bathtub gin

7 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 11 September :: 3.17pm

My boobs are bigger! Yay!

:: 2005 10 September :: 11.38pm

layout
changed

:: 2005 8 September :: 10.11pm

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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FLi;yasreen;ob vy6wat;hyu;i 'JFDFGHKHL;HFJGFL;KHFDKJHSTIKUWETWI'
ETHLIFG
DFHFGJS;HDGKJFDHGKJDFHGKJLDFGHKLJDFGHKJFDHGKJL

:: 2005 8 September :: 8.35pm

The Nordyke-Greggs Syndrome
This is the paper I wrote for my Inquiry and Expression class. All it had to be was a personal narrative.

I wrote about my father going into the hospital last summer.

I cried while I was writing some of it.

I was kind of mean in my descriptions of some people but I was in a fowl mood. I'm sorry.

It's six pages long so you don't have to actually read it.

Read more..

I love you all.

:: 2005 8 September :: 5.01pm

I really hate when my browser begins to wig out like this.

Mozilla decided to be mean. Anything I typed into the little google add-on or the address bar typed backwards. Since I couldn't really search for the problem that way, I just closed it out, opened it back up, and now my bookmarks are all gone.

And I'm scanning the computer with three different programs because that is never a good sign.

I love you all.

P.S. I promise I'll have a full school update this weekend.

3 three drinks behind | martini?

sandatthebeach

:: 2005 6 September :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: crappy

Crushed Pineapples
I'm so fucking insecure it's great. Maybe I'm supposed to be alone...forever...what if I'm supposed to be a nun for real? I don't know, I'm having issues with...crap. I fucking hate the way that I am sometimes...

Can you really fall out of love in a short period or time? Someone you've loved for so long...just suddenly decide hey, I wanna move on. I just, I dont' know, I think it's impossible to have such sudden change of heart. Or maybe I'm just a loser for taking way to long to move on, you know? I mean, it took me 3 years to get over someone....a few months? Is it possible? I don't know. I read some things that made me really jealous and upset all at the same time. Then I felt stupid and got really insecure and just wanted to lock myself in my room, hide under the covers and hide from the world. I think I'm pushing away everyone. I hate being alone yet I'm the one who puts myself in that position. I hate people but I don't. Maybe I'm just sick of me and my bullshit. I hate burdening other people with it so I just dwell on it...forever...until I crack.

I want to go outside right now and just screa really really loudly because I feel like I'm suffocated. Not because my nose is stuffy but just everything inside feels trapped and I want to take my brain out and just chuck it at a moving train then make myself a new one...one that doesn't think so much....I'm make a brain that only concentrates on school so I can be smart.

And that's my rant.

Always, Sandy

:: 2005 6 September :: 8.05pm

Anyone know German, Katie?
His handwriting is awful but this is what I could see:

Ich habe Ihr gehelfen, und Ich liebe die zeit Ich setz und denke uber sie, Ich weiß sie ist zu nett, zu gut, und zu hubsch für mir. Mein lieb bracht sie nicht sie kann lieb aus einen grossen mann haben, Ich bin nur schlect für Ihr.

I put in the accents where they actually worked, everywhere else, I just got a question mark. Like on uber. ü ber ﲾr. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Yeah, so if you could, what the heck does that say?

:: 2005 4 September :: 11.03pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: Hand in my pocket- Alanis Morissette

One Year, suckers
I know I mentioned this in my xanga, but it deserves to be spoken of again.

1 more week! :-)

I'm excited. It's so cool. It'll be a year. Not alot for some of you people, but it's quite awesome to me.

Plus, Ryan is a good guy. :-) I've had him trapped for a year. Poor guy.

Just kidding. But he is a good guy.

:-) :-) Yay

toki	:: 2005 2 September :: 11.21pm :: Mood: Gross I need a good slap across the face. Who's first??? martini?

Anytngbtordinary

:: 2005 31 August :: 1.54pm

Woah... is it Jackie?
Nope.
Ok yeah...you caught me.

I had a lot more private entries on here than I thought man! They were private for a reason though and I shouldnt have even seen them. Boo.

Its weird too cuz they are like a year old.

Talk about needing to let go of the past huh?

Its just weird. One of them was a...erm...a story type dealie. I cant believe that all that jazz lasted until January 2005! Maybe a bit longer but wow...everyone told me it went on too long...but that long?! YIKES MAN! And i dont even think people knew it went up until jan/feb. Thats siiick! O.o I think I'm going to delete all those entries.

But when I was packing to come here a few weeks ago (dear god...its been 2 weeks already!) I found the oldest of old woohu entries haha. Wow... you guys...we had so much shit going on between all of us it was ridiculous!!!! Who did we think we were creating so much drama?! SHEESH. Haha. But yeah...wow...dont look back on the past...or old journal entries. Scary stuff that is.

I'm gonna go write a more fun xanga entry now because xanga is awesomely awesome. Just thought Id surprise everyone cool in here! Hehe bye!

~Jackie

4 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 30 August :: 8.39pm

September is a big band month.

Switchfoot's new CD comes out on the 13th.

Socialburn's new CD comes out on the 27th. (I'm glad they still sound like Socialburn. Even when they got a new record company. I don't think I can take another Eisley transformation.)

Our Lady Peace's CD came out today.

The Arcade Fire is going to be on David Letterman on the 14th.

Deerhoof's new album's coming out on October 11th so maybe it's just a fall thing.

I'm really excited for Socialburn's CD. Actually, I'm really excited for both Socialburn and Switchfoot. And Deerhoof.

The Books changed their site around. I like it.

I love you all.

P.S. Wouldn't it be nice if The Cranberries weren't "taking a break" or The Smiths were still together? Sigh.

sweetyas

:: 2005 30 August :: 4.30pm
:: Music: Church bells

Stupid Bells
I hate church bells my friends. They are a pain in the ass. i am serious. They ring like every half an hour for some random reason, i guess they have a meaning but every half hour is a bit much dont you think? Yea i have a headache and am a bit tired and my laptop sucks. Its going to die so im not going to write anymore. Classes seem hard i hope i do well.

:: 2005 30 August :: 5.04pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Million Things by Cloud Cult

Life is awesome. College is awesome. Here is a song for you lazy folks now that you're back in school.
I love you all. Cloud Cult rocks. They have a sad backstory though.

Read more..

P.S. I know my icon is awful. It's a placeholder until I find something less tacky. Plus it just makes me laugh.

:: 2005 29 August :: 11.26pm

This weekend= no fun.

Worked 2-10 Friday and Saturday. 2-8 on Sunday.

Some parts were fun, I just didn't have enough time. I wanted to have a day to hang out with people. The only person I had time to see was Ryan, which isn't bad. Ryan's a good kid to be with. But it'd be nice to have freetime, you know?

So yes. Some fun times. Almost getting arrested. Planned my honeymoon. ;-) Saw the Aristocrats.

School was long today. Math isn't getting any harder. Philosophy is getting tough. History scares me too. I'm excited for theatre tomorrow. Jill- we have to get our tickets to that one show soon. Coppenhagen.

This year I think I'm just going to get through Mondays and Tuesdays just to get to theatre. And Thursdays will be my inspiration to make it through Wednesday. Friday? Ummm...Friday is nothing anyways. Only one class. Sweet deal. Hoping for more weekend days off this week.

Labor day is soon. We get Monday AND Tuesday off. Sweet.

I kinda wanna work on those days. It's too late to tell Julia now. Poop.

And Ryan's probably working. Triple poop.

Sleep time. Nights.

goose

:: 2005 29 August :: 7.20pm
:: Music: Emo raido station

This weekend was purdy good if you were wondering...

Friday i only had one class :) then i just took care of some stuff i'd been meaning to do, and worked a wee bit and then went hot tubbin with that kid...
Then saturday i partied hard with Elisa when we went to visit david at school and couldnt find him cuz he went home so we just went to this random frat party...lol funny joke...yeah i compleatly convinced matt that all of that was true, david came home for real and the 3 of us hung out for a while, but yeah i was joking around with matt cuz he was with ben and asked where i was and somehow he believed me...then david went over to his house, we thought for sure he'd figure it out but he just said hey jill davids over...so i said ha! thats why we couldnt find him. He kept thinking it was weird that i left the state and didnt tell him...hehe. then i walked into his house and just stood there. it was so funny. yeah but you had to actually be there. yeah...

im listening to yahoo radio, the emo station its sweet... hehe they play jimmy eat world and fall out boy. jill likes. :)

woo theatre class tomorrow! I am not going to tell you how much of a dork i am because you will laugh, because even my mother laughed at me when i told her what i did, so i will keep this to myself now...hehe

:: 2005 28 August :: 9.40pm
:: Music: Heaven by Lamb

This could be heaven right here on Earth...
I kind of want to see the movie Just Like Heaven for a few reasons.

1. In the theater, the preview had the song Heaven by Lamb in it. And I love Lamb.

2. I'm curious as to how it would end. Like 50 First Dates, there's not really anyway they can end it. She's dead.

3. I'm a sucker for girly movies.

4. Reese Witherspoon is in it.

I love you all.

P.S. I just wrote my first rough draft for my first paper in college!

6 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 28 August :: 4.39pm

It's a big joke at Aquinas that the squirrels are evil. It stems from the fact that any squirrel you come upon will not run away, it just stares you down.

Now I didn't believe this because I hadn't seen any squirrels on campus. But on Wednesday, I was walking back through the woods and there was a squirrel by the path just staring at me. He wouldn't move.

So I guess I believe it.

:: 2005 27 August :: 1.34am
:: Mood: exanimate

I'm moody.

I was going nuts at work today. I don't know why. I wasn't even that tired. My mind is just...fwooosh. I pretty much know why, but poop.

I'm very sad right now. Not sad, morose.

My feet are sore. My shoulder hurts. I feel disgustingly gross.

I don't want an apartment. I don't want to leave my cool green room.

I wish that I could find motivation to run every morning.

I think I should sleep. And not listen to sad songs.

I like this Patrice fella though. It's this dude who wrote a bunch of songs about LotR, but not for the movie. Farewell To Lorien is good. But it's sad. Because that part of the book is sad. I want to listen to the soundtracks now. I want the breaking of the fellowship.

:-(

I just need a hug, I think. I think I'm just a moody piece of shit.

-Patrice

BTW- If you're 18, go see The Aristocrats. Now.

6 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 25 August :: 10.19pm

Ignore that first part. It's boring.
I don't really feel like taking a shower tonight. And you know what? I can do that because I am a college student and that's what we do. So tomorrow, I will sport a jaunty chapeau to cover up my greasy hair.

Things are settling down. I just need a JOB and life will be doubleplusgood. As compared to the plusgood it is now. Hardy har har.

If you feel like it, here are pictures from orientation. I'm not in any of those. Well, I'm in the Q.

Aquinas is so beautiful. You guys should just come with me and we'll walk around.

I love you all.

P.S. Nick = the best. Just in case you didn't know.

:: 2005 25 August :: 8.11pm
:: Mood: upset

Didn't get the job.

Whatever.

:: 2005 25 August :: 1.50am

Guess who has no classes tomorrow??? Ooooh yeah. Bask in my amazingness. Be jealous. I don't have to wake up until atleast...2...

That's the good thing about this college thing. Today I woke up at 11. Haha. My earliest class is at noon. Which is sweet. But that does mean crazy night classes, which suck. Stupid math. Urgh.

So, my favorite class by far is theatre. Jill's in my class! Yay! It's cool seeing people I know. That place feels so...gross. And to see Jill makes me happy. Like this.

My theatre teacher is so cool though. He's just amazingly awesome. He loves what he teaches. Just sitting there listening to him makes you want to get up and do something with your life. It's true. I went home last night and started filling out my Depaul application. Him and my Philosophy teacher are definitly awesome.

I don't know, you know the feeling you get where in a class or doing something you love? It just feels right. Like your planets have all lined up and a big neon sign is glowing telling you that you found what you were looking for.

Art is like that for me. Not Art-art. But theatre, photography, and writing. Mostly photography and theatre though. I mean, they're not pratical careers, but shit. It just feels so right. I could apply at Depaul for next fall for the theatre prgram. Probably theatre technology, general theatre, or dramaturgy. Or Dramatic criticism. Then minor in english.

But I want to leave C-Hell-C as soon as I can. Meaning, if I do that, which would be harder to get into, then I still have to stay here for a whole year. I think it would be cool to start during the spring semester there.

I don't want to do theatre and then get nowhere with it. I want to do what I want but have something pratical. Which is why english education makes sense. I still want to do it. But I wouldn't want to teach sophomore english or boring stuff like that. I'd want to be creative writing.

I want to be artsy. I don't want to be scholarly. I mean, I want to learn. I want to learn all I can. I'm pretty sure I'll take random classes for the rest of my life. Still, I don't want to make my life out of it. With those things, once you learn it, you know where it's going. Yeah, you can study the hell out of it, but it's still the same usually. With arts, there's no set course you have to take. There's no scientific method. There's just you and how you express emotion and conflict and what you see around you. And that's what I want to do. I just don't know how.

I'm very confused. I'm giving it a week or two before I decide on what I'm applying as to Depaul. Yep. I wish I had a Choose Your Own Adventure, so I could cheat and see how each scenario works out.

-Patrice

:: 2005 24 August :: 9.18pm

I can never be sick from school EVER AGAIN
My mommy got an old-fashioned lawn mower. You know. The kind you push and the blades rotate and it makes you wonder how it cuts grass.

I don't know why but I've always wanted one. She said it was because the other one is too hard to push and get out. She also said that the riding lawn mower was too much of a hassle and missed too many spots.

She's lucky my dad's the lawn and garden buyer. Or maybe that's why she asks, because she knows she can get it.

Either way, it does cut grass. It cuts grass really well. So well, in fact, that I might volunteer to cut the grass.

However, Mom tested it out on the front yard and it did nothing to improve the looks at all. It's just as ugly, if not more so. We have this fungus in the middle of the yard in the shape of the letter c. Weeds and crabgrass cover every other part of the yard. (Except for where it touches the neighbor's yard and his fertilizer was inadvertently spread upon some of our yard. I wouldn't be surprised if it was on purpose, as some kind of hint. "Look at how beautiful your yard can be!" If it was, sorry, guy, our well is broken and we can't water the yard. Nice suggestion though.)

I read the funniest thing yesterday. I was reading 1984 because I love those kinds of books. Someone was talking and it said they spoke "parenthetically" but the sentence they spoke was in parentheses. Most awesome thing ever. Oh, George Orwell, you slay me!

School's going fine, by the way. I'll speak more on the subject when I have time to sit down and let it all sink in.

For now, I'm off to read my Nancy Drew book. Number 32 and only cost me a dollar. I'm a sucker for Nancy Drew. You can blame my aunt Patty for that.

I love you all.

P.S. George Orwell (or shall I call him Eric Arthur Blair?) was fugly. Seriously. That had better just be a very bad picture of him (is that a mustache? If not, what is it?) because I don't know how I can love that man anymore. I'm kidding. He could be a 1000-pound woman and I'd still love him. (Not that way, Nick.)

:: 2005 21 August :: 9.46pm

Oh and I don't know if I mentioned this or not but I have an interview tomorrow at 9:30 for a job at the Aquinas library.

I'm pretty sure I'll get it. I was the first person to respond.

I love you all.

:: 2005 21 August :: 9.00pm

So I have my first math class on Tuesday. And I can't find my calculator.

I found my black sharpie (I noticed it was missing this morning), my copy of Le Petit Prince (which has been missing since our Mardi Gras project for French class. It was in the box with supplies that I took to school.) and this gold glitter thing that is involved in another story that proves I'm insane.

But no calculator. I figure I've got a while to find it. I only have math on Tuesdays and Fridays and I probably won't need it the first day.

Stressing out about it isn't helping either.

I love you all.

:: 2005 21 August :: 10.35am

I start college tomorrow at eight o'clock.

Wow.

:: 2005 18 August :: 11.58am

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Write down what it says: "people- both. Really among the nastiest of all medieval European"

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? My dresser

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Straight Plan for the Queer Man

4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 12:01

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 12:02

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Ryan's voice in my head

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? To drive. Earlier. My Mom's evil, I'm telling you. Its raining like a dog.

8. Before you came to this website [started this survey], what did you look at? Myspace, xanga

9. What are you wearing? PJ pants and my sister's camp shirt

10. Did you dream last night? Yeeess....It was about work and movies and Ryan running for homecoming king.

11. When did you last laugh? In the office talking with Julia.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? Phantom, Aviator, two lord of the rongs, a mexican rug, my show posters from school, a harry potter poster, and the one from the Lotr symphany

13. Seen anything weird lately? Lotsa deer in the suburbs. Just walking on the sidewalks.

14. What do you think of this quiz? Well, I started it exactly 24 hours ago and left it on my comptuer on accident. So I feel like I must finish it

15. What is the last film you saw? In whole? Ummm...I saw most of The Skeleton Key

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? A college degree? Haha. Umm...A house. I sound like such an old lady

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: When I was a baby, my nose was always running

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Stop war, as stereotypical as that sounds. I would make everyone be like thoe crazy enviornmental hippies and have everyone doing everything they can to preserve nature. ::nods:: and to stop affirmative action. Make people blind to color. Make everything a level playing field in all aspects of life.

19. Do you like to dance? Gorilla dance, anyone?

20. George Bush: He's a shit head

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Hmm. Can't think of any right now

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Tobey or Isaac. Or Harold...Haha

23. Would you ever consider living abroad? Yes ma'am

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? Ha! You're the one who had issues believing in me...::smite:: Tehehehehe! Oh look....cotton candy...::skips away::

sandatthebeach

:: 2005 19 August :: 1.15am

I wish life was fair. I wish it weren't so hard for me to keep a boyfriend...I hate my heritage.

Fuck it all.

Life's a piece of shit.

Maybe I should become a nun...at least my father will be happy.

I feel really guilty that Brian has to go through shit when dealing with my family.

Fuck it all.

sandatthebeach

:: 2005 18 August :: 2.32pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: My brother whining in the background

Cell phones
So woohu works on my computer again. Sweet. Well hello everyone, have you missed me? I know, because I never come in contact with anyone if it's not via woohu. Anywho...school starts in a few days...I'm less than excited. That's right...I'm < excited. Hahaha I'm so funny...ok not really.

Woo my mother's yelling at my brother. Sweet. He needs some discipline in his life..he's such an ass. He makes me angry...very very angry. Good lord, he's stomping on the ground and giving people attitude that shithead. God...I really don't like him...he aggravates me very much. I'm fine with Chris, the younger one is such an ass. jkfajiflejal;jfesjfiaesjsal

The boy leaves Saturday/Sunday. I'm sad. :-( But it's ok I'll live...he is, afterall, coming back after like five days or so...he's coming back every weekend until Great America's done so...around Halloweenish? I won't make him come back every weekend after that...I'm not a control freak like most girlfriends. I believe in independence and individuality. Yay for being your own fucking individual.

I've observed many many relationships and always thought how can a girl be that controlling? The guy's allowed to have friends...he's allowed to hang out with others every once in awhile. Now that I'm in a relationship...I still think how can girls be that controlling? I told Brian that if I ever become controlling...just let me know...I promise I won't get mad. ::Shudders:: I'm sick of the world.

I'm thorougly disappointed with many aspects of life...haha I won't try to sound deep or anything but just I don't know...I'm sick of life, sick of people, sick of drama. This entire summer I've spent most of my time at work, summer school, or with Brian. I feel kinda bad about it because I was planning on doing many other things this summer. I had a summer reading list with books that I really wanted to read...I've only completed one...the 6th Harry Potter book (which, btw, made my cry like a baby and totally ruined my day). I've spent very little time with other friends who I don't see at work. I saw Patrice and Ryan frequently enough...same with Caitlin...but other friends....not really. I feel awful. I've been really anti-social...more than I have been in the past couple of years. And now all of my friends are leaving....I only have a handful of friends who still remain here....I know a lot of people but I'm friends with very few. I hate it. I hate how I can't just be "friends" with everyone...why I'm so critical about every aspect of life and every fine detail regarding me. Maybe that makes me selfish...the fact that I want so much and expect even greater things. I'm a selfish bitch, that's what I am.

Sorry, I've been really moody these past few days...I think it's because I've finally realized that it's time to grow up...for real. I'm going to college next year and that kinda scares me.

Ok well, I'm off to Caribou with Caitlin.

I guess I'll post later and whine some more.

Always, Sandy

:: 2005 18 August :: 8.33am

pointless rant
So...tired...

I want to sleep in but I can't. Maybe Wednesday I'll be able to.

I love you all.

:: 2005 18 August :: 1.48am

My shirt is dirty. I smell of popcorn. Gross. I think I'm going to go read my book now. I think something I said a few months ago just killed something I was trying to rebuild. Forgive and forget? It's impossible, but it'd be nice. I feel like shit now. I'm just doomed to fail. I'm sorry.