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2008 17 January :: 8.58pm
It's really windy outside.
Oh, and I'm fairly positive I'm going to go to graduate school once I get my Bachelor's Degree.
Woot for M.A. in English Literature and Composition.
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2008 14 January :: 8.25am
My eye hit a snowflake.
I am unreasonably happy today. I'm not sure why.
I'm up and about so much earlier than normal so that I can write a paper that I am too intelligent to have to write.
I highly dislike University required composition courses.
Well, at least I'm one hundred percent on what a thesis is now, since we talked about them for the past two class periods.
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2008 10 January :: 2.29pm
I awoke this morning to clouds over the sun, to the perpetual freshness of another day, and to my body telling me that I required less movement than I was enacting at the time.
Oh man.
I'm back in the swing of things I suppose. I have one more class to go to today, and then I'm done. Well, I have my meeting tonight, but then I'll be done.
Wouldn't it be nice...
Human Growth and Development will be interesting, but the room is very large and cold, so it will unenjoyable.
The lady who teaches my creative writing class can't speak in front of people well, and she's super skinny.
I think the bus driver hates her job.
I would really enjoy a real cappuccino right now, but I have rent to pay, which means I don't have the three dollars to spend on it.
I have carrot sticks in my stomach (well, they're not in stick form anymore), and I enjoyed my peanut butter and raspberry preserves sandwich on whole wheat bread that I made myself and ate for lunch.
I have a high level of cognitive development, I was told. I like to organize things in my head. Yes, it gives me pleasure, or rather, it alleviates my cognitive dissonance.
Or, maybe, I'm just obsessive.
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2008 7 January :: 9.13pm
First time: apprehension, uncertainty, confidence.
Last time: sorrow. fulfillment. joy.
Middle time: going, keeping, doing.
the wind may be on the other side of the pane, but it still chills me to the bone from the sound i hear.
i've lost the words.
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2008 7 January :: 8.55pm
My, what curious weather we are having.
On the up side, I'm in the library while a major thunderstorm with hail is outside.
On the down side, I have to leave the library in about twenty minutes and walk to the music building in the major thunderstorm with hail.
[edit] Every time I think about making the transition, the wind picks up and the rain falls harder.
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2008 7 January :: 8.23am
I just finished with my first class of the new semester. It was English 201, which is an English Composition class that's required. Boo. But...I do have it with the same professor I had for Literary Analysis, which is cool. He's in his seventies, has a five year old kid, and is fairly crazy. Yep.
Anyway, most of my classes are tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes!
Michelle
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2007 29 December :: 8.30am
I just finished shoveling because we got six inches of snow last night. I shoveled the porch and my parking spot.
Jessie is coming to live with me tomorrow!
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2007 21 December :: 9.15am
:: Mood: calm
Classes were over last week and grades are in. Time to look to next semester. It should be fairly easy. I'm only taking thirteen credit hours so I can have more time to relax (one thing I learned about last semester is that I need time to myself so I don't get so stressed out).
We've moved into our new apartment, which is very nice. It's a four bedroom town house. The main level has a living room, a bathroom and a large kitchen/ dining area. The upstairs has the four bedrooms and another bathroom. We have basic cable and broadband internet, which means I've been watching CNN for the past week and Rueben has been downloading the whole second season of Heroes for us to watch.
I've been working a lot lately, as always. I have thirty seven hours this week and thirty eight next. I help close the store on Christmas eve, and I have to be back at ten am the day after Christmas. I'm not too thrilled about that because that means I have to drive home and back all in one day to spend Christmas with my family.
Rueben's mom came and visited us yesterday. We went out to breakfast at Lil Chef and then went to the Antique's Mall next door. I had to leave for work, but Rueben and his mom continued on and I'm pretty sure he got me my Christmas present(s). As for me, I'm done with my Christmas shopping, and everything is wrapped with many twirly ribbons.
So, I feel like I'm in a limbo; I just sit around until I have to go to work and then I go to work, come home, sleep, repeat. I am sick, though, so that throws a little mucus into the mix. gross.
School starts up in a few weeks, and we'll see what happens.
Michelle
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2007 18 December :: 12.50pm
The grades are in:
Nature of Language : A-
Literature of Non-Western Culutures : A
Foundations of Communication Theory : A
Public Speaking : A
University Band : A
Acting I : A
I'm quite proud of myself for doing that and working thirty hours a week.
But still...
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2007 13 December :: 1.26pm
This is the worst paper ever.
[edit] I'm on my sixth page and half way done.
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2007 13 December :: 9.42am
The semester will be done as soon as I write an eight page paper for my Latin American Literature class and submit it online. I haven't even started yet, and it's due by midnight.
I ended up working a ten hour shift last night. It was absolutely horrible. I was suppose to work from one to nine-thirty, but the lady who was suppose to work from five to eleven called in. So, not only did I work from one to eleven, I was alone at the service desk from seven on...which, during the holiday season, is not a pleasant experience.
I got home and my legs were killing me! But, I took a soak, and all was well.
I also got my secret santa gift from, my Kappa Kappa Psi Brother, at work last night. We had a holiday party (that I missed because of work), but Sara brought my gift to Meijer for me. She gave me fuzzy socks, chocolate, homemade fudge and lotion. The chocolate and socks helped me to get through the rest of my night!
Anyway, off I go to start organizing and writing. Wish me luck!
Michelle
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2007 9 December :: 4.08pm
:: Mood: busy
We're packing and I still feel like it's morning. Rueben went to go get my car from Don and Steve's apartment, and I'm taking a break from going through things.
After I got out of work last night I met Rueben at Don and Steve's and had a few. We ended up staying up the whole night talking and then went to Lil' Chef at 6:30. Then, Rueben and I came home and went to bed. Lil' Chef is six doors down from our apartment, so Steve drove to breakfast and we walked home. Rueben's gone to get my car, which has banana boxes in it from work so we can start packing. We also need to go do laundry.
I've realized that final exams week (starting tomorrow!) is actually going to be a relatively easy week, at least compared to what I'm use to. I have one big exam per day, and an eight page paper due on Thursday, but I think I'll be just fine. I could skip the exam in most of my classes and still pass with a C or higher, so I'm in good shape.
We're moving on Friday and I've started sorting through our food and planning what we need to eat until then. I still need to go start packing my room, and, of course, clean.
But I don't really understand why I should clean, they're just going to knock our building down anyway. But...I want my money back, so I'll do it.
I'm going to miss our little apartment...but our new one has a huge kitchen, a dishwasher, and Jessie.
"We'll get through somehow, this is only temporary/ Not now, but soon/ We'll be living in the future."
I love the radio.
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2007 4 December :: 1.18pm
:: Mood: awake
Today is my 20th birthday. I feel quite old, but know that I'm still one of the youngest people I know. How does that happen?
I guess I'm finally caught up to myself. People have been guessing that my age was 20 since I was 16.
I'm not about to do a year in review, I don't have enough time or motivation for that, but I will take a moment to make a few general statements for posterity sake (or so I say).
I'm a sophomore in college now, and that has made me a stronger, better person. Being a Brother in Kappa Kappa Psi has made me part of something larger than myself, and that's always something I had felt I was missing.
In the past year, I have become more liberal than ever, even toying with the idea of Socialism in the form of Democracy.
Unfortunately, I only watched Mrs. Doubtfire about 12 times (that's only once a month!)
I have met some amazing people that recognize me for who I am, and can understand that I am different people sometimes.
I have grown more responsible, less fearful, but more worried.
But, above all, I am here, and I made it, and that's something that I didn't think would ever happen four years ago, today.
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2007 23 November :: 9.12pm
I've been working so much lately. Yesterday was horrible at work. "Black Friday" makes me want to kill someone, or a lot of people.
But, I did get some humor out of it all. I was doing a Western Union Transfer for a lady, and one of the other people at the desk asked for my help and the lady was like, "No, you need to do this for me now, I'm in a hurry."
So I said, "Okay" and went as slow as I possibly could. I am normally very fast at typing and processing the transfer, but I made sure to look over everything a few times before I sent it. Then, when I gave her the receipt, she ripped it out of my hands and tromped away.
I hate my job.
And people at the desk are dropping like flies. One guy went to the pharmacy two weeks ago, and another girl found a new job. She said she'd come in for her last few shifts (Thursday through this Sunday), but she hasn't shown up yet. This is not the season where you don't show up to work.
Ah, well, the semester is almost over, only two more weeks and then exam week.
Rueben and I are moving into another apartment on the fifteen of December because the people we're with right now are giant assholes. But, Jessie is coming to Central and we'll all live together in our four bedroom town house happily ever after. Yes.
I have to write and give an after dinner speech on Wednesday. I have nothing. I guess I'll just wait for the last minute, like always.
Time to start packing...again.
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2007 20 November :: 10.12am
I gave myself the morning off from classes. It felt so good to SLEEP. They gave me thirty hours this week, and next week. I don't know how I'm going to be handling that, but I guess I'll find out.
Papers to write, but I have four hours now, so that shouldn't be a problem. I need to take some time off more often.
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2007 19 November :: 9.25am
It's Monday morning and I've had a very long weekend. I worked last night until eleven, went home, and wrote a paper for this morning. I didn't write the other paper that I needed to, but I'm sure she said something about we can wait until Wednesday to do it. I hope, at least.
I'm working thirty hours this week. Although I don't have school on Thursday or Friday, it's still going to be hell. I'm going home on Thursday so Rueben and I can go to his family's Thanksgiving. Then we're driving back up the same day so I can work on Black Friday. Ugh.
Now, off to Communication Theory, which strangely, I've come to enjoy.
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2007 12 November :: 6.52pm
Smoking Prohibited Except in Designated Areas.
User Information Board.
Do NOT Change Settings on the LCD Screens! They are already correct and if YOU leave them along they will STAY correct!
No Food Or Drink Allowed on the Computer Desk.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FIX PAPER JAMS!!
Welcome to Pearce Labz!
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2007 7 November :: 2.09pm
I can't stop popping my ears and it's driving me crazy.
I just finished baking brownies, and I will be enjoying them in a little while.
I have to work tonight from six to eleven. Pooh.
Wednesday nights are usually fairly slow.
UGH!
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2007 26 October :: 6.31pm
Rueben and I just saw Across the Universe. It was a great movie.
I don't know what more to say.
It presented realities.
I've always had a problem with reality. Not reality in the sense of knowing what's going on in the 'real' world, but my alternate realities. The ones in my head. The reality of what could happen. What might happen, what seemed to happen, what didn't happen, but seemed like it did.
I've had this problem since I was a small child.
I feel like I have so much to say, but I can't possibly scratch the surface here. I want _____ . I need _____ .
I'm good at playing by the rules, but that doesn't mean I like it.
I think I'm Marxist leftist...whatever that means nowadays.
I'm writing a speech on Mike Gravel and one of the articles I found while researching was called: "Mike Gravel, more Leftist than Marx"
How can I rely on words to explain myself when they simply can't? That's one of the things I've learned these past few years. I envy those who can use words to their advantage. I just fumble with them. I don't get them.
I got music and I turned my back on that. What do I have left? Two years of college, and three more to go so I can teach kids of average ability how to read the sentence: The cat sat on the mat.
Let's face it, without some time of national initiative on the part of the people, this country will never be more than substandard in anything but blowing things up.
Oh the things I could have done, you could have done, we could have done, if only we were given the chance. The opportunity. Limited opportunity isn't enough to make humanity what it should be.
Everything should be unlimited. Free healthcare, free education.
I don't care if we need to be like China and weed people out at sixth grade. Look who's on top. China.
Why would you let children who will never get it hinder the children who could change the country? Why do you bring down the best to make everyone average ? What good does that do?
It kills everything. It killed me.
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2007 26 October :: 6.26am
This day has possibility.
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2007 24 October :: 9.19am
I know what they're doing is wrong, but that doesn't keep me from being scared shitless.
I guess we'll wait for Legal Aid to call us back so we can set up an appointment with the lawyer.
So this is what it's like to be an adult...
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2007 19 October :: 8.50pm
The Jessa and Andy Show?
You changed the saying.
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2007 18 October :: 12.37pm
My professor for my Latin American Literature class took us to Java City, the on campus coffee house, for class.
...and it was awesome.
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2007 17 October :: 9.49pm
Midterms. So tired...
My brother got married and it was good. I have pictures on facebook for viewing pleasure.
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2007 15 October :: 7.28pm
Woohu.
IS.
BACK...
I thought I was going to die.
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2007 12 October :: 11.38am
It's a slow day on my friends page....I'm a bit disappointed, guys. I don't get to watch soaps because I'm in class.....I need entertainment somehow!!!
Anyway.
I'm heading home in about an hour for Charlie's wedding. It's going to be grand. I just cleaned the apartment and my room, and I just have to wash the rest of the dirty dishes and clean Patrick's bowl.
I don't know. It's just been so busy, and there is stuff in my head, but I haven't had time to think about it....
[edit] I have a craving for sushi. Yes.
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2007 10 October :: 6.00am
I have a class soon, and a book I need to read to write a paper that was due yesterday.
Last night, when I was walking back from university band, I stepped on a leaf and it crunched, and I very much enjoyed it.
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2007 9 October :: 1.08pm
Today is nice and calm and blue and a little cloudy, and not at all evil and sticky and gross like the past few days.
I have a feeling, somewhere in me, that I can't put a finger on, but I know it's there. I hate that, not being able to identify what I feel.
I signed my major today. I am officially an English major going for a Bachelor of Science in Education, Secondary Certification degree...thing. I'm going to sign my minor in a few days, I think. I need to get this stuff done, especially since the new bill came out for Higher Education that has some stuff in it about tuition assistance for to-be teachers. I need that! ME! Right here!!
I feel _____ .
What is that blank? I feel....straight line? I feel, underscore? I feel.....blank? White? Spacey? Wiped out?
No. Not really. Sometimes I hate that I only have seventyish years on this planet, and I've already used up about one third of them. What have I done in my one third of a life time? Prepared for the second third, I guess. Is that a waste? I'm not sure. What if the second third ends up being about preparing for the third third...and what if the third third is preparing for death...then am I just living my whole life to die? Always preparing for a moment that will never come. What am I trying to achieve? What is the goal? Yes, to have a job, a car, a house, a family maybe....but...why? To have a stable life for the future? What future? I'm afraid that I will have lived my life constantly trying to over achieve in a world that doesn't notice me.
I have poured my emotions into this text box so many times...
just an observation.
I don't understand how I function. I don't believe that there is an afterlife in the Christian sense of the word. I don't believe in a heaven or a hell...maybe a little waiting room with Cosmo and National Geographic magazines from 1988.
What keeps me from being totally depressed about living a whole life, and then just dying, like i was never here in the first place? How do i not be upset when I waste days doing things that I hate, because I know that I will never get those days back?
I know what the meaning of life is: ______________ .
I am feeling rushed.
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2007 5 October :: 12.24am
I have a communication theory exam tomorrow morning that I'm not prepared for. I have a speech to give on monday that I'm not prepared for. I need to start doing some preparation!
Oh man.
So...I got the brother of the month award, which is pretty awesome, but not so awesome because it doesn't mean anything to anybody but me.
whatever.
I need to go study: relational dialectics! proxemics! symbolic interactionism! oh the horror...
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2007 3 October :: 1.54pm
"Everything will exist, move, separate in a river of change which in that instant will dissolve it, age, and corrupt everything without a single voice to sound the alarm...The sun is burning itself alive, iron is crumbling into dust, aimless energy is dissipating in space, masses are wearing out in radiation, the earth is cooling into death...And you will wait for a mulatto and an animal, to cross the mountain and begin to live, to fill time, execute the steps and gestures of a macabre game in which life will advance as life dies; a dance of madness in which time will devour time and no one alive can halt, the irreversible course of death...The boy, the earth, the universe: in those three, someday there will be no light, no heat, no life...There will be only total, forgotten oneness, nameless, without a man to give it a name: space and time, matter and energy all fused into one....And all things will have the same name...None"
From The Death of Artemio Cruz
by Carlos Fuentes
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