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m&ms487
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2004 8 July :: 10.46am
:: Mood: okay
I just got back from my meijer interview, and i got it, of course. Bah.
Now I have two jobs.
And if you were wondering, there are 24 days before band camp, and the start of wonderful ole marchin' season. 24, people. Only 24.
Eh...
Now I have two jobs, a boyfriend, a best friend (and other assorted friends), a car, and hair that needs to be deep conditioned and washed as soon as i get back up the lake.
Ain't life grand?
Well, I have nothing else to do today, tomorrow i have to work at four or five, I think i'm going to invite jessica up to the lake saturday, and i have to work sunday night. All in all I have something to do ever day. It gives me some goal to work for each day. Pathetic, but true.
5 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 1 July :: 10.51pm
:: Mood: chipper
[sigh]
The green thing in my journal isn't working for me much anymore, and i have the urge to change it, just not right now.
I don't want to do anything right now except sit.
I have to work tomorrow.
I don't really wanna. Oh well. It's money.
I have to call meijer back to get a second interview.
School job?
The insurance company warned me today that if I dispute the damages incurred on that guy's car that i backed into, then his insurance company would advise him to take me to small claims court.
I need none of this.
I want none of this.
I just wanna go to bed and never wake up.
Dreams can be so much nicer and much more easily manipulated than real life.
michelle
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 30 June :: 10.20am
| How to make a Michelle |
Ingredients:
1 part competetiveness
1 part crazyiness
5 parts empathy |
Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little fitness if desired! |
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m&ms487
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2004 29 June :: 9.42pm
Hello, my name is Michelle, and I am addicted to woohu.com.
2 orgiasticals |
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m&ms487
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2004 28 June :: 2.10pm
:: Mood: okay
I got a job today.....at Sticks and Stones. It's a gift shop/ice cream place in Pierson right off the expressway across from Mobile. Well now, aren't we just special?
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 27 June :: 6.57pm
You know you've been in band too long when:
You hear music on the radio and you start marking time.
You're walking behind someone and you're in step with them.
People ask you about your social life and you say "Oh you mean my flute?"
"Armed guard" means a girl with a pole, not a guy with a gun.
You remember sharps and flats more easily than you remember the name of the president.
You see your section more than you see your family.
The band room is your second home. It is your home if you've got it bad.
You don't describe people by going "She's got brown hair, dark eyes, kind of tall..", but go "She's an alto sax."
Pep band is the highlight of your week.
4 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 20 June :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: complacent
This weekend has been indescribable. I don't think I will ever forget it. Yesterday I went and played tennis with Sam at Sand Lake at 9:30. We then went to my house and put the pictures from the lake on my digital camera that we took the night before. We went back to the lake and got ready and went to Rob's graduation party, and I left at 2:30 and went and saw Michelle at her graduation party, and then I head over to Rueben's party around four thirty. Good food. Good people. Good Rueben. It was really fun except when I burnt my pinky finger on the citrenella incense stick and fell down the stairs going out of the gazebo. Hey, I was tired, it's all good. I ended up staying the night at Rueben's house and we sat/slept/talked by the fire (or what became of it) until seven thirty in the morning. It got way too cold and we went inside and slept on the couch for a while. I left around nine thirty because I had to be back at the lake for father's day dinner. I think I slept a total of three hours. I have enough caffiene to last me a few more hours, and when the time arrives, I doubt I'll be able to make it to my bed. Eh, the floor can be comfortable, right?
Anyway, Father's Day. Fun stuff.
I think I'm going to go shopping with Jessie tomorrow to Greenville sometime in the morning or early afternoon, not like I have money to buy anything, but I have fabric and if I see something I like, I can make it. Yep. It happens.
-michelle-
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 18 June :: 12.50pm
:: Mood: crappy
Uh. Bad. Bad day. Go away.
3 orgiasticals |
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m&ms487
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2004 17 June :: 10.16pm
| Basics | | Name:: | Michelle | | Age:: | 16 | | Height:: | 5'1" | | Hair Color:: | Red | | Eye Color:: | Changes- Blue and green and anywhere inbetween | | School Life | | What's your school's mascot?: | Red Hawk | | School color(s)?: | Red, White, Black, and Gray | | G.P.A.?: | 3.833 | | Who is your favorite teacher?: | Robuck | | What do they teach?: | Band | | Is this your favorite class?: | Heh, yes | | Internet | | Do you use any instant messengers?: | Yes | | If so, which ones?: | MSN | | About how many hours a day do you spend online?: | none to three | | Do you have a digital camera?: | yes | | If so, do you post pictures of yourself online?: | no | | Music | | Do you play any instruments?: | yes | | If so, what one(s)?: | Flute, mandolin, i can make out noises on a trumpet | | 3 Favorite Genres Of Music:: | Old rock, punkish rock, and instrumental | | 3 Favorite Bands:: | Green Day, Jet, WMFA flute choir (i know i know, band geekish) | | Do you go to concerts and/or shows?: | Yes | | What is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show?: | $5 | | What is the least you've ever spent?: | $5 | | Do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny?: | yes | | Do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to?: | yes | | Did you notice the grammatical error in question 29?: | I don't really care | | Word Association | | Blue:: | Maui | | Camera:: | Picture | | Boy:: | Good | | Pretty:: | Smile | | Pants:: | Off | | Music:: | On | | God:: | Where? | | Sweater:: | Itchy | | Live Journal:: | Woohu is better | | MTV:: | Live | | Labels: | | Do you think labels are dumb?: | Sometimes | | Why or why not?: | Because sometimes they are correct, and sometimes not | | What do people label you as?: | Smart/Bitchy/bandgeekish | | How/Why did you get this label?: | Because I am | | Which Is Worse? | | Physical Pain/Emotional Pain?: | Emotional | | Blink-182/Good Charlotte?: | Blink | | Being Deaf/Being Blind?: | Deaf | | Being Bored/Rushing around because you have too much to do?: | Bored | | Losing your dominant leg/Losing your dominant arm?: | Leg | | Love | | Do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"?: | Yes | | Is it better to have loved and lossed than to have never loved at all?: | Yes | | Are you romantic?: | In a dirty way | | Are you in a relationship now?: | Yes | | If so, for how long?: | A month and almost a week | | If not, how long have you been single?: | haven't been | | Are you a virgin?: | Yes | | What song describes your love life right now?: | Very very very good | | Ranomosity | | War: Good or Bad?: | Bad | | What do you think of designer labels?: | I can make it for less | | Who's skankier: Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?: | Paris | | What is it with guys and cars?: | hehe...I don't know, but it's a good thing | | Do you sing?: | Alone | | If so, what part (Soprano 1,Alto 2, et cetera)?: | I don't know | | Kiss or hug?: | Both | | What color is your room?: | pink | | How old is your mom?: | 47 | | Black and white or color photos?: | Black and White | | Who cuts your hair?: | Me | | What color is your toothbrush?: | Purpe | | What color is your hair brush?: | Blue | | What kind of hair products do you use?: | Shampoo, Conditioner, deep conditioner, gel | | Is K-Mart just the poor man's Wal-Mart?: | Sure | | Are you sXe?: | Uhh, no? | | Are you sexy?: | Sure | | What color to people tells you looks nice on you?: | Pretty much all of them | | What color do you think looks nice on you?: | I don't care | | Clothes shopping or grocery shopping?: | Depends on if i'm pmsing or not | | Who do you sit with at lunch? | | Do you like the sound of your own voice when you hear it played back?: | No | | Who has the nicest speaking voice that you know?: | I don't know | | What is the website for one of your favorite bands?: | I don't do that kind of thing, i'm not a freak | | Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?: | Older | | Do you listen to songs on repeat often?: | yes | | Who was the last person you hung out with?: | Rueben | | What did you and that person do?: | Umm...*cough* I don't remember | | Do you use internet shorthand (i.e. "lol", "brb", "jk", et cetera)?: | yes, unfortuneately | | How often do you bathe?: | every or every other day | | Are you a people-pleaser?: | yes | | Do you dye your hair regularly?: | no, never have | | What about your eyebrows?: | no | | Do you wear makeup?: | yes | | If you answered "yes", to #96, are you female?: | I didn't | | Do you buy CDs edited or unedited?: | I don't buy CD's | | Can you beatbox?: | No | | Does your mom like the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast?: | I don't know, I haven't asked her recently |
100 Questions For Your Answering Pleasure! brought to you by BZOINK!
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 9 June :: 6.32pm
| Informationi | | m&ms487 is a restricted area. Authorised personel only |
From Go-Quiz.com
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 3 June :: 5.06pm
:: Mood: awake
So denied
So I lied
Are you the now or never kind?
In a day
And a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing
To be had
Are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast
To all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Put your name
On the line
Along with place and time
Wanna stay
Not to go
I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast
To all those
Who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast
To all those who know me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
God I love that song so much.
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 3 June :: 4.47pm
No more school.
*jumps up and down gleefully*
Melting Pot
*
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*quietly* salad bowl
hehe
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 1 June :: 9.10pm
:: Mood: angry
I really shouldn't be like this. It's quite annoying. To me, to everyone. I don't want to screw all this up. I'm afraid of doing that, so terribly afraid.
Things were a little off today. Okay, a little more than a little off. Today went by SO fast, I don't know where it all went. The scary part is that I don't remember a lot of it. I was closed in, and I wasn't aware of the changing world around me. Sometimes that's good in high school, and yet, it reminds me of a while back. I've been doing a lot of thinking about that lately. Probably brought on my new found happiness and whatnot. I only know two things right now:
1. I never want to be like that again
2. It made me see the other side of things, the darker side of life
I remember waking up the morning after, I keep going back to that.
"We've got work to do"
I love that, "We". I was the only fucking person that did anything. It was my choice in the end, and you left it to me, I don't think you really realize how close I was. I said I wasn't, but I was, and now that I'm back from that, I can look back and forgive you, but I still don't know why you did what you did. I probably don't want to know. God damn it. I wanted out of my fucking life. Didn't that tell you something? I was really fucked up, and you did little more than nothing.
I want all this anger to run out of me, like blood from a wound, just run and pool at my feet and dry and be done with forever. I don't want it anymore. Maybe it's the anger that keeps me going sometimes, but right now it just makes me want to cry. It's getting in the fucking way of everything. I'm letting it, wait, no, I have no control over it.
I think I need an attitude adjustment.
Blah Blah Blah.
School's almost done with. Thank god. I don't think I could stand another week of all that shit. Everyone going behind each other's backs, the pettiness, god, and I hate it when I realize that I did it too.
I only saw it until i was on the outside looking in. Two god damn more years. I'm ready to be out already, hopefully this summer will provide temporary relief, and then i can spend my last years superficially, everything hurts a bit less that way, when it's superficial. It's easier to swallow, to digest. I hate to be the one to look on and past what goes on, but I realize it now more than ever that I can't change it. No one can. They'll do what they do until they change. I hate that. Seeing people waste their live's away, not doing anything. I don't think they're lazy, I think they're scared to live. Even possibly exist. I was once, I know that. But I hid inside myself, they hide behind sex, and drugs, and alcohol, and their petty gossip, and $70 pairs of jeans and high heeled shoes and slutty tanktops and thongs that they know everyone sees because they don't know how else to get the attention. The stupidity, the whiny helplessness. This is where they become real people. These are real people. I AM a real person. I don't appreciate being treated like a damn 13 year old. And you know, it's not the authority's fault, it's my "peers" because they fucking act like it. They're hiding, they don't know how to come out, when they don't realize that all they have to do is take that step. All you have to do is trust yourself and defend yourself, no matter what you think. That's the only kind of respect that's worth receiving. That's the only kind of respect that will stick to you. And that's all what we're looking for in life, isn't it? Respect. It's what we've been starved of our whole lives, that's what causes rebellion, the drugs, the sex. If only we had a little respect, that's what they say. Well, you know how you get respect? You earn it. You earn it from people your respect, people who's idea's count. People who could take you somewhere in life, or better yet, people who YOU could take somewhere in life.
Enough bitching for now. The pool has collected on the floor.
-michelle-
3 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 31 May :: 9.56pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Eve 6- Here's to the night
I wish I hadn't been thinking about that. It brought my whole day down, until you came, that is.
I kept going over all those times in my head. Especially the day after. How you made me cry like that for hours, how, in asking for help, I isolated myself from you. I should be mad at you for that, and I was, but I realize now more than ever, that you are just a person, a fragile person, and I will be stronger from this, and you will just keep on ignoring it, like you did from the beginning. But I'm better now. It's still there, I know, like today, was bad. I wanted to, but yet, I knew that it would make everything harder, a lot harder, and I didn't want to do that. Maybe it was just the day, i hope so. I've been so happy...so very happy, indescribably happy for the past few weeks.
Just go away and leave me be,
I'm happy, so be happy for me.
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 24 May :: 6.45pm
:: Mood: listless
So many things have changed these past few weeks. I'm growing up, and my parents don't like it. I have a boyfriend, my driver's license, a first chair, a beautiful piccolo, some fake tanning lotion, and a straightening iron. There is no telling what kind of damage I could do with all those combined. Everything is going so fast, yet, not fast enough it seems sometimes. I've done things in the past weeks that I didn't think I could ever let myself do. It's a changing time, and I realize it. It scares the hell out of me. I don't want to end up like some of the people I know, and yet I find myself doing things, and thinking of them at the same time, knowing exactly where my actions could take me, into a place, into a life, that I don't want to go. I've been living for the moment, not really planning ahead that much, which is dangerous for me, because when I get to a point in time that I haven't planned for, things can get hectic, and I find myself lost, and unprepared. I think that's one of the things I hate the most, being unprepared. It shows a sign of vulnerablity.
Today was the last monday of my sophmore year that I have to be in school. It was so difficult to play in first hour, and then to react to everything else the rest of the day. It was a long long long day. Mrs. Dolbee gave out "The Grapes Of Wrath" today, I believe I'll be starting that tonight when I go to bed. It'll give me something else to dream about, too, not that my dreams lately have been all that horrible, either, they just make me think to much sometimes, and question the big picture. Sometimes I don't want to think, i just want to go along with everything. I just want to get by.
2 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 24 May :: 4.11pm
:: Mood: confused
I'm guessing that it's never going to get easier.
eh.
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 19 May :: 8.34pm
I am 67% pure.
*jingles keys* I have my driver's license as of 3:30 this afternoon. Other than my instance of depressive thought this evening, the day is going quite well. We even had a tornado drill during 6th hour. That was good. Very good. I got to see Rueben, again, very good. My room is fairly clean, and I have small amounts of homework.
I'm feelin' summer commin' on.
heehaww.
2 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 18 May :: 2.39pm
And then I'll get through today, and I'll get through tomorrow, and the next day, and then the next. An endless circle of survial. For what point? I"m not exactly sure, but if the journey takes me this long, I can't wait to see what's waiting for me at the end.
1 orgiastical |
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m&ms487
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2004 16 May :: 9.21pm
:: Mood: loved
Just a day/Just an ordinary day/Just tryin' to get by
I don't think you understand how much this is driving me crazy. I bet it's driving you crazy too. It better be.
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 16 May :: 5.29pm
:: Mood: bouncy
Gunny: Don't taint our Rueben
Rob: ..just...don't whore him up too much
Charlie: Girls are evil. Rueben's a nice guy.
*giggles* But I'm a NICE girl. I would never do anything like THAT.
6 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 16 May :: 11.52am
:: Mood: content
I kept waking up and thinking you were still there last night. It was disappointing to roll over and find just a pile of blankets.
Band concert today at two.
Come watch me dance and fall on my ass.
-michelle-
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 12 May :: 9.08pm
:: Mood: drained
I've learned so many things in the past few months, about me, about others. I happy that I have that chance. I'm happy that I'm still here, and I can look out the window into the shrouded light and green, and new life, and I can take one moment of happiness, and make all the other mistakes and bad things go away. Maybe just for once, but once is enough to realize it.
In other news, rueben and i are going out now.
heh, not much more needs to be said about that.
8 orgiasticals |
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m&ms487
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2004 12 May :: 7.05pm
:: Mood: content
*There is a folder sitting on Babbit's heater with a picture drawn on it*
Bill:Hey, look, someone drew a picture of Hitler on their folder!
Me: Actually, I think that's Mr. Babbit.
3 orgiasticals |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 11 May :: 8.48pm
| What is your favorite.. | | gum: | Orbit-the green kind | | restaurant: | i don't know | | drink: | Smoothie...hehe | | season: | Summer | | type of weather: | Sunny and 62 degrees | | emotion: | Elation | | thing to do on a half day: | Go to value land with lisa.... | | late-night activity: | hehe....need I say anything here? | | sport: | Tennis | | city: | Charlevoix | | store: | Bath and Body Works | | When was the last time you.. | | cried: | Last night | | played a sport: | When i played tennis with lisa a few weeks ago | | laughed: | Talking with my brother before he left for work a few hours ago | | hugged someone: | This morning. | | kissed someone: | not for a while... | | felt depressed: | Two minutes ago | | felt elated: | This morning at approximately 7:21..heh | | felt overworked: | Right now | | faked sick: | I don't. | | lied: | Umm..can't say, but it was about an hour ago... | | What was the last.. | | word you said: | no | | thing you ate: | tooth paste..didn't really eat it, but, yeah, that dental hygene is a must | | song you listened to: | Sway by Vanessa Carlton | | thing you drank: | Water | | place you went to: | School | | movie you saw: | Some movie about cloning on Lifetime this afternoon, right before the documentary on Hitler | | movie you rented: | Final Destination II...eh...blood, icky | | concert you attended: | Does my flute choir concert count? if not...Fuzzy Logic at the Kent on Halloween | | Who was the last person you.. | | hugged: | Rueben | | cried over: | ...someone being mean to me. No names. | | kissed: | ex boyfriend | | danced with: | Shae | | shared a secret with: | Jessie, of course | | had a sleepover with: | Jessie | | called: | Jessie | | went to a movie with: | Jessie | | saw: | My mother | | were angry with: | Charlie | | couldn't take your eyes off of: | heh.....they know who they are | | obsessed over: | I'm thinkin' we all know... | | Have you ever.. | | danced in the rain: | yes | | kissed someone: | yes | | done drugs: | yes | | drank alcohol: | yes | | slept around: | no | | partied 'til the sun came up: | yes | | had a movie marathon: | yes | | gone too far on a dare: | no | | spun until you were immensely dizzy: | all the time | | taken a survey quite like this before: | yes |
The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety! brought to you by BZOINK!
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 11 May :: 7.35pm
:: Music: ordinary day-vanessa carlton
Smells....yummy stuff.
I'm thinking that I just put on some sweet pea hand lotion, some strawberry lip gloss, and my hair smells really good.
*shrugs*
eh, what can ya do?
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 9 May :: 5.06pm
That was the best weekend I've had in so long. I love being sixteen and I love having parents who understand, well, most of the time.
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 6 May :: 5.40pm
Jessie is making me tell you this...
Last weekend Jessie spent the night to come to my flute choir concert. That night, we were lying in bed and we were about to fall asleep. All the sudden, my leg twitched! I kicked the wall really really hard. It was so FUCKING hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing!
So there is my random leg twitching story for all of you to review, good day.
1 orgiastical |
don't question bruce dickenson
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m&ms487
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2004 5 May :: 7.33pm
Damn it, nothing is going right..and your happiness is making me sick, really. Just...i don't know...go away.
Can i cuddle with you or something....?
:(
1 orgiastical |
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m&ms487
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2004 5 May :: 7.21pm
:: Mood: content
I took my nail polish off.
It almost seems that teacher have such a strong distain for senioritis, they give the rest of us PILES of homework that isn't humanly possible to complete. Example: I had 4 hours of homework last night. Did I do it? Only the important stuff, because, i wanted to bath, to eat, oh, and maybe, relax......
Anyway, they're just gonna have to deal with it. It's the end of the year, we have 19 days left, and half of them we won't be doing anything anyway. We just need to be done and out of here, everyone wants to be, and I wouldn't mind it, except everyone's attitudes are just going to shit, and everyone's getting bitchy, and pissy, and being jackasses....
And don't get me wrong, it's catching, it includes me.
-michelle-
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