goodbye
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2014 30 January :: 7.25am
I can't be something to you now, I'm just gone.
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2ofus
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2013 24 December :: 11.56pm
Here I sit. Another Xmas eve and I come to think of what I really want. And for once in my life I can say I don't any material thing. I only want one thing, in this new year. A kiss with meaning behind it. A kiss that when it happens, I feel lighter on my feet, my lips tingle and my heart says, "yes! This! This one, keep her and never let her go!"
I would give almost anything to feel that way again.
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skife
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2013 15 December :: 11.03pm
a friend of mine post this on facebook a few days ago...
i read it and realised that i'm an introvert...
life made alot of sense afterwards.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/problems-only-introverts-will-understand
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skife
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2013 3 December :: 8.11pm
every day... i'm miserable.
3 comments |
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goodbye
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2013 1 December :: 10.23pm
Back home. I gotta get a jorb.
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goodbye
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2013 23 November :: 9.26pm
Don't you wish you had enough courage to tell all those assholes you're friends with on Facebook that they're all cunts and you hate everything about them and all the bullshit they post? And you get so close to it when you're drunk and still find that you're a goddamn chickenshit who everyone would be better off not knowing? And that you actually hate everything. Except for your family and true friends? I just want to punch the living shit out of a stranger tonight. I want the purge to be real and I want to be the one to experience someone else's sacrafice. I fucking hate them.
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2ofus
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2013 12 November :: 1.09am
I've been listening to them a lot lately. She has a nice voice. Its very nice too listen to while falling asleep. Makes me want to make out and cuddle. Some day soon.
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goodbye
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2013 8 November :: 4.13pm
CHOCOLATE.
1 comment |
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goodbye
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2013 5 November :: 8.56am
Wake up, stumble to the bathroom, wonder why it's so bright, take my eye mask off, suddenly SNOW.
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2ofus
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2013 5 November :: 12.38am
Being alone for extended periods of time is good for a person, in my opinion. It helps you define who you are based on nothing but yourself. Your not trying to impress anyone, make anyone happy, or compromise yourself to please others. It is a good pain. Believe me it is painful. You are trapped in a cocoon of your own concoction. But once you find it in yourself to be who you are and what you want. You become a beautiful moth, or butterfly, or anything you want to be, because fuck other people. You are awesome as FUCK.
Only then can you truly be happy. Only then can you go back to your friends and relationships and be a better person. Yes, you still have flaws. Everyone does. What you need to realize is that its your flaws that define you as a person. Its what makes you unique. You may be good at something and so are a lot of other people, but no one, NO ONE, has the same flaws as you. When you meet that person that sees your flaws as a attribute, and not something to be changed, that you know they are the one for you. I am still looking for that person to join me in thinking that my flawed attributed are fricken rad.
Until then, I have me. I make me the happiest, because I know what makes me happy or sad. Angry or Lovey. No one can make me feel better then I can. No one can make me feel worse then I can either. Its power. Supreme power over yourself. With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility. Wield it well, and understand, no one else can affect it unless you let them.
Edit: but do not get lost in the lonliness. See it for what it is. A tool to help define yourself. Not a definition. Its a Word, you decide what it is defined as.
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2ofus
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2013 4 November :: 12.31am
Wow, haven't been on this site for a while. Not sure what brought me back. I guess I just need to write stuff down.
I do most of my thinking at night. And ive had a lot of thinking time recently. My mind wanders. It takes me every which way. Recently it reviewed the Halloween party. It was fun, and the more I think about it, everyone was nice to me, except Lauren. Every chance she got she was insulting me or just talking bad about me. At least in the interaction I had. I know I may deserve some, but damn, it's been 2 years. Meh. Amelia seem cool. She may have drank a bit to much, but the conversation we had was nice.
I've also seemed to notice attached females seems to hit on me more then single. It's about a 3 to 1 ratio. I know most of it is playful banter. I think the ratio is skewed because I know maybe 2 single females.
Friday night was fun. First time gambling and broke even. Then fun afterwards. I got a good boost in confidence and realized sometimes I just need to be more confident and assertive. Its an attractive quality. I shouldn't be so nervous and just act sometimes.
When laying in bed listening to Zero7, like now. It makes me want a girlfriend. I want someone I can lay next to and just stare and kiss and hold hands. Talking into the wee hours of the morning. Brushing the back of my finger lightly aginst her check and bringing to the back of her head, pulling her onto a kiss... That'd be nice. I miss kisses with meaning and feeling behind them.
With that I'm off to the land of dreams. Goodnight all and be well.
Ryan.
8 comments |
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goodbye
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2013 28 October :: 12.07pm
"Sometimes you need to step outside, clear your head, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be."
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goodbye
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2013 13 October :: 7.13pm
If he was in the same situation, he wouldn't listen to me either.
Sometimes I wish there would just be support from his end and not judgment. I live in constant fear of saying the wrong thing... that it will lead to a disagreement... that I will feel worse by telling him something.
Instead...
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goodbye
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2013 2 October :: 8.08pm
Until Friday, I wouldn't say I've ever really "made love". I can't describe it in a way that you can understand... it's something you must experience for yourself. It was as if no one else existed in that moment but us. The whole world disappeared... it just melted away... there were only our bodies, our breaths, our love.
It felt like... an explosion of stars.
1 comment |
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spud
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2013 18 September :: 9.01pm
who vs. whom
i am guilty of using who instead of whom often, but not inappropriately using whom. i mostly use it when it's following a preposition. but still. do it for the bourbon. do it for the moustaches.
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