Toki
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2004 11 May :: 7.26pm
:: Mood: Tired
My teeth hurt. Really insanely bad. It feels like they're about to be ripped out of my head. I HATE BRACES!!! >.<
Hmm.. In other news...I haven't written in here for a long time. I don't like that.
So this year I've had the longest birthday ever. Well, with my family. It finally ended yesterday with a card my mom forgot to give me. I don't know, it's kinda cool. Birthdays should be 4 days long all the time. It should be a law.
I need a tutor for algebra...any volunteers?? :-( The idiot needs a tutor...yep. Ms. Stone called me down today to tell me that I'm an idiot and need extra help and maybe shouldn't take trig next year.
I really don't like the sisters. They're jerks. They're saying how I looked really "crappy" at turnabout and how I looked like I just woke up and stuck my head in a microwave. Thanks guys. I love you too.
La ti da.
Did you know Gabbie wears thongs? O.O A little too much info for us all, but she kinda just shouted it out to the world. thought I should corrupt others.
Anyone have a gun??? oh...wait...never the mind. The sisters and the friend left...phew I am safe.
What is wrong with the world these days? Have morals just gone out the window?
I feel like an old lady, lol.
-Patrice
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toki
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2004 9 May :: 5.35pm
So...I'm bored. And I decide to go to the libertyville band site. And grrrr...they have the pictures from theirs tupid bahama cruise that we were supposed to go on. :'(
It made me sad. And they played pirates and chicago there..those poo heads. I just want to say that we were ten times better.
It's not fair. It's really not. I want to leave this stupid place with people who aren't my family. Theatre fest was so mcuh fun for that reason. And blah.
I hate trumpets. -.-
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toki
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2004 7 May :: 12.29am
Grrrrrr..... >.<
Okie, night!
You're all awesome, btw. :-)
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mudpiegrl
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2004 6 May :: 1.24am
this one's about PMS...
its good too...and read the other one in the entry previous to this.
1 Pirate |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 6 May :: 1.18am
hey
my email sent me this
its interesting...
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mudpiegrl
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2004 5 May :: 7.21pm
So i noticed something while i was eating my toast today right after school.
1> the bread never has two bubbles exactly the same size, sort of like we dont have the same fingerprints, eye patterns, or voice waves.
2> if you cut the bread, splitting one bubble perfectly in half, the rest of the bubbles will never line up evenly, not to mention the fact that the bubble are not circles anyway.
3> every bubble has its own expansion, some moving into other bubbles, making one, others idling singley, but happily.
so what does this mean?
attempt to figure it out before scrolling down.
1> we can't expect to achieve the same things, no matter how hard we try. one person may be good at sports (perfect split) but suck at soemthing else (not so perfect). but there are different degrees of splits...
2> sort of the same, but one piece of bread will have more talent than the other side. sometimes, there isnt even a tad included in the other side that is in the one.
3> we all have our comfort zones, and its not just a space issue. its more of how we mingle, including how often we mingle...
yes...that is it.
mmm...peanut butter...mmm...cinnamon!
2 Pirates |
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mudpiegrl
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2004 5 May :: 7.13pm
:: Mood: frustrated
so im going to write three entries, because i really have a lot to say, one of which will be private because, yes i dont want you to read.
yes
~*~YOU~*~
YOU, who complains that you're lonely, then whine about your friends. YOU who want love, but mope so no one can talk to you. YOU want success, but you spend more time crying than trying to achieve the goal. YOU, wanting attention, but shying from it when it is offered to you. So what do YOU want? I'm getting so incredibly frustrated, listening to you whine about what you dont have, and what you wish you had. Live your damn life because it's all thats real. if you continue, you'll be ninety and whining about how you missed out because you spent your life complaining.
2 Pirates |
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toki
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2004 5 May :: 12.08am
:: Mood: Tired
Pooeyness
so I figure..I'm online for a bit, why not write? I know I should be sleeping, because yes...I am exhausted...but shush. I want none of your common sense. Poo heads. Hehe.
So today, in a sense, wasn't bad. I've been trying to be more optimistic...look at the small good things, ya know? Ok so here's a list...
1. Homework not checked in algebra
2.Onyly a worksheet for homework
3/ Felt smart in Lit today
4. Kenny wasn't here! :-)
5. Watched movie in history and chemistry.
6. Came up with a crazy theory about school in america, I was proud.
7. NO MORE BAUER FOR REST OF YEAR!!! :-) WOOOO! But I still feel bad, considering she's havign surgery...so get better Bauer!!! :-)
After that, it was kinda just ________...Ya know? Oh well. Good things did happen.
Tech rehearsals are going on. Final dress tomorrow. =-O It's scary. Like boo! Ahh! Yeah.
I really want this show to just end, but I'm gonna be so sad. I don't know, it should last forever. Stress is fun! ;-P Plus..yeah... well..never mind.
Tomorrow I'm suposed to dress like my favorite senior. I don't think I will. What can I do that's distinctive, you know? yeah, plus I'm tired. Lol. So screw it. I do love all you seniors though. Just not enough to wake up earlier then normal and actually think.
I have country stuck in my head. Woo...country..::rolls eyes:: It's better then Joseph atleast.
I had weird dreams in Algebra today.
Ok...to bed. I'm tired and not feeling too good. So good night. sweet dreams.
-Patrice
1 Pirate |
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toki
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2004 2 May :: 7.20pm
BTW...I sent in money for whoever I said I would. If it gets there before May 8th, you are all safe.
1 Pirate |
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toki
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2004 2 May :: 6.30pm
:: Mood: pissed off
I need to get out of here. I'm gonna explode. I already have and I'm screwed. I hate my dad. I hate him so much right now. He's the biggest jerk in the world.
He's downstairs bitching that I have no sense of responsibility because i don't have a job or a license, I'm a complete and total failure. That all I think about is my friends and theatre, that I'm not focused or anything. Then amanda gets in on it and goes on abotu how I'm 17 and I don't have a job or a license and grrr....You know what? Which daughter is goign to college? Not Amanda. Nope. She has no right to tell me I'm not responsible. She's teh one who slacked off in high school, screwing her over for life. So do you know what I told her? "I'm not the irresponsable one, because atleast I'm going to college" :-P
Yeah, I know it's immature, but I really don't care. I've been mature long enough with these people and they've pushed me far enough. I'm not gonna take it anymore.
I try to be patient, I really do. There's only so much of this shit that they throw on me that I can handle. My brother was sitting there hitting me and hurting me for ten minutes telling me I'm a failure and that my dad was gonna kill me and that I was fat, ugly, stupid....and I don't know. And I hit him. I admit, I shouldn't have. But I can't take his shit anymore. he's 11 years old. I'm 5 years older then him. Five years and he treats me like I'm a stupid piece of shit and I'm not gonna take it anymore.
Now I'm grounded for a month because they pushed me to my limit. I'M grounded because they pushed me so far that I just gave up. Have they ever once thought to back off...maybe it'll all be okay? Maybe I'd be happy to go home and not do anything in my power to avoid coming here.
Don't tell me right now that I have no right to complain, I know you probably have it worse. But right now I hate them. And I don't care anymore. I don't fucking care.
I need to get out of here. I can't stand this.
2 Pirates |
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toki
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2004 2 May :: 12.40am
:: Mood: blank
A journal is a place for my thoughts..right?
So here goes...honestly...I feel insanely crappy right now. I'm just not good. And I can't exactly tell you why.
I just can't think straight right now and my mood is totally completly down.
It's been crappy for a while and I don't know, it's not getting much better. Maybe a little, but it's still there.
I don't want to bring others down with me, so ignore my moodiness. I guess it helps to be lonely, I'm used to it.
Tonight was fun, but I still feel just down. Angry and bitter and sad and lonely.
I apologize. I don't mean to bring more shit to your life, I know you want to enjoy your life. So continue on with your ignoring. I want you guys to be happy.
I don't have anything else to say.
-Patrice
1 Pirate |
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toki
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2004 1 May :: 12.31am
:: Mood: cynical
:: Music: Blackbird
Why cynical? I've never used it before. And I guess it describes me...sure...
Yeah, I'm really tired. So this is gonna be quick.
Wow, I'm more tired then I thought. I think I should sleep, not that I'm gonna get much anyways. >.< Grrr
I listened to Les Mis last night. It was cool. I loved Les Mis. They were good times at the time. And I don't really regret much from back then. I don't know.
Jessica's party was fun. Making fun of Benny...talking to Carl...losing Jessica's Connect Four pieces...lol.
Ok....I cannot keep my eyes open any longer. I think I'd be ok if I wasn't so bored, but alas. I have a curfew. Poo. So to bed because I have no life.
Good night.
-Patrice
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mudpiegrl
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2004 30 April :: 4.11pm
KING OF FRANCE
We'll give them present audience. Go, and bring them.
Exeunt Messenger and certain Lords
You see this chase is hotly follow'd, friends.
DAUPHIN
Turn head, and stop pursuit; for coward dogs
Most spend their mouths when what they seem to threaten
Runs far before them. Good my sovereign,
Take up the English short, and let them know
Of what a monarchy you are the head:
Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin
As self-neglecting.
~William Shakespeare
~King Henry V, Act 2. Scene IV
>For More...
2 Pirates |
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toki
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2004 29 April :: 11.35pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Here Is Gone
O.o;;
I don't really feel sick sick..just like, I don't know. I'm not feeling too good either way, so whatever. Why do I feel the need to explain my mood? I don't know.
I can not, for the life of me, concentrate on my damn paper. My brain is way too full, but of all the wrong things. Who cares about Daisy and her symbolic bad driving? Not Patrice. So what can I do? Just try to force this paper out of my head.
GAAH! Fuck this! I quit.
I don't know what to say, what to do, what to think.
Good bye.
-Me
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toki
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2004 29 April :: 12.18am
:: Mood: indifferent
:: Music: Funeral For A Friend
Purple Monkeys Run The Zoo
Today was just...today. I feel so drained, meaning I should sleep so I don't fall asleep during my test.
So...ACT....was crappy. Afterwards the Quizno's was oh so good. Veggie with no dressing...hellls yeah. Hehe.
And there's a scrapbook store in Vernon Hills. Didn't know that. It's expensive though. I don't know. Theys gots some cool stuff there though.
The pet store....oh wow. The kittens were so sweet, everytime I go there I'm on the verge of tears just because I feel so bad for the cats who are 6 years old and people won't adopt them because they always want kittens and the older cats live their whole lives in cages. And I want to take them all home with me...and yeah. Then this lady walks in with a cage with two cats and yeah. It was so sad, because she was bringing them in so they could be adopted because she couldn't keep them anymore. It was so sad. I cried, yes I admit it. I cried.
I am very weak emotionally. I've discovered that. It kinda sucks.
Yeah, so then we played war with pictures and just sat around being lazy. Which was fun. Lazy is good to be sometimes.
It was weird, I was telling Jill about hospitals and stuff and I answered the question she asked but I kept talking. Eventually after 20 minutes of my rambling and them pretending to listen, I told them every last gory detail about freshman year/summer before 10th grade. I don't know, I never could really talk about it before and I just spit it out. I don't know if they cared or were even listening, but it felt kinda good.
I hated freshman year. No offense to any friends, but it was just bad. And it scares me. Alot. It still does, even though I should be pretty much over it.
I don't know, it's one of those things that could happen again at anytime and things will just Woosh all over again. I don't know. I'm shutting up. No one cares anyways and I don't even know what I'm saying right now. I know what I'm thinking and what I want to say, but I don't know. Hmm.. Ok...no more.
Anyways....so yeah...I was late to rehearsal where it was just...rehearsal. I hate it. But you all know that.
Then we went to go get free ice cream...Jill, Chris, Wender, and I. It was good. Then Jill and Wender kinda disappeared and it was weird, I was left with Chris.... ::Shudders:: Hehe. Nooo, It was fun. Hul and Kyle showed up and it was a party on a stick. Let me tell you. Hopefully those girls don't tell my sister I was there. That'd be bad.
Oh well. You know what? I don't give a fuck if my parents find out. I don't care anymore.
I should really sleep for the test tomorrow. Wooo PSAE! :-P Someone wanna kill me? Please?! Pooo...Okie...good night.
-Patrice
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