and visser. im a little upset with burns though. more like dissapointed. really dissapointed.

i miss dylan too..... *cries.
he's gotta be like one of my best guy friends... well of course.. thats what english incest is all about... is it not! *winks... i love ya.

hmm.. im tired... and my bed is lookin real good over there in that corner... mmmm. if my bed was a person, i would so sleep with it right now.....

*laughs.....

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charlessumnerthatsickfuck

:: 2005 1 April :: 10.25pm

hAVEING A good one. beefalos have ginormous testicles. b-ball @ 11pm w/ a one armed man. good times

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 1 April :: 6.27pm

the kenny chesney concery was awesome last night...
my mom and i had so much fun together.

sue and tina were fun.... but lets not go there.. because they both kind of make me sick....

maaaaannn.. it was so good. my voice is a little odd today. .im suprised i even have one! my mom and i both got concert shirts... *loves them.

yeah.. i'll leave it at that.. but it was SOOO good.

im really tired though, and i have to work at lazerskate till midnight tonight.... woot hoot... im comming straight home and going to sleep.

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 29 March :: 10.00pm

he will never be a christian... and that kills me.

whats worse, is i just got the most awful email i could have ever possibly gotten. my hope is gone... he's a lost cause and there's nothing i can do about it.

what a dissapointment.
so now what do i do? i have nobody to talk to about it, alyssa wont call me back, nobodys here. i hate when that happens. i hate feeling alone. but hey.. i've gotten used to it right?

i mean what good am i if i've learned nothing about the thousands of things i've let dwell inside of me? who would i be if i didnt keep things to myself because in the moment of pain im all alone..... WHO would i be if my entire fucking life i hadn't been alone?

he said it himself... he'll do things occasionally he'll regret and then realize they're wrong later. well im so glad i've had the priveledge to be one of them. should i be jumping with joy that im one of his mistakes?

i almost wish nothing would have ever happend, that i never would have met him. not knowing would have been so much easier.

damn it erika, go to bed and stop thinking....
its not healthy.

all will be forgotten by morning... this will just be one more entry i neglect to re-read.

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charlessumnerthatsickfuck

:: 2005 28 March :: 8.14pm

what a great night. spartans won, i had pucker delivered and i chilled w/ some cool peeps, shanon, tyler and then melissa. I had the pleasure of dyeing my friend heather's hair blond, only to run out of dye 2/3 of the way through. But meijers was a close and friendly place, inhabited by elated spartans.
Today i went to class, played softball(i fell down in the mud :() and learned how to play "hot cross buns" on the trumpet after a very meaningfull and serious conversation w/ colleen, my gigley friend. now i'm off to learn a diff way of playing euchre. life is good, God is great and the sky is blue.

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 28 March :: 2.23pm

yay... we got new carpet.

i need white shoes.... this i have determined.

easter was incredible.. me and keegan spent all day together. my pastor delivered an amazing sermon... im so glad i got to hear it.. i needed to hear it. i've been thinking about alaska alot lately.. and its almost made me cried. i miss the mountains.... more importantly i miss the spiritual growth i got up there. i came home and it disappeared.

i want a coconut fudge granola bar....
i'd also like to learn how to spell.

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 25 March :: 4.28pm

i just talked to ryan... i miss him. awwwww. what a nerk he is... :)

keegan came over this morning.. the INTENTION was to wake me up... sadly that didnt happen.. he took to long... pshhhh, yeah thats right i said it. he had to leave for their talent show practice.

last night we watched secret window... he had never seen it before. i forgot how scary it is! lol... im not kidding.. its scary! im a panzy though.. i dont like blood, witnessing pain, things jumping out at me, or ghosts... that rules out every possible scary movie in the world... i do make exceptions though. johnny movies are ok.. like sleepy hollow... thats gotta be my favorite "scary" movie of all time... its more of a comedy.. te he ha.... yay for johnny.

whats that i hear blasting through my house? Shaniah Twain.. i love her. i think country music is by far my favortie genre.... true story.

kyle.... grrrr, i shouldnt go there.

we're coloring easter eggs tonight.... how exciting..

at the moment we have no living room furniture, or a kitchen table.... we're getting a new living room set tomorrow, and new carpet monday... woohu for us.

i do believe im falling into the process of eventually falling in love... and thats an amazing feeling. i dont believe that two people can fall in love in high school... i mean genuine love.. not just a "i really care about you" love.. because you "love" the person that sits behind you in your classes..... after telling myself once that i was in love, and then realizing that i never was, and that it was all a lie.. i've realized something about myself... i'm extremely critical when it comes that kind of stuff. even in movies if the two main chars. fall in love right off the bat, im like pleeeaaaseee.... but i do think, that if me and keegan stay together for a really long time, and keep developing the way that we are..... it could really blossom into something beautiful... because in truth it already is. mainly because he's such a beautiful pserson. his words speak to me... not just because they're his words.. but because he's such an amazing writer, and to me thats one of the most attractive qualities a guy can have..... im really lucky, not because i have him.. and i should feel honored, because that would be saying i have something i would never deserve.. and everyone deserves to be happy... im lucky because not only do i have somebody to care about, but i've found somebody to genuinly care about me. to genuinly take care of me... to carry me through my weakest moments. when i struggle he lifts me up and when he struggles i lift him up. he doesnt just agree with me.... he has his own opinions. i've never experience that before. somebody with their own mind who will stand up for what they believe in, even if i disagree. he's the person that will point out my imperfections... but he's also the person that will help me work em out... the only time he's impatient with me is when he knows that im right about something.... and its the same for me... we just balance eachother perfectly.. and we've never jumped the gun. for how mature we are, and how close we are..... i admire us for staying true to our morals and not jumping the gun before we're ready for a commitment.. because the way i see it, saying i love you is a commitment that you're supposed to live up to regardless the cost.... and i dont think its very likely that a couple of high schoolers can fulfill that promise to eachother. but thats just my opinion... no offense to all you "love birds" out there... thats just how i feel.... once again.. i could go on forever about how i feel about love, but i'll stop here, smile a few more times... and be on my way.

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charlessumnerthatsickfuck

:: 2005 23 March :: 12.26am

I just got done playing euchre in the lobby w/ some guys from my hall. Turns out the boys love journey...which makes my lap top music library happy, we listened to the best of all time balled, and wheel in the sky. Colleenie and i have been on a wining streak, until tonight. we got beat, but we laughed hard and had a good time. I got back to the room and turned on the tube to find Brain Green (renounced physicist, and author of "the elegant universe") on David Letterman and Larry the Cable Guy(Coiner of "get-r-done) on Jay Leno. I love this culture, so many choices...its hard to think all of this color comes from one society. Brain Green revealed info from Einstein�s theory that backs up my belief that time travel is possible. I must make note to tell the engineering majors about this... especially the ones who said i was wrong...mwhahahha. they've actually done experiments w/ jet and the most accurate clocks possible to prove that time travel is real. Einstein had equations for it. it's simply traveling faster than the speed of light and gravity. i'm excited. well, off to bed for this little trooper. nighty night night

Brian Green is full of awsomenosity.