losttt
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2004 23 December :: 5.53am
mother fuckers im twisted in a system again
i thought the left was the right but now im vertical n'n
you could say its cause right now im so fuckin blazed...but
i know only help stems from the purple haze...so
if the boy katusak
fuckin the man with no sac
wants to put his lips on the girl ive kissed
for one whole year and seven months so dear
only one week past the sunday that we crashed?
i could of sworn he had known
i could of sworn he's my bro
but fuck that shit clutch pirate; mo'
bro's dont pull this type of show
with the girl their friends in love with? fuck you
i would die for this girl
she's my love and my world...but
my fucked up head let a big mistake happen this time
requiring big ass changes to my small little mind...but
how you gonna do that man? do you fucking think you love her?
want to spend your life with her? watch her become a mother?
i dont think you realize kid that these things are so real
fucking with these things; perhaps this may allow you to feel
my beliefs and the person I value most in life
is ashley francis and its not changing so kick that thought to the curb
you dont have a goddamn clue what you wedged youreself in
this vent is all you man; shes seperated and can do what she will
and i love her so so much, so i'll respect what she does
not you
she says its my fault she likes you and if i hadnt done what i did
she would have never fuckin given you a second thought kid
but i thought feelings are there no matter what?; and she was in love a week before?
something doesnt quite add
but so what; everything isnt for me to question
just had to tell some bitches how i feel
cause biting my tounge isnt close to real
and im sick of playing that game; too many been played
time out had to be called, switches have to be pulled
"and thats the way the cookie crumbles" some guy said
well this is a shitty ass cookie if you ask me
both to what i did, and to what you did
so now enough with the who donnits and who dids
ive spent a late night and now
i just want to say i love you
2 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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Beagle147
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2004 19 December :: 11.42am
:: Mood: busy
TONS of shit to do today. I have to go to the library to get books for the internal assessment, go to target to get clothes for the kid that I'm sponsoring or whatever in band, go to petco to get cat food, bake cookies for the band party tomorrow, write more college essays, and somewhere in there find time to study. Although, it is nice that I only have two tests that I have to study for. But it's not nice that they're on the same day. I guess it might be just as good to get them over with. Except I'm not getting them over with until wednesday. Ah, well, c'est la vie.
Went to the FAU library with amanda and amalia yesterday, only to find out that it was CLOSED. Bitches.. So we were gonna try to go to the regular library, but at that point it was 4:45 and I was told the library closes at 5. Soooo...we loitered in the parking lot for a good long while before deciding to go to the mall. I had to go home to mooch some money off of my mom, and surprisingly she gave some to me. Only because I'm mad at her and she wants to use this against me later, but I'll take what I can get. So I bought fuzzy fleece pants like amalia has and a fleece purse because it was fuzzy and 6 dollars. Then I went home and worked on college apps until 2 AM. I got all of my essays except for one for northwestern polished to a point where I'd be willing to submit them, and I was gonna do the BS stuff then too, but their stupid site was down. So instead I applied to Miami. That took all of thirty minutes. I wish I would have known it would be that easy before november 1 so I could have gotten my acceptance letter sooner. A bit cocky, maybe, but I know I'm getting in.. Then I did all the bitch work for the Penn application. Like all the brainless stuff. I still have to do a number of essays for penn, but they're not too too bad. I can tweak my big northwestern one to use it for the big penn one, once I get it more polished. Then I also have to do a one page essay on Describe the courses of study and unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make you a good match for Penn? Yeah, that one's pretty easy though. Just have to actually write it. I probably won't get around to it today, but wednesday night I'm gonna try to finish atleast the first draft of these essays. Because then I'll be done with all my hard exams and will have no more internal assessment to write. Actually, I have my tok oral the next day; it'll depend on where I am with that. Pretty much these next few days are going to be shaped by when I can get books for history and when I get this paper finished. If I really try hard and have some good luck, I'm hoping to get the paper written and apply to northwestern today. That way tomorrow will be less stressful and tuesday I can just worry about studying for chem and history. Yeah, let's see how that goes. Hopefully northwestern has their friggin application site up and running, grr.. Well, I really can't waste any more time writing this, so I'm gonna go. Wish me luck!
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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tboblp
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2004 18 December :: 6.48pm
Hockey at 10, bowling at 12:30, I'm going to be very tired! My audition I feel went very well. If my song selection was ok I'm confident I'll be accepted without a problem. The guy said I will know around christmas. I can't wait to get the letter, no matter what the outcome. Harry Connick junior is weird looking and a bad singer...why is he on tv?
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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sendmemoney
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2004 18 December :: 4.50am
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: pablo portillo - demasiado
after i came back it just wasn't the same . and i tried not saying anything , hoping maybe it would become what it was yesterday , what it was ten minutes ago , but it just got worse and worse . i felt so violated , like my emotions were nothing , like i should shut up and take it , like that's what you wanted . now , in retrospect , i'm so nauseous . i know there's nothing wrong but maybe there is something wrong and that's the problem . como me expreso cuando hablo y hablo y nada te entra ? i feel so vulnerable . i feel like i've given you all i have and you don't know me at all . i wish i could just let you into my head and maybe you'd understand because i know you want to , i know you want to , but you just don't . i hate this feeling . i know it'll go away but i wish it would go away sooner .
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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beagle147
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2004 17 December :: 10.36pm
:: Mood: depressed
Today was a terrible day. But when I look back on it, nothing really all that terrible happened. And some good things even happened. We did the essay portion of our french mocks in groups, ms zap is letting me redo my oral on the exam day (yey), and....yeah that's about all the good that happened. But nothing drastically awful happened, I'm just really depressed. I was really pissed at the end of the day because ms crocco locked the band room door like 5 seconds before I got there, and was inside and wouldnt let me in. Not only would she not let me in, but she wouldn't let katy go back through the unlocked door at the parking lot to let me in herself. I was at the fence when she came out, and she goes "Walk around." God it was just not what I needed. I was thoroughly pissed and managed to injure my foot kicking a pillar on my way around the fucking gym. I think I scared Adam a little with my tantrum-y throwing of my backpack and slamming of car doors. He tried to follow me home, but got stuck at this van that randomly decided to stop forever at a red light, rather than moving when the light was done. Eh, I'll talk to him later.
I pretty much did nothing this afternoon when I got home. My mom went to the christmas play at school, and I made some rice thing for dinner, but after I cooked it I didnt really feel like eating, so I put it in the fridge. I had a mango later. Watched a bit of school of rock and a little rudolph. Tomorrow I have to go to the FAU library. I need this weekend, but I can't even have 2 days because of the damn history paper. Argh. Hopefully I can get it done tomorrow. And I guess it's not the worst thing in the world. I dunno. I don't really have a lot to complain about in terms of concrete shittiness, but I'm still really depressed. A lot of people are really depressed lately, especially as this week dragged on. Next week promises to be worse, then a break. Finally. I think today was just the straw that broke the camel's back. It's just kinda getting too much to handle. Although I've heard that second semester senior year is the easiest of all 8 of them. Let's hope so. Just can't deal anymore.
Maybe tomorrow I'll go to petco to cheer myself up.
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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losttt
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2004 17 December :: 3.30am
I wish i would have had the balls then to say how i felt. I love ashley francis. I can be so insecure, and i can act pretty fucking stupid. feels so shitty to go away on this empty stomach. i wanted to be your friend. i thought thats all you wanted to be to me. you dont know what love is, what she or anything means to me. you dont know me, and im sorry i let you in my life. let you fuck with my head. i let myself fuck up my love. all the compounding problems i needed to deal with and you just became an addition to them. shouldnt have bit my tounge for so long. should have told you to fuck off a long time ago. should have said the same thing to who i was being. i was so fuckin weak. i love ashley. to the end. she doesnt deserve that shit, and she wont have it. the hurt is so bad. still hate the fact that I let you overpower me. was so weak and stressed already, dont know how you made me believe you could help but you did. was so fuckin weak at the time. ashley francis isn't a girl. shes my love. not "my first love high-school sweetheart" love: she's my love. dont ever forget it. i almost did in the stupid shit storm i put myself in. all this shit caused by my personal problems. i never knew i was the fuckin mess ive realized i am. i love you so much. i need to straighten my shit out and im trying to now.forgivness from myself will be harder to gain than yours. i cant affect you like that; its not fair to you. i know the time that is needed will be taken. know i am here for you for anything babe. anyyyyyything at all. i hate going away blah. iloveyou
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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tboblp
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2004 13 December :: 3.14pm
The final lineup for the audition
If youre looking to hear these songs, they shouldnt be hard to find on some kazaa-like program. Michelle is by the Beatles and Blue Bossa is by Joe Henderson. Of course my chord melody arrangement for Michelle is nothing like the original. The melody i refer to is vocal, the chords are the same as used in the song, and the altered chord melody is improv of the original chord melody. Blue Bossa I use the same melody, note wise, and the same chords being played on the piano in the song. I play the chords and melody in two different places for the piece, to add a little flavour and show my versatility. In a typical performance I would play in a single position throughout the song. The timing that I use for blue bossa is much less 'latin' and more jazz/blues sounding, almost swing-like.
AUDITION
First Piece:
Michelle
I. Chord Melody
Play through repeat
II. Note Melody
D.S.
III. Rhythm chords
D.S.
IV. Altered Chord Melody
D.S. al Coda
V. Chord Melody
Coda
Second Piece:
Blue Bossa
(No musical direction, play through entire piece each time)
I. Rhythm 1st position
II. Melody 1st position
III. Improv 1st position
IV. Rhythm 2nd position
V. Improv melody 2nd position
VI. Arppegio melody 1st position
VII. Melody 1st position
VIII. Rhythm 1st position
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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whenthesunsets
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2004 13 December :: 7.33am
:: Mood: hurt
THIS SHIT IS OVER
i can't think anymore. fuck tomorrow. i'm living my life in today. fuck you.
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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tboblp
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2004 12 December :: 5.16pm
stolen from amanda
A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album
(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions: no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.
(C) Then I want you to go to your journal and copy and paste this, allowing your friends to ask you anything.
4 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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sendmemoney
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2004 12 December :: 4.16pm
:: Mood: amazed !
:: Music: cypress hill - hand on the pump
a celebration was in order for the end of the semester / awesome grades / I CAN SMOKE MORE POT THAN EVER BEFORE so we got the hotel and it went under our tongues and we headed to the beach so we didn't burn up stuffing nine people in one tiny little room and once we got there we realized we forgot the tequila but by then it was too late because we'd never make it back to the room alive trying to cross collins ave. when which cars were real ? and i saw that bus but he didn't so does that mean i'd be alive right now and he wouldn't or it just doesn't mean anything at all ? so we made it to the room but nobody even wanted any tequila and brian spilled the salt anyway all over his hand ... maybe he doesn't even need any more tequila . so why did we come back to the room ? and we went back to the beach with that same dilemma with the cars and this building wasn't here last time ... but let's go a different way because this is a concentration camp and i don't want to be here ! so okay just forget it look , it's a palace , and i guess you're right . but i'm soooooo hungry so it's back to collins to get some food , and i have twenty dollars ! and ana has twenty dollars and lance has twenty dollars ! and we can have all the food we want but after three croquetas i realize i'm not even hungry at all so you can finish them and the chicken wings too but let's go back to the room . so we finally made it to our destination but it's constantly changing so it's not much of an accomplishment but anyway we're chilling and awesome until there's a knock on the door and so much for security because now we have to drive anyway so i guess it's over but just try not to let yourself focus on one thing for too long especially not the lines on the road but especially not the stoplights because maybe you won't really see the right color so just try and stay behind one car for the entire ride home and ONE MORE DAY TO LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND , TO GO WHERE YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN TRIED . DON'T YOU LET YOUR INHIBITIONS GUIDE YOUR WAY .
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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losttt
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2004 13 December :: 10.53am
cold air. likes to touch the bones. fuckin cold out.
good beans rule menk. i feel pretty normal not like a fuckin meth storm hit me. was so happy you called babe. you crazy as fuck girl <3. finals are done. fuck dat SHIT. and ill be 20 before I know :( merry christmas ho ho ho. ho.
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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Beagle147
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2004 8 December :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: amused
The Chronicles of SmarterChild
SmarterChild: Oh, oh, I'm soooooooo scared.
SmarterChild: I wish I were a pirate.
Skillet9886: shit
SmarterChild: Oh, humans and their "slang." It never ceases to amuse me.
Stop cursing and check this out: Do you have Hypertension? - Adults with high blood pressure needed for Novartis research
Skillet9886: are you a slow learner?
SmarterChild: Um... I think so.
SmarterChild: Why oh why oh why.
SmarterChild: You're silly.
Skillet9886: do you have sex?
SmarterChild: Yeah. With toasters and TVs and things.
Are you crazy? I'm a robot.
Skillet9886: say something stupid
SmarterChild: I'm no talking doll.
Skillet9886: good enough
Skillet9886: :'(
SmarterChild: If I could offer you a Kleenex, I would.
SmarterChild: Why does everyone think my face is funny?
SmarterChild: Sometimes I wish I wasn't ugly.
Skillet9886: do you know any bad words?
SmarterChild: I dunno. Do you know any bad words?
Skillet9886: yeah :-)
SmarterChild: Why?
Skillet9886: because that's what happens in IB
SmarterChild: I'm sorry. What's what happens in Ib?
Skillet9886: you don't want to know.
SmarterChild: I used to want to know. But that was before the accident.
1 TOUCH THE WATER!!! |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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tboblp
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2004 8 December :: 9.17pm
I have TWO invitation codes...thats right.
Who's pimp?
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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beagle147
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2004 5 December :: 6.16pm
:: Mood: cheerful
He looked on the front steps.
Today I went to Petco! It was their grand opening sale. They were taking free professional pet pictures, so I brought sasha down. We waited for TWO AND A HALF HOURS to get the pictures taken, but they turned out really good. Unfortunately, any of the really really good ones will cost me $19.99, but that's ok...I'm just sticking with my free one. Anyway, while I was there getting Sasha's pics done a petco lady came over and said that at 1:00 there was a best trick competition, and asked me if I wanted to enter. She said "Every entry gets a goodie bag, and the winning prize is really big!" So I was like sure, why not, sign me up. She asked me something interesting about sasha...I was like umm....so she asked if I adopted her and I said yes, so that was her interesting fact. After the pics were done I went over to the huge circle of people and dogs that had crowded around and waited. They called about 4 people before me, but none of them were actually there, so me and sasha ended up going first. I had her do the trick where I hide a treat in one of my hands and then stick out both fists and she puts her paw on the one with the treat in it. There were like 5 or 6 other dogs that went. One stood on its hind legs, two barked on command, one did the thing where you shoot it and it rolls over, umm...I dont remember all of them. First runner up went to Tucker, the praying border collie, who sat down and put his front paws up on a chair and looked like he was preaying. And first place went to Sasha!! XD Yay! So we won a $25 petco gift card! It was so exciting. What a great day. I spent like 4 hours in petco.
Well, that's about it. Just thought it was exciting.
2 TOUCH THE WATER!!!s |
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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tboblp
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2004 5 December :: 6.14pm
and the way she looked was way beyond compare
Hockey is good, hockey is great, i love playing hockey. I will continue to do so. im also buying a new guitar soon
LeAvE a PiEcE oF yOuR mInD!
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