-->

 

home | profile | guestbook


But everytime i hate you, i think of you first.

recent entries | past entries

xonixieox

:: 2004 1 December :: 9.27pm
:: Mood: pretty good
:: Music: blahhh

fkjgdhbg
well today i had a better day! practice was gay but then we went back here and chilled and practiced and danced and listened to b-itty sing drop it like its hot... i almost fucking pisseded my panties! lol wow im really hyper we put on cmt and did the rockaway! hahaha im such a character.. then gini went home and me brittany donald and dj are chillin here downloading movies.. actually we are downloading the polar express the grudge and EDWARD SCISSORHANDS!!! yayy!

ok thats all for now! ypiieeee more dancing to do! yay!!!


*edit* ya so iwas reading my "friends" journals and i found some bitches talking shit.. now im a bigger person so im not gunna name any names but honestly lets all act like we are in the 5th fucking grade.. lets all talk shit behind peoples back becasue we are all to pussy to confront them.. or.. better yet.. lets have other people confront them.. that sooooo much better... well HAHAHA this is me laughing in any bitch like that's face.. hahahahahhaHAHAHAHAH *edit*

-Nik

4 you need me like a bad habbit | just go on and say it

xonixieox

:: 2004 30 November :: 7.25pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: frosty the snowman x my phone

cheerleading
ok so i was getting excited and i actually thought that i could make varsity and then at the first practice thing i realized that im dreaming an empty dream that will never come true.. honestly why not quit while im ahead! seriuosly im going to be on jv for the rest of my fucking life and its all becasue im fat ugly depressed and i am a fuck up! thats all it is! i dont even know if im going t go to the tryout on friday becasue i cant do it.. im just going to be on jv for my entire fucking life.. like i would fucking be excited if i made fucking alternate but thats not going to happen either because i suck!! i cant even believe im crying over this shit but it just means so much to me... cheerleading is really the only thing holding me together!

on another lighter note!! if no one starts to comment im done with this journal.. i know people look at it and everything but if you dont start commenting its gone!!

-Nik

4 you need me like a bad habbit | just go on and say it

xonixieox

:: 2004 29 November :: 10.11pm
:: Mood: actually good!
:: Music: none!

well im waitnig for my mom to comer home from work because she is working till ten tonight!!

today was banquet and i got MOST SPIRITED! i also got a $10 gift certifigate to bicfords!! YAY!!!!

i have 2 boyfriends.. there names are toby and kenny.. i have pictures...

that is toby baby
laying on the couch ;)

hahah and this is kenny!!!

in the pool!!

haha im sooo funny.. what can i say.. i like older men!!!!

-Nik

just go on and say it

xonixieox

:: 2004 28 November :: 6.46pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: forever december x tabitha's secret

blahhhhhhhhhh
well today i went to the mall with Gini Britt and julie and we met Becca and Em there!! awww i miss Bec!! lol we went to johnny rockets and ate good food.. i guess i had fun for the most part. until the end.. well anyways so ya then i actually bought a shirt in hollister.. but it is really madd cute! i love it! tomorrow is the football banquet :/ blahh..

ya so i get home and i get shit for my room being dirty.. and its all clothes becasue when me and my brothjer switched rooms he left all of his shit in the closet! so ya i kept telling my parents to make him clean it out but they dont care so i decided to do it.. so i threw all of his shit onto the floor in the hall way 0:) lol so ya then he got pissed and took off my closet doors and threw thwem at me! lol i have a big bruise on my knee but w/e after it hit me it hit my 300 dollar camera doc thingy that i paid for by the way.. so i bitched and my dad was like you fucking deserved it you little bitch! grrr i hate him so much im gunna make him pay for it.. not even Dj.. hes such an immature little baby like he's slamming all the doors around right now.. its his whole family.. they are really gay.. like when they came over for thanksgiving i was taking a nap in my room and they were like bitching afterwards .. ok well if im asleep then they have to fucking deal with it! i honestly dont want ot live anymore.. my life is full of pain and hatred.. theres only like 3 people that actualy love me so i dont know i think it would just be easier for eveyone. including me to jyst kill myself or die :/

-Nik

just go on and say it

xonixieox

:: 2004 25 November :: 8.30pm

today is thanksgiving!! YA REDMEN! we won baby! well me and kimmi went to the game with our faces painted red w/ white "N" 's on them! then we died our hair blue and blew our horns and threw confetti throughout the whole game! lol we are the inspiration for the team! lol it was madd fun!

now im so full im gunna explode!

-Nik

2 you need me like a bad habbit | just go on and say it

xonixieox

:: 2004 21 November :: 10.25am

ok sdo i decided that i only have like 5 Really good friends.. the ones that are always there for me and dont care when i get into bad moods or anything like that.. the ones that i know i can talk to no matter what shit is going on! like last night..

i really dont know whats whrong with me.. im starting to get really sepressed again.. and i dont know how to get out of it.. i just dont know whats whrong with me.. i have been thinking alot about suicide and shit like that.. and when i get into one of those moods.. anyone who goes near me BEWARE :/ it sucks becasue i dont realize what im doing until after..and i can like hurt my friends and the people i love when i dont realize what im doing.. (not in a violent way.. just like with words) i really want to go talk to my doctor or something this shit needs to stop.. i stoped taking my zoloft becasue it gave me chest pains so i think im gunna start taking it again.. i dont care what happens to me.. as long as im happy for a little while i guess...

anyways Gini.. Brittany.. Mada.. Julie.. and Amanda thank you girls so much for always being there.. i love you all so much and im sorry for anything that i have ever done to hurt you :/ i love you guys!

1 you need me like a bad habbit | just go on and say it

xonixieox

:: 2004 18 November :: 1.23pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: none

everythibg is going wrong..
i dont even know why i try in life anymore.. nothing ever turns out well.. i try in school.. and what does that give me ? F's? exactly.. i try even harder in cheerleading and what does that get me? a permanent spot on jv? i cant take it anymore.. no matter how hard i try everything turns out like shit! ikm done with it.. im not even gunna try anymore.. everyone on varsity is either gorgeous or really really thin.. and im not either of those things :/ honestly i wish that i was even one of those things.. its like the harder i try the farther i fall.. i just cnt take it anymore.. i truely want to die.. so i wont hurt my friends or my family anymore becasue im a fuck up! i hate my life and everyone involved in it :(

1 you need me like a bad habbit | just go on and say it

krazykelc1

:: 2004 16 November :: 6.51pm

Code for linking pictures to a journal


close all spaces after you copy it.. excluding the one between img and src.

< img src = " URL tag goes here " >

1 you need me like a bad habbit | just go on and say it

xonixieox

:: 2004 13 November :: 5.39pm
:: Music: kenny chesney x when the sun goes down!

AMAZING SONG!
ok so this song started it all...

magic 5 baby!!!

Sun tanned toes ticklin the sand
Cold drink chillin in my right hand
Watchin you sleep in the evening light
Restin up for a long, long night

Chorus:
Cause when the sun goes down, we'll be groovin
When the sun goes down, we'll be feelin all right
When the sun sinks down over the water
Everything gets hotter when the sun goes down

All day long just takin it easy
Layin in the hammock where it's nice and breezy
Sleepin off the night before
Cause when the sun goes down, we'll be back for more

Chorus:
When the sun goes down, we'll be groovin
When the sun goes down,we'll be feeling alright
When the sun sinks down over the water
Everything gets hotter when the sun goes down

This old guitar and my dark sunglasses
This sweet concoction is smooth as molasses
Nothing to do but breathe all day
Until the big moon rises and it's time to play

just go on and say it

krazykelc1

:: 2004 13 November :: 10.55am
:: Mood: good

Happy Birthday Brother..





just go on and say it

Woohu.com | Random Journal