KirbyDee
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2004 18 June :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: "You'll Think of Me" -Keith Urban
I think I should appoint Keith as my mind
I should learn to take after him ^_^
Lyrics from "You'll Think of Me"
I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been trying my best to get along
But that's okay there's nothing left to say but.
Chorus:
Take your records, take you freedom
Take your memories, I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me.
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been.
So.
Chorus:
Take your records, take you freedom
Take your memories, I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me.
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life.
Chorus:
Take your records, take you freedom
Take your memories, I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me.
Chorus:
Take your records, take you freedom
Take your memories, I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me.
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday...
make my day a little happier
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musicalbabe
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2004 17 June :: 3.00pm
:: Mood: excited
So the bottom line would be...
SEND ME LETTERS!!!
I'm going to be at camp from June 20 to July 17!
PLEASE SEND ME LETTERS!
Here's the address:
Melissa Rose
Camp Unique
302 Portola Avenue
Portola Valley, CA 94028
(Okay, so I kinda just copied Ali's 'friend's only' entry but made it public. So yeah. Don't send us anthrax for posting the camp address on the internet!! Not that you couldn't find it on the camp WEBSITE anyway...)
But yeah! Candy, letters, presents, love, and anything else you'd like to send me (us) are welcome!
So since I didn't do the whole 'summer plans' thing in the entry below, I'll just do it now.
June 11-Got out of school!! Party at Molly's and then sang at graduation.
June 12-Went to see HP with Nicole and then to Alexandra's EOTYP movie night thing. (End of the year party)
June 13-Ditched summer sunday school ("exploring our faith through movies" featured film of the sunday: The Ten Commandments) and sang with the choir...some Rutter "Clap Your Hands" thing. Then youth group party which was lots of fun!
June 14-Went to Great America with Sarah and Ali! Fun stuff! Then slept over at Sarah's.
June 15-Woke up with icky puffy eyes (allergic reaction) and was driven home by Becky. Heard about Jeff's hot nerdy cousin (HECK YEAH!) but then was shot down when I asked Jeff himself about him. (Thanks...NOT! Haha oh well...) Horseback riding at 6 on Dante, jumped high, lots of fun!
June 16-Left at noon for Pleasenton, where I am now, with Dad. Learned to cook spaghetti with meat sauce, ate that, and went to see The Day After Tomorrow. Scary stuff. Cool movie.
June 17-Woke up, learned how to make bacon and cheese omelettes. YUM. Watched "What about Bob?" (finally saw the whole thing!) and began dough for rolls. Came up here and signed online for the first time since I arrived yesterday. *breathes* Almost had withdrawal there...
June 18-more cooking @ Dad's
June 19-more cooking @ Dad's
June 20-leave Dad's, finish packing (madly) and leave for Camp Unique!! WHOOO!!
June 20-July 17-Camp Unique!! First 2 weeks with Ali and Nicole, second 2 weeks with Ali. YAYYYYY!!! *SEND ME LETTERS!*
July 17-get on a plane and leave for Maui!!
July 17-two weeks after July 17-In Maui with the family!! July 18 is with Nicole! Yay!
Rest of the summer includes: oral surgery (wisdom teeth...fun), ears getting pierced (AHH!), white water rafting with church people, BAND CAMP!!! WHOOO!!, and back to school shopping!
*If anyone would like to take over my contact info for concert choir 2004-2005 project, I'll send you what I have and tell people to forward their e-mails to you! PLEASE DO THIS!! I'm leaving for camp and don't have a school directory and will not have a cell phone at camp, so that'd be great if you want to finish this up for me!!*
4 smiles |
make my day a little happier
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QueenWog
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2004 17 June :: 12.54pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Wicked!!!! i love it!!!
Carmel was a blast! Someday I am going to take you ALL down there and have a super duper huge partay!!! Pictures to come... I hope. Stupid computer. :)
I am sooooo excited! Today I am seeing my friend Mrs. Darby for the first time in TWO YEARS. Unfortunately, most of you do not know who Mrs. Darby is because she taught eighth grade English and Newspaper at Egan. I had the incredible luck of having her as a teacher and when she moved to Alabama two years ago, we promised to stay in touch. She is one of the most amazing women I know and she is a phenomenal teacher. Over the last two years she has not only kept in touch with me, but become sort of a second mother figure in my life. She always has advice and comfort to offer me when I need it most and is a fellow LOTR worshipper! I could go on and on, but I won't bore you to death by doing that. In short she is absolutely wonderful. And, after two years she is finally coming to visit!!!! TODAY!!!!
2 smiles |
make my day a little happier
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KirbyDee
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2004 16 June :: 11.55pm
:: Mood: uber annoyed
K, so we had out meeting and apparently I'm not guard captain I'm just on SLS. GRRRR! Plus she's like, "The person I want to be captain, will probably not be captain." Hello, soooo obvious she means me. honestly, she called me the ideal member today! sooo uber annoyed about that. And second thing that makes it point to me. She's like, let's discuss captain. And what does she say after that? She turns to the three seniors and is like, "age. how yould you feel if you're captain was younger than you?" they blank so she continues, "K, so let's say I make Deanna captain. How would you feel, not about her but her age." grrr, so annoyed! i want my captain.... sniff.... ... ... ... .. ..
AND I CAN'T GET MICHELLE BAER'S CONTACT INFO! ARGH!
make my day a little happier
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KirbyDee
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2004 16 June :: 7.22pm
:: Mood: exhausted!
:: Music: Hikari Planit B Remix version
Today is great... too bad I'm soooo tired
Kk, so I got three hours of sleep last night but w/e! I'm so hyper and happy!
Kk, so I had my appointment today and they gave me a new set of contact lenses! YAY! Cuz for a while they said it irratated my eyes too much so I couldn't wear them anymore so I'm really glad! I also got these awesome glasses that have lenses that turn into sunglasses outside but go clear when there is a lack of uv lighting so I can use them like glasses and sunglasses! Plus, got non-perscription sunglasses for looks ^_^
Went to Petco after and bought some treats for Cleo. Mike wants a land turtle and Will wants a hamster, and I want a bird! I used to have one, but then we moved and Bill (being the pissy animal hater) said I couldn't bring her with me since 'birds are too loud'. Oh well, just watch me. If I do my research and I'm serious about it, I will have my pet birdie ^_^ mmm, lovers *strokes imaginary birdie*
Have guard stuff in an hour... bleh.... too tired to discuss things and it will be the first time I've seen them. Don't want to see the upperclassmen, they're going to chew me up and spit me out as CG captain. *bites nails* hopefully not....
make my day a little happier
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KirbyDee
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2004 16 June :: 1.07am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Bride Wedding Song
Throw the rice and bring on the honeymoon!
Well. today has been a long day. But I went swimming with Yee to get ready for camp and that was good fun ^_^ love spending time wit her.
Have an appointment tom and color guard meeting at 5:30 bleh.... wanna sleep and lounge. oh well
Haha, okay. So, I've been married. The priest: Mark. The groom: Mark's friend Jeremy (aka Lim). HAHAH! He married us before I went to Yee's over im, it was great. I was Mrs. Lim. Then, time broke us up. Lim doesn't have any time for me, he chose school over me. So I filed for an annulment, and Mark turned into my attorney. It was funny. Lol, hahaha. This is great, I totally have to actually met this Lim guy. HAHAHAHA funny stuff. Good times.... gooooood times
make my day a little happier
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musicalbabe
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2004 15 June :: 1.01pm
:: Mood: contemplative
Finally...what you've all been waiting for...
Melissa's Words To The Seniors, Freshman Memories, and Plans for Summer!
Darin: Wow, there are a lot of things to say here. (Which is ironic, seeing as it's been over a year since we like...have said practically ANYTHING to each other.) But yeah, I think we both know how important we were to each other at that time in our lives. You really taught me a lot about life and what it means to be happy. It's been a long time since I've had one of those 6+ hour AIM conversations... Those were good. I'll never forget those. There are a few other things I'll never forget as well...but I've decided that I've learned from the mistakes and am glad to have made them, if only for the learning experience and the fact that I won't find myself there again. There's not really much else to say besides thank you for what we had and what I've learned from it. I can't say I needed to hear that I'm a pretentious bitch, but hey, I'm sure you're not the only one who thinks that. Have fun at Chapman and I hope that you are able to do whatever your heart tells you to do. (I'm sure YOU'RE capable of anything, there's just the matter of parents being unsupportive and whatnot.)
Matt: You awesome drum major, you! We love Matt! We we love love Matt love Matt! I'll miss your suppressed leadership (coughFerruccicough) and your friendly smile. You always made us laugh, even if it was because of your still-changing voice. You rock for being so supportive to the freshman and for being the musical God that you are. Have a blast at Davis and keep playing horn! You know that instrumentalists are sexy...
Jon: TUBA! You were my favorite leadership staff member. You're so friendly and happy and approachable and huggable! It's awesome! I'll remember you as being the first and pretty much ONLY leadership staff member for giving me little sticker stars for doing well during marching band camp! Thanks! I'll also remember going to see Fame and sitting with all of the marching band people and having a nice little conversation with you. I couldn't believe that I was talking to a senior! Haha! I know you'll do well in college and make tons of friends! Keep spreading your awesome personality to the world and you'll go far!
Laura: ASB President, Homecoming Court for Marching Band, Section Leader...you rock! Bassbone all the way! You are an inspiration to us all both as a leader and a musician. Have a crazy good time at Santa Cruz and keep being the amazing role model you are!
Dana: Okay, so maybe I've only talked to you a few times, but you're sooo cool! You're my favorite, crazy, wacko MSS alto! It was a pleasure standing next to you for graduation singing and hearing your lovely voice during concert choir! You have an awesome sense of humor and I'm sure you'll love college!
Brian: With your mad trumpet skills and marching ability, I look forward to seeing you in some championship marching band somewhere or hearing you play some mad solos for some philharmonic in the future! You're another leadership staff member who really welcomed the freshman and helped us all adjust to high school. Thanks for being such a friendly person and for making us all laugh!
Melissa's Freshman Memories
(Now I know I can't possibly recount all of them, but I'll go for a few...)
*Marching Band!! Soo many wonderful times with that group of people. I was really nervous coming in, seeing as I'd retaught myself how to play clarinet a few days before band camp started!! Then I REALLY wished that you could march an oboe. How wrong I was, though!! I bonded with my clarinet homees and hung out with them WAY more than my own friends outside of marching band during the season. I am so thankful to have met so many wonderful and talented people through the experience! I learned so much about the activity and what it means to work as a team in that short time. I only wish that I could have marching band in my life year-round!
*My first boyfriend. I think I wrote enough about that as it was all happening, so I'll leave it at that.
*Singing with Mark. Up until this year, that's all I'd known him as. I didn't even know his last name until a few years ago! Girls Ensemble has turned me into a girl with thicker skin and less embarassment. I've screwed up in front of all of you, gotten fed up with all of you, and suffered with all of you. Some of those long periods....yeesh! I think, as a class, we've bonded closer than any of my other classes. We have a caring relationship with each other that comes out when we're up there singing in front of everyone. We all care about each other's voices and how they've changed, and how Mr. Shaull hates some of us and loves some of us. We've all stood together, waiting for the G21, CC, and MSS lists go up. We've laughed and we've cried, depending on our voices and Mr. Shaull's mood. I've grown so much as a singer and as a person from these experiences. I can't wait until next year for Chorale, G21, and CC!
*The lunch crew. We meet for lunch every day in the 500 wing. "We" include: Me, Ali, Sarah, Sara, Marcella, Emily, Rachel, Eveyenia, Meredith (at one point), Molly, Louise...did I forget anyone? Well anyway, it's been great getting to know all of you better as lunch buddies. We've really been a tight group of friends, even though there are so many of us! We've talked about a lot and shared a lot with each other. (Me especially. I'm good at that 'sharing' thing!) We've gone through some traumatic times with friendship fall-outs and whatnot, but it's been a great year!! Babies!! Having a baby! I love babies, but not for me! Lunch bag quotes!
Oh, and THEY ARE BABIES!! I was right!!
*My first semester finals. And OH BOY were they stressful. I've never felt that on-edge in my entire life. It was seriously like 50 straight hours of being close to tears. I'm SOO glad my second semester finals were much more relaxed... and I'm forever thankful to that one person who called me during finals week 'just to talk'. MAJOR stress reliever!!
*Concert Choir and that that entailed. At first it was the best thing to happen to me since Marching Band and then it was torture. (For reasons that SHOULD be obvious.) CC really helped me understand what a mature voice should sound like. I also got to sing harder music and experience a large SATB sound. I also have fond memories looking back on camp now that I know a bit more about a certain person's intentions... (Thanks Francesco!! I knew all of that annoying 'tell me tell me' stuff would yield some good info!)
*Voice lessons with Paige. GOD I love that woman! Besides convincing me to be a music major, she's going to give me information about summer music camps and year round schools! Very cool! She's awesome. I think I want to be an opera singer. YAY!
10 Reasons to Date an Opera Diva
1) We know how to shape our lips.
2) We can baby talk to you in Italian.
3) We know MANY stories of love.
4) We have big boobs and know how to use push-up bras.
5) We know how to wear our make up.
*more to come as i think of them*
I'll update on summer plans later. I want to go enjoy the pool!
9 smiles |
make my day a little happier
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KirbyDee
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2004 15 June :: 2.33am
:: Mood: eh
Final words, then I shall drop it. I promise
To Molly: You've been nothing but nice to me. I do know hate is a strong word, and when I'm usually writing, for lack of better wording, pissy stuff it has nothing to do with you. The pain, that's about you. I miss you. That's what I have to say about what I've written regarding you.
To Louise: The same goes for you. Your kindness, hearing you laugh again... they were what brought about my regrets of quitting track. I could have cared less about how it would look on my college application, what made me have qualms was that I gave up my last shot of being on okay terms with you.
To you both: Wow. Not sure of what else to say, but you two have one amazing relationship. I wish you both luck and pray that you two continue to share the connection that you have now.
Now, as for Carmel. Yeah, I knew the tradition was broken when our friendship ceased but I couldn't help but feel jealous, depressed. Sorry if anything further upsets anyone, but she called me pathetic first so w/e. *flinches* There I go again, okay. Let's try that again. I know that Carmel is no longer our thing, it's yours. But I love my Carmel memories, if I was in Neverland and they said think happy thoughts that would probably be one of the first things to come to mind. I was selfish, I didn't want someone else to have those memories. Partially because they were all I had left of us, all I had left were my memories and I felt that they weren't as special because just anyone could replace me and have those memories. But, Yuna was right. Sometimes, even if all you have are memories, you just have to let the memories fade, let them go, and move on with your life.
Anyone ever wonder what things would be like if I had taken the time to read Nicole's entry correctly? If my mom hadn't cancelled my much needed psyciatrist appointment the day before?
Random thought: I should but a stress ball, haha! I thought I had a handle on my temper now-a-days but apparently not. ^.^ oh well, kitty makes me happy meow! =^.^=
~*~.:.1000 No Kotoba.:.~*~
http://www.animelyrics.com/game/finalfantasyx2/1000nokotoba.htm for english trans
Kimi no kotoba wa
Yume no yasashisa kana?
Uso wo zenbu
Oikakushiteru
Zurui yo ne
Tabidatsu kimi ni
Sameta senaka misete
Kiiteita yo
Hitori tatakau no?
Zurui yo ne
"Kaettekuru kara"
Oikoshiteyuku kimi no koe
Iji hatte
Tsuyoi furi
Toki wo modoshite
Sakebeba yokatta?
Ikanai de to namida koboshitara?
Ima wa dekiru
Donna koto mo
Ienakatta
1000 no kotoba wo
Haruka na
Kimi no senaka ni okuru yo
Tsubasa ni kaete
Ienakatta
1000 no kotoba wa
Kizutsuita
kimi no senaka ni yorisoi
Dakishimeru
Yume no tsuduki wa
Kimi wo omoinagara
Ano hi no koto
Wasureta furishite
Zurui yo ne
"Tegami wo kaku kara"
Shisen sorashita kimi no koe
Iji hatte
Tsuyoi furi
Toki wo modoshite
Okoreba yokatta?
Matenai yo to kata wo otoshitara?
Ima wa dekiru
Donna koto mo
Kikoeteru?
1000 no kotoba wo
Mienai Kimi no senaka ni okuru yo
Tsubasa ni kaete
Kikoeteru?
1000 no kotoba wa
Tsukareta
Kimi no senaka ni yorisoi
Dakishimeru
Ienakatta
1000 no kotoba wo
Lalalala..
Kimi no senaka ni okuru yo
Tsubaksa ni kaete
Kikoeteru?
1000 no kotoba wa
Lalalala..
Kimi no senaka ni yorisoi
Lalalalala....
~*~.:.Real Emotion.:.~*~
http://www.animelyrics.com/game/finalfantasyx2/realemotion.htm for english trans
What can i do for you
What can i do for you (yeah heh)
What can i do for you (alright)
What can i do for you
I can hear you
What can i do for you (ooo oh)
What can i do for you (ooh baby)
What can i do for you
Ano hi kokoro no kanata ni egaiteta basho ni iru Tohou ni kuretetari suru keredo mou modorenai
Yume ni mita katachi to wa
Nanimokamo ga chigau
Genjitsu ni wa... memai sae suru
Riaru na sekai ni yureteru kanjyou
Maketakunai
Mou tada hashiru shikanai kono mune ni
Kikoetekuru
Kimi wa hitori jyanai
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
I can hear you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
Kesshite furimuki wa shinai anata ni wa toyoranai
Nanika ga areba kanarazu suguni kite kureru kara
Ima boku ni dekiru koto
Sore wa shinjiru koto...
Shinjitsu nara kono mune ni aru
Riaru na sekai ni yureteru kanjyou
Sasaeru no wa
Sou anata ga oshietekureta subete
Ima no watashi
Daraka, hitori jyanai
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
What what what
What can I do for you
What can I do for you
I can hear you
Riaru na sekai ni yureteru kanjyou
Kanjitemo
Anata ga me o tojita nara soko ni iru
Kizuna ga aru
Dakara, hitori jyanai
Riaru na sekai ni yureteru kanjyou
Maketakunai
Mou tada hashiru shikanai kono mune ni
Kikoete kuru
Kimi wa hitori jyanai
What can i do for you (yeah heh)
What can i do for you (alright)
What can i do for you
I can hear you
What can i do for you (ooo oh)
What can i do for you (ooh baby)
What can i do for you (yeah, heh)
I can hear you
I can hear you
make my day a little happier
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musicalbabe
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2004 15 June :: 9.06pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Wonderful-Everclear
Great America
"We're spreading happiness across the world--One bucket at a time!"
"I'm scerrd!"
Random Boy 1: Can I have a hug?
Me: *with a priceless look on my face* Are you SERIOUS?!?!
And then we hugged them.
"That was the most interesting thing I've seen since some people got stuck on Vortex when I was first in line!"
"THAT'S a fashion emergency right there!"
(contact me for pictures...)
"Don't touch that! It's my private sexual place!"
(referring to my belly button.)
"If anyone saw us, they'd mistake us for some lesbian couple!"
(regarding Sarah and I.)
Me: I can have an Aussie accent, really!
Sarah: Shut the fucking hell up!
Me: *HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA* *smile* one second later *has a completely serious expression on her face*
Me: What's this song? Isn't it Disney?!?!!?
Sarah: No, it's the love theme from Romeo and Juliet!
Me: OH!! YES!! THAT'S WHAT IT IS!! *hums madly*
Ali: There's something wrong with Patrick's pants...
Ali: *said MANY TIMES over the course of the day* WHAT IF I LOSE MY SHOE!! What then?! LOOK! IT'S A SHOE!! 2 SHOES!! IN THE WATER!!
Melissa (after the log ride): AHH! I'M WET!!
"OH MY GOOOODNESSS!!!"
"Ick! Don't touch the gum wall!"
Me: SARAH!! TAKE OFF YOUR EARRINGS!! Ewwww!! It went through her ear!
Sarah: OWW!
Ali: Well yeah. It's just a hole!
Me: Yeah! IN HER EAR!! EWWW!
Me: Ummm...does anyone want to buy me a caramel apple?
Ali and Sarah: NO! You don't 'lend' money to Melissa. You GIVE money to Melissa!
make my day a little happier
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KirbyDee
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2004 15 June :: 12.05am
:: Mood: awesome
:: Music: Like Dur or w/e it's called, it was playing at A.E
Haha, ignore my previous downtrodden state
Totally went to the mall today with Yee, it was hella fun! We ate awesome food and then shopped around for her other's friend b-day present. I got: 1) a cute, short, white skirt from Forever 21. 2) two purses with matching wallets (one of the set is for Yee's early b-day prez) from Pac sun. 3) two tube tops and two overshirts from American Eagle (aka A.E.). I think that's all, I don't remember lol! But I spent $310!!! LOL! hahaha, only $20 of it was mine, the rest my mom gave me ^.^
lol, did the math wrong... i only spent 210 (which is still quite the chunk of change)
make my day a little happier
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KirbyDee
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2004 14 June :: 2.02pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: "Going Under" performed by Evanesence
In the wise words of Garfield, "I hate monday's"
As if it wasn't bad enough that the new trio left for Carmel today, my mom seems to have made it her mission to ruin my life. First, she gets all pissy and refuses to let me hang out with Yee unless it's under her supervision. Then, she doesn't send the last $300 for the camp I was supposed to go to with Yee and now I can't go and you have no idea how pissed I am about that. And, to make matters worse she screwed up my registration form at foothill and fucked up my foreign language plans. Honestly, someone just kill me cuz I'm too big of a wimp to do it myself.
make my day a little happier
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KirbyDee
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2004 14 June :: 2.09am
:: Mood: confuzzled
:: Music: Hikari (aka Simple and Clean) preformed by Utada Hikaru from Kingdom Hearts OST
Life has confused me...
Things that don't make sense:
1) Why the hell they put up with me all those years. A- I was a bitch. B- They could have done sooo much better.
2) People don't trash me outright when I bitched at them, but when I start realizing the damage I've caused it's trash Dee time.
3) Why I care so much.
I'm not saying I don't deserve what I got, I deserve a hell of a lot worse. That doesn't mean I don't miss my old friends, doesn't mean that just because I'm suddenly forbidden to say anything. Whatever, I don't care. You hate me, go ahead hate me. Replace hate with whatever you feel towards me, it doesn't matter. I can't change the past, apparently no one besides me wants to change the present and without changing the present I can not change my future. So why try? I'm really not seeing why it's such a bad thing that I feel guilty, that I miss Molly and Louise though
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musicalbabe
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2004 14 June :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: contemplative
"There is no such thing as 'in' music."
Anyway, the speaker of the quote above did not want me to reveal his name, so I won't. But I'll say that he does say profound things sometimes. And a whole lot of stupid things, too, but yeah. lol.
As I got into a heated argument with one of my best friends about the freedom of "how you sing a song", I realized something about my musical fundamentalism.
I'm very rigid, yet rigid about being FREE.
So, back to the point. There is no such thing as 'in' music. There's not. Screw pop culture. Music is what expresses what you feel inside. It's what inspires you. It's who you are.
Therefore, move beyond the "popularities" of our music. TRL doesn't tell us what the 'best' music is. It never has. It only tells us what the masses of fake, bimbo-ish, conformist teenagers are interested in. It's what they're into. But it's not about me.
I don't often know the songs on TRL. I can't hum the tune. I don't know the words. I couldn't tell you the name of the song. I don't even know who sings it. Those aren't the songs that make me tick. That isn't who I am.
Who am I? Ironically, the first thing that comes to mind when I ask myself that is a song from Les Miserables. I think of Jean Veljean on the stage, his amazing voice crying out, pleading to understand who he is and what he should do with his life.
I like performance. I thrive on the stage. I like musical theatre. I can relate to the stories of hearbreak, love, torture, pain, if even on the level of empathy.
I'm quirky and unique. I love the storylines of Wicked and the risque qualities of Avenue Q. I sing along to them both as I cook or do homework or lounge in my room. They make me feel good.
I'm a band nerd. I love orchestrations. I can often be heard whispering or shouting "OBOE! OBOE!" in ANY musical score. It happened when I first listened to The Mass of the Children, it happened in the middle of Harry Potter... I have a thing for oboes, okay? The sound of strings against winds, brass boldly crying out, woodwinds mellowing the excitement, strings harmonizing. The only radio station I'll listen to is 102.1. I wish I could go to the symphony more often. My parents don't really value the symphony.
I sing. I like to hear GOOD people sing.
Josh Groban is a wonderful classical singer. I also have a thing for Chanticleer and boys choirs. I have a CD from a Welsh touring group that had a homestay at my house for a while a few years ago. I have a few CDs of opera. I like listening to the different tambers of the human voice. I enjoy analyzing the vibratto and tone of professional singers. I like having something to look forward to in my own voice.
There is no such thing as 'in' music. Music is on a personal level. Musicians have a very special way of expressing themselves. A beautiful, blissful way. And no one has the right to say whose music is 'in' or not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As an afterthought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE SUCH BITCHES!!! AHHHHH!! AND THEY NEED TO DIEE!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIEEE!! AND STOP BEING BTICHY TO ME! STOP STOP STOP STOP!!
Would you like a description of the type of people I can't STAND?! Alright, here ya go. These type of people:
1) Have zero self confidence.
2) Cling to you like you're their best friend when there's no one else they know around.
3) Treat you like a fucking bitch when they have people to "back them up".
4) Switch in between 2 and 3 constantly, so you never know what the hell to expect from them.
I HATE THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE! GET SOME SELF CONFIDENCE AND STOP TAKING ALL YOUR PROBLEMS OUT ON ME. JUST BECAUSE I HAVE AN OUNCE OF SELF-CONFIDENCE, YOU LEECH ON TO ME LIKE...A GODDAMN LEECH!
GAHHHHHH!!! Some people....
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musicalbabe
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2004 13 June :: 5.28pm
:: Mood: horny
:: Music: Avenue Q-You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want (When You're Making Love)
LET IT BE KNOWN TO THE WORLD, MELISSA IS HORNY!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME DO ME!!!!
Fuck I need some action. (Reread the beginning of this entry and CALL ME!!)
*pants*
Ummm, I think I'm done now. But I'm still REALLY REALLY REALLY HORNY!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!
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KirbyDee
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2004 13 June :: 8.03pm
:: Mood: opps...
:: Music: "1000 No Kotoba (1000 Words Unspoken)" preformed by Koda Kumi from the FFX-2 OST
My bad... sorry Mel
I hope I didn't get you in any trouble with M and L, I actually didn't mean to copy and paste that part. I'm really sorry if it gets you into any trouble, not sorry I wrote it though. Just sorry if it's gets you into trouble with them. Sorry, really and truly. ~*~Dee~*~
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KirbyDee
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2004 13 June :: 1.09am
:: Mood: Contemplative/ Depressed
Hey, just gonna copy and paste my xanga entries here
I've been known as the heartless bitch for a good part of my life. Okay, so maybe not but I have been heartless in the way that I don't like to deal with reality. I just sort of shove it to the back of my mind and don't deal. Yes, I'm quite aware that's not a good idea (I've only had my psyciatrist say that over and over). All my negative emotions are converted into anger, the one negative feeling I'm not afraid to let people see. I say that because I can already see the comments, "Deanna, but you're ALWAYS smiling." Well, I smile because I would rather not cry. There is so much that you guys don't know about, but you do at the same time. You all know it, but it's not a big deal to you and you don't understand. One of the many reasons I despised Cliff so much is whenever I was depressed about my dying Yai, my recently diagnosed diabetic Thah who also has cancer from smoking, and how I miss the only person who ever brought me true happiness, Cliff would just reply, "I've lost people too." Then he preceed to name off distant relatives, like it was some huge thing that he's relatives who he hadn't met died. Death is death, but I was close to my dad and I remember things when he was around despite my age. Hell, I remember things from when I was less than a year old. Which is amusing since my short term memory is horrid, hahaha. Hense why I'm on a totally different topic from what I originally wanted to post on.
My point being, the tough girl is really breaking down here. I know, I know... I said I hate sympathy a couple entries ago but that doesn't mean I don't want a hug! *Sigh* Promise, no more drifting for the rest of this entry. I was listening to "Eyes On Me" sung by Faye Wong from the OST of FF8 and is also my backround music on my xanga. It really hit me that I'm not happy. Sure, no one is happy. No one is content with their lives. There's always something more, just one step out of our grasp that we want. The sad part of this all is that I don't know what I want. My hypothalamus is really screwed up here, I don't even recognize my basic drives (like hunger drives). I want so much to be loved, to be held, to be someone's... but when they want it too, it's like iron wall! *Sigh* I walk into the kitchen after I just stuffed myself full (with my eating habits lately, it's a wonder I haven't gained 20 lbs), and I open the pantry and pull something out. Then I go to the fridge and pull something out of that too, then the freezer. I sort of stare at the food I've collected, deciding what type of meal I'm going to cook up for myself. Once I've decided, I just sort of stand there. My mind battling itself over whether or not I'm going to eat. One half saying I have th munchies even though I'm not hungry, while the other is repulsed by food. So I stand there until my mom pokes me and asks me to move, so I put all the food back and return to my computer. A few minutes later, I'm back up in the kitchen looking over my food options.
I could go on about similar situations but I don't want to bore you more than I already have. My point is, and I'm not sure if I've brought this up in a previous entry, I don't know what I want in life. Everything was so planned out in my mind, and now I'm not sure I want to go down that road anymore. A few weeks back my mom asked if I needed something since I was doing my little hang around the kitchen thing, and my reply was, "You know, I'm not hungry. I'm also very bored *Glare from Bill who opens his mouth to say something.* Save it Bill, I know what you're going to say so let me rephrase. I'm not happy..." Mom laughed slightly at that and put the mail down, "Well then Dee, do something that makes you happy.", she replied as she walked down the hallway. When she reached the end I just stared across the kitchen and whispered more to myself than to her, "I don't know what makes me happy anymore..."
I love how I haven't even touched the topic I wanted to. I sort of did, but it was supposed to be tied to missing the seniors but I guess I got carried away....
~*~.:.Deanna.:.~*~
~MAJOR EDIT!!!~
So, being me I check up on my ex-bff's woohu journals to see how they're doing. A little backround info: When Molly, Louise and I were a trio every year we went to Carmel. Spent the weekend up at her mom's house in celebration of Molly's b-day on June 5th. We'd visit the beach at least once, go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and play that dumb magnet hermit crab game, go shopping in Carmel and stop in the toy store, the candy store, and the little porceline store. Then, on the way home we'd stop in Salinas to visit Molly's mom's horse, Chikita. There's always some new rescued animal there that we fall in love with, new foals born just months ago and visit the yearlings who met the year prior, feed Chikita and some of the other horses and last year we even rode Chikita! It was our special thing, we were supposed to go every year. It was going to be even better when we could drive so it'd just be use, not that I don't adore Mrs. Wyman. Anyway, back to the post. So I was reading their entries and came across this:
Nicole's journal: "AND I'M EXCITED ABOUT GOING TO CARMEL NEXT WEEK! AHHH!"
Thinking it was a coincedence, even though the only comments were from Molly but non-related, I checked Molly's and it was, "CARMEL ON MONDAY!"
This better be a coincedence, I know they wouldn't take Nicole in my place... Would they? Am I being replaced? Cause that hurts... a lot.
~More Edits~
So I just finished watching InuYasha, very good stuff I'm telling you. Too bad the ending theme was "Dearest" and depressed me... more than I already was. So I come back to finish removing a virus and remember I imed Mel to ask about whether it was coincedence of if they were taking Nicole in my stead. The answer:
Horseeyoregal: she's going with them
That, that's pain right there. Pain on a stick and thrusted deep into my heart. A pain that stands in front of me, and no matter how hard I try to push it into the same sludge pot where the shit in my life is... it won't budge. It stands there. Holding me. Choking me. Watching me fall limp to the ground. Mentally: I am dead. Physically: I wish I was with my mind.
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musicalbabe
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2004 12 June :: 6.14pm
:: Mood: exhausted
Harry Potter!!
OMG HARRY POTTER WAS SOOOOO GOOOD!! AND THE BOYS ARE YUMMMY!!! AHHHH!!
Fred and George Weasely, DO ME!! TOGETHER!! BOTH OF YOU!! AT THE SAME TIME!!
Harry and Molfoy, FIGHT OVER ME!! HOTNESS! (And when Harry wins, Malfoy needs to make those cute wimpering noises.)
Sirius Black needs to kidnap me and take me on a ride with Buckbeak...and then he can 'ride me' wherever his hideout is...;-)
And Snape can be all cute and fatherly and protective...:0D
And...I think that's all the HP people that can fuck me...did I miss anyone?
Okay now THIS is funny:
Cookie4Nat: im joining the los altos pd officer program
Horseeyoregal: ok
Cookie4Nat: ive been recuited like 10 times for it
Cookie4Nat: there is this cop
Cookie4Nat: walking around school
Cookie4Nat: and he knows who i am
Horseeyoregal: oh
Cookie4Nat: and he keeps telling me about the program
Cookie4Nat: its like the cop version of mr shaull
Horseeyoregal: LOL
Cookie4Nat: actually...they can pass for brothers
Cookie4Nat: both bold, tall, a big tummy
Horseeyoregal: haha
Cookie4Nat: can i come arrest u once i get into the program?
Horseeyoregal: ummm
Horseeyoregal: maybe
Horseeyoregal: i'll think about it
Cookie4Nat: o yes...i will screw you..
Horseeyoregal: okay
Cookie4Nat: i have thought about it
Horseeyoregal: that w*orks then
Cookie4Nat: huh?
Cookie4Nat: orks?
Horseeyoregal: that works*
Cookie4Nat: haha
Cookie4Nat: yupp
Cookie4Nat: sarah will surely be happy with my decision
Horseeyoregal: lol
So I stupidly baked myself in the sun again today...didn't really mean to, but IT WAS SO INVITING TO GO READ AND SIT IN THE POOL!! I'm not burned though...but I'm peeling from yesterday...oops!
Oh, and I've decided, seeing that I know am running 3 journals, that I have a mild case of hypergraphia. It's some neurologic desease that causes you to have this obsessive compulsion to write...HAHA!
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QueenWog
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2004 12 June :: 6.38pm
:: Mood: pretty good
:: Music: La Vie Boheme-RENT
the end
Can you believe it? School is over! I am still in the "non-realization" stages where it still has not completely hit me that we don't have to go back to school until the end of AUGUST!
Finals overall went pretty well for me. I am a little worried about Bio, I probably could have studied a little more for Spanish, and I am really glad that our History final did not count... but hey, whatever! So, Thursday was my last day. Friday was way awesome, need I say why? *wink*
Singing at senior graduation was not a big deal for me. Most people were complaining about being tired and full ;), but for me it was kind of fun to be involved and sing one last time with all the cool seniors who are leaving. I kind of wish I had stayed to watch the whole thing, but I was really tired so I went home and watched Zorro. Ha!
Today I went to see my cousin get a spiffy award for excellence in undergraduate studies because she is JUST THAT SMART. She is going to work for Google. Geez, some people get all the good genes ;) Tomorrow, she graduates from Stanford and my family hosts a party for 50 people. Should be interesting.
CARMEL ON MONDAY, after Paige lesson.
And I would like to end this entry by thanking each and every one of my wonderful friends. You guys are so amazing and I appreciate you all a LOT! Thanks for being you! You rock and I love you lots!
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musicalbabe
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2004 10 June :: 1.59pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: RENT-No Day But Today
But I don't WANT to study for history!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=19960624.png&filenumber=7
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=19970401.png&filenumber=18
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=19990404.png&filenumber=30
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20000109.png&filenumber=39
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20010226.png&filenumber=60
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20010326.png&filenumber=62
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20010806.png&filenumber=73
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20010910.png&filenumber=75
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20011015.png&filenumber=76 -AHH! I TOTALLY DID THIS!!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20020408.png&filenumber=79 -THIS HAPPENED TOO!! (To Lisa, though...)
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20020415.png&filenumber=80 -HAHAHAH!!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20020610.png&filenumber=86
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20020819.png&filenumber=92 -I'm the hyper guy all the way!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20030324.png&filenumber=106 -Yup, I've been there!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20030406.png&filenumber=108 -OMG APRIL FOOL'S!! AHH!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20030622.png&filenumber=113 -haha!! MATT IS HOT!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20030720.png&filenumber=116 -I've totally had conversations like these!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20031018.png&filenumber=120 -AHH!! We totally named our formations dirty things!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20031208.png&filenumber=124 -HAHAHA!
http://www.dawgtoons.com/talesfrombandcamp/comicarchive.php?ishome=1&filename=20040412.png&filenumber=137 -I LOVE YOU, TRUMPETS!!
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