godessalthena
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2011 6 August :: 2.09pm
Feeling particularly homesick today..
I woke up from a nightmare. I was a judge and I was listening to a case that was really all about politics so I was learning about keeping blonde hair healthy. Then this man runs in and yells "atomic anthrax" and explodes. Everyone is running to get out, but all the marble pillars are toppling and no one can escape. Then these terrorists dressed like white ninjas and other forms of eastern warriors come out with swords blazing. I fight some off and make my way to a hidden projection room where we are trying to think of a way to escape. Then my alarm goes off and I wake up.
I'm filled with rage this morning. I miss Seattle and I'm so angry with myself for moving back to Spokane. I miss everything about it. What makes it worse is I know it's such a long way away and I know that I may not ever get back there, especially of the economy gets worse. I feel so alone and abandoned. I feel like I have nothing left to look forward to. I'm stuck with all these overwhelming bills, bad credit and this apartment I can't afford on my own. I just fell so drowned. I have too much responsiblity. I feel like I'm 45.. Both physically and mentally.
For once I'd just like to catch a break. To get something positive to come my way and let me be happy for at least a little while. I feel like that's askin too much. I feel like nothing will ever be easy for me. Nothing will ever just come to me. I will have to work hard every day for my entire life just to get a step closer to happiness. It isn't fair. It's never going to fucking be fair.
and tha sun got brighter then
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