watching a movie
have you ever seen the movie, Magnolia? andy, you should. it's about love and forgiveness.

mama: who is that?

me: his son.

mama: no it's not, it's tom cruise.

me: he plays his son in the movie.

mom: how can they make tom cruise's father ugly? americans are stupid like that.

i have much love for my mama.

yesterday was like evil day. first i woke up at 11 cuz conway sent me a msg telling she was back. *theme from psycho* crap....

well i couldn't go back to sleep after that, so i showered, threw together a little lunch. my mother got hom before i was done and told me she was going to get her picture taken for the US embassy, did i wanna go with her? i figured, why not? i finish lunch, stick it in the fridge and we go to photokina. well as we were there, the law firm called. they need me to type up a law suit or something equally insane? so my mother drove me there and i sat in that swivel chair for 4 hours, staring at the computer screen, trying to translate the fancy arabic into english. finally, it was over and my mom picked me up and we took my phone to the shop. they tell me the circuit's shot, i might lose everything on it. numbers, pictures, ringing tones. *bangs head on hard things* crap again.

it wasn't over by then, since my mother wanted me to go with her to pick out the material for her dress. i can't believe it took that long. mind you, i still hadn't eaten anything. i, toTO, had not eaten a thing, from 11am the time i woke up until past 9pm, when i finally got home, called up KFC and ordered a gigantuous dinner. 3 twister wrap sandwiches, family sized box of fries. mmmmm t'was good.and the lunch i had spent all morning preparing? well my brother came home to change, discovered it, and it was all gone. nothing left for me OR my mother.

it was a long day. when i got home all i wanted to do was eat, put my feet up and sleep. but i didn't. i had to get up and do the dishes and the laundry. didn't get done til around midnight. torture. food. work. i'm quitting. for sure.

and THEN. i woke up early today, too. my brother came into my room to ask if i wanted breakfast. so we had breakfast together. then we played naruto. addicts, i swear. oh! speaking of naruto!

my cousin, DJ kitsune, was online last night and we spent easily 3 hours discussing naruto (weather or not he's the fourth hokage) and he stops all of a sudden and goes "you're a hottie."

*shmook*

ziyad: did i offend you?

me: no. you complimented me. and i'm no good at taking compliments. from my cousins.

ziyad: well think of it this way. i've never met you, i have no fond memories of you, and i saw two pictures of you. one of them AC made all sexy and the other one of just natural you. you're cute.

me: i'm supposed to be cute. i'm 16.

ziyad: oh i think you'll remain cute long after that.

me: so do you think sasuke's gonna whoop naruto's ass in manga 227?

yeah. freaky. *shudders*

today, is a pretty day. my mother n i are going to go to the movies together. it's going to be nice, it's been a while since we've spent some quality time. and you know why i can?

cuz i'm done my math summer assignment. WHEEEEE!

oh and the final laugh of the day:

(while watching tigers on the discovery channel)

sarah: it's a pussy!

me: it's a big one

sarah: just like mine!

and THEN.

my phone died! i need to get a piece of shit new temporary one. wait it gets worse. umm... no nevermind it doesn't. so yeah, my phone died! (you can still call me, but i lost all my saved numbers and things)

my list of reasons on why to be happy
1- i have a mother and brother who love me very much and i love them in return

2- i have awesome friends

3- senior baby! woo woo!

4- i get to take sandman to prom *grin*

5- i have chocolate custard

6- i love this album and i have all the deftones albums, niyayayayaya!

7- people on different continents think i'm a "cutie" *hot ears and giggling*

8- math summer assignments are fun! wheeeee! *snort snort*

9- i had koosa for lunch today (my favourite food in the whole wide woild!)

10- i just took a shower and i feel so cleaaann!

11- i'm having chocolate custard

12- i have toenails! *wiggles toes* don't laugh, i haven't had toenails in a long time. i missed them.

13- my room smells like candles, and the light coming in through the window is just right and i love this song

14- i got the latest naruto manga! YES!

15- kaileen just emailed me and she's going to college afterall. woo woo!

16- my lip's back to normal size

17- i'm living with barney this weekend

18- chocolate custard! chocolate custard! i love my chocolate custard

19- chocolate custard! (come on, it's a great reason to live)

20- my room is clean-ish. i was looking for my picks. couldn't find them. but my room is clean-ish.

21- i'm joining a gym. finally

22- i'm learning to glonk losing my religion! sex!

23- i have enough time on my hands to make this list.

doom doom doomy doomy doomy. the end!

dream!
i had a dream and stuff. yeah. so i'm living in andy's house only it's not her actual house, it's huge and she's filthy rich. and then, aliens land! and i fall in love with one of them. he looked exactly like scottie only he had blue skin and his pupils were inverted and he had white hair and dressed funny. and we were so in love. just like old times.

and the aliens had to leave, and we stood outside on the balcony and said goodbye. i went inside and andy was there and i turned around and asked her "what the hell am i doing?" all of a sudden i run to my bag and start throwing my stuff in and andy's asking me "what? what?" and i go, "i'm leaving." and i hug her one last time and just get on the space ship and go away with them to a place i didn't know.

i left, and i didn't look back. i knew i was never going to see earth again, my friends and my family. i didn't even have time to properly pack. instead, it was just this impulse, that i could not lose him again. and then on the trip to my new home, we were together all the time, and we were intimate in ways i'd forgotten existed. it was so crazy weird.

so crazy weird.

What makes you laugh?:	the offspring - the kids aren't alright
Who is your hero?:	a7mad khalid bo3riki
Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?:	matt bellamy. mmmm.....
How many pairs of shoes do you own?:	"i think a change of footwear is in order"
Seriously... Where does the other sock end up?:	*blink* uh.... elsewhere?
Who do you blame for your mood today?:	a7mad! i whooped his neji-loving ass! sharingan style! *dancing and noonage*
If the Internet were sex... I would:	be extremely disapointed
Have you ever seen a dead body?:	3
What is something scientists need to invent?:	transportation through all 11 dimentions and acceess to the multiverse
What should we do with stupid people?:	kill them off. to ensure the survival of our species.
Have you ever broken a bone?:	several
Do you watch local news? Why?:	only during MUN
What happens after you die?:	i go get judged
How big is your bed? Big enough?:	not big enough. although i did manage to share it with andy once and beat her senseless in her sleep
How long do you think you will live?:	not long enough

Random Thought Provokers brought to you by BZOINK!
EmotionDump - 100% Anonymous Emotions and Confessions

big ranting post on good things and bad
there's got to be some more change in my life.

i climbed your arm, but you pulled away. a new cavity moved into my heart today. the more i scream, the more it seems, now i'm through.

cheers! i am going to rot in this pit-fall, this crack in the sidewalk we call our world, this weed in the pretty park of global politics. i suppose i should be upset. i suppose i'm a little upset. but i'm also kinda happy.

i'm not happy because i'm staying here. not at all. hell, i've said it before and i'll say it again. i deserve better than this. i'm gonna get better than this. but i'll just have to wait, oh about 5 years, give or take. i figure, maybe i can make my mom happy, and take every single course i can while i'm here. after graduation, i'll start with fall semester, winter semester, spring semester, summer semester, any semester at whatever season they offer, and i might graduate early. if i graduate by the time i'm say 20, no way in hell my mom's gonna force me to stay here on my thumbs, right? she wants me close, i know because she loves me, and i love her too.

i'm not entirely sure what i'm so happy about. it might be the fact that i'm through with the meds, or the fact that morrow morning's my final drip session for a while. maybe it has something to do with the idea that i'm mentally capable of doing this, and no matter what my mother or anyone says, i'm more mature than i should be. i feel old. but happy. like a little old lady, happy because she doesn't have any worries, and no reason to be sad. i have worries, but they're decreasing instead of increasing.

i like to think i learned how to prioritize. the hard way. i still learned. i also like to think i can manage my life pretty well, considering i'm a "mentally and emotionally unstable 16 year old", and that diagnosis is by all teenage standards, not adult standards. more so, i like to think i'm not a teenage drama queen, not seriously at least. jokingly, i'm the mistress, but seriously, i think i can be pretty rational and reasonable. maybe i cry at the drop of a hat, maybe i pity small helpless animals, and maybe i complain more than anyone really should, but none of that matters, none of it should matter so long as, under pressure, when it counts, i can keep a cool head and my wits about me. my mother does not believe it. it's funny to me. how am i ever gonna be responsible and learn to take care of myself when i live with her and can't even be home alone. it's funny to me. i'm still happy.

there's a point to this blabbering, i swear, and kudos for getting this far and managing to stay awake. in case you skimmed, get this.

last night i dreamt you went away
and this morning i felt like hell for you. it crossed my mind how many times that i missed you so much in that space of life between the moment i woke up and the moment i opened my eyes to see your head on the pillow next to mine.

i had a fight with my brother. he dreams of growing up and becoming some big shot in a big shot office with a big shot car and a big shot wife. he says he wants to be successful. and to him, that's successful. the way he put it was, he wanted to go to work in a blue suit and have his secretary buzz him to tell him his wife is on line 2.

i don't want that life.

andy: i've made you a pumpkin! bibbidy bobbidy boo!
this is my song. from the very first line, it's just my favourite word over n over n over again. wheee!


Hungry, hungry again
Hungry, hungry again
When will it start to sway
When will it start to almost break you
Hungry, hungry again
Hungry, hungry again

I'll miss you
And I wish you luck
Well, I forgive you
And I don't wish you away, away, away
It'll almost break you
Almost take you
Almost break you
Almost break you up

hey remember that time we had offspring downstairs?
me: i'm gonna go blog about the offspring episode downstairs.

andy: the offspring episode?

me: yeah, just now.

andy: we never had offspring together downstairs...


anyway...

you know that song, offspring - the kids aren't alright?

we butchered it.

i wish i could post the mutilated lyrics here, but we didn't mutilate the lyrics. we just sang them a little... differently.

picture this. snapping your fingers, doing the snake, a huge goofy grin on your face. now picture us both doing that. singing, "jay committed suicide; brandon ODed and died!" also, andy would supply the "whoa!"s between each line. at one point, i snap my fingers, big goofy grin on face, and shoot my neck out as far to the right as i can reach. i wait for the "woah!" but it doesn't COME. there's a split second of silence as i stay in that position, then finally pull my neck back in and carry on with my little dance. during the chorus, we performed snake-like dances with our arms. nagama got a kick out of that... we're sitting/standing there, doing our dances, laughing insanely. i pose, arms up in the air, hip thrust out and holler, "i am not a stalker!"

poor danielle, the first words i say to her: "i am not a stalker." first impressions. gotta love em.

after we stopped laughing long enough to take a deep breath, i go, "you just totally killed all the syrianness of the song."

i'd meant to say "seriousness". wow. we laughed too much. *shakes head*

and that's the story of how andy n i made offspring downstairs.