i'm at nicole's house and you're not!
hahahaha. loser.

yahya/brian...two TOTALLY different guys...
Horseeyoregal: yahya!

Auto response from Goozballoon: someone... please just hold me. please, just hold me.

Horseeyoregal: I VOLUNTEER!!!
Horseeyoregal: :-D
Horseeyoregal: really! i do! i mean, what are the chances that i'll ever get to hold you EVER?? and plus, ur graduating, and probably going off to some really good college on the east coast, so i'll like, never see you again!! :-( well, since the chances of me ever getting a hug from you are pretty slim, or ever getting to hold you, (which i would, by the way) i guess i'll just hafta give you a cyber hug. *hug* :-D
Horseeyoregal: and i sincerely hope you feel better. i've had those days, (weeks, months...sometimes life just sucks) and i really do hope you feel better! so, if it helps you any, the president of the official yahya fan club hopes that you feel better!! (i mean, you can at least smile once knowing that you have an official fan club...we might be coming out with t-shirts by the end of the year!!) well anyway, i wish there was something i cud do to make you feel better, but this seems to be all that is in my power to do. i hope i helped at least a little!

so if you would like to join the yahya fan club, nicole and i are looking into making official yahya fan club t-shirts that say something along the lines of "WE LOVE YAHYA! and GOOD LUCK IN COLLEGE!" so if you'd like to join, go ahead! the more the merrier!

okay so brian. he's like coming up on thursday first apparently, and then like coming here TO STAY on saturday. currently my mom is working on banners that say 'welcome home, brian' i sincerely hope she didn't print out the letters of 'will you marry me?' to use some other time...THINGS ARE HAPPENING SO FAST!! i mean, divorce end of last summer, new guy by the school year beginning, him coming more and more, and now MOVING IN!! ALL IN LESS THAN HALF A YEAR!! FROM DIVORCE TO NEW MAN LIVING IN THE HOUSE!! this has got to be a record...

life aint fair. at least i've got 'happy hormones' goin on right now cuz otherwise i'd be just as depressed as the rest of the world...and that wouldn't be good, now would it? haha watch me post tomorrow...it'll probably a totally different story about how life sucks and i just can't live another day. haha. seriously. that's mel for ya! well anyways its sorta late so i'm gonna go to bed...goodnight!

aaaaaannnndrrrrrrrrrreeeeewwww!!!
FPBabe17: man let it be is gonna be stuck in my head ALL WEEK
Horseeyoregal: haha
Horseeyoregal: ITS A SEXY SONG
Horseeyoregal: it just screams AANNNDREWWWW
Horseeyoregal: so i like it
FPBabe17: hahaha
FPBabe17: i just think it's all together sexy
Horseeyoregal: true, true
Horseeyoregal: although andrew is the supreme sexiness of all time
FPBabe17: haha
Horseeyoregal: haha
FPBabe17: well sexy thomas is MY supreme sexiness
FPBabe17: and i think he needs to sing imagine with the real words
FPBabe17: because it's sexier
Horseeyoregal: yeah
Horseeyoregal: i guess
Horseeyoregal: i dont even know the real words
Horseeyoregal: HA
FPBabe17: haha you tard
Horseeyoregal: i know
Horseeyoregal: thats what i get from singing stupid self-written church musical music
FPBabe17: haha
Horseeyoregal: okay i'm posting this
Horseeyoregal: this has gotten too funny

to clarify, andrew sang 'Let It Be' in the church musical. that is why it just screams aaaannnnnndddddrrrrreeeeewwwww!!! that's also the reason why it's such a sexy song.

geez...who would have ever predicted that i would ever get all worked up over andrew?? haha...strange. at least it's making me happy, tho! too bad i couldn't find that pic of me singing 'respect' where he's lookin at me like he likes me...oh well! :0D LET IT BE!!

freedom and happiness seem to be hand in hand, running away...
my mom seems to think that reminding me every few hours that brian's moving in on saturday is a good thing. let's just say i'm generally in a better state of mind when i'm not thinking about that. its just hard, ya know? even though this was a little bit more expected than the divorce, it's still not an easy thing to feel good about. i mean, i'm not used to seeing my mom kiss ANY guys at all cuz she never really kissed my father, but now that i see her with him and they're doing all this shit in front of me, it's just like...really different. and now he's moving in...

when my mom first told me i was sort of numb already cuz she so kindly enlightened me that she had read this thing that she shouldn've have read, and what was i to say? she asked if i was gonna be okay with it, but what was anything that i could say gonna do to change things? its not like she was gonna stop loving him just because i dont like him. and really, at the time, i wasn't like REALLY against him. but like, since the last time he visited, i have hated him SOOO much. he just pisses me off. he acts sorta immaure, (maybe my mom thinks its cute?!?!) and he just like...annoys me. he talkes in his falsetto a lot and sings like a fucking drunk, and yeah. i get pissed off with people that act stupid around me, i just always have. thats why i tend to be closer to people who are more serious and down to earth most of the time. same thing with guys. guys that do dumb shit piss me off. guys that are serious and intelligent and insightful turn me on. so after that last visit, i am dreading having to live with that man. and to make it worse, my mom's making us make this banner that says 'welcome brian' for him. why can't it say 'sorry, we changed our mind. go back to san diego and never come back.' ???? IT'S NOT FAIR!! WHY HAVE SOME THINGS IN LIFE BEEN SO UNFAIR TO ME???

i have a feeling i'll be updating on annoying brian shit as of saturday, when he officially moves in. when i do, i'd appreciate comments such as 'what a loser' 'how the fuck could anyone love that guy?' and 'i am sooo sorry! wanna live at my place? my parents say they'll adopt you!' so thanks. i'll need some friends to get me through this...

choir/youth group
okay so here it is, as promised, an update about choir and youth group. not that anyone cares. but i do. so here it goes:

choir: nicole came!! yay! 2 altos! haha (that wud be one more than the regular alto: me) so that's always good. but OMG U SHUD HEAR THIS SONG!! ITS SOOOOO UGLY!! its got all of these whole-tone scales and funcky shitty back up and OMGOMGOMG ITS JUST SOOO BAD!! so yeah. come by the church on june 3rd to hear the worst pentecost hymn ever written. well there's this one part thats like 'veni veni sanctus dominus' and its really pretty but like THATS IT!! but then we sang some other song that the little kids are singing so we cud learn the harmony to sing it with them so that was sorta fun. the ending has a big ole G (a half note, no less) so that's just wonderful. oh well. that's what u get for singing children's choral music...lots of high little-kid soprano notes at the end. oh well. at least that stopped our pentecost song... o and then we talked about the musical and how it went and stuff. pretty cool...

youth group: dinner-WHAT THE HELL?!?! IT WAS SOOOOO BAD!! i gagged on the brownie cuz it tasted like play-doh. no i'm serious. and the sad thing was, it looked really good and normal so i took a HUGE bite...ick. and i had fun slapping david and being like pinched on the stomach. ugh. i have this really bad sunburn from the tanning incident so people were writing stuff in my sunburn. yeah. like 'hi, my name is melissa' on my chest. OWCH!! so yeah. youth group was cool. i played around with ruthie and chris and was loud. we were trying to have a meeting about the bob party but yeah. i was having a sunburned-blonde moment. and yeah. then an announcement was made. top secret tho. all i can say is CONGRATS!!! :0D and then we had game night. well truth or dare skanky hoe game night. haha. our youth group is sooo dirty. its fun tho! and the best thing is, our councilors are just as dirty if not MORE dirty than we are. it was MUCHO fun except the part where i spilled my life to everyone and we started talking about my personal life like family stuff and yeah. then it got kind of too personal than i would have liked but yeah. i lifted 'the incident' off my chest to the youth group now. haha. i'm kinda scared that ppl think that i wud do worse than what i've done! i guess saying that i'm 'risky' does sort of leave the risk up for interpretation but yeah. i'm not that bad!! well all in all it was lots of fun. and i still like everyoneknowswho. hehe. idk why, cuz he really isn't that cute, but he's just really sweet to me. i dont know if he's doing it on purpose (maybe not) but i'm falling for him! o and there's this pic of me in the show and him lookin at me like he's checkin me out and tim was all like 'hey look, andrew's lookin at u like (and he gives me the look) ' it was really cute i was smilin. hehe. okay well i'll most likely post tomorrow cuz we have the day off!! :0D

well today's been fine so far. church, lotsa fun cuz nicole AND ali were there so we all talked non-stop and the sub teacher was probably thinking 'so THIS is how they scare off so many sunday school teachers year after year!' cuz we just wouldn't shut up. it was hella fun tho! and we got out sorta early so we ran around the church and played in the elevator and such. the church service was sort of interesting. i had to usher and then read the invocation cuz alice didn't show up...lets just say this isn't different for alice to just not show up. so yeah. i ran up there at like the last second and had nicole take over ushering for me while i read last week's invocation...haha. and like the service was boring so nicole and i talked and some ppl sorta looked at us i was like HAHAH U HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO!! even tho they were probably trying to get us to shut up...haha. stupid old ppl that don't know my name...grrrrr. haha. okay i have nothing else to type. i'll post after choir/youth group maybe...

tanning is dangerous...
but before i go into the dangers of tanning, i guess i have to clarify the picnic entry. by swinging i meant like ON SWINGS...like the noun swing. not dancing. i thought that was made clear with the phrase "cuz there was like a swingset right there..." but apparently not. so yeah. swings at a park. not swing dancing. ;-)

okay SOOO here's my tanning story. i figured it would be a good idea to lay out in the sun for a while seeing as i am completely pale and icky and need to get some sun. so i ask my mom, put on a swimsuit, and lay out there by my pool. she says to not go for over an hour the first time, just to be safe. so i bring my cd player and my chidren of eden cd's and figure i can listen to the first act and 4 songs of the second act and it'll be an hour. the thought might have crossed my mind ONCE to switch sides and lay on by stomach, but i didn't. so i go to henry and ramona with nicole and as i walk out of the mvcpa, i look in the glass and am like HOLY SHIT I'M REALLY SUNBURNED ON MY CHEST!! (cuz i was wearing a really low spaghetti strap top and i cud see my chest in the glass. so i show my mom and she's like OMG HOW LONG DID U STAY OUT THERE?? i was like just an hour. and she's like 'so u switched sides at half an hour, right?' i was like ummmmm noooo.... so now my left arm and my entire chest is sunburned as well as this line on my tummy cuz i had my swimsuit up a lil. so yeah. moral of this story is: if you tan, esp. if you have a time limit, make sure to SWITCH SIDES!! u won't look burned while ur out there, but give it an hour and you'll be bright red!!

o yeah, and another note: i was mainly doing this to eliminate my shinguard tan and guess what? MY LEGS ARE STILL PALE, NOT BURNED, AND NOT TANNED AT ALL!! just my chest and stomach, which i didn't really give a shit about in the first place!! so that's what i get for trying to do a good thing...

survey thing...i'm posting instead of e-mailing this time...

>1. What time is it? 8:30 P.M.
>2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate?
sorry but not gonna say on the web...
>3.. Nicknames: ummm...Mel? does that count? i mean, its not like my real name...
>4.Parent names: again, not to be shared on the internet, but first names: Sam and Denise
>5. How many candles appeared on your last birthday
cake: 14...but i only had a cake at church...look out durin the summer for a pool party half-birthday tho...
>6. Date that you regularly blow at those candles:
February 2nd
>7. Pets: 2 cats: Skittles and Mr. Mistoffolees 1 tortoise: Tracy
>
>8. Eye Color: hazel
>
>9. Hair color: BLONDE!! helllz yeah...lmao
>
>10.Piercing: none

>11. Tattoos: none

>13. Favorite color: baby blue
>15. Current residence: home

>17. Been to Africa? no. WHY?
>
>16. Favorite food? idk.


>18. Been toilet papering? isn't that more commonly known as TPing? oh, in that case, no. (haha...)
>
>19. Have you loved somebody so much it made you cry? ummm duh. i just recently cried over one like....2 days ago?

>20. Been in a car accident? thank God no.
>21. Croutons or bacon bits? both. hey, they didn't say we had to pick one or the other!!

>22. Sprite or 7 up? who cares? some of these questions are stupid...
>
>23. Favorite Movie? ummm none right now. Legally Blonde? Drumline? idk...
>
>24. Favorite day of the week? depends. want a reason for every day? here it goes...
Monday: none. HA.
Tuesday: hbriding, cuz be fun
Wednesday: LATE START HELLLZZ YEAH!
Thursday: health. hey, i like health!
Friday: TGIF. duh
Saturday: relaxation
Sunday: church.


>25. Favorite restaurant: any restaraunt that can make me some good steak...
>
>26 Favorite Flower? ummm rose! duh!
>27 Favorite Tooth Paste? anything with strong whitening shit

>28. Favorite Drink? its currently gotta be lemonade.
>
>29. Favorite sport to watch? umm do horse shows count?

>30. Preferred type of ice cream? choc chip cookie dough

>31, Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney! EEYORE!! DUH!!

>32. Favorite Fast food? taco bell/in and out


>33. Who is the last person you got email from before
this? ummm i just checked and i had like TONS. umm an amusing one from nicole though...
>34. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? no.

>
>35. Which single store would you choose to max out
your credit card? ummm all of valley faire?
>
>36. What do you most often do when you are bored? go
online
>
>37. Who is your friend who lives farthest away? ummm i don't really have friends that have moved far... o i have some church friends in Texas and a few in Oregon though.
>
>38. Most annoying thing people ask you? ummm idk. sometimes when random ppl ask me personal questions its annoying tho...
>
>39. Bedtime? 9 or however later i can stretch it
>
>40. Who will respond the quickest? dunno.
>
>41. Who is the person you sent this to that is the
least likely to
>respond? dunno

>42. Favorite all time TV show?
Friends and That 70's Show
>
>43. Last person you went out to dinner with? umm well if you mean OUT to dinner and not like a picnic with ppl, that wud probably be my father. i don't really eat out that often...


>44. Coffee? not in the liquid form but coffe ice cream? hell yeah!

>45. Salad dressing? ranch. no competition there
>
>46. Most recently read book? Running With The Wind for history...
>47. When was your last hospital visit? last year...idk 2nd 3rd quarter, broke my pinky finger horseback riding

yup so there it is. my first quiz as a post. yeah. whatever. :0D have a nice weekend everybody!

church picnic....helllz yeah!
hehe. so there was a church picnic for Bob tonight. (Bob's the pastor, he's leaving really soon...yeah i know *tear*) but the good thing about goodbye and welcome parties with the Methodist church is that its Methodist tradition to have food involved. so of course, it was a picnic. well bbq dinner-ish thing. so i'm like 'great, i get to hang out with a bunch of adults for an evening and follow my mom around like a puppy dog cuz what are the chances that the youth are gonna come?' well actually things turned out better than expected. david, andrew, thomas, christina, and kyle showed up. well it doesn't really matter cuz i didn't see much of christina, kyle, and thomas, but hey, they were still there. okay, so i'm feelin pretty darn stupid cuz like, i'm not just gonna go hang with david, thomas, and andrew. i mean, yeah. just aint gonna happen. so i walk around following my mom saying hi to all the nice church folks and eventually talk to maggie (o joy, i'm babysitting from 5:30-late on saturday...) and luckully they ask if we'll sit with them on their blanket. yay. a place to sit. so i'm sittin...eatin...not doing much talkin. listenin to my mom talk to maggie and cliff about stuff and bein bored. but then....DUN DUN DUNNNNN....andrew walks by and is like 'hey melissa, wanna go swing?' (there was a swingset like right there) so obviously i was like 'yeah, sure!' cuz like AHHHHHHHHH HE ASKED ME TO SWING WITH HIM!! okay so maybe i overreact cuz like, i do...i mean, 'little gurgle' need i say more? but still...this was truly worthy of me overreacting. so i was like soooo happy. (if you need a refresher on how i feel about andrew, read a few entries below...yeah...) we just like swung together for a while. i was like soooo happy. and swinging is really fun! i would like go into more detail but u'd get like really sick of me talking about every little thing he did. hehe it was soooooooo cool tho!! o yeah. i've now written lyrics to the first notes of 'In The End'...it'll be a friends only entry for obvious reasons when you read it...hehe. so yeah. life ROCKS!! we did other thing besides swing, but after a while david and terry came over (o yeah, terry was there too...) so we weren't like alone anymore... but yeah. we swung for like a long time and talked and he jumped and tried to go really far and stuff. another one of those (and i know things now many beautiful *coughcough* things) moments. haha. oh well. ;-) then we like sat and watched little kids swing...and OMG I FORGOT THE COOLIEST PART!! hehe he was tryin to do this thing where he pushed someone just high enough and then ran under them. so he pushed me...how cute is that??? i mean it wasn't like for a cute purpose but like yeah. he still did! o and we played hackey sack with a tiny soccer ball and lets just say i can't juggle for beans but hey who cares? it was fun. :0D and now i can't say that nothing ever happens to me with guys cuz THEY DO!!!

fun fun fun
well i survived my physical. nothing major happened. besides the fact that i had a temperary scare because my blood pressure was apparently 147/75 (idk if i'm doing it backwards, i just remember the numbers) but then they checked it again afterwards (since apparently thats freakishly high...as in like i'm about to drop over dead high...) but then it was 70/129 which is normal. so yeah. phew. and nicole, i think you just had a freakish doctor...cuz mine did nothing of the sort. really, i worry about that lady... but darn, i didn't get to ask that question about planned parenthood. haha. no, apparently this lady thinks that i'm not going to have sex anytime soon (and she's right, don't go getting any ideas) so she didn't get to inform me about what to do when i become sexually active. oh well. nicole, maybe you just LOOK older than me...but i mean, they have ur age on the thing...o well whatever. i'm glad. and its over. and the camp form is filled out so NO MORE DOCTORS!! woooooohoooo. its not like i'm against them or anything, but i don't like...make physicals a joke or anything like some ppl...haha.

awww
bad news: reuban won american idol

good news: maybe in 10 years i can do clay and it won't be in the news...

haha. well darn. my josh groban sound-alike hottie didn't win. oh well. goodnight!!

a few updates/clarifications
1) I GOT MY BRACES OFF!!! MY TEETH LOOK ALL....teethy. yeah. u can see @ school...i look waaaay different!

2) I am getting over things. Like both major things. It's good. I've decided that its just too bad for one thing and to just let go and move on.

3) Mainly #2 is because i'm back into the swing of liking like 5-10 guys at a time instead of obsessing over 1 or 2. its good to be back to normal...

4) I am NOT going to change my sn. things have happened because of privacy issues, but ya know what? neither of them could have been helped and i just can't do anything about it. i'm just not deperate enough yet to change my sn and go about telling only select ppl about it so i can have some privacy.

5) speaking of privacy, a lot of my journal entires are now for 'friends only'. now there are a lot of ppl that i would be comfortable with reading a lot of the shit that i write in here that aren't on my friends list. too bad. if ur really obsessed with reading what i have to say, make a woohu journal and tell me to put u on my friends list. otherwise, your stuck with reading the less personal entries.

okay thats about it.

p.s. nicole: LMAO i am still laughing about that thing yesterday....i am SOOO glad i wasn't there...would have been funny to see my face and then watch me run far far away...

wow...depressing day
ur just lucky i've lightened up to cranky cuz i was seriously fighting back tears earlier today...

well i only have one major thing to say:

I'M MAKING A NEW SN!! and ya know why? SO PEOPLE LIKE YOU WON'T KNOW IT!!!! mwahahahaha....

actually idk. its a surprisingly hard thing to do. i've had this sn for like...EVER!! (haha nicole...) and i really just wish that like...yeah. that i cud keep it. *breaks down sobbing*

so yeah. if i really do this i'll notify all of you wonderful people via e-mail about it...:0(

youth group...
well not much happened but like 2 memorable things that are woth writing about:

1) we made these little pages for Bob (the pastor) cuz he's retiring and we were showing our pictures. hehe it was really cute cuz when they showed mine, Andrew was like 'aww i remember those pictures'. so yeah. :0D *major grin* this is meaningful because like a couple weeks ago in rehersal he grabbed my pics to use as props cuz we hafta be holding like paper or something for this one part and he got bored and started playin with the pics and stuff. it was cute.

*we did a thing with just the jr high where we wrote our names on a piece of paper, passed them around, each person wrote 3 compliments...etc. and then shared. chris wrote 'boytoyer'. i was like wtf?? he was making up all these words...and he was like 'yeah, boy-toy-er. you play with boys' i was like what?!?! I DO NOT!! so yeah. strange...but whatever.

all i care is that andrew said 'aww i remember those pictures' in a REALLY REALLY SWEET VOICE AND I'M HAPPY!! if u heard how he said it...it was just so...sexy! hehe...:0D

i think i've listened to WAY too much into the woods this weekend...
ok so here's an update of my currently boring life:

church musical was performed today. lets just say: THANK GOD ITS OVER!! 22 lines I'll NEVER have to say again!!! YESSSS!! but ya know what's really sad? thats probably the biggest part i've ever had...:0( and i hated the show. o well. at least i'll never have to sing fucked up RESPECT ever ever ever again!! thats a good thing... the show ran pretty smoothly...i messed up one line (no one could tell except the cast, esp. andrew) and cracked during respect about 5 times. but hey, that's nothing new...

youth group tonight. woohoo. i'm just not too excited.

hehe i have a reputation for being boy crazy in sunday school and youth group. we started doing high's and low's and i was like "OMG I HAVE A REALLY REALLY BAD LOW THIS WEEK!! no seriously, i started crying because of it!" and david's like 'let me guess: boy troubles?' haha. everyone's like 'yup. must be.' hehe.

ok so another thing on that note: there are SUCH slutty ppl at our school!! omg i thought i was bad, but i've done NOTHING compared to some ppl. i don't wanna give names cuz somehow they'll read this and get pissed so i'll just mention some things ppl have done. someone went to second base (shirt off) with her date of three weeks last week. 3 WEEKS!! SHIRT OFF!! now if we review health class' levels of physical contact, all this person has left is touching below the waist and sex. but this is nothing compared to someone who's already given guys bj's. yeah. 8th grade. bj's. our school. all i have to say to that is MY GOD!! how can they do that?!?!? maybe i lack the sluttiness/self confidence. but i mean, woah. and like, where would they do that? well one did that in her room at home WITH HER DAD HOME!! now how the hell would that work? idk...ick. just had to get that out.

well life is gonna be pretty boring. well i'm gonna end with my own rendition of the beginning of into the woods:
i wish...more than anything....more than life...that hmmm well 1) i could have a long, decent, interesting conversation with someone...cuz thats always nice and i havent had a good conversation in a while. actually ya know this wud only be worthy of an official wish if one of 2 guys started up this conversation... and 2) that i cud sing well and 3) that it were summer

okay thats it. :0D